Talking about poetry and reminiscing about the past, taking out fruits and expressing deep feelings
While chatting while driving, Xue Jiuyue took the initiative to bring up a topic: "Xiao Ming, there was a male customer in my coffee shop who wanted to commit suicide before."
"So serious? What's so serious? What's more important than life?"
"I thought so too. It just so happened that my godfather was in the store at the time. I persuaded him to come back and helped him set up a company. Now his business is booming. A few days ago, he and his wife came to the store to thank me."
"Thank you? It seems Xiao Shi has made an invaluable contribution!"
"Hey, that's not the point! What I want to tell you is that they said a lot when they came to thank me, but what moved me the most was the love between them!"
"Love that can move you shows that the couple has a deep bond. Why would they still want to commit suicide if they can't untie the knot?"
"Because the man never told his family about his situation. He took on everything on his own! He said he felt like a burden and wanted to end it all. At least he could let his wife have her own life and not be dragged into the abyss by him."
"Um……"
Before Liu Che could express his opinion, Xue Jiuyue expressed her opinion, "Actually, his idea is completely wrong..." Before she could finish her words, she ran into a traffic light. While waiting for the red light, she turned her head to look at Liu Che and repeated what Jiang Xuehao had said at that time, "At that time, his wife looked at him affectionately and said: 'It doesn't matter if you have me in your heart, even if you are against the whole world, I will be your last resort, standing behind you to block the arrows from behind.'"
Liu Che smiled gently, as if he understood something. "There's no right or wrong in love. His wife's love is great and touching! But if he hadn't happened to meet you, and if he hadn't met Elder Qiu, and brought him back to life, then his one-man disaster could have become a disaster for both of them. Rather than living together in misery, it's better to forget each other. Isn't love about allowing beauty to continue as long as possible?"
"Xiao Ming, you, you are too realistic!" Xue Jiuyue didn't know how to refute for a moment.
"Life isn't just about feelings. Life is first and foremost about reality, and this reality can transform all beauty. Unfortunately, this transformation isn't always good, just like not all waiting leads to fine wine. Growing old together is the most romantic thing, and companionship is indeed the most enduring confession of love, but this is all based on a certain material foundation. The years are peaceful because someone is carrying the burden forward. If it's no longer beautiful, why persist? Love, life, should be beautiful! If it's no longer beautiful, is it just living for the sake of living, persisting for the sake of persisting, and possessing for the sake of possessing?"
What Liu Che said was actually Xue Jiuyue's previous views, some of which were even words Xue Jiuyue had said before, but her focus was not here at the moment, because she wanted to deny her previous self.
"Beauty itself is subject to change. Isn't perseverance beautiful? Isn't enduring humiliation beautiful? What's honey to me may be poison to others. What I perceive as beautiful may not necessarily be accepted or accepted by the other person. That man thinks that if he cuts ties with the world, it will be free and easy, proud, and tragic. He feels that letting go of his wife is romantic and loving. He will certainly find all of this beautiful, but will his wife find it beautiful? It will be heartbreaking, a world-destroying pain!"
“Time will always heal all wounds, and the sun will always shine on the way forward!”
Liu Che's words sounded all too familiar to Xue Jiuyue. Whether it was the clear voice in the dreamlike scenes or the chatter in the idle chatter, they had all said similar things before.
Xue Jiuyue's strong curiosity made her no longer dwell on the current love view. "Xiao Ming, you like poetry, do you write it yourself?"
"Why did you suddenly think of this?"
"Talking about love naturally brings to mind poetry, and our discussion of 'The depth of eyebrows is inextricable,' so I'm asking you this."
"I write occasionally, but my level is limited. I can't compose poetry on the spot. The most I can do is two lines in three years. I feel ashamed before I even recite them."
As if afraid that Xue Jiuyue would test him on his poetry, Liu Che immediately changed Jia Dao's poem "Two lines in three years, a single recitation brings tears to my eyes" to be self-deprecating. This made Xue Jiuyue laugh and say, "You're a grown man, and you're still shy. Don't worry, I won't ask you to compose a poem on the spot. Do you have any old poems that I can appreciate?"
