Chapter 43 "When I left this wound..."
And so, the naive Deidara was fooled by you, tricked into doing unpaid work, and he didn't even realize what was going on. You said, "I did it because I trusted Deidara, and I thought you wouldn't let me down, right?"
The people in this world are too honest. They've never been taught the hard way about empty promises. So when they heard you say that, they were just stunned for a moment. They vaguely sensed that something was wrong, but they couldn't quite put their finger on it. Deidara thought for a few seconds. Since you said that he did this because he trusted you, then he... shouldn't betray your trust.
But then he asked suspiciously, "You wouldn't say the same thing to everyone else, would you?"
It seems he's not so easily fooled. "Of course not." You're telling the truth. Because everyone's personality is different, the corresponding strategies will also be adjusted. What's that saying again? Oh right, tailor-made rhetoric.
Deidara stared at you suspiciously for a long time until you said, "I suddenly realized that your eyes are quite beautiful too."
Your praise completely shattered his previous arrogance. He said, "Why are you praising me like that all of a sudden?" The atmosphere was instantly disrupted. He reached out his hand to you, and you, confused, placed your hand on it. Deidara was taken aback, wondering if you were doing it on purpose. "That's not what I meant," he said.
So what does he mean? You give him a strange look. Deidara still blushes so easily. He blushes when you compliment him, he blushes when you hold his hand. He seems to be constantly blushing. You say, "So what do you mean?"
Deidara said, "Give me your task list."
Oh, so he's asking you for a task list, but you haven't thought of one yet because you were just making empty promises. So you continue making empty promises, saying, "Ah... there's no rush. Are you in a hurry to complete the task? I think it's fine to just stay here, isn't it? I mean, just the two of us."
"It's really good," Deidara thought to himself, but he didn't say it aloud. He wasn't very good at getting along with others, and he used to be a loner in the village as well. After all, in his opinion, no one in the village could understand his pursuit of art. They would only ask him to give up this pursuit and turn him into one of those boring ninjas.
Although he is a ninja, becoming a ninja does not mean that he has to give up his pursuit of art. Can't he have both at the same time?
The topic seems to have gone off track, but he thought back to a long time ago, before he defected, when he was still in the village. He was already tired of the unchanging life. If possible, real life should be like an explosion, bursting forth with brilliant light.
Perhaps he existed for that very moment.
But you, he thinks you might be able to understand him, even if you always seem so nonchalant, he is so certain in his heart that you have never denied his pursuit of art, and even asked if he needed financial sponsorship, doesn't that represent your attitude?
So you are special to him, irreplaceable by anyone else. Thinking of this, he glanced at you without saying a word.
Then he got caught peeking, and you said, "So what was your answer?"
"Oh right, you just said a lot to him," Deidara said, snapping out of his daze. He blinked and said, "Well... I'll stay with you for a while then."
You said, "Deidara, have you never learned how to get along with others properly?"
Deidara was still being stubborn, saying, "What? I don't need to get along with anyone, and besides—it's not difficult to get along with others."
It's not difficult, but you can tell how socialized a person is after just a few conversations. You always feel that the members of Akatsuki are not very socialized, otherwise you wouldn't have concluded that the war must be completely resolved by force.
After all, unity and struggle are both indispensable, and wanting to completely resolve war is an idealistic idea. Of course, you don't mean to deny this idea; you just think there are other solutions.
Just as you were about to pull your hand back, Deidara grabbed it and said, "...I want to hold your hand."
It's really a big improvement that you can speak your mind so frankly. A look of satisfaction appeared on your face, and you said, "That's good. Next time, just say what you're thinking."
Deidara was quite obedient, saying, "I also want that Konoha ninja to die on the way."
"Oh, well, that won't do," you frown and tell him in a soothing tone, like you're telling a child to stop fussing, "This won't do." But you can still discuss the others.
Deidara may be a bit childish, but he's not unreasonable. He can tell that the Konoha ninja named Nara Shikamaru is still useful to you.
Alright, since the other party is still of use to you, then he should reluctantly let him go.
