Chapter 98
Time stood still.
Hearing these words, Guan Nan felt a sharp pain in her heart, liver, spleen, stomach, and kidneys, and all she could do was repeat "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again.
Guan Nan didn't even dare to imagine it.
He was clearly such a free-spirited, flamboyant, and proud person.
At this moment, however, he was utterly insecure and in a sorry state.
If she had known, if she had known long ago, that person was Jiang Li, she would definitely have turned back long ago and looked back at the boy who had walked alone for so long.
Instead of being anxious and hesitant, sometimes advancing and sometimes retreating, sometimes fast and sometimes slow.
It is possible to look back on it after many years.
But she discovered that the person who had always been following behind her was still following behind her, walking very, very slowly.
Guan Nan said, "Jiang Li."
"Mm," Jiang Li replied.
"You said your wish would last forever," Guan Nan blinked hard, trying to hold back her tears, summoning all her courage, "Does that still count?"
Jiang Li's eyes flickered slightly. "Mm."
"Then..." Guan Nan's heart tightened, and her voice became hoarse.
As she spoke, she took a step forward.
Then she looked up and their eyes met.
This time.
Now it's my turn to walk towards you.
“My wish,” Guan Nan said softly, “is that Jiang Li can always love Guan Nan.”
Upon hearing this, Jiang Li said, "This doesn't count as a wish."
Guan Nan was taken aback.
“This is not a wish,” Jiang Li looked into her eyes and said clearly, “Jiang Li would not dislike Guan Nan.”
Every word and phrase resonated deeply.
Guan Nan clearly felt her heartbeat freeze for a moment.
Nine characters, neither long nor short, are repeatedly touched and sorted, growing wildly as if they have the ability to reproduce.
She held her breath, then slowly blinked, repeating incredulously and foolishly, "You like...me..."
“Otherwise,” Jiang Li led her to the balcony and handed her a glass of warm water, “a stranger on the street, breaking into a private home, and I just agreed to marry her? Am I crazy?”
An electric current shot through Guan Nan's spine, and she stiffened, whispering, "I thought you were just being stubborn."
"It's not me who's being stubborn, it's you." Jiang Li touched the wall, turned off the spotlights, and turned on the concealed pipes on the balcony.
Guan Nan glanced at it; the dim light shining on the small pomegranate tree cast a unique color, and she was slightly lost in thought.
“I’m not stupid,” Jiang Li said calmly, as if she were talking about something that had nothing to do with her. “It’s just that Qi Yang saw you come back and tried every means to prevent you from seeing me. He didn’t want me to know you were back and even deliberately caused trouble for me. But he didn’t expect to run into me anyway. He tried to pretend to be your boyfriend to fool you, but he had no idea you wouldn’t cooperate.”
"How do you know it's an act?" Guan Nan asked, looking into his eyes.
Jiang Li twitched his lips. "You're always good at hiding everything, but there's something called liking someone. You can't fake it, and you can't hide it. Besides, we haven't seen each other for so many years. You can't even hide your unfamiliarity, let alone liking someone."
After a pause, Guan Nan asked him, "Then why were you angry back then?"
"Shouldn't I be angry?" Jiang Li said calmly. "Look at me, I didn't even say hello, acting like a complete stranger, and you're telling me I can't be angry?"
Guan Nan looked away, staring at the dark water, and said without much confidence, "You didn't say either."
"What did you say?" Jiang Li put down his phone. "That He Jiafen is my cousin?"
"······"
Jiang Li said, "You have to believe me if I say that."
If Jiang Li hadn't known the truth now, it would have been hard to believe he could explain that she was his cousin, given their intimate behavior back then.
Not to mention under those circumstances.
"I will," Guan Nan said guiltily.
“You will,” Jiang Li leaned back in his chair, a lazy smile playing on his lips, and said slowly, “You’ll just think that you’ve heard or seen countless times this kind of low-level, unpresentable stuff, or even written countless scripts like this. I’m old-fashioned, tacky, and not presentable.”
Upon hearing this, Guan Nan was speechless, and her smile was somewhat forced: "I didn't."
That's what they say, but if Jiang Li had said that back then, she would have been scared off the next day, and she wouldn't be here today, sitting face to face with him.
Having seen so much, with real and fake mixed together, my ability to distinguish what I like has become blurred.
However, Jiang Li just chuckled, it was unclear whether he believed her or not: "The day they came to bang on the door, it was Qi Yang who said something to you, right?"
