Chapter 22 [Extra] New Year's War
1.
For some people, the Spring Festival is a refreshing competition of recognizing people with everyone coming and going, while for others, it is a battlefield where they fight 800 rounds with their talkative relatives.
Grades, interpersonal relationships, work, salary, house, car, children...it's just the same issues that keep coming back.
The Wayne family is different from other Americans because I am Chinese and I want to celebrate the Spring Festival, so I assume that everyone in my family celebrates the Spring Festival.
Whether it's the Justice League, Young Justice, the Titans, the Teen Titans, or any other organization, no one in our family can be taken away at this time.
After all, the Spring Festival and New Year’s Eve are for family reunions.
2.
Pork and cabbage filling, carrot and beef filling, fresh shrimp and carrot filling, leek, egg and shrimp filling, and scallion and lamb filling.
Because there is Damian who doesn’t eat meat this year, there are also vegetarian three-fresh fillings and mustard greens fillings.
Dick would try to sneak in extras (like cheese) while making his own dumplings, Tim would try to add energy bars, Stephanie would try to add chocolate, and Jason would add garlic chili sauce.
I would pick a coin from each plate. Since Damian was new, I repeated to him what I had told my brothers and sisters: "Put a coin inside the dumpling. Whoever eats it will have good luck for the year. It means wealth and good fortune will come to you."
Damian thought.
I knew what he was trying to do, just like every year everyone tried to wrap their own coins and give them to Bruce. One year Bruce's bowl of dumplings was even filled with coins.
Or let Bruce eat the coins, since he can't even finish a dumpling without interruption.
I didn't think about stopping them.
After all, this was the children's intention, so why should I stop them? Besides, Dick and I would also eat the coins that others cooked specially for us.
At night, we would secretly check the bill to see who had eaten more.
Also, we don't compete with Bruce because he always has the most, which is pointless.
And as time went by, the things they packed became more and more bizarre and strange.
Jason even gave Bruce a broken batarang! It's hard to tell whether it was murder, murder, or murder.
3.
This year we plan to compete to see who eats the least amount of food that contains foreign matter.
Alliances, betrayals, intrigues, and deceptions.
This is - Wayne's dumplings.
"I will never lose again this time!" Dick declared solemnly. He decided to stay in the kitchen tonight just to personally supervise the dumpling-making process.
"Dick, don't overestimate your ability to control yourself." I leaned against the kitchen door, sipping my hot cocoa. "Have you forgotten how Xiaojie threw dumplings with devilish spicy chili peppers into your bowl last year?"
Dick's face froze, and he obviously recalled some unpleasant memories.
Jason looked up from the sofa and gave a meaningful smile. "That's not just my achievement. It's teamwork."
"I remember Steve was in charge of hiding the chili peppers, Tim was in charge of distracting the group, and Kasan was in charge of precise delivery." Barbara commented while adjusting the surveillance footage. "What are you guys planning this time?"
"Top secret plan." Tim pushed up his glasses, the word "confidential" written all over his face. "But I can reveal one thing: this year's theme is 'creativity'."
"Just hearing that makes my scalp tingle." Dick couldn't help but shudder. "I absolutely won't let you succeed again this year!"
"So what are you going to do?" I asked with interest, "Hide the dumplings?"
"I'll be there the whole time." Dick glanced at me. "We must win this time."
"What a stupid game," Damian commented.
Timmy gave him a cold smile and they looked at each other, sparks flashing in their eyes.
Bruce was coming downstairs reading the newspaper. Hearing this, he suddenly interrupted, "How many coins do you think there will be in the dumplings today?"
"Don't eat coins again." I held my forehead. "Last time, you ate seven in one go, and Ah Fu almost took you to the emergency room."
Bruce raised the newspaper to cover his face noncommittally.
A few years ago, I would emphasize to them that fruits, desserts, cheese, and industrial foods cannot be put into dumplings. Book pages, memory cards, teeth, hairpins, etc. cannot be put into dumplings as coins.
Now I don’t care anymore. Forget it. If the child wants to be bound, then let him be bound. Bruce should also be more tolerant. No one will die.
Bruce gave me a cold look.
4.
Dick was in charge of rolling out the dough, and his technique was very skillful. Each dumpling wrapper was as thin as a cicada's wing, slightly thicker at the edges, and as perfect as if it had been pressed out of a factory mold.