Deidara added, "Then I want you to give me another goodnight kiss tonight."
"Sure, but after I kiss you, are you sure you won't collapse and be unable to get up?"
"Are you kidding me? How could I possibly be that weak?!" Deidara indicated that last time was just an accident. You uttered a couple of "ohs" and then asked, "Haven't you kissed anyone before?"
Although he really wanted to deny that he had kissed her, he knew that such a lie would be easily seen through, and the situation would only become more awkward. So he honestly replied, "No, I hadn't thought about that before, um!"
Indeed, he hadn't thought about who he would like before. After all, liking someone is something that is fleeting, and the feeling of liking someone isn't always sweet. For example, his liking for you now is mixed with bitterness. He gets extremely irritated when he sees you getting close to other men. He is tormented by this unpredictable thing, and his emotions fluctuate wildly, completely out of his control.
Then you become someone you no longer recognize.
That's the downside of liking someone, but it also has its advantages. Last night, your goodnight kiss left his mind blank, his nerves trembling with excitement—a feeling that only occurs when a perfect explosion is created.
And your kiss, falling so lightly, was nothing short of an explosive storm.
If a kiss could achieve this, what if it were something else? Deidara suddenly thought of something and coughed, "Cough cough cough—" as if he had choked.
What's wrong with him? You reach out and pat his back to help him catch his breath, and he coughs until his eyes become watery, as if he's about to cry at any moment.
"Are you thinking about something unpleasant?" you asked, your expression knowing exactly what was going on. Deidara avoided your gaze and protested, "No, I... I wasn't thinking about anything else!"
Fortunately, you didn't dwell on the topic too much. You said, "The matcha here is also very famous. Let's have matcha cake this afternoon."
The topic jumped a bit too fast. Deidara let go of her hand, and she had to take it back as well. He suddenly said, "Although I don't have much experience, but... if you're willing to teach me, I'll learn well."
...Does he know what he's saying? If you look at the context, you'll realize he's saying something terrible.
Deidara lowered his eyes, his thick eyelashes obscuring his blue-green pupils. He said, "It's like clay; the final shape depends entirely on how it's sculpted during the process. You can..."
As he spoke, his voice grew weaker and weaker, "You can shape me into whatever you want, whatever shape you like."
It took him a lot of energy to say those words. It's strange, he's not afraid of anything when he's fighting, so why is he so terrified by a few words he said to you?
You stand up and lead Deidara back. The ninjas of this world have strange values, and even their views on love are not normal. Once they fall in love, they will subconsciously give their hearts and souls to you, without caring whether they will be hurt. They are so generous and so impatient.
"So why aren't you saying anything? Don't you want me?" Deidara asked anxiously, turning his head to the other side. "Don't you want me?"
"No, I really like you, Deidara. Your blonde hair, your eyes, and your fingers are beautiful too."
His fingers twitched slightly, and his voice was muffled, "Then how did you..."
"Because I've been quite busy lately, and my energy is limited."
What you said is true. You are indeed very busy, so busy that you don't even have time to play around with men. In the end, playing around with men is just a spice. You can't possibly forget about the important things for the sake of spice, can you?
Deidara seemed to be analyzing the credibility of what you said. Well, it's quite credible; you do seem very busy. Every time he comes to see you, you're looking at documents. He said, "Don't you ever have a moment when you're not busy?"
"Ah... well, maybe that's just how the adult world is."
What do you mean by "adult" or "not adult"? He can tell you're just avoiding the main point. He said, "Then I'll wait, until you have time."
That was a surprisingly mature answer. You said half-jokingly, "I thought you were going to say you'd blow up my study."
Deidara narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "How could I be so childish?"
You all returned to your guest room chatting and laughing.
After the foundation's celebration ceremony on the first day, most guests embarked on their journey home, while some guests planned to stay here for a while to discuss cooperation. The days you stay here are for discussing cooperation.
Sometimes you discuss collaborations over tea, and sometimes you discuss them while watching a play. In short, you feel like you've discussed a lot of collaborations.
