Chapter 2 The Player Becomes a Baby
1.
I was born.
2.
My mom is so pretty.
Hehehehe.
Although according to common sense I can't see my mother clearly, I was just born, so please give me some space.
3.
Although my mother had just given birth, she still looked energetic.
My mother held me in her arms and said to the doctor, "Doctor Li! Doctor Li! Come on, help me pick a fairy-like name for my daughter. Preferably one that suggests immortality!"
The doctor's expression was very subtle: "Ms. Lin, we are only obstetrics and gynecology. Naming children is not within our service scope."
Lin Yao waved his hand calmly: "It's okay, I'll choose it myself. My daughter's name is Lingo."
The doctor was stunned for three seconds and couldn't help asking, "Which '戈' is this '戈'?"
Lin Yao blinked and said seriously, "It's... that cool 'Ge'!"
doctor:"……"
So, my name is Ringo, which literally means the cool kid.
4.
"Little Ringo."
That's what she called me.
I tried to repeat my name after her: Guji.
"Guji!"
Well, it seems that my current language ability is not enough for me to speak words with normal pronunciation.
I guess I can only say that it is written in baby language.
I sighed in a stern manner.
But judging from the way my mother poked my face curiously, I judged that she had no idea that I was sighing.
Well, I'm a baby.
I only know how to eat and sleep, sleep and poop, poop and eat... No! I don't know how to poop and eat.
I am a baby with my own persistence. I won’t play by myself like other babies, I won’t cry randomly, and I won’t try to grab anything within my sight...
absolute.
5.
"Doc! Doc! Why is Ringo grabbing my hair and crying?"
"Uh... I didn't do anything... She just couldn't control herself. I saw she looked disgusted, so I put some on her hand..."
"Alright, alright! Doctor, I promise I'll never play with her again! Seriously!"
6.
I am now a well-known germaphobe.
He cried for two hours because his mother smeared some shit on his hands. No matter how he was comforted, it didn't stop him. He almost cried himself to death.
That night, Lin Yao squatted beside my crib, clasped his hands together, and said sincerely, "Lingo! I promise I will never play with poop again! Really!"
My mother later made countless vows to me, such as "I will never play with shit again", "I will never force you to play with shit again", "I will never put dirty things in your hands again", "Not anywhere else", "I will never play with dirty things again", etc., before she could finally coax me into submission.
I snorted coldly.
Haha, I want to tell everyone that babies are not so easy to mess with.
7.
My mother's name is Lin Yao.
How do I know this? Because she's being told by doctors and nurses every day: Lin Yao! Don't sneak out to eat hot pot, Lin Yao! Don't leave the baby alone in the bed, Lin Yao! Don't eat fried chicken in front of the baby, Lin Yao! Don't...
At first they called her Ms. Lin and Bed Number 2.
Ms. Lin, please don't play with the baby over and over again.
Bed No. 2, don’t let the baby chew the iron railings intentionally!
Ms. Lin, newborn babies cannot walk.
Bed No. 2, babies will not play with swords! Don’t let babies touch such sharp objects!
…
It’s so funny, my mom doesn’t listen at all.
Every time I just respond with a perfunctory “hmm, ahhh, ohhh”.
Lin Yao stopped playing until a nurse who could no longer bear it called her by her full name.
They discovered that calling her by name was more effective, at least providing some minimal deterrent effect on her. From that day on, all the nurses learned to call my mother by her name, using it as a weapon to successfully suppress some of her "outrageous behavior."
At least she won't play tricks on me so blatantly.
At least.
8.
Logically, a healthy newborn like me should have been able to leave long ago. But my mother acted so unreliable that she scared the hospital into keeping us for over a week.
Even after she was discharged from the hospital, many people kept reminding her of this and that, fearing that she would kill me.
Thank you sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles for your concern. I can only say that you are narrow-minded.
9.
Lin Yao is a free wind.
But even the wind will obey the doctor's advice: the baby should not go out for one month.
Lin Yao, the alien Saint Seiya (I guess), a tough guy who could split boulders with his bare hands at the age of five months old, kept me at home for a month with all their instructions and warnings.
She remembered what the doctor said:
"It's not recommended to take newborns out to play too early, especially in the first one to two months after birth. At this stage, the baby's immune system is not yet fully developed and their resistance is weak. Bacteria, viruses, noise and temperature changes in the external environment may affect the baby.
For healthy, full-term babies, it is generally recommended that they can engage in short, low-risk outdoor activities after one month of age."
Lin Yao would carry me to the window every day, like a large dog that had been locked up for a long time, his eyes full of longing for the outside world.
