No need to identify, just follow God's will, always choose according to my heart
"Yes, we are very loving. But this love is mixed with many other things, like a shackle that ties me tightly. Even I try hard to tell myself that we are very loving. Because if I don't struggle, I won't know that there are shackles on my body, and if I don't struggle, I won't feel pain!" Ren Hongyi said emotionally.
"Is there anything that can tie you down? I remember Xiaoyue told me that you almost..."
"Yes, oftentimes death isn't the scariest thing; facing death is more terrifying. Because I owe her! Even when Elder Qiu advised me back then, I was able to finally stop because I remembered I still owed her!"
"What do you owe her?"
"I owe her a favor!" Ren Hongyi poured himself another drink. His eyes were now bloodshot, but his gaze remained clear. He glanced at Cheng Qing, then lowered his head to stare at the empty glass dangling aimlessly in his hand, slowly recalling a past event. "After graduating from university, I worked for a while at a research institute. She was my colleague, the only female colleague. She always cared about me and took good care of me. At first, I didn't take it seriously, thinking it was just normal concern between colleagues. Until one day, I got into big trouble. I mistakenly saved confidential data to the cloud. Fortunately, my supervisor discovered it in time and took appropriate measures, preventing any losses. However, it involved a leak, and I was just an intern at the time, so I might have been fired directly."
While Ren Hongyi was pouring his wine, Cheng Qing asked, "Did she take it down for you?"
After Ren Hongyi and Cheng Qing finished their next drink, they confirmed, "Yes. She said she'd wanted to resign for a long time, and a disciplinary action was fine. I was just entering the workforce at the time, and I needed this job more from both a scientific research perspective and a social reality perspective. Many of our company's current ideas and structures were developed during that time."
"And then she was fired?"
"No, because she didn't cause any losses, her boss gave her a serious warning. But the punishment was also very severe: no promotion or salary increase for two years. As an apology, I treated her to a meal and gave her gifts, and after a few interactions, we got together..."
"So you feel like you owe her a favor?"
"This was just one of the reasons. After we got together, she silently depended on me, obeyed me, and supported me in all the trivial matters in life. It made me feel like I owed her too much, so I told her that I would never break up with her in this life."
Cheng Qing interjected, "I think I can understand."
"No, it's not just that..." Ren Hongyi denied, "Some time ago, by chance, I found a torn contract at home. After piecing it together, I realized that she knew very well that I wanted to do something stupid during that time. She even hired someone to follow me secretly to ensure my safety. For the sake of my self-esteem, she didn't say a word..."
"Ah?" Cheng Qing was shocked. After a moment's pause, he exclaimed, "She is great, very remarkable."
"Ah..." A sigh brought out a lot of helplessness, "So my relationship and my marriage have been full of gratitude from the beginning to the end!"
Cheng Qing asked tentatively: "Isn't this the love you want?"
Now Ren Hongyi was completely relieved. "Without ideological sympathy, without the passion of fighting side by side, I always felt that this love lacked soul. It's like, just like those revolutionary patriots in the early Republic of China, who had a wife arranged by their parents and matchmaker, who could stay at home and serve their parents-in-law for life. But this was not love after all, it was just the bitter fruit of fate's trick."
Facing Ren Hongyi's direct gaze, Cheng Qing raised his glass and said, "I understand!"
The drink they drank together seemed to completely detonate the alcohol accumulated in Cheng Qing's body, exploding all her reserve. She slowly exhaled the alcohol, "Emotions are the most unpredictable in this world. Isn't it the same for me?"
"Oh? Can you tell me about it?"
"I have a boyfriend, a college classmate. Ever since I was little, I've always thought I should like a man who's strong, confident, and even a little domineering. I'm obsessed with that kind of gentleness that comes from looking down on the world. But my boyfriend is completely different from what I expected. He's even a bit effeminate."
"That……?"
"Who can say what fate has done to trick you?" Under the influence of alcohol, Cheng Qing made that bitter smile look charming.
"So you accept your fate?"
"Is there no way? As we always say when investing, the optimal is just the goal, the suboptimal is the reality. I was lucky to have encountered the optimal, but unfortunately I didn't encounter it at the right time."
"how?"
"When I met him, I had a boyfriend and he was married. I didn't have the courage to face my own selfishness, and he had even more to bear, so he had even less courage." Cheng Qing paused, downed a glass of wine, and then mustered up the courage to continue, "Sometimes I think, regardless of morality and shame, even if we had a fleeting romance, it wouldn't hurt anyone and would be a memory worth warming for a lifetime."
Cheng Qing didn't dare to look up after she finished speaking, but she could hear the heavy breathing coming from the other side...
