Chapter 40 I don’t care. Since my heart has chosen you, my reason...
Mrs. Shen had an unshakable habit of reviewing medical books carefully before going to bed. Those notes recording medical skills were often kept under her pillow all year round, and were stained with the faint fragrance of agarwood.
Luo Wan found the medical book lying quietly under the jade pillow.
Every furnishing in this house is a lucid dream carefully woven by Shen Mo, stubbornly maintaining the illusion that Mrs. Shen is still alive.
When she was confirming the authenticity of the medical book, her fingertips suddenly trembled. On each page of the paper, landscape patterns were outlined in very light ink.
At first glance, they appear to be insignificant decorations, but upon closer inspection, one can discover that these landscapes can be combined into a complete painting.
Luo Wan's pupils contracted slightly.
No, this is clearly a precise topographic map!
This is the map of the world that all factions secretly fought over during the Three Kingdoms period! After Jiang Cichen unified the country in his previous life, this map became a guide for ordinary people to travel, but now it is a treasure that can determine the outcome of a war.
The medical book was just a cover. What the rich businessman really wanted was the mysteries hidden in these seemingly random landscape patterns.
Luo Wan hid the medical skills in his arms and left Shen Mo's yard when the wedding banquet had just ended.
The lanterns under the eaves swayed gently in the night breeze.
"I've been waiting for you for a long time. Do you want to go home?"
Suddenly, she heard Pei Shaochuan's voice behind her.
The candlelight was not as bright as when she arrived. Even when the guests had left and everything had returned to calm, she could still see that the young man would always be waiting for her at the end of the crowd, like an eternal lamp.
After leaving the Shen Mansion, Pei Shaochuan looked at her and said softly, "Let's not take the carriage. Why don't you walk with me?"
Luo Wan didn't ask the reason, but just nodded and said okay.
Walking on the long streets of the capital, the early spring night wind is still a bit chilly.
The capital city is still bustling at night, especially now that it is early spring and the ground is warming up, more people are out and about at night.
After walking quietly for a while, Pei Shaochuan suddenly said, "I'm leaving the capital."
The news came so fast that Luo Wan was stunned for a moment before he remembered that he had suggested to Pei Shaochuan that he leave the capital, but he had no such intention at that time. What on earth made him suddenly come up with this idea?
Luo Wan said: "Why do you suddenly want to leave the capital?"
Pei Shaochuan said honestly, "My aunt sent me news from the palace, saying that His Majesty is seriously ill." He looked up at the starry sky, the moonlight casting tiny shadows on his eyelashes. "I'm afraid the capital is about to change. It's best for small people like us to leave as soon as possible. My father is already working on it. I heard from the foreign caravans that there are many new and interesting things on the other side of the ocean. I also want to go and see them."
Ever since Luo Wan learned about the conflict between the Pei and Gu families, she has been worried that the new emperor would ascend the throne and the Gu family would retaliate against the Pei family after becoming powerful. Now that the Pei family has made this decision and chosen to travel across the ocean, it is the best outcome and she can breathe a sigh of relief.
Because she didn't want Pei Shaochuan to die.
She hopes that this simple and kind boy will live well.
Always fearless, always kind, always high-spirited.
Finally, after Luo Wan stared at Pei Shaochuan's profile for a long time, he turned his head, met her eyes, and asked with a smile: "You have someone you like, right?"
This question was too abrupt, but Luo Wan immediately realized that it was what happened during the day that caused Pei Shaochuan to ask this question.
Whenever she meets Chu Lin, she always loses her composure and does things that are beyond her expectations.
It’s hard to explain what the feeling is, but it’s definitely not love or liking.
It's hate.
How could she not hate the person who caused her death?
Luo Wan said: "No."
"Oh..." He nodded thoughtfully, "Then Jiang Cichen misunderstood."
When Luo Wan heard this name, the blood in his body rushed backwards to his brain, and there was a buzzing sound in his ears.
The memory of the dilapidated house during the day is still clear, as if it is playing over and over again in front of my eyes.
She didn't understand how such a look could appear in Jiang Cichen's eyes.
After a pause, Luo Wan asked, "Did he say that I have someone I like?"
Pei Shaochuan said, "You suddenly ran out during the wedding ceremony. When I chased you out, I met Jiang Cichen. He stopped me and told me not to go and humiliate myself. He said that the person you were chasing was the one you liked."
Luo Wan snorted coldly and told Pei Shaochuan not to humiliate himself, but he himself was waiting for me eagerly.
Luo Wan said, "Don't listen to his nonsense. The man I was chasing was my enemy. It's a pity that I didn't catch up with him, otherwise I would have cut him into pieces."
Pei Shaochuan smiled and said, "I don't believe what he said, I only believe what you said."
"Do you believe everything I say?"
"Of course!"
"I'm not Chi Wanwan."
"I don't care."
He repeated word for word with incredible clarity: "I don't care."
"Whether it's Chi Wanwan or Chi Zaozao, I love you, only you. Before you came back, I always complained to my father about why he arranged a marriage for me when I was a child. I had never even met her. How could someone marry someone they had never met? I don't understand."
"Later, you came back, and I climbed over the wall to see you. That day, you were wearing light green clothes. You smiled and asked me if I was just passing by. You said I was attracted to you, but I accepted it because I just liked you, really, really liked you."
"But you always seem indifferent, cold to everyone, and keep people at a distance. There is a lock in your heart that can only be opened by the person who has the key, but that key is in your own hand, and you won't give it to anyone, holding it tightly."