Finally, the "30th day" marked on the calendar arrived.
Lin Yao picked me up and rushed out of the house like an arrow, shouting:
"Ringo! Let's go out on an adventure!"
10.
Okay, mom.
"Guji."
Please forgive my inability to speak, mother. Although my thoughts can soar across the stars and the sea, I can only mumble now.
It doesn't matter, I still have the greatest weapon:
——eyes.
A good eye contact can convey a lot of emotions and information, such as confidence, warmth, determination, concentration, etc. It can make people feel cared for and understood, and can communicate effectively even without speaking.
But definitely not in the way I encouraged my mom when she tried to take me to the Arctic to see the aurora borealis.
I said, absolutely not.
11.
I looked at her in horror, trying to make her understand that while a one-month-old baby could go out for short periods of time, crossing a hemisphere to the North Pole was not an option.
My mother was in a good mood and pinched my face. "How is it? Are you looking forward to it too?"
Thanks, Mom, I decided to get a minor illness worth tens of thousands of dollars.
12.
Arctic, watch the aurora.
That night, the Arctic sky was illuminated by the gorgeous aurora, as if the stars were dancing.
I was wrapped in my mother's arms, with only my two little dark eyes showing, staring at the light in the sky.
"Lingo, look, that's the aurora! Isn't it beautiful?" Lin Yao pointed to the sky excitedly.
I opened my mouth and let out a faint "gurgle".
——I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t speak yet, but what I want to express is: This is so beautiful!
Lin Yao smiled playfully: "Look at your little eyes, they are shining."
That’s right, my eyes are probably just two little light bulbs now.
I'm sorry, Mom. The aurora is beautiful. I forgive you. I've decided not to get sick.
But Lin Yao clearly didn't know what it meant to be merciful. Seeing my sparkling eyes, she raised an eyebrow and pressed on, "Who was that one with a terrified look on his face before coming here? Huh?"
Mom, it's Gunmenase. Wadasi blamed you wrongly. Wadasi didn't know that his body was so strong that he didn't feel cold at all in the Arctic.
I hesitated and said, "Gujiguji, gujiguji."
Although I tried to explain it, unfortunately, now I only have the authority to mumble.
I don’t know if she understood it, I just know that she was very proud of it.
Then, she raised her index and middle fingers, with a ray of spiritual light on her fingertips, and guided this spiritual light to run through my body.
"I said, my daughter is really a genius!"
As she said this, she held me in one hand and jumped down from the top of the mountain.
My mom...seems like an alien + a cultivator...
So cool!
12.
Congo Basin, rainforest adventure.
I went to the hottest place right after the coldest one. I can only say that you are really great, mom. You know my physical fitness better than I do.
13.
The tropical rainforest is really a humid and hot place.
Giant trees, so dense they blot out the sun, their thick, winding roots lingering over the moist earth. Mosses and small plants grow among the roots, revealing a moist, vibrant green. Toucans hop around with their vibrantly colored beaks; tiny, blue poison dart frogs perch on leaves; caimans lurk in the murky water, only their deep green eyes visible; and Amazon leopards dart gracefully between the shadows of trees and vines.
The aerial roots of the banyan tree hang down from the branches like a green waterfall, swaying gently in the wind; the red flowers of the erythrina tree illuminate the dark forest like flames; the pitcher plant quietly opens its lid and emits an alluring aroma; the luminous mushrooms and crystal flowers hide in the dark corners and emit a faint blue light.
The Congo Basin, a vast green lung at the heart of Africa, is home to the world's second-largest tropical rainforest. With abundant rainfall and a hot, humid climate, the forests are home to rare animals and plants, including Congo gorillas and giant elephants. Its winding rivers and dense swamps imbue this land with mystery, vibrant vitality, and yet incredibly fragile.
14.
Lots of mosquitoes.
“Pah.”
Lin Yao snapped her fingers, and an energy shield immediately rose around her that just covered us. Insects such as mosquitoes died before they could get close to us.
I immediately gave her a look of great admiration.
Mommy! My Superman!
She calmly pressed her hand down: "Basic operation, don't do it."
15.
We danced with elephants in the African rainforest, walked with lions, raced with leopards, and snatched bananas from gorillas.
He's simply a big bully.
If these groups could communicate in common, I imagine their language would be filled with various group-specific insults, warning other animals not to approach the area, and possibly sharing our whereabouts in real time on their social networks.
Unfortunately, they don't have it, so they can only be bullied by us miserably.
miserable
Miserable Animals
miserable
17.
