Chapter 106: The Old Campus Encourages Him to Let Go of Everything and Rest in Peace. ...
Driven by a desire to find out what was inside the cocoon, Xue Chao became somewhat eccentric and single-minded, coldly staring at his destination and coldly rushing towards it, while everything else vanished like smoke.
Indeed, I had even more absurd thoughts—if the morpho butterfly could take the deceased back to a dream woven from the past, would Xue Chao, as the first person to die, also have a “desire to return”?
Inside the cocoon was an undeveloped morpho butterfly, capable of carrying the deceased across death and into dreams. He himself was also a morpho butterfly, but after only a moment's thought, it came true.
Outside the window, the night sky was normal, with the moon hanging in the sky, the lawn was green, the lake was calm, the buildings were quiet, and the wind was a little cool, blowing softly through the corridor.
The campus at night was eerily quiet, yet compared to its previous chaotic state, this unease was reassuring; the ghostly night even had a touch of gentleness.
In his opinion, Xue Chao wasn't very interested in his role. He seemed mysterious, but he was just a clue-based character who catered to the host's identity, responsible for connecting the dots and highlighting the ingenuity of the plot. He wasn't actually part of the main storyline.
Even if he could glean a glimpse of the protagonist's personality from behind-the-scenes footage, he would still find it annoying because it resembled his past self, making him feel frustrated and annoyed.
However, this is "his" dream, a record of "his" memories. He is the protagonist, so I always have to read a sentence or two about him.
The books and notes in the desk were arranged casually, but there was no problem finding the books or making a mess. He remembered that later he gave them to "Pu Fengchun". The desk was also clean and tidy, without any signs of boredom during class. He was like an ordinary male high school student, without much "personality" worth paying attention to.
But he knew in his heart that it definitely existed. All dreams have a theme; hidden within their bizarre and fantastical nature are the protagonist's heart-wrenching desires. Otherwise, how could they collapse and cause the dream's owner to break down?
He found a photo album in a girl's schoolbag. It was full of photos of her friends, including one of "Xue Chao". "Xue Chao" had more friends than he had imagined. There were photos of him with different friends, as well as several group photos of different people. Although "he" didn't seem enthusiastic in the photos and was sometimes impatient, the photos were mostly blurry, so he let his friends take them.
This is different from him. He has no friends. All relationships can be addressed by job title, and those further away are just complete strangers. He might just gloss over "beautiful woman" or "handsome man," but he's too lazy to form intimate relationships based on emotions, like "lover" or "friend."
He looked at himself in the photos, blending in with these energetic or quiet people, like watching girls in a mirror making all sorts of vivid expressions with his face, something he couldn't understand.
No wonder he needed a resonator; he felt a connection, but it wasn't a perfect match. Ultimately, he was playing someone else.
He walked out with the photo in his hand, sketching out the image of "Xue Chao" in his mind. One second, "he" had many friends and was surrounded by liveliness; the next second, "he" was staring out the window in a cold, white hospital room, waiting to die. One second, "he" lent books and gave them away, folded butterflies to comfort a crying little girl; the next second, "he" was hiding in the biology lab, his brows furrowed, cultivating morpho butterflies that looked like evil creatures, before sneaking into the morgue in the silent night...
This overlap of contradictions heightened his already heightened vigilance. Such a person's dreams are bound to be a mix of heaven and hell, and he must guard against ghosts that might suddenly appear at any moment.
However, he was wrong. There were no ghosts, the corridors and classrooms were lit up, and there was a group of peaceful people.
In the corridor, there were students getting water after class, and students playing around and going to the bathroom. They all took advantage of the break to come out for some fresh air. The classroom doors were open, and the vitality of living people emanated from them, like the rising sun behind the mountain peak, shattering the cold and thick fog.
The students' laughter echoed out of the classroom. Girls gossiped, boys piled on top of each other, and some even went to visit their friends. Some were scolded by the homeroom teacher who came to assign homework, and they slunk back to their seats. After hearing the homework assignments, they wailed, and the bolder ones directly complained that they "couldn't finish."
The scene seemed familiar, but most of them wore student ID cards and didn't wear masks to indicate deafness or blindness. Upon seeing him, they greeted him familiarly, and one boy even hooked his arm around his shoulder and led him forward: "This humble servant is here to accompany Your Majesty. Convenience store or restroom?"
The warmth of a living person on his shoulder made Xue Chao pause: "All you do is eat and pee, you have no ambition. Go study."
"Nobody's pursuing you, they're all chasing after you, school heartthrob!" The boy with the basketball head grabbed him and pulled him away. "If you keep studying, you'll only be number one. Why don't you wait until there's a new ranking system above number one before you start working hard? Play basketball!"
On the green field enclosed by the lawn, two teams were playing football. They passed by and cheered as a goal was scored. Students were strolling along the stone path beside them. A student with a cell model head was squatting by the lake feeding swans. In the pavilion, a student with a paint head was painting this scene on a canvas. A young couple walked along the corridor past the painters and quietly held hands.