This wasn't just your feeling; it was actually true. The draft contract that Bai compiled later was a thick stack, giving you a headache. You rubbed your temples and said, "It's more than I imagined."
Bai subtly indicated that this was only a part of the draft, and the rest of the draft was in another room.
Sigh, you sighed, but fortunately you have such a capable assistant as Bai, who has reduced your workload by more than half.
During this time, Kabuto the Pharmacist would occasionally come to help. Because you didn't quite trust him, the tasks you assigned him were mostly low-skilled work, similar to the dirty work that interns encounter when they first start working. But he didn't seem to mind. You just accepted the tasks and completed them well.
He won't complain to you, and he'll even show you a gentle smile every time he sees you, offering you emotional support. Because he's so useful, your attitude towards him improves. Of course, if he tries to take advantage of you even a little, you'll immediately change your attitude.
However, Kabuto Yakushi has been very well-behaved lately, so well-behaved that you once suspected he might have been possessed. One day, you passed by his study and went in for a look. He was still working diligently. It has to be said that the ninjas in this world seem to have no concept of holidays. Kabuto Yakushi, who originally worked for Orochimaru, took a rare break and came to work part-time for you. If this were in your previous life, his resume would be incredibly perfect.
After all, one has internship experience at a large company, and the other has experience as a senior assistant at a previous company.
With both breadth and depth, one can receive many good offers even when the employment situation is not optimistic.
The topic seems to have gone off track. You just happened to be here to check on Kabuto's work progress, and the focus is on the work progress, not Kabuto himself. But the other person seems to have misunderstood you. He even seems a little excited. He said, "Aki, what brings you here?"
To avoid him overthinking, you immediately explained, "Oh, I just came to check on the work progress."
Kabuto let out an "Oh," then rested his chin on his hand and looked at you with a smile. You felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze. Well, although he and Kimimaro are both white-haired, there are obvious differences between white-haired people. Kimimaro is the kind of white-haired person you can leave aside after you've played with him, but the former is the kind of white-haired person you have to stick to all the time after you've played with him.
Is it because he's getting old that he's become so clingy? You wondered.
You said, "Didn't Orochimaru call you back?" What's wrong with Orochimaru? Does he not want his subordinates anymore? Although you did take one of his subordinates in before, you can't take every one of his subordinates.
You don't have that kind of magnanimous spirit.
Kabuto Yakushi said, "Ah...no, Lord Orochimaru probably knows that I'm with you, Aki, right now."
It's like they just dumped a hot potato on you. You purse your lips, and Kabuto says, "By the way, I think that Akatsuki member is leaving. He probably got a new mission, right? Aren't you going to see him off?"
It's rare for him to ask such questions. You said, "He's leaving?" Your information network isn't as extensive as Kabuto's.
It's unclear where Kabuto Yakushi got this information from. Not only in this area, but he's also very well-informed in other areas. This may be related to his previous experience as an intelligence officer. Even though he has retired from intelligence work, he still retains the habit of collecting information.
Kabuto said, "Well, I just observed it by accident. Aki, didn't you know? It seems you don't care much about him." He said this so casually, as if he wanted you to be indifferent to that guy named Deidara.
With so many things to deal with every day, how could you possibly be thorough in everything? Thinking this, you left the study where Kabuto was. Just as Kabuto had said, Deidara was leaving that very night. Before leaving, he specifically sought you out, his expression solemn, as if he were announcing something big to you. You said, "You're leaving?"
Deidara said yes, then asked, "You're not really happy, are you?" As he said this, he was still observing your expression. No, you weren't that happy, you even seemed a little reluctant. Yes, he found the look of reluctance in your eyes, which made him overjoyed. He exclaimed as if he had discovered a new continent, "You're reluctant to part with me! You're reluctant to part with me!"
He was overjoyed, but after a few seconds he coughed, composed himself, and said, "Um... I understand your intentions."