"Are you sure these were rolled by hand?" Stephanie looked at Dick suspiciously as she made the dumplings. "Tell me, did you secretly use a machine?"
"Steve, a machine wouldn't make my hands so sore like this." Dick flicked his wrist and winked at Steve. "This is a combination of experience and technology. You can learn it too."
"Stop it, hurry up." Tim rolled his eyes as he quickly and neatly arranged the dumplings on a plate. "My plate is almost full."
"No problem, Tibao!" Dick responded in a long tone, and his hands moved even faster.
Bruce was silently chopping the meat. His knife skills were like an artistic performance.
"Bruce, don't you think the meat will lose its taste if you chop it too finely?" I leaned on the table, watching his precise movements, and couldn't help asking.
"Fine and even dumplings are easier to absorb." Bruce said in a steady voice without looking up. "Also, you won't bite into a thick tendon when eating dumplings."
"Okay, professional chef." I spread my hands and poured the chopped green onions and ginger into the bowl. "But your knife skills still make me feel like you're not chopping meat, but the enemy's face."
Damian snorted coldly, "Father's knife skills are to ensure that every dumpling is made to the best standard. This is a basic quality."
"Oh?" Dick looked up at him teasingly. "What about you, Little D? Where are your 'basic qualities'?"
"My performance is reflected in the perfect seasoning." Damian raised his chin and added a spoonful of soy sauce and a pinch of salt to the bowl of stuffing with a serious look.
5.
Jason stood at the door, an apple in his mouth, lazily surveying the busy scene.
"Jason, do you want to do some work or just stand and eat?" I waved the rolling pin in my hand. "No idlers are welcome here."
“Oh, I’m in charge of supervision,” he mumbled, chewing an apple.
"Shut up, Jason." Barbara walked in and patted him on the back. "Come and help me move some things. If you keep being lazy, you won't get any dumplings today."
Kashan walked to the table, picked up a dumpling wrapper and studied it carefully.
"Kasan, don't use too much force when pinching the edges," Stephanie instructed her. "Look, like this..."
Kashan lowered her head and imitated, and quickly made a dumpling. Although the shape was a little crooked, it was obvious that she had tried very hard.
"That's great, Kashan!" I praised her. "You're much better than Jason. One time, all his dumplings fell apart!"
"Hey!" Jason raised his hands in protest. "That's because you didn't teach me! And I only packed five that time!"
6.
After wrapping the dumplings, I still had no idea how many strange flavors and murderous weapons they had mixed in.
"These dumplings look pretty ordinary." Dick stared at the dumplings on the cutting board, trying to find anything unusual. "Are they okay?"
"Of course, no problem." Ah Fu smiled elegantly, "As long as you trust your family."
I looked at Ah Fu meaningfully - when the old housekeeper said this, his eyes were not innocent at all.
Next we will also make steamed sea bass, four-happiness meatballs, beef and enoki mushroom rolls, steamed eggs with tofu and minced meat, garlic spare ribs, blanched prawns, garlic vermicelli shrimp, corn chicken wings pot, braised pork, garlic abalone, braised pork elbow, cold preserved eggs, cold pig ears, and yam, lotus root and pork ribs soup.
After all, there are a lot of people in our manor, and Bruce's cousin Kate Kane will be here soon. Originally, she said she would bring her girlfriend Maggie Sawyer, but they broke up some time ago, so the plan came to nothing.
She was a very attractive woman, and it would have been better if she hadn't tried to flirt with me on our first meeting.
I still remember the look of regret in her eyes when she found out that she and I were closely related.
7.
Dinner time has finally arrived.
The table was filled with plates of steaming dumplings and various dishes. The dumplings looked normal, but we all knew that there was definitely a "murderous intention" hidden inside.
"Come on, start." Bruce's voice was steady and calm, as if he was issuing some kind of battle order.
"Old rules," I patted the table first, attracting everyone's attention, "if anyone eats anything strange, they must report it truthfully."
"No problem." Jason picked up a dumpling and stared at Tim. "But I think this rule only applies to people with criminal records, like our little genius."
"Huh?" Tim raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to provoke me? You're talking as if you've never done these things."