Guan Nan's eyelashes trembled slightly as she instantly recalled everything that happened on Valentine's Day, from receiving that message, through the conversation she overheard after dinner, to finally getting her household registration book and standing at the entrance of the coffee shop.
Actually, it wasn't a momentary impulse, nor was it a result without careful consideration.
I spent the entire afternoon locked in my room thinking and struggling with making this decision.
But the thought of Jiang Li marrying someone else one day, even before it actually happened, made her feel like she couldn't take it anymore.
Rather than doing that, I'd rather give myself an explanation for all these years, even if the ending is unpleasant.
Guan Nan prepared for the worst.
During this process, we dared not even harbor any wishful thinking.
I was prepared to be kicked out, scorned, scorned, and ridiculed, but none of that happened...
"Yes." Guan Nan admitted, but there were many things she didn't know how to talk about, and she didn't want to play the victim, so she vaguely glossed over many things, only saying: "That day he asked me if I had a marriage prospect, and if not, I could settle for him."
Hearing this, Jiang Li frowned slightly, then relaxed, as if he was holding back something. He swallowed hard before saying, "He's dreaming."
"······"
"And then?" Jiang Li tilted his head and asked in a low voice.
Seeing this, Guan Nan took a sip of water and said sullenly, "That's it."
The glass of water was empty.
Guan Nan put down the cup, thought for two seconds, and then picked it up again.
Perhaps it's the darkness of night that's bothering me, but my stomach and heart are both very full tonight. After experiencing extreme satisfaction, one's mind and body inevitably relax considerably.
Incidentally, if something is being stored away in a compressed manner, it will all be blurted out without warning.
“It’s getting late,” Guan Nan said, standing up and gripping her water glass tightly. “I’m going back to sleep now. You should go to sleep early too.”
Jiang Li grabbed her wrist: "And then?"
After a few seconds of silence, Guan Nan lowered her eyes and stared at her slender hands, then said, "Goodnight."
Jiang Li remained expressionless and did not let go.
"good evening."
"······"
"Boy friend."
"···········"
In the moment Jiang Li was stunned.
Guan Nan ran away, not even having time to put the water glass back in the kitchen. She just left it on the coffee table, quickly opened and closed the door, her face flushed, her head shrank, and she buried herself under the covers, not daring to make a sound.
The door was very soundproof; it was so soundproof that you could hear the door click shut much later.
After turning off the lights, Guan Nan kept replaying the scene and every word that had just been spoken in her mind.
Only after my excited state subsided, and my pajamas swept over me and invaded my brain, did I catch a glimpse of the words 'Transfer Agreement' flashing across the screen out of the corner of my eye.
Sleepiness came over me, and before I could think of anything, I was instantly lost in a dream.
That night, Guan Nan had a very long dream.
In her dream, she returned to her childhood and saw her younger self, wearing a pink dress, with cute little braids, a sparkling crown on her head, and surrounded by many playmates.
Their eyes lit up with delight, and they whispered enviously, calling her "Princess."
Because she not only has an endless supply of new clothes and money to spare, but also a kind and gentle mother who is always smiling and never easily loses her temper.
In addition, she always dressed in a white dress and wore a crown, and she often played the piano and won awards, so she was given the title of princess.
Back then, everyone loved playing with her.
She was the center of attention, surrounded by admirers wherever she went, and loved by everyone.
She seems to have been born for the stage.
At least until she was eleven, Guan Nan always believed that this kind of life would continue unchanged, making her radiant and vibrant.
I thought all of this was God's kindness.
Until that day, she participated in a competition but failed to win the championship.
Missing out on the championship felt like the first blow that would send her into a period of decline.
Everything that followed happened so suddenly.
The father's infidelity, the mother's outburst.
My father remarried, and my mother's condition worsened to the point of being uncontrollable.
All the darkness completely enveloped Guan Nan at this moment, shattering all her fantasies and hopes for the future.
In an instant, the camera panned.
The group of people who used to follow her around and call her "princess" with sweet smiles changed their attitude overnight. They stopped playing with her and even called her "crazy."
"We don't play with lunatics."
"My mom said I can't play with crazy people."
"I don't want a toy that belongs to a lunatic. I'll give it to her."
"Get lost, we're not playing with you."
Love is like mud and sand, lacking cohesion and stability; a splash of water will cause it to vanish instantly.
