Chapter 31 If you want both, you have to bear the consequences / Mr. Dazai who lost his halo, Akutagawa can't accept it
Children from the slums are born with the right to be forced to kill.
Even Nakahara Chuuya had killed countless people when his supernatural powers went wild without him realizing it. By the time he came to his senses, the period of confusion had long passed.
He could easily take a person's life, but he was not completely disrespectful of life. He has his own principles: he does not kill innocent people indiscriminately, does not abuse people with mercy, does not play around for fun, and does not make a living from it.
So, he shouldn't have had such a big reaction to the slum kids killing people. Even if he killed someone, tell him that he would just bury the person properly, treat it as a sad thing that is not worth celebrating, and then let time wash away the blood.
This is the cold-blooded ruthlessness unique to Yokohama.
However, Nakahara Chuuya's attitude is too strange. He seemed to be shocked, or perhaps he was unable to accept the feeling and was on the verge of collapse. It wasn't like he was angry at someone so much as he was afraid of some accepted behavior.
Almost immediately, Sengenmaku realized that something had happened to Chuuya. He said goodbye to the Armed Detective Agency and rushed to Leibo Street amidst Edogawa Ranpo's thoughtful expression.
——
“Chuuya, do you still mind?” The white-haired child stood in front of Chuuya Nakahara, his eyes showing impatience that he tried to hide but couldn’t. He patiently advised, “No one did it on purpose. No one expected something like this to happen.”
"Didn't expect it?" There seemed to be a thin layer of frost between his eyebrows as he chewed on the word. His stiff face twitched as if he wanted to laugh, but then he silently held it back.
"You go back first." Finally, this is all he could say.
There will always be that kind of people in Leibo Street, the rich and famous people who fall into hell, and the devils from hell crawling onto the human world.
This place is bustling with people, and it is the intersection of the human world and nightmares. When the upper class bullies the lower class, the lower class feels hatred and endures it silently until they are lucky enough to see their enemies fall into despair, and then they eat their flesh and blood like hungry ghosts.
But, those are not emotions that a child should be able to understand. If it was a deep hatred, it could still be understood, but if it was just a small incident that caused a group of children to take revenge, how horrifying it would be.
Just a week ago, after the sheep's children saw a homeless man who had had a minor incident walking into their looted warehouse, they did not warn or drive him away, but locked the door with laughter.
It was summer, and most of the warehouses on Leibo Street were container houses. The tin houses had no windows, and the thin layer of black or dark blue tin sheets absorbed heat extremely well. Often at noon, when there was no ventilation, the temperature inside the tin houses could rise to a terrifying level, no less than a ready-made oven. The poor, unaware man walked in and found the door locked, and immediately began to call for help, but the sheep's child just laughed and ignored him.
That day, the children listened to the man's painful cries. They laughed and played, and when it was time to rest, they went back to rest, and unexpectedly forgot to let him out. The next day the man was still alive, begging in a low voice to be released, but the children did nothing and even believed that being hungry for a few days would not be a problem. On the third day the man fell silent, and the children forgot about him.
Yesterday, Nakahara Chuuya suddenly became excited and accidentally discovered the dead man. By then, the man was completely naked, his joints were covered in blood from struggling, his limbs had varying degrees of burns, and his body was covered in foul-smelling excrement. He looked horrible because of extreme fear and heat, which was enough to make people understand what kind of torture he had suffered.
When the Shinichiro incident happened a few years ago, Nakahara Chuuya was still unable to understand the concepts of the normal human world. But Sengenmaku did not teach him nothing. Nakahara Chuuya was trying to learn how to manage sheep and trying to replan their direction, but in fact, the effect was very poor.
He restrains his flock and tries not to allow them to commit crimes, which is no less than forcing sinful children to do their homework at home. The children began to feel dissatisfied with him, and at the same time, Shirase, who did not have strong abilities or a smart mind but had very high social skills, appeared.
He secretly gathered the other children at an extremely fast speed and led the others to pretend to obey but actually disobey. He thought he was powerful, but he had to admit that Nakahara Chuuya was the core pillar that should be supported, so he could only reluctantly stalemate with Nakahara Chuuya. He should have suppressed his presence very well, just like he was doing, superficially giving Chuuya a sense of importance, but in fact he was manipulating Chuuya Nakahara's power. As long as Nakahara Chuuya's guilt and attachment to his companions still exist, he will not think deeply about this matter, nor will he discover it.
This is when the importance of reading emerges.
Chuuya didn't read the book in vain.
He has been receiving remote instruction from Qian Jianmu, who has been gradually instilling into him the management knowledge he had previously learned. He himself is still writing poetry and observing the lives of normal people. He was sensitive and intelligent, and had mastered some basic techniques. He immediately realized something was wrong at the slightest disturbance among the flock of sheep.
When he realized that the sheep children were committing all kinds of cruel atrocities without telling him, and when he realized that he was excluded, Nakahara Chuuya felt a phantom pain that was cold all over his body.
For the first time, the young wolf stopped fighting and looked back at his own tribe, and found that those companions who seemed friendly on weekdays were not the same as himself.
