Chapter 267 Happy Cemetery
What the hell is this!
The heavy sarcophagus tried to roll over, but was completely engulfed by the volcanic mud that smelled of flowers.
Pharaoh slammed the steering wheel hard, but found that his luxurious coffin could not move: "Are you crazy? Do you know who you are stopping?"
No matter whether he is alive or dead, no one can treat him like this, even if he is an NPC administrator!
The effect of a disposable facial mask can only last for about five minutes. Qiao Song did not expect that the stuff she dug out from her own cemetery could directly kill the owner of the luxurious coffin. All she wanted was a time difference.
"When I came home before dawn yesterday, weren't you very crazy? Didn't you throw stones at me?"
A sledgehammer used for demolition appeared in his hand, and Qiao Song started smashing it.
The volcanic mud mask was like a thick shell. Qiao Song didn't break the coffin. She just wanted to make the guy inside like a dizzy chicken, unable to get out even if he wanted to.
In the Happy Cemetery, residents rarely fight with each other because they know that once they use any skills or props, they will all fall off after one use and disappear forever.
Qiao Song has plenty of tools, she doesn't care, but Pharaoh does.
Bad luck, bad luck, bad luck!
The stupid ones are afraid of the arrogant ones, and the arrogant ones are afraid of the desperate ones.
So he hated these newcomers the most. They were like young people who would throw skills when they got angry, without considering the consequences! It was true that he threw some stones yesterday, but you didn't die, did you?
The heavy volcanic stone mask on the coffin cart slid down from top to bottom. The top layer was the thickest, so the coffin lid could not move at all, but the wheels could.
The Pharaoh, who didn't think there was anything wrong with him at all, slapped his semi-hollow steering wheel inlaid with gems and the gorgeous control panel inlaid with gems. He finally succeeded in turning the wheel and galloped forward.
It's not that he was afraid of the player above him, but there was no need for him to use up his precious abilities for a tiny ant. It was not worth it in a one-on-one fight.
This is a lucky survivor. He doesn't know how he got to the cemetery. He must let the administrator solve the problem.
Wait, no, I can’t go directly to the administrator. He still has to transfer ownership with the gold and silver zombies today!
If those two little guys knew that there was a big troublemaker living next door to him, they would definitely not want to trade places with him. He also planned to use this opportunity to return to his original big villa. If he messed up, the transfer of ownership would be in vain!
I can't go to the administrator, but I have to find someone to get rid of this damn flea, and I don't want to waste my precious ability, so there is only one place left.
Those guys in the funeral team need so many souls every year, shouldn’t they do something more practical?
Pharaoh did what he said and even thought he was quite smart. He was just diverting trouble to that microphone!
But Qiao Song's intention from the beginning was to let him drive.
The biggest thing that outsiders and local residents have in common is that they are all afraid of light.
She had done her research and found that the cost for people renting graves to travel by car was too high, and every time they drove, the room area would shrink by a quarter.
If the player does this, even if the grass on the grave is cleared away, his tomb will soon become a small square box.
Qiao Song’s goal was, firstly, to get a free ride, and secondly, to get this guy to take him to find someone like a cemetery manager.
Third, it is revenge on Pharaoh.
On the speeding sarcophagus, Qiao Song persevered in using the big and small hammers. Even though the Pharaoh was showing off his extreme driving skills, deliberately shaking the front of the car crookedly and running in an S-curve to try to get rid of Qiao Song, the man on top was as if he had nails on his feet, standing still.
However, the bandages on Pharaoh's body, who was driving, were shaken loose. Qiao Song simply treated him as a bell or a wooden fish, beating him desperately, as if he was determined to die together with him.
When he finally saw a sign in the distance, Qiao Song suddenly realized that this was not an administration office, but the destination he wanted to go yesterday.
[Funeral procession comfort center, also Happy Cemetery Band Management Office]
Whenever Pharaoh gets into big trouble now, he will think of those guys playing funeral music. The Mike Crazy, whom he hates the most recently, is the new member there.
"You guys are all supported by the property fees of the cemetery, why don't you get out and work!"
The Pharaoh who called the switchboard directly was almost roaring all the way. The bandages on his head were all loose, and he rolled around on his bed like an egg with loose yolk. On the top, Qiao Song had actually already smashed the hardened facial mask, as if he was just doing some maintenance on the sarcophagus.
But the Pharaoh's head was knocked unconscious, but he held on to his skills and refused to let go. The sarcophagus swayed out of control and crashed directly into the band management office.
Qiao Song was well prepared this time. When he saw the roof, he plugged his ears with something in advance.
It was because she had heard this music before that she had problems with her sense of time.