Something seemed to collapse imperceptibly.
With a loud crash, the little figure was left isolated in place amidst a series of shoving and pushing.
Even after many years, Guan Nan still felt a lump in her throat when she read it.
She took a step closer, but before she could even touch the girl's head, she had already vanished.
In the blink of an eye, the scene changed again.
In 2014, fifteen-year-old Guan Nan squatted alone beside a pomegranate tree, picking up fallen leaves one by one, carefully comparing the veins, and gently tucking them into her decorating book.
Before I could even get up, a child skipped over and stepped on the decorating book.
Turning to look at his parents, he laughed even more heartily after being indulged, as if he hadn't had enough, and was about to repeat the same trick.
It was filled with items that Ran Mingju liked, and in the bright colors she loved.
Guan Nan snatched the decorating book with quick eyes and hands.
The child, oblivious to the situation, laughed innocently as if playing around, trying to snatch the cake decorating book from her. When he couldn't win, he started to whine and act spoiled, resorting to all sorts of tricks. Seeing that Guan Nan didn't indulge him...
He opened his mouth and bit down hard on the fair forearm.
pain.
It hurts a lot.
Seeing this, Guan Nan subconsciously touched her arm, where the previous pain seemed to linger, as if it had never disappeared, sharp and piercing, making her skin numb.
But she didn't cry.
The older sister came over and pulled the child away, as if she were a virus.
As if reprimanding a child, he turned to her and said a lot of sarcastic things, finally spitting out a resentful remark, "You can't even get along with kids, who would like someone like you?"
Guan Nan stood alone under the pomegranate tree, clutching her decorating book tightly, her eyes red as she tried to hold back her tears.
On Thursday, her eyes were glazed over, but she stubbornly stood still in place.
Guan Nan pursed her lips, wanting to comfort her and tell her...
"Yes, there will be people who like you, and there will be people who want to be your friends."
"In the future, you will make friends, and they will all be family members you chose for yourself, without any blood relation."①
"You will no longer be alone, no longer a drifting ghost in this vast world, insignificant and homeless."
"You returned to Fuling and moved back into Hecangyuan, finally seeing the person you had been longing for day and night. Also, through a series of unexpected events, you got your marriage certificate and became a legally recognized married couple."
"Right now, you have a great job, a decent salary every month, and your friends and loved ones are by your side. You feel more fulfilled than ever before and are full of hope for the future. Although some unpleasant things have happened along the way, they are insignificant."
—"If possible, please make sure to stop your mother before the college entrance examination, don't let her go out alone on her birthday, and don't let the mistake happen again."
—"Also, the person you've liked for a long time actually likes you a lot too."
"Don't hurt his feelings, don't make him sad anymore. It's not easy to find someone who likes you."
—"Always remember, there's always someone waiting for you under the clock tower. Don't say goodbye lightly."
However, when the moment of jumping into the river arrived, seeing the woman with no will to live and resolutely climbing over the wall and down the bridge, all the words that were choking in his throat were swallowed back down.
Even if he could do it all over again, Guan Nan thought he would probably still grip the knife tightly and kill her without hesitation.
But things didn't go as planned. Lin Zhaozhao had a day off that day, and the three of them were enjoying a happy time together. Suddenly, Guan Nan's rationality crumbled, and she angrily climbed halfway up the mountain.
How could they, after killing Ran Mingju, still sit together happily and without a care in the world?
Before she could even make a move, seeing the knife in her hand, Zhang Guilian panicked and pointed at her, calling out "Ran Mingju's" name, her eyes filled with fear.
"Don't call her name," Guan Nan said sharply, her eyes red. "You don't deserve it!"
With a knife pressed against her cheek, Guan Weimin knocked her to the ground, pointed at her, and hurled all the foul language he had ever used, all the while calling the police.
Guan Nan vaguely remembered that last cold and resolute gaze.
It's like looking at a disgusting pile of garbage.
In a daze, Guan Nan heard someone call her name.
Turning around, she saw Qi Yang standing in a gap next to the grocery store, looking impatient as he urged her to hurry up and avoid being late for school.
Guan Nan responded, picked up her schoolbag, and closed the door.
She walked to the railing, and just then it got dark, and a bright red caught her eye.
Under the banyan tree and in front of the pomegranate tree, Jiang Li, dressed in a bright red Christmas outfit, looked up at the crowd with a phone still connected to his ear.
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