Then an inexplicable fear and chill surged up from the bottom of his heart, and he had no choice but to seek help from the young teacher again.
He was holding a pack of cigarettes he had picked up. The boy tried to light the cigarette for the first time and took a puff, but the cigarette didn't go through his lungs. The studious young boy had amazing comprehension. After a slight adjustment, the smoke was filtered through his lungs and exhaled again. Looking at the taller white-haired boy, Nakahara Chuuya gave a wry smile.
"I don't know what to do."
When he was rescued from the ruins and didn't even know how to speak, he happened to meet the sheep who huddled together for warmth. They were the first friends who showed him care and respect for others, and the first group that made him feel needed.
But after years of conflict and friction, Nakahara Chuuya, who had accepted his own sins and was ready to live with them, gradually realized the essential differences between himself and this group of people, and many times he began to feel out of place.
Confused, struggling, but unable to leave.
His mind seemed to be split, and he didn't know what he wanted. He just felt pain and torture, and he didn't even know why the pain came from it.
Qian Jianmu looked at him, and slowly, he realized the essence of the matter.
Zhongyuan Zhongye has changed.
The original Zhongyuan Zhongye actually didn’t care what the sheep did, nor did he care about the consistency of their thinking. He is sincere and ignorant, but not stupid, he just doesn't care. He sees himself as a tool to be used, and his supernatural powers are his good cards. He doesn't need the sheep to bring him anything, and he doesn't have any expectations from the sheep. Don't cause him trouble, don't kill yourself, and don't stop needing him. He just covets the relationship between people.
And now, Nakahara Chuuya is trying to pursue himself. After his ability to think independently is liberated, he begins to pursue synchronization of thinking.
Nakahara Chuuya, who has accepted his sins and is ready to live with them, is sentimental but more rational. After years of conflicts and frictions, he gradually realized the essential differences between himself and this group of people, and quite often he began to feel out of place.
Until today, he finally realized that his existence was not what he imagined.
His relationship to his fellows is not like that, and his relationship to sin is not like that. The shelter and protection he thought he had were not what he imagined.
So divided.
"But what will the sheep do if we leave Chuuya?"
Qian Jianmu tilted his head and asked softly:
"Can you really endure this? Or do you have to be cruel and leave?"
The ochre-haired boy stared blankly at the blank space, and then for a long, long time, he looked through the white smoke of the cigarette with his deep blue eyes at the frighteningly clear sky.
He suddenly grinned, but there was no smile in his voice.
"How can I turn a blind eye and leave calmly?"
Even if I don't understand, I can't abandon my companions.
Qian Jianmu tilted his head, said nothing, and thought without interfering.
"…Give me some time, I will stay here, at least, temporarily."
After a long while, Chuuya exhaled smoke and whispered:
"...I will wait until the day they no longer need me."
Emotionally, Zhong is also passive. He will not take the initiative to change until he has to.
So it is understandable that such a still somewhat naive decision was made.
If it's Qianjianmu... No, that doesn't make sense.
After laughing to himself, Qian Jianmu sighed softly:
“People who have enjoyed ease and comfort suddenly lose the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of their labor. They will hate you.”
"—Then hate me."
The young face showed a calmness far beyond usual, and Nakahara Chuuya looked at Chigenmaku with a gentle, calm and sad gaze.
Those eyes were so gentle and broad, yet so stubborn and domineering. Clear and bright, deep and heavy, it really is like the eyes of some kind of god.
He said:
"As long as I exist in this world, what sins and hatreds can I not bear?"
What an outstanding student.
Thinking of this, Qian Jianmu laughed.
"Then I'll help you."
——
In the slums in the other direction of Yokohama, Dazai Osamu, who had just got off the bus, was walking back and forth unsteadily and suddenly sneezed.
"Ahh, am I going to catch a cold again? No—"
He had just hung up the phone with Endo Shusaku, who gave him an address and told him to go there by himself. Although he hid it well, one could feel that Endo Shusaku really hated that little psychic.
What’s his name… Ryunosuke Akutagawa?
Dazai Osamu walked casually but almost keenly through the alleys lined with shacks and stopped at the entrance of an alley next to a dilapidated house.
He arrived at an untimely moment, as several vicious-looking kids were trying to rob a dilapidated shack. Akutagawa Ryunosuke's ability required a lot of training, but he obviously did not have the conditions for it. He was also sick, so although he was resisting, he seemed helpless. The little beast formed by the clothes was as soft as a pet, and even if it fought back it could only push it away.
If you can't learn to survive here, it would be better to die.
As he thought so casually, Dazai Osamu's face showed an extremely tired expression. His eyes were dark and not a single light could let in. He just watched lazily and seemed to have no intention of getting closer.
He even wondered, if Akutagawa Ryunosuke died like this, how would he report it when he returned?
And at this moment, the young man, who was helpless due to a serious illness, passed through the crowd of people and caught sight of his figure. The pair of eyes, filled with worry and indignation, but also with lifelessness and numbness, locked onto his face.
Noticing Akutagawa Ryunosuke's gaze, Dazai Osamu curved his eyebrows leisurely and waved his hand:
"hi"
He smiled and lip-synced.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