"It wasn't until you hit Gu Sihan that I realized which one was the real you. I thought about it all night and decided that it didn't matter. My heart has chosen you, so my mind should love you too. I'm just curious, can you really like someone? What does it feel like when you like someone?"
The wind started to blow, bringing a slight chill. The lanterns under the eaves were swaying in the wind. The young man still had a smile on his face, but his eyes were dark.
Luo Wan moved her lips. If Pei Shaochuan had seen her in her previous life, he would probably laugh at her and say that she was as stupid as himself.
Luo Wan said, "Didn't you realize? I've been using you from the very beginning. Finding Xu Xuan, entering Hongwenguan, and lifting the house arrest were all uses of you."
Pei Shaochuan said, "I don't care. I don't care if you're Chi Wanwan or not, or if you're using me. I just know that I'm happy to be able to help the girl I love."
The night wind suddenly picked up, bringing with it the chill of early spring. Luo Wan instinctively tried to pull her coat tighter, but the next moment, her outer coat, warm from her body, gently enveloped her.
Pei Shaochuan lowered his head to tie the rope around her neck and said softly, "Come to the ferry to see me off at 9:00 PM in three days."
His tone was surprisingly soft, more like a plea.
Luo Wan said: "You have helped me so much, I must help you too, what do you want?"
She didn't like owing favors to others, so from the very beginning when she started using Pei Shaochuan, she decided to fulfill one of his wishes. She originally planned to tell him before she left the capital, but she didn't expect that he would leave the capital before her, so naturally, that wish had to be put on the agenda.
Pei Shaochuan smiled, his eyes curved into a beautiful arc: "I haven't thought about it yet, I'll ask you for it when I think about it."
The sound of night rain crushes the flowers into the mud.
That night, Luo Wan tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep. The last time he suffered from insomnia was when he first came to the capital.
Mrs. Shen’s death was like a blunt knife, repeatedly cutting her heart.
She turned sideways, a tear slipped across her nose and wet her pillow. Finally, in the dead of night, the suppressed grief finally burst forth, and Luo Wan burst into tears.
She originally thought that as long as Madam Shen was still alive, it would be fine if they never met again. But now even this tiny thought has become a luxury. The woman who gave her the last warmth has already turned into a lonely soul.
That was the only beautiful hope for the world left in her heart, but now it has completely disappeared with her death.
Luo Wan only now understood why Shen Zhiyan was so willing to accept her as a student when she first met him at Hongwenguan. He had recognized her a long time ago.
And how did she treat Shen Zhiyan?
She once put a sword on Shen Zhiyan's neck and threatened Shen Mo with the inner garment embroidered by Mrs. Shen for Shen Zhiyan.
The next day, Tangli was frightened by Luo Wan's red and swollen eyes. She hurriedly asked what was wrong and brought hot water for Luo Wan to wash.
"Miss, could it be..." She hesitated, "Do you really like Master Shen?"
"What nonsense." Luo Wan tapped her forehead lightly.
Tang Li pouted: "Tang Li guessed it herself. Yesterday, Master Shen got married, and you suddenly ran out during the ceremony. This morning, your eyes are swollen like this. You must have cried all night last night."
In the west courtyard, the pear trees transplanted years ago are in full bloom.
Luo Wan's gaze fell on the window. The crabapple blossoms, washed by the night rain, bloomed even more brilliantly. The raindrops rolling on the petals looked like someone's undried tears.
Luo Wan walked into the courtyard, looked at the flowers that were still standing after a night of beating, and asked, "Tangli, what kind of person is Madam Shen, Shen Zhiyan's mother?"
Tang Li scratched her head: "Why did you suddenly ask about her, Miss?"
She said lightly, "I heard she died young, so I'm a little curious."
Tangli said: "She did die quite early."
The flowers in Luo Wan's hand slammed into the ground.
Tang Li didn't notice and continued, "It seems that he died on the way to send Master Shen to Xiliang. It is said that he died in the territory of Yun Kingdom." She sighed, "How pitiful, dying in a foreign country, unable to return to his roots."
"Didn't Patriarch Shen bring back Madam Shen's body?"
"It seems that there was no such thing back then. Rumor has it that the coffin used in the initial funeral was empty. As for whether Mrs. Shen's body was found later, I don't know."
After Tangli finished speaking, she saw Luo Wan's face turned pale. She called out "Miss" several times, but there was no response.
Including after returning to the house, Chi Mingshi provoked her outside the yard. She was furious ever since she heard that His Royal Highness the Crown Prince had tried to match Luo Wan and Jiang Cichen at the Poetry and Martial Arts Conference.
She would always "pass by" the West Courtyard every now and then, giving Luo Wan a cold look, mocking her for not being worthy enough to reject Jiang Cichen, and also mocking her for having some self-awareness.
This time, she sarcastically said that the Pei family was going to leave the capital in order to get rid of Luo Wan, the jinx who brought misfortune to her mother and brother.
In the past, Luo Wan would definitely let her know what it meant to bring humiliation upon herself, and let this third young lady come in angry and leave in angry.
But today she just leaned against the window, letting those bad words flow into the west courtyard. She sat by the bed motionless, as if she had lost her soul.
Tangli couldn't afford to offend the young lady and stomped her feet in anger in the room: "Young lady, look at her!"
The wind chimes tinkled under the eaves, startling a tree of pear blossoms. Amidst the falling petals, Luo Wan suddenly remembered the day in his previous life when the Chi Mansion was engulfed in fire. There was no such beautiful spring scenery there.
Luo Wan said calmly, "Let her cherish this day of family reunion."
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