Chapter 165 I Will Never Wish You Freedom


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Chapter 165 I Will Never Wish You Freedom

The little monster is also growing well today.

The white-haired child, wearing clothes that were too big for him, had never had his hair cut since he was born, because his bangs blocked his eyes too much, and it looked too ugly if he tied his hair with a cloth strip. In the end, Fyodor, who was so annoyed that his eyes were stung, cut off his bangs with his own dagger.

Thinking of this, Fyodor lowered his eyes and touched the two daggers, thinking about the "thing" he saw in the scabbard of the dagger.

When exactly… ?

"No, Feijia, she hasn't been back for a few days?"

The child walked up to him, raised his head and asked him, his round golden eyes were rimmed by dog-bitten bangs. Fyodor looked away and spoke softly.

"Eight days."

"Eh? Has it been that long?"

Probably because the woman who was as beautiful as a snow woman seldom came back, and when she did, she hardly spoke to Chiba. She would just drop off supplies, rest for a few days, and then leave. So the child naturally learned the wrong language. He only knew his own name in the language of this world—Fyodor told him that—but other than that, he spoke fluent Japanese and English.

Even her words and actions were somewhat similar to the one she was with day and night.

The reason they asked this question was not because the children could not distinguish the sun from the moon. Although they should be in the polar night zone in the far north, it is not difficult to distinguish the changes in a day because the stars in the sky are different. But the reason why Qian Jianmu couldn't distinguish between the sun and the moon was because he fell ill again a few days ago.

It is a disease that is inherited from being roughly raised as an infant. When the child is very tired or at certain times of the day, he or she will fall asleep involuntarily. Sometimes he or she will have a fever, and sometimes he or she will just fall asleep.

He can sleep for many days and no one can wake him up.

The kid brought two tubes of nutritional supplements, gave him one, and sat beside his legs to eat it slowly.

"You know I can't have dinner with you, right?"

"You take it and I'll take it as if you've eaten it."

The child blinked:

"It's not very tasty, and I don't really want you to eat this."

Ever since one day when he was annoyed enough to maliciously tempt the child with food from that world, the child began to hate nutritional supplements. Although he had never eaten anything good, he just felt that 'people like Fedor must have grown up eating very good food, and we common people should not pollute his taste buds.' This feeling always made Fedor feel as if he was superior to others.

He also ate dirt and garbage... This explanation feels even worse, he's not that miserable, never mind.

Holding the tube of dark blue liquid that looked unappetizing, Fyodor sighed.

"I will poison you sooner or later," he said.

"Oh, okay." The kid even took a few more bites.

"What a bore." He sighed.

The little ghost nodded again: "Yeah, are you in a bad mood today?"

Fyodor asked with amusement: "You don't believe I will do anything to you?"

"You will do it. I believe it." The messy white-haired kid said in a very calm and serious tone, "You are the most uncontrollable and dangerous person around me. You are the only one who can kill me."

Fyodor was so angry that he almost laughed: "Then why are you still hanging around me?"

"But you are the only one by my side." The little ghost's golden eyes were filled with his shadow, and his tone was almost indifferent: "If you want to kill me, it doesn't matter if you don't tell me. It's up to you."

...That's right.

Qian Jianmu, like that woman, lacks certain emotional nerves.

He was able to sense the malice, he actually had all his memories from infancy, he clearly remembered that Fyodor had tried to kill him countless times, strangled him, drowned him, or cut his arteries with a knife.

But he felt no fear, he could not have any emotions about it.

Although he knew that Fyodor hated him, he was unable to express emotions such as sadness or fear. On the contrary, his thinking was more practical, rational and neutral.

He accepted Fyodor because he was the only person who could stay with him, and it was his instinct to seek benefits and avoid harm.

The time that silent woman spent with him was very limited. There was no love, no chit-chat. The woman just wanted to wander, like a moth flying towards a fire, not knowing when she would die.

It is not certain when he will die.

Therefore, it doesn’t matter even if Fyodor is a ghost that only he can see and touch, even if Fyodor is the god of death who takes lives, it doesn’t matter whether he is an enemy, a friend, or a relative. He couldn't judge such complicated emotions, but instinctively, as if chasing oxygen, he approached and tried to get close to her, like a madman walking on a high-altitude single-plank bridge, with death on both sides, and he was pursuing the eternal excitement in front of him.

This is Qian Jianmu's characteristic. As long as he cannot receive emotions normally, he will exchange his important things for what he wants.

"Little monster." He uttered the words silently.

The child tilted his head and asked, "What language is this?"

"It's Russian," Fyodor said. "It's useless for you to learn it. Just sit there and do nothing."

So the child lay obediently by the window and watched the stars rise and set outside.

Three or four years have passed.

More than three years, maybe four.

Fyodor actually couldn't remember the time very well, because there were no scales here, and his watch didn't move, so his time seemed strangely still.

Sometimes he thought that leaving a child alone to grow up in a house like this, with no time scale, no one to accompany him, no toys to waste his energy on, and only waiting in dead silence, such a boring, empty and narrow space would be a horrible cell, a destruction and abuse of the spirit and soul.

It seems to be even worse than him, at least he had pain in the past.

There is only a small window in the thousand-room room, an empty life, snow on the ground, stars in the sky, and dead silence.

What kind of person will he grow up to be? Could it be that this cowardly and overly gentle person was created by him?

Just thinking about this made Fyodor want to laugh.

