(Note: This chapter is at the end of the volume and is quite stream-of-consciousness. Feel free to skip it if you don't want to read it.)
Jiang Ling fell into a void. There was no light, no up or down. Astronauts might call it weightless space, but it wasn't like that. If this place were weightless, she could twist her body to change her flight attitude, but in this space, she couldn't do that.
She couldn't control her body, which continued to sink. It was like she was a cultivator seeking immortality. Her body seemed a cage, still holding her soul within. Freedom, in a sense, was an illusion. No one could truly be free. The vast majority of people were either caged or trapped in a larger cage. And for the few who achieved true freedom, freedom was usually the only thing left to speak of.
“Ding Dong~”
When Jiang Ling was about to give up struggling and accept her fate, she heard a voice.
“Ding Dong~”
It was the same sound again. This time she heard it clearly: it was the crisp sound of water dripping onto a metal plate.
“Ding Dong~”
It was the same sound, but it was so harsh in the silence. Jiang Ling was a little annoyed. She tried to break free. She wanted to at least take a look at the source of the sound. But she couldn't do it. She continued to sink.
“Ding Dong~”
This sound was so annoying, like it had its eye on her. It was like a feral kitten stalking the roadside, meowing when you ignored it, then disappearing into the bushes the moment you tried to turn away. It was a tingling sensation, like something was there, but you couldn't find it. And to make matters worse, you couldn't even turn over!
“Ding Dong~”
It persisted, still making the same sound from somewhere just as far away from you. Jiang Ling tried to cover her ears, but her hands were unable to control themselves. She must be dead, or in some horrible subspace, perhaps the domain of the Great Demon of Sexual Abuse. She didn't want her soul to be kicked around like a ball by those demons and monsters. She was going crazy now. "I want to go back!" she screamed in her mind, not knowing where she could return to.
If you were from Country Z, you'd most likely want to return to a place of comfort. Back home, back home, back to your mother's arms, or perhaps even the warmth of her womb. But Jiang Ling hadn't figured out where she could return to. She had nowhere to go. Someone who didn't exist in the world, someone without a past, would ultimately belong to this void. She was already at home.
“Ding Dong~”
Jiang Ling has given up controlling herself. If changing herself is as difficult as changing the world, why not change the world?
The next moment, she felt gravity, and she landed gently on something. At the same time, she could feel her body, and she climbed up from that surface. "We" would call it "the surface" for now, because it was just like everywhere else. Jiang Ling found herself standing in a void. The ground didn't exist, or rather, there was only up and down, with no front, back, left, or right. Like a wall of air without a texture loaded, there was also a "Jiang Ling" on the other side of this ground.
She began to search for an exit from this space. Beneath the "surface," another her also began to search for an exit. A blind person in darkness is always fearless. This isn't foolishness or bravery; it's simply a lack of understanding of this place.
“Ding Dong~”
She heard the sound again, but this time it was everywhere. By "I," she meant she couldn't place its source; it even felt like she was making it herself. She paused, needing to continue gathering information.
“Ding Dong~”
Still, she heard that voice coming from where she was.
"Why am I leaking?" She looked at herself.
The next moment, she fell into some bottomless abyss. Just like at the beginning, in this space, she couldn't control herself.
After a brief moment of bewilderment, Jiang Ling realized that this space was himself. Perhaps the person "falling" in the space was his subconscious. With this thought, the figure in the space vanished, replaced by two balls of light.
In the next moment, the space was evenly divided into two halves, one half was pure white space, and the other half was pure black space. There was a black light ball in the pure white space, and the other side was white.
She realized that both of these balls of light were her. Although they were completely different, they were also completely identical. The difference was their gender and the era they lived in, but the similarity was that they were both disconnected from the world, and their way of dealing with things was detached.
"You're here!" she heard the other him speaking to her.
She thought for a moment, and then the figure opposite her understood her thoughts: "Why can't I come?"
"Hahaha~ Of course you can! You are me and I am you."
"I am you, but I am not you yet!"
"Will you accept me?"
She was silent. Historical materialism told her that whether she accepted her past or not, she had to acknowledge it. It was this history that made us who we are today, and we are creating the history of future generations.
"Will my future still be me?" she wondered.
"Hahaha~ You are not you, and I am not me!"
"You were me once, but I won't be you again!"
"Then will you accept me?"
She pondered for a moment, and now she understood somewhat what the great man had said: she had never given up on her past. Only by respecting history could one respect the future.
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