Of course, Mommy didn’t forget to guide the spiritual power to circulate in my body again.
Hmm... a lot hotter than the Arctic. But it's lively... full of life!
Then, my super mom took me to Mount Everest without stopping.
On the top of the mountain, a ray of spiritual energy that was extremely colder than ever before was drawn into my body, freezing me to the bone.
My mother laughed heartily while holding me in her arms and jumping in the mountains, stepping on the snow without leaving any trace.
Then we got lost in the snow.
Let me digress here. Why didn’t we get lost in the Arctic, didn’t we get lost in the African rainforest, but got lost on Mount Everest?
Because I actually got lost in the first two locations, but there is an old saying: "Chinese people are like the guiding NPCs of the world, scattered everywhere."
In the Arctic and Congo, people from my mother's hometown have sprung up like bamboo shoots after rain, and they are very enthusiastic about recommending all kinds of things.
Ms. Lin Yao would start by quietly and loudly complaining about the local infrastructure and food, as if she had known them for many years, and then talk to them about her memories of her hometown, and then shake her hands excitedly.
Soon, these fellow villagers will take Ms. Lin Yao to where she should go. Then they will continue to chat with each other enthusiastically.
Basically, all problems will be solved at this moment.
There are occasional exceptions.
But, you know, when someone has both superpowers and money, they can basically solve 99% of the problems.
18.
That's the 1% situation now.
While Ms. Lin Yao was still trudging through the heavy snow, I had already closed my eyes peacefully.
The snow is so white it blinds my eyes.
I climbed on Ms. Lin Yao's back like a grazing Capybara, sucking on her pacifier peacefully.
My grandma, who is on some alien planet right now, please don't worry about my health, because I'm not sure if we can still get out.
19.
Heavy snow, deep mountains, an orphan girl and a widow, a deserted place, and a house that suddenly appeared.
The terrifying buff is maxed out.
If it were another film set, it might be a real-life version of "Snowstorm Manor" or an infinite dungeon.
Too bad this is just an everyday article.
As the protagonist, I am not even one year old yet, and the best I can do is roll my eyes when my mother does whatever she wants.
As the heroine's mother, Ms. Lin Yao is a towering figure, strong and muscular, with powerful arms and a steady gait. Her frame is as imposing as a wall. She has a commanding figure, a dignified appearance, and shoulders like a double-door refrigerator! She stands like a stone tower and runs like a gust of wind. Her eyes gleam like cold stars, her eyebrows arched like painted steel. She's like a demon-slaying lord from heaven, a true Tai Sui deity on earth. She has shoulders big enough for a canary to cling to!
If she punches the earth, it will kneel down and beg her not to kill it.
I'm not kidding.
serious.
20.
Yes, my mom got me lost in Kamar-Taj.
Incredible! There is such a big house near Mount Everest.
——So cool!
twenty one.
Although I don’t know what Ms. Lin Yao talked about with them, they seemed to have a very pleasant conversation.
I was entrusted to the care of a disciple here. She was very careful, fearing that she would crush me.
Don't be afraid, magician. If I break, you can use "Repair" to stick me back together. I'm not afraid of scars, really.
Ah, you said you can't?
All right.
I blew a bubble of contempt at this poor student.
She thought for a while, and excitedly told the people around her that she liked her!
It seems that her baby language level is zero.
Stupid.
twenty two.
We came down from Mount Everest.
From the portal.
A portal that looks like one drawn with a firework stick!
cool--!
twenty three.
Arrived in the Bermuda Triangle.
The blue sea, the vast sky, and the dazzling sunshine.
Are you Hawaii or Bermuda?
twenty four.
I'm sorry, Bermuda, I shouldn't have questioned you.
The bright and beautiful scene was suddenly covered with dark clouds, the wind howled, and the waves hit everything like a huge gray wall, as if to swallow up the intruder.
The sky was shrouded in a hazy mist, and the compass needle spun aimlessly. Deep beneath the ocean, an unknown vortex slowly swirled in the darkness, and the occasional bubbles that emerged seemed like the sighs of the abyss.
This is a place where science and legend intertwine, a natural wonder and a forbidden zone for human exploration. Every gust of wind, every wave, even every ray of sunlight, seems to whisper: "Welcome to the Bermuda Triangle - a world that cannot be fully understood."
Bermuda, you are a moody, aggressive Black Forest cake wrapped in a large intestine.
25.
I dare not eat it for fear of diarrhea.
My mother stuffed a mouthful of salty spiritual power into my mouth.
——Pooh, pooh, pooh!
It tastes terrible.
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