After that, I realized one thing: I'm ugly, so ugly that I have no friends.
This resulted in me not having a single friend during my six years of elementary school.
Because I got away scot-free after beating up the school leader's son on my first day of school, I wasn't a target of school bullying.
Because my younger brother has reached school age, my parents no longer pay attention to me.
The only way I can get their praise is by getting first place in every exam.
This was the only time I felt a sense of presence at school.
Because at school, no one talked to me or chatted with me. The only time I communicated with someone was when the teacher asked a question in class, and I would raise my hand to answer it.
When my answer is perfect enough, the teacher will praise me a couple of times. But that's all the praise I get, and then I'm forgotten in the corner of the classroom again.
And so, I spent six lonely years, and finally got into the district's key high school with the highest score in the district.
As I grew older, my grades improved, but conversely, my appearance didn't grow up to be as good as my parents had hoped; instead, I became uglier.
I was so ugly that when my parents rewarded me for good grades and took me to the amusement park, other kids pointed at me and laughed at me in front of them.
However, I had heard these words enough over the past six years and completely ignored them.
But my parents couldn't stand being mocked like that to their faces.
Because the other parent not only didn't stop their child's rude mockery, but actually laughed along with their child.
So my parents went up to argue with the other parents, but instead of apologizing for their rudeness, they publicly ridiculed my parents for having an ugly daughter and mocked my father for being cuckolded.
My dad couldn't hold back and started fighting with the other parent.
After the police arrived, our amusement park trip ended unhappily.
After this incident, my father became much colder towards me, and so did my mother, who rarely accompanied me out anymore.
Perhaps my existence truly brought them shame.
After starting junior high, I no longer expected anyone to be my friend.
Thus, I stood in stark contrast to the people around me.
Under the same sky, in the same space, I feel like I live in two different worlds from the people around me.
I know that close relationships like friends, classmates, and best friends may never appear in my life, so I study even harder.
He achieved the highest score in the city in the high school entrance examination and was admitted to a key high school.
I achieved the highest score in the province in the National College Entrance Examination (Gaokao) and was admitted to Yanhuang University, the top-ranked university in China, becoming a medical student. My reason for choosing medicine is that being a doctor is a profession where it's perfectly acceptable to wear a mask.
During my junior year, I was exceptionally admitted to Harvard Medical School in the United States due to my outstanding academic performance.
After I went abroad, things improved. Perhaps it was because of my excellent grades, but several foreign students took the initiative to befriend me.
But by then I had already developed a withdrawn personality, a personality trait that was acquired later in life; I had locked myself in that world myself, so I didn't become friends with them.
Five years later, I turned down a high-paying offer to stay at the university and a job offer from the Mayo Clinic.
I returned to my beloved motherland with the knowledge I had acquired.
The day I returned was the peak of my life.
Inside Beijing Airport, I was with my mentor, the university president, several high-ranking leaders from the Yanhuang University School of Medicine, my father, mother, brother, younger brother, and sister-in-law, with my sister-in-law holding my little nephew in her arms.
They were all standing at the airport early, waiting for me to appear.
At that moment, I understood the power of knowledge.
I, Song Qian, have rewritten my life through my hard work and my knowledge.
After returning to China, I joined Peking Union Medical College Hospital in Beijing and became an attending physician, wearing a white mask every day as I moved between the office, wards, and operating room.
If that man hadn't appeared, I might have spent my whole life in the research lab.
Six months ago, I met that man during an operation.
He wasn't particularly good-looking, nor did he have any outstanding features.
But for some reason, at thirty years old, I, who had never longed for love before, suddenly felt a longing for love the moment I saw him.
Her heart, which was originally as calm as well water, became uncontrollable after meeting him.
I can tell that I really like him.
But the feeling of liking someone can't be hidden.
But my appearance makes me afraid to get close to him.
Even though I am now the head of a department at Peking Union Medical College Hospital, I still don't have the courage to face love directly.
For the past six months, I have been suffering greatly.
I don't want to miss him, nor do I want to go against my heart.
But I don't know where to begin.
I want to get close to him, but I'm terrified that he'll hate me because of my appearance.
I don't want my love to end before it even begins.
Having lost interest in research, I took a two-week leave and returned to X city, hoping to calm down at home.
When I returned to X city, I met a very special person through WeChat.
He told me about a magical place in City X, a place where anyone could have anything they wanted. As long as you paid the right price, you could get anything you desired.
At first, I didn't believe it because I'm a materialist, and besides, I'm a graduate advisor at a research institute. I just took it as a joke and didn't pay much attention to it.
However, after I returned home, my longing for my beloved intensified. This longing tormented me, making me even more miserable and distressed than when I was at the research institute.
I once considered having surgery, but the best plastic surgeon in the US told me that the success rate of plastic surgery in my case was too low, and if it failed, my face would very likely become a deformed monster.
Moreover, the drawbacks of having a surgically enhanced face are too great as you get older; it's not even as good as I am now.
So I gave up on the path of cosmetic surgery.
But what way can I openly and honestly confess my feelings to the person I like?
This question haunts me constantly and has become a demon in my heart.
I even think I'm on the verge of becoming depressed.
Just when I was on the verge of despair, I remembered that amazing person on WeChat.
I reconnected with him, just to give it a try.
After I told him my request, he said he could grant it to me, giving me the face of a school beauty, without changing my facial features, only how others perceive me.
This is beyond the scope of medicine as I understand it; neither Western medicine nor traditional Chinese medicine has such a claim.
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