"Speak quickly, my time is very precious." You said, reaching out to poke his forehead. Deidara blinked, covered his forehead, and said, "What are you doing... Never mind, I guess it will be a long time before I can come to see you again after this departure."
"Then what?"
Could this be all he wanted to tell you? You thought it was something important, and this is all? You said with slight disappointment, "Oh, okay, you can go now."
"What a heartless woman," Deidara muttered to himself. He grabbed her wrist again and said, "Before that, before I leave—can't you kiss me one more time?"
After all that buildup, you finally understand his true purpose: he wants a kiss from you.
You couldn't help but find it a little funny that you went to all that trouble just for this. You grabbed his collar, pulled him towards you, and kissed his forehead, cheeks, and finally his lips, making him dizzy and disoriented. You asked, "Is it okay now?"
"Ah... um, that's enough." Not just enough, it's way too much, he thought.
You see him riding on that clay bird, the bird flaps its wings and in the blink of an eye it takes off into the air, and you can see him waving at you with his head down, as if he is calling your name.
Then he gradually flew away, so far away that the dark night swallowed his figure. Only then did you turn your gaze away and look at the distance. Yakushi Kabuto was standing there quietly. If you hadn't looked over, you wouldn't have noticed that there was a person standing there. His gaze was deep and mysterious. When he saw that you had noticed him, he smiled at you and said, "So you still favor him, Aki."
What are they mumbling about?
You ask, "Have you finished your work for today?" When in doubt, ask the other person how their work is going.
Kabuto said, "Well, you don't need to worry about that, Aki. But I'm wondering, when the day comes that I leave, will you treat me the same way?"
It's hard to say. After all, if you kiss him, you feel like he'll return many kisses, making it a truly low-investment, high-return proposition.
"He's just a kid." You thought of Deidara's earlier attack on Kabuto's age and suddenly found it a little funny.
Kabuto the Pharmacist is immune to age issues. He said, "Sigh, I shouldn't be old and faded yet, right?"
The image of you standing in the dark with him discussing what age is considered old and faded is somewhat comical. You might say, "Come on, do we really have to stand here and talk about this?"
Kabuto then realized that something seemed amiss. He silently followed you back to the guest room, still preoccupied with the earlier question. Seeing his silent demeanor, you felt a rare touch of emotion, though it could also be because he was dressed quite beautifully today.
People will always be attracted to beauty, whether it's things or people. You said, "Kuboku, I don't dislike you, it's just that sometimes you seem too petty. Sigh, come here—"
You beckon to him, and you seem to see faint dark circles under his eyes. You guess he's been staying up late these past few days working for you for free. You hold his hand; the skin on his palm is still relatively smooth and delicate. You squeeze his palm and see a scar on it. Since you've never touched his hands before, you naturally didn't notice the scar on his palm. You say, "Can't medical ninjutsu completely heal wounds?"
Kabuto's voice drifted to your ears. He said, "I hadn't learned medical ninjutsu when I left this wound."
"You were very young back then, weren't you?"
"I don't remember. Because I had to be a spy, my identity was all fake. My name was fake, my age was fake, my birthday was fake. It's like I didn't have anything real on me." Kabuto Yakushi calmly recounted his past to you, as if he were telling someone else's story, unfolding entirely from an outsider's perspective.
You said, "But at least you won't be like that now."
The pharmacist paused for a moment and said, "Aki, are you trying to comfort me?"
"Yes, after all, I just said that I don't dislike you."
Kabuto finally showed a genuine smile. You thought for a moment, and realized that he needed a hug rather than a kiss, so you opened your arms and hugged him as if it were the most natural thing in the world, like hugging a kitten or puppy. You patted his back lightly. Kabuto didn't know what to say for a moment. He was silent for a long, long time. His true soul, like a mute soul, seemed to have finally found its voice again from the past.
He rested his head on your shoulder and whispered, "Mingxi... thank you."
"Really? If you really want to thank me, then continue working for me for free. Hmm, I won't pay you. What do you think?" You're really taking this exploitation to the extreme.
"sure."
But Kabuto Yakushi agreed so readily.
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