Snow was falling heavily from the sky.
Across from the orphanage was a school. He and a child whose face he could no longer recall were leaning on the fence, watching the bustling scene of school dismissal.
The snow that day was so heavy that it blurred people's vision.
But those car lights, carrying love, were so bright, their warm yellow light piercing through the vast snow and wind, carrying little figures who had just left the school gates on their way home.
They had seen this scene countless times.
Thousands of lights illuminate countless stormy nights, but not a single one will stay for them.
Suddenly, a call came from behind.
I can't remember his name, I was calling out to the kid next to him.
I seemed to hear a few words in a blur.
"Your sister has found you."
"You can go home with your sister now."
In a daze, he caught up with the child who had been called away.
A gentle voice, choked with emotion, called the child's name.
In the warm yellow light, a blurry and slender figure embraced the child, coaxing him in a voice he had never heard before.
When he grew up, he understood that people often described that kind of voice as gentle.
The old woman at the orphanage had a rough voice and was very fierce when she scolded people; he had never heard such a gentle voice before.
The orphanage he was in was located in a small town and was poorly constructed, so no one would come here to adopt a child.
At least in his memory, that child was the only one who was taken away by outsiders and enjoyed the warmth of home.
He stared blankly for a long time, watching the blurry figure called "Sister" bathed in warm light as she carried and comforted the child as they left the nursing home.
He was either two or three years old at the time; in any case, that was the earliest image he could recall for the rest of his life.
He has no parents, no family, and of course no sister.
He didn't even know what his sister meant.
I just felt that the image of the "older sister" was so beautiful and warm.
If possible...
Um……
He also wanted to have an older sister.
*
Later, he slowly regained his memories.
That was a very dark memory.
The orphanage was poorly managed; several fierce old women treated them like livestock.
He was born with a gentle nature and a delicate mind. Although he was also raised by a nanny, he was completely different from the rough and wild boys around him who grew up like weeds.
Like a small moon that has fallen into a mud pit, covered in mud, yet still trying its best to maintain its clear radiance.
So they ostracized him and bullied him.
He was weak and had little strength, so they teased and provoked him at will. When he was about to explode, they swarmed him and beat him until he was black and blue.
After they beat him, they will take away his food and leave him without food.
They mockingly pointed at the girls next to him, telling him to steal food from them, since he couldn't beat any of the boys there and the only way to get food was to steal from the girls.
He cried until his eyes were red with grievance, and naively complained to the old women, but they kicked him away in disgust, spitting at him and cursing him:
"Useless coward, can't beat anyone and only knows how to complain, deserves to be bullied!"
"If you have the guts, go and get it back yourself. You're an unwanted bastard, do you expect anyone to protect you?"
He was beaten and couldn't get food, so he couldn't take it anymore and fell ill.
On a cold, rainy night, he had a high fever of 40 degrees Celsius, and his whole body was trembling and his consciousness was blurred.
His mothers wouldn't take him to the hospital; they wished he would die sooner so as to lessen their burden.
"Nobody wants this stuff, yet it's pampered like a young master. It'll be useless when it grows up, it'll be better for it to die sooner rather than later, you little bastard."
"Seriously, this boy is more delicate than a little girl. I'm useless, and I'm making him suffer. I might as well burn him alive."
"..."
Fortunately, there was still an old woman who hadn't completely lost her humanity. She randomly stuffed an unknown pill into his mouth, and then left him to fend for himself.
He was in so much pain he felt like he was dying, and he couldn't help but curl up in the blankets and cry.
It's cold; he can't warm up the bed by himself.
It hurts, it burns like fire, I feel dizzy and my whole body is trembling.
He longed for someone to hug him and comfort him; he couldn't take it anymore, it was too painful.
But he could only curl up alone like a pitiful little dog, licking his wounds, letting his tears dry, and no one would feel sorry for him at all.
He cried until he had no strength left, and could only let the cold darkness envelop him, dragging his battered soul into the abyss.
It was during those days that he shed all his tears.
He won't cry anymore.
*
His fate took a turn when he was six years old.
The school across the street didn't have enough students that year, so they came to the orphanage to recruit a few orphans to make up the numbers.
They organized an exam, and he was selected at first glance for his top score, becoming one of the lucky few who were able to enter school on time.
He had no one to care for him, no one to keep him company, and no entertainment, so he studied exceptionally hard and quickly stood out among the other children.
He received admiring glances from his teachers and classmates, and when he received such glances for the first time, he was so excited that he felt like he was on cloud nine.
In that dark orphanage where might makes right, he was a useless coward, a sickly kid who couldn't beat anyone. Nobody respected him, and nobody treated him like a human being.
Those admiring and even envious glances made him feel that he still had some value.
So he studied even harder.
Gold will always shine, but not all gold deserves to shine.
His outstanding performance overshadowed the brilliance of those local powerful and wealthy children.
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