Xue Jiuyue couldn't remain calm after hearing such explosive content. "Wow, you too...did you two get a room later?"
"No, I'm leaving!"
"Why?"
"I said that on purpose just to verify whether our previous judgment was correct."
"Are you pretending to be drunk again?"
Cheng Qing said embarrassedly: "It's all thanks to you. I always drink with you in the dormitory when I have nothing to do. Now it's hard to get drunk."
"Are you saying he planned everything? He picked the hotel specifically and let you know he'd booked a room. After everything was ready, he deliberately told you about his so-called relationship history, trying to show that he couldn't get a divorce, revealing that he wasn't satisfied with the relationship, and subtly expressing his affection for you. And then he just waited for you to fall into his trap, and he did it reluctantly and half-heartedly? Even if there were any mistakes along the way, in the end, you can just say it was just a drunken mistake."
"Yes, that's why I told him I have a boyfriend and we can't break up. This way I dispelled his worry that I would destroy his marriage. When I told him that I did have such thoughts before, he showed his true colors. What a scumbag!" Cheng Qing said with deep disdain.
"He's not that bad, right? If the speculation is true, he's so deliberate and still stubbornly defends the bottom line of marriage. He still has some conscience!"
"Conscience?" Cheng Qing was still as hateful as ever. "Don't even think about it! Why can he cheat? Cheating once is not cheating? His wife has done so much for him, and he can cheat on her behind her back? Cheating without her knowing is not cheating? Where is his conscience?"
"Then didn't you want to throw yourself into his arms before? You knew he had a family!"
Xue Jiuyue's words left Cheng Qing speechless, and then he analyzed, "Maybe what he said is true. I've met his wife, and I feel she's quite scheming. Even if she's secretly nice to you, she'll let you know. So Ren Hongyi's family life must be very stressful. Of course, these are all our speculations, just probabilities. Including you and Ren Hongyi. After all, nothing happened between you two in the end. You can't be convicted based on your thoughts. How do you know if he will quietly retreat when the enemy is at the gate? A small probability is not impossible."
"Besides leveling up, have you ever played Landlord?" Cheng Qing's question came out of nowhere, inexplicably.
"I've played it!"
"Many things, like the cards in your opponent's hand, are indeed based on probability and are just guesswork. But we can't avoid making choices just because there are probabilities. We must make the most advantageous choice and leave the probability to fate. This is what it means to do one's best and then accept fate."
Xue Jiuyue seemed to understand something. "Just like now, Ren Hongyi must be a scumbag, which is the best choice?"
"Yes! He thinks he's just being responsible and grateful, but isn't that actually love? He himself might not even know or admit it, but love might just be a cover for his inner desire to cheat! Besides, I don't care if he's a scumbag or not, I have to face my conscience. His wife loves him very much."
"This is my best friend. Living with guilt will never bring happiness." Xue Jiuyue was sincerely happy.
Cheng Qing suddenly said something shocking, "Actually, these are all hindsight!"
"What? Is there any other change?"
"No, what I mean is that I can calmly analyze the fundamental reasons for these things because of Zeng Le! I have you to thank for that."
Finally, a new topic came up. Xue Jiuyue was filled with curiosity. "You've thanked me with all your words, but how far has it progressed?"
"It's clear we're in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship! He seemed a bit effeminate, but after getting to know him better, I discovered he's quite thoughtful, decisive, and considerate. Plus, we're old classmates who know each other well, so being together makes us feel very secure and stable."
"What does it feel like?" Xue Jiuyue blushed.
"Uh..." Cheng Qing hesitated, "We haven't reached the final step yet."
"Why? Wait until you get married? That's not your style..."
"He has some psychological problems, which is why he broke up with his girlfriend after just a few days. He's been receiving treatment and is getting much better." Cheng Qing finally revealed the real reason. "Isn't your sweetheart a psychologist? Introduce him to Zeng Le."
"This..." Xue Jiuyue felt heartbroken. After hesitating for a while, she finally confessed the whole story between her and Liu Che to Cheng Qing. However, she just said that she went to see Liu Che because she always suffered from insomnia.
After listening to Xue Jiuyue's story, Cheng Qing frowned and said, "You think too much and are indecisive! Since you know you like it, go for it! Everything is a probability, but you have to make a move and can't always wait for others to make a move. What if neither of you wants to make a move and you're just stuck like this?"
Cheng Qing's words left Xue Jiuyue with a revelation like the morning bell and evening drum, but it just stayed in his heart and fermented slowly.
Today was her birthday, and the girl had deliberately worn a red dress, making the golden sunlight seem like a mere backdrop. But he had disappeared all day, saying he was busy with work and would see her at the café that evening. Without appreciation, even the brightest colors gradually fade.
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