"Oh, about that. Let me think, yeah, there really is such a poem, but I can only write graceful lyrics. Because I feel that I have no great ambitions, and my life experiences have not been magnificent or full of wars and battles. If I force myself to write bold lyrics, it would be another form of 'forced sorrow'."
"Recite it and listen to it. I also prefer graceful lyrics."
"The ci tune is "Tanpo Huanxisha",
Flowers drift in front of the curtain, leaves turn to dust, endless smoke and mist end at dusk. I hide my face and curl up on my lonely pillow, thinking of whom!
The shadow of the lamp sways a thousand-mile dream, and the moon marks a return of spring. How many lingering feelings are old, and the tears are still new!
Xue Jiuyue praised it highly after hearing it. "I didn't expect you to write so well, especially the second stanza. 'The lamplight sways a thousand-mile dream, the moon marks a spring that returns', it's a stroke of genius. Have you written it before? The last two lines, how much lingering feelings are old, tears are still fresh, the aftertaste is also long-lasting."
When it comes to the last two sentences, Xue Jiuyue suddenly finds that the style and artistic conception of this poem are very similar to those of "Spit Staring'er", and they are exactly the same.
“When I was in college…”
Before Liu Che finished speaking, Xue Jiuyue pulled the car over, looked at Liu Che and asked, "Xiao Ming? Are you chatting online or playing cards?"
Liu Che smoothed his hair and said calmly, "I do, but...why do you always ask this?"
"I was playing cards online and met an online friend. During the chat, I found out that he understands psychology and likes poetry. I've read two poems he wrote and they are very similar to this one in terms of both artistic conception and style. Especially the last two lines. In one of his poems, 'Quail Sky', he wrote 'New hatreds are still the same as the old ones', and in another poem, 'Tan Po Huan Xi Sha', he wrote 'New sorrows and old hatreds are heavy', which are very similar to your last two lines." This time, Xue Jiuyue did not hide anything and told everything, but she looked at Liu Che intently while speaking.
"You suspect it was me?" Liu Che smiled gently, "But I really can't do it, otherwise I would have played games with you a long time ago."
"It's not that I doubt it, it's that I hope it's you." Xue Jiuyue corrected seriously, "I also think it's impossible, but there are too many coincidences..."
"It's quite possible that your netizen also studied psychology, so it's normal that many of his views are similar to mine. As for similar artistic conception in poetry, that's extremely common, especially in graceful ci. And it's not uncommon for later generations to incorporate the artistic conception of famous lines from their predecessors into their own works. As for famous lines like "new sorrows and old hatreds," there are countless of them, like Su Dongpo's 'In vain I stir up new sorrows to overwhelm old sorrows,' Liu Yong's 'New sorrows and old hatreds follow one after another,' Fan Chengda's 'New joys are no match for old sorrows, but instead add new sorrows to my return,' and Xin Qiji's 'Old hatreds flow endlessly along the spring river, new hatreds pile up like clouds and mountains.' You see, the meanings are all very similar! You should know all of this, but it's ignored as soon as you became suspicious. Did that netizen write his poem on the spot, or did he write it in the past? I wrote this one with my roommate when I was in college."
Liu Che's reasons were very sufficient, and he also pointed out intentionally or unintentionally that the poems of "Spit Star" were either written at the request of Xue Jiuyue or written to suit the occasion.
Xue Jiuyue put aside her suspicions and shifted her interest. "When you were in college? The lyrics sound like they were written for a lover. Did you suffer a breakup at that time?"
"No, this poem of mine is just like the one we talked about before, 'A Recent Examination Submitted to Zhang Shuibu', and the famous 'Returning Your Pearl with Tears'. It seems to be about love, but it is not. At that time, I was blind and fell into endless darkness. All the scenery was only in my imagination, memories and dreams. The hope of recovery was very slim, so this hatred has lasted forever." Liu Che's voice was low, which showed how unforgettable the pain of those days was.
"It's okay, Xiao Ming. Not being able to see means you'll suffer less from hallucinations. Whether it's your limbs or your five senses, they're all for the purpose of making our lives better, not life itself. The goal is to live happily, and it has nothing to do with whether you can see or not. Don't you feel happy now?"
"Very happy..."
The two chatted and soon arrived at the nursing home. Everything was the same as before, as if time had not yet passed. The activities arranged by Liu Che were similar to last time, but Xue Jiuyue felt more harmonious with the elderly and had a deeper concern in her heart.