A basketball game was underway, and they waved to them. Xue Chao declined at the last minute, saying he felt dizzy and would rather watch them play for a while. They laughed and chuckled, and then hurriedly invited this gentleman to rest on the flagpole platform.
He sat down to watch them play ball, all he could hear was the young couple arguing and pulling at each other on the swings behind him, going from trying to reason to arguing about attitudes.
He looked up, and a cool breeze swept through his curly hair and across his forehead, refreshing and unusually free of any chilling gloom. Then came the scent of his favorite grass and wildflowers growing casually in the ground.
A few students were slurping down their instant noodles in front of the canteen, gesturing as they ate, clearly dissatisfied with the cafeteria today. The teaching building was brightly lit, and through the windows, one could see lively figures. Even in his real campus life, he rarely experienced such tranquility amidst a crowd.
Knowing many people means having many people to greet, which can be a nuisance. But aside from that, it does reflect a bit of the life he longs for: ordinary, uninteresting, and peaceful, allowing him to take a nap at midday.
Suddenly, a camera shutter clicked. Xue Chao looked over and saw a girl with a Polaroid head facing him, taking a photo out of her head and waving it up: "What are you doing here?"
Upon seeing the photo, Xue Chao immediately guessed that she was one of Xue Chao's friends and the owner of the photo album.
As she approached, Xue Chao reached out to take the photo, but was instead given a jasmine-flavored toast. The girl smiled and said, "I guessed you wouldn't like the food in the cafeteria today, so I saved some for you. But you were late, and the rest have already been taken."
Xue Chao took the bread with its peculiar taste and squeezed it: "...It's almost as good as the cafeteria food."
“I think it’s good.” She took out another one of the same kind and took a small bite. “Congratulations on winning the biology competition. I thought you wouldn’t be able to stick with it.”
Xue Chao sensed a clue: "You underestimated me."
The girl laughed: "Who told you to be afraid of trouble? Plants need watering, air humidity, sunlight, and soil all need to be taken care of, and animals need to eat, drink, and poop. I'm really surprised you didn't 'step down' the biology lab assistant position the very next day."
Xue Chao said lazily, "Interest."
He thought his answer was conservative enough, but the girl gave him a strange look: "I thought your interest was indifference to everything."
These words were like lifting a layer of paper to reveal his shadow, exposing him as he was. He replied, "I care a lot about my life."
“I haven’t seen you pay much attention to it. You went to the hospital again last week. I heard about it.” The girl ate half a piece of bread and couldn’t eat anymore. She put it away and became more serious. “Just take care of yourself like you take care of the plants and animals in your lab.”
Xue Chao glanced at her: "So curious about my lab? Want to go take a look?"
"I still prefer those creatures in the lake. They're so clean and white, with long necks that they can see very far. I wish they could fly," she said with a hint of regret.
Xue Chao smiled and probed, "Then in the lab, you must like Morpho butterflies the most."
The girl nodded: "The color of the wings is beautiful, like your eyes. I'll never forget them once I see them."
The girl's friend called her after buying soda, and she left. Xue Chao then greeted the people on the court and re-entered the teaching building to look for the biology lab.
The biology lab was in a corner on the top floor of the teaching building, directly above the rooftop where the sun would set every day. The key was in his pocket. He pushed open the door and found himself in a clean hospital room. There were no flowers or fruit baskets, no signs of life, only a clean white hospital bed placed in the middle, like an ice coffin in an empty funeral parlor.
He tried to find something that could be called a clue, but there was nothing. The only clue was the white blanket that had been turned up on the hospital bed, as if the person lying there had just left.
Isn't that him?
Xue Chao remained silent for a while, knowing that nothing good was likely to come, but he wanted to try. Outside the window, a classmate's abandoned butterfly kite floated higher and higher, so he lay down again.
As soon as he lay down, a white light flashed, like an exposure during a unit handover. But when Xue Chao opened his eyes, he was still in bed, only the bed was harder. The hanging nine-hole cold light surgical shadowless lamp was on, enveloping his face. A group of doctors and nurses surrounded the bed. Underneath their surgical gowns were scalpels, anesthetics, syringes, ventilators, defibrillators, and other instruments, their heads gleaming with the coldness of metal and glass. It was like seeing the King of Hell under modern technology.
In the reflection of the scalpel, he saw his own morpho butterfly head, flapping its wings.
The electrocardiogram was bright red, with lines smeared with blood, rising and falling slightly, as if the blood was about to be wiped away.
He also noticed that his heartbeat was very weak, slow like an aftershock after death, plunging him into a dangerous drowsiness, as if coaxing him to let go of everything and sleep peacefully.
He slowly closed his eyes. Something pressed on his chest, like an electric shock, trying to wake him, but his body was probably already dead, becoming a barrier, while his lingering soul watched from afar.
This won't do. He tried to find a heartbeat, but the world was silent, and he had to go through the silence with it.
As his eyes were about to close, he seemed to catch a glimpse of a long-haired figure, fleeting yet strangely familiar. Before he could figure out who it was, his heart pounded powerfully into his soul.
Thump, thump, thump.
...Every time that ghostly thing appeared, his heart would pound wildly.
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