After a while, the child spoke again.

In this space where everyone was staring at each other, the only toys that child had were the strange equipment on Fyodor, such as poison, dagger, hat, coat and jacket. He kept a distance and just watched from afar with curiosity, but that persistent look alone made Fyodor's scalp tingle, so he had to show him each piece of equipment, and finally threw the hat on his head to let him entertain himself.

After getting it, the child took a bite and said "Puh" in disappointment.

“This is not tasty.”

“… Clothes can’t be eaten, right?”

In short, this kind of life-wasting silent conversation happens every day. In fact, he is too lazy to listen or care, but the child's voice always inexplicably pours into his eardrums like the morning news during breakfast.

"Feijia, if she doesn't come back, are we going to continue wandering like this?"

"Who will accompany you? Me?" Fyodor said sarcastically.

"Ah, that's right. I will die after all. I can't find food, and I can't beat the monsters." The child seemed to have a premonition: "If I die, will you die with me?"

"Won't."

"lie."

The extremely perceptive boy looked at him for a while, then turned his head and looked at the snow outside:

"We need to think of a solution."

"..." Fyodor realized something was wrong and took a breath, sat up, and looked at him steadily: "What did she say to you?"

She was the woman, because none of them knew the woman's name.

"I didn't say anything." The child looked outside, his eyes empty and clear: "It's just a feeling."

"What?"

"The feeling of parting." The white-haired child turned his head and smiled: "I feel it, the taste of parting."

…

…

This kid has a bad mouth.

On the eleventh day, the woman did not come back.

On the fifteenth day, the woman did not come back.

Most of the fuel blocks were consumed, but there was still plenty of nutrient paste and injections.

But when the temperature drops below zero, this place becomes a frozen coffin.

If the woman did not come back on the day when the fuel ran out, Qian Jianmu would have to face the man-eating snowfield of the far north alone.

And now he looks less than five years old.

Even though he was very calm, he was just a child who had been imprisoned and restrained since childhood. A child is a child. Realizing that the date was approaching, he counted the stars all night because he couldn't sleep. He also pestered Fyodor to give him some difficult math problems to do mentally. He worked on them for an entire night and fainted again the next day.

It was an old illness and he didn't know when he would recover, but it also gave Fyodor some time to go out for a check-up.

He used to go check the outside world often. Although he couldn't leave Qianjianmu for too long, he could go farther as long as he endured the discomfort. But no matter how hard I tried, there was nothing but snowfields in front of me, and behind the snowfields was more snowfields. It was empty and totally worthless to observe.

However, far away to the right rear, there seemed to be some building piercing the sky.

Although, that kind of thing is of no use to him.

He exhaled, and although he clearly didn't feel the cold, Fyodor still hugged his shoulders slightly because of the annoying heavy snow. He observed the movements around him, randomly chose a direction, and started walking.

Anyway, try it first.

Try to find that woman, or find information or avenues that might be of use.

He couldn't let anyone die in the snow. He would be so angry that he would die if the monster he had raised for several years died here.

If I had known this would happen, I would have let him do it himself a few years ago, at least I could have given him a quick death.

——He thought so before he saw the bloodstain and the backpack left specially for Chijianmu.

Then, there was a sudden silence and stiffness.

…

…

"Dead?"

The kid who woke up again was packing his backpack. There was no surprise on his face, and his tone was much weaker and lower than that of a normal person:

"Fejia, what should I say if my mother dies?"

"There's no body to be found, only bloodstains. Maybe he just wants to abandon you." Fyodor said sarcastically.

"That's not surprising. She is free."

The backpack was so big that it almost covered him. He sat behind the backpack, leaned his head out, and sighed:

"Forget it, then I wish her to live freely in this snowy plain forever."

Fyodor's expression froze, and he suddenly didn't know whether the child was seriously blessing or cursing.

Maybe because they have been together for too long, sometimes he finds it difficult to tell what the child is thinking.

However, those eyes were blinking moistly and clearly, staring at him with such an innocent look. On the contrary, there was a hint of hypocrisy in his tone:

"But I will never wish you freedom."

"Huh? What?" Fyodor was a little surprised.

"I won't let you go, you're mine."

The golden, round pupils, because of the light shining in, glowed with a chilling cold light, like a wild animal locking onto its prey or a cat occupying its territory, with extreme concentration and seriousness. The child spoke in a very calm tone, as if it was a natural and reasonable request:

“You’ve always been here, so you need to be here forever.”

"You can't leave me anyway, so you have to stay with me."

The innocent and arrogant possessiveness of a child combined with the overly rational and calm nature has become a weird and strange declaration. As if to take over his life, she forced a knot between the two of them.

He is just too young, like a kitten saying harsh words.

Fyodor stared at him for a while. After a long time, he covered the lower half of his face and let out a muffled laugh.

“Haha…Pfft…hahahaha…”

“…What are you laughing at?” the child asked blankly.

It had been a long time since he laughed so happily. Fyodor couldn't stop trembling. At the end, he even leaned to the side and gasped for air due to inexplicable exhaustion.

Ah, do you really need to breathe? He raised his head, looked at the dust and mildew on the roof, and wiped away the physiological tears from the corners of his eyes.

"Okay..." His crystal-clear purple eyes sparkled with a hint of water light. Relaxed as never before, he said lazily, "I'll wait."

"Hmm?" The child tilted his head.

"I'm waiting, waiting for the day when you can no longer say 'set you free'."

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