As soon as Ji Lan entered the room, she saw Xue Jiuyue. She stood up excitedly, "Ni'er..."
She spoke in dialect again, but Xue Jiuyue still rushed forward and took her hand, "Mom, I'm here to see you!"
"I missed you so much! Come, come, sit down!" Aunt Ji spoke back to Mandarin. She took Xue Jiuyue's hand and sat down on the bed, then called Liu Che, "Che'er, you sit down too..."
After Aunt Ji took Xue Jiuyue by the hand and asked about her well-being, she suddenly stood up and laboriously took out a large bag of various fruits from the refrigerator, "Ni'er, eat them. Pick the ones you like. Mom doesn't have much for you, just these delicious ones, which I have been saving for you."
Xue Jiuyue discovered that the bunch of imperial bananas in the bag had small black spots on them, and it seemed that they had been stored for quite some time.
Xue Jiuyue's nose felt sore and she almost couldn't hold back her tears. She quickly lowered her head and opened a banana and handed it to Aunt Ji, but Aunt Ji insisted that she eat first.
After eating the fruit, Xue Jiuyue helped Aunt Ji sort out the big bag, only to find that there were not only fruits in it, but also cordyceps, sea cucumbers, ginseng, deer antlers and other various supplements.
"Mom, you have a lot of good things here, you must remember to eat them, don't let them go bad!"
"I won't eat it. I'm too ashamed to eat that damn old man's food. I'm too ashamed to eat it..." Aunt Ji started crying again, crying and complaining: "He, he is dead, he didn't even forgive me, why did he come to see me...Xing'er, my Ni'er, you have forgiven your mother, right?"
"Mom, don't cry. Don't worry, I forgive you! Look, I'm here to see you again. If you cry again, I'll leave." Xue Jiuyue cooperated with Aunt Ji.
"Okay, okay, Mom won't cry, won't cry..." Aunt Ji forced a smile, holding back tears. Her left hand gently caressed Xue Jiuyue's hand, which was placed in her right palm. If she pressed too hard, she was afraid it would hurt Xue Jiuyue; if she pressed too lightly, she was afraid the happiness before her eyes would slip away. All the kindness of a mother was fully reflected in this trembling caress. A feeling of being wrapped in love spread from the back of her hand to Xue Jiuyue's heart, nourishing the dryness, cracks, and scars.
"Mom, didn't I ask you to call me? Why didn't you call me? I wanted to call you but I was afraid you were resting." Xue Jiuyue was telling the truth. She usually got the phone at night.
"Xiao Liu, the administrator, said that calling you would affect your work and annoy you, and you would stop coming to see me. So I resisted the urge to call. I'm very obedient!"
Xue Jiuyue couldn't hold back her tears any longer. She wiped her tears with one hand, then took Aunt Ji's hand and placed it on her already hot face. She choked with sobs and said softly, "Mom, I won't stop coming to see you. I'll come when I'm free. Let's agree to call each other every day, okay?"
Aunt Ji pulled her hand away nervously. "No, you have to work. I don't want to be a burden to you. Call me whenever you remember. I'll be here no matter how late it is. I'm free. I'll be waiting for your call anytime, okay, Ni'er?"
"Okay, Mom, I'll call you when I'm free!"
"Really?" Aunt Ji looked over with her big eyes filled with tears.
Xue Jiuyue saw through the shimmering water the longing for life, the confusion of memories, and layers of shadows resembling herself. She blurted out, "Really? Pinky!"
"Pink!" Aunt Ji stretched out her right pinky finger and hooked it with Xue Jiuyue's pinky finger. "Pink, hang yourself, and don't change for a hundred years..."
The two of them recited the familiar nursery rhyme together, but Aunt Ji reverted to her dialect. When the ceremony was over, Xue Jiuyue withdrew her fingers, but Aunt Ji raised her hand and scratched the tip of her nose. The action was so practiced, as if it were natural.
This gentle gesture instantly brought Xue Jiuyue to tears. It was a strange feeling, like an unexpected encounter, a stirring of emotions, like a long-lost reunion. It felt like they had experienced this before, yet nothing remained except tears.
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