"Okay, stop arguing," Dick said, smoothing things over. But his smile betrayed a hint of guilt. "Everyone will see who gets hit."
As they were talking, everyone started eating.
Dick and I were like a typhoon, sweeping away everything in our path. We each picked up a plate of dumplings and started eating them frantically.
"Hurry up and find the safest dumplings!" Dick urged, his eyes fixed on the dumplings in the bowl.
"It's useless." Jie Se Ni sat leisurely aside, picking up a dumpling slowly, "You don't even know which one is safe."
“This year we’ve added camouflage technology,” Tim added. “At first glance, all the dumplings look the same.”
"It's over." I looked at the dumplings in the bowl and fell into deep thought.
"Hmm, this filling is good." Kate Kane picked up a dumpling, took a bite, and nodded. "Pork and green onions, a classic."
"Me too." Barbara bit into the dumplings and savored them carefully. "It seems like everyone's cooking skills have improved."
Damian's bowl was the only one that was entirely vegetarian, so it was easy to watch. He stared at the vegetarian filling with sharp eyes from the moment it was put into the pot to the moment it was taken out, not missing a single shot.
But even so, he ate very carefully.
He knew that everyone in this family was watching covetously.
"What the hell!" Dick's voice suddenly came from the other side. He bit into a dumpling, and a green, unknown substance emerged from it. "What is this? Mustard?!"
"Wow, great start." Jason laughed his ass off. "I didn't expect you to be the first, Dick."
"I told you bastards you wouldn't let me go!" Dick covered his mouth with a ferocious expression, "It's too spicy!"
"Who told you to steal Kasan's dumplings?" Tim added slowly, "She marked them specially."
8.
This "dumpling war" quickly became more intense.
"Oh my god, what's that smell?" Barbara frowned and put a dumpling back on the plate. "Is this stinky tofu? Who did this?"
"Don't look at me, I haven't touched the stinky tofu at all." Stephanie raised her hands. "I think it smells delicious, but obviously you don't."
"Who made these fish dumplings?" Bruce suddenly asked, holding up a dumpling with a blank expression. "There's a whole dried fish inside."
"Isn't dried fish a very common snack?" Jason spread his hands innocently. "Can this be considered strange?"
"Bruce, you can't be so picky with a child," I said seriously, "even though you're eating like you're investigating a crime."
"Okay." Bruce put down his chopsticks, "Then continue."
9.
In this chaotic "dumpling experiment," everyone got infected at least once.
Tim ate mustard, cream, and bit into a durian-filled candy dumpling. Although he tried to remain calm, the subtle expression on his face betrayed him; everyone was very nice to Damian, and he didn't get any meat, only chili peppers, wool, and filaments; Kate, on the other hand, remained calm about the strange-shaped dumplings and ate them with relish.
After eating apple seeds and ketchup, Jason bit into a dumpling with kiwi fruit mixed in the filling. He was stunned for three full seconds.
"That's unscientific!" He pointed at the plate angrily. "Who put the fruit in there?"
"Me." Kashan blinked with an innocent expression.
"You bastard!" Jason jumped up in anger. "Who taught you that fruit can't be used as dumpling filling?"
"I taught you that." Stephanie raised her hand. "Why not? Sweet ones are delicious too."
"I've long given up trying to convince them what to fill in dumplings." I sighed, looking at the mess on the table. "But are you here to eat, or to have fun?"
"Stop complaining." Bruce said suddenly, "At least I haven't eaten the coin dumplings this year."
After saying that, he picked up a dumpling and calmly took a bite - the next second, he silently spat out a coin from his mouth.
“…” We were collectively speechless for three seconds.
"Bruce, it looks like you're the lucky star this year." I couldn't help but smile. "I just wonder how many you'll get?"
10.
Although everyone was laughing and crying while eating, the meal was undoubtedly full of laughter.
By the end, our plates were empty, and only scattered chopsticks and unprocessed "trophies" were left on the table.
"So, who's the winner this year?" Jason wiped his mouth and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Winner?" I smiled and shook my head. "Of course the winner is the dumplings. After all, they managed to deal with all of us."
"That's right." Bruce nodded, "And we will continue next year."
11.
It will continue next year - this sentence, which sounded like the ultimate prophecy, made the whole table fall into a brief meditation.