With both psychological and physical preparation, when the sarcophagus rushed into the band's rehearsal room, the pharaoh's sarcophagus was like a brick, rushing into the world of sound waves.
But she somewhat underestimated the speed and brains of the driver.
Pharaoh turned a good flatbed truck into a flying onion and inserted it directly into the rehearsal room through the window and door.
Seeing that something was wrong, Qiao Song jumped off the coffin, rolled on the spot and landed in a pile of strange sponges.
No, it wasn't a sponge, but a pile of soft and slippery leather piled together like clothes. Qiao Song was only cushioned for three or two seconds. This pile of leather skin was like a living rope that was trying to tie her up.
"Qiao Song?"
Just when Qiao Song was preparing to come up with something to strike back, in the chaotic rehearsal room, apart from the sarcophagus that was still vibrating and struggling wildly, two people suddenly appeared from the dark space.
There were street lights in most places in the cemetery, making it as bright as daytime, but the rehearsal room was pitch black.
Qiao Song couldn't hear clearly after plugging his ears with a cloth, but he vaguely saw a reflective yellow gourd.
The melodious Hulusi started playing first, followed by various folk instruments. Qiao Song felt that the pile of skin that was trying to tie him up suddenly relaxed, and he even hurriedly picked up a small hammer scattered on the side and started to join the band.
Through the broken door, Qiao Song could vaguely see that these little guys with human skin tentacles raised like octopuses were playing the dulcimer.
There were a few guys nearby who were knocked away and crushed by the sarcophagus. They suddenly crawled up, and judging from the way they walked, they had at least broken arms and legs. However, this did not interfere with their enthusiasm for playing.
Waves of music instantly resounded throughout the hall. Qiao Song saw that the broken building debris around her began to recover. She immediately checked the condition of the sarcophagus and saw that the mummy, who was almost concussed by the hammer he had used, finally opened the lid, revealing a hand covered in bandages.
Before Qiao Song could even get to the line, he was grabbed and pulled back by someone.
Qiao Song's ears were blocked, so she didn't know when the person approached her, but she had a keen nose and smelled a very familiar scent of bedding.
This taste...
It’s Xiao Cong, the sleep mattress reviewer who uses the mattress as a weapon.
It seems that the one playing the Hulusi is Lin Qun.
Qiao Song had been tracking down these two people for a long time. After they parted in the Zhazhi Town, he didn't expect to meet them here in the end.
Xiao Cong raised a finger in front of her mouth, signaling Qiao Song not to speak. At the same time, she saw that there was a piece of cloth blocking Qiao Song's ears, and nodded slightly.
She led Qiao Song past those performers with strange limbs that looked less like humans, and soon arrived at a position against the wall at the side of the rehearsal room.
Under Xiao Cong's guidance, Qiao Song saw a barely illuminated notice.
[Happy Cemetery Funeral Team's Comfort Center is recruiting new members: Join now to get your own unique musical instrument, which is very effective whether you are praying for the salvation of your relatives, friends or even yourself. 】
【Please note, once you join, please follow the rules】
[1. Once any funeral music begins to be played, it cannot be stopped and must be played completely, otherwise it will be eaten up by the instrument.]
[2. Since it can only be played in a dark environment, please memorize the score in advance. Playing errors or missing instruments will result in incomplete performance of the song, and the music will be eaten up by the instrument.]
[3. An underfed musical instrument will have the risk of actively hurting people. You can actively feed it with living people, and the instrument will not be judged as an attacking prop.]
[4. The well-fed musical instrument can play music to call the cattle during the day.]
[5. No matter what your reason for joining, please be sure to rehearse seriously. Playing music for the dead is something that needs to be taken seriously. If you receive extra money, you must also work hard to meet the customer's needs, otherwise it will increase the risk of the customer's resurrection! ]
When Qiao Song read these rules, his eyes became brighter and brighter.
Xiao Cong brought Qiao Song to see these, mainly to tell her that she must leave before the music ends, otherwise there will be a risk of being eaten. The player's skills will be scrapped after being used once, but each member of the band can exploit bugs.
Unexpectedly, Qiao Song directly pulled her arm and asked with shining eyes: "Are you still recruiting new people here? Do you have any requirements?"
"Whether it's crying at the grave, playing the erhu or suona, I'm good at it all!"
Creak! The guy playing the erhu next to him accidentally slipped a note, and his dark eyes immediately turned towards Qiao Song.
This guy has a spooky look about him, maybe he's a dead ghost.
Seeing that Qiao Song dared to look him in the eye, the shadow paused for a moment, then straightened his body, but spoke in a low voice: "Who let you in?"
Qiao Song listened to the creaking sound beside his ear and then noticed that while he was distracted just now, a piece of his little finger had been eaten away by the erhu in his