"Honestly," Dick put down his chopsticks and leaned back in his chair, "I think we can try something different next year, like a dumpling-making competition to see who can make the best and fastest."
"I refuse," Tim said decisively. "You'll definitely cheat by using a machine and then claim you rolled it by hand."
"Hey!" Dick protested. "That's just my technique. How can that be called cheating?"
"Drake, are you jealous of Richard's skill?" Damian raised his eyebrows. He always tried to stand on the other side of Tim when Tim was arguing with anyone.
"I don't understand why I should be jealous of this skill," Timmy replied indifferently. "But you, Damian, are you satisfied with that little spicy girl?"
Damian instantly became furious and jumped up to beat Timmy to death.
They started dodging left and right on the chairs and began the fighting scenes.
Dick, apparently still reveling in Damian's friendliness, began to call out sweetly, "Oh, Little D!"
"I think we could have a competition to see who gets the coin first," Jason interrupted with a sneer. "Bruce will definitely lose anyway."
Bruce raised his head and glanced around calmly, "How about we have a competition to see who can avoid eating the coin?"
"Impossible." I spread my hands. "Bruce, your penny-sucking habit is written into the house rules."
"What family rules?" Kashan tilted her head, looking serious.
"'Every year, Bruce eats the coin in the Wayne family's dumplings.'" Stephanie replied seriously, "That's the family rule."
"I propose eliminating coins next year." Bruce tapped his fork on his plate. "I've already eaten all your coins this time."
"Yeah." Barbara wiped her mouth. "He even didn't let go of Alfu's spare coins. I admire you."
Ah Fu came out of the kitchen with a plate of fruit. "Dear young masters and ladies, it's time for tea. But Master Bruce, I suggest you bring a metal detector with you when you eat dumplings next year. It might be safer."
We all laughed, but Bruce picked up a piece of apple with a calm expression, as if the words just now were not directed at him at all.
The pixels at the corners of his mouth have increased by 5 points today.
12.
After dinner, everyone stayed behind to clean up the table and kitchen.
Kate said she had an appointment with Reagan today and left first.
"Don't forget, we have a dishwasher!" I reminded everyone to avoid another family melee of "whoever washes the dishes will be unlucky."
"The dishwasher can't wash large pots." Jason pointed to the huge steamer in the sink.
"Jason, aren't you good at physical skills? Isn't moving a big pot your specialty?" Dick retorted with a smile.
"Stop talking nonsense." Jason picked up the pot and walked towards the kitchen, tripping Dick as he passed by.
"Okay, everyone, stop making noise," Barbara reminded as she put the chairs back in place. "Hurry up and finish your work so we can go to the movies."
"What are we watching tonight?" Stephanie asked excitedly.
"Afu recommended a new movie." I recalled with a smile, "I think it's about cats."
Damian's eyes lit up and he couldn't help but speed up his movements.
"Cat?" Tim frowned. "Why cat again?"
Damian's eyes, intent on assassinating someone, were already fixed on Timmy's back.
"Because there aren't enough cats in Gotham," I said seriously, "we need to add some cat culture to the screen."
Tim sighed, as if accepting his fate.
Damian smiled and took away the cutlery.
13.
At night in Wayne Manor, the wind howled outside, but the house was warm and cozy. Everyone crowded on the sofa, vying for the best seat, watching the cat running on the screen, and there was another noisy scene.
Damian was holding Alfred the cat in his arms, gently stroking its soft fur, his eyes fixed on the screen. Steve, Cassandra, Barbara, and I were huddled together, each holding a pillow in our arms, and occasionally feeding each other some fruit snacks.
"Hey, don't push me!" Jason, holding a bucket of popcorn, glared at Dick and Tim who were pushing towards him.
"It's not me," Tim said, holding up his hands. "It's Dick who's been pushing his way in!"
"You think I want to squeeze you?" Dick said unyieldingly, "Jason took up two seats!"
"Okay, stop arguing." Bruce said calmly, "The movie has started."
Ah Fu put down a pot of tea next to him and then sat down.
The whole room suddenly became quiet, with only the cat's meow and cheerful music echoing in my ears.
Everything tonight seemed like a rare dream in the city of Gotham, simple, warm, and full of love.
This is not the first time and it won't be the last.
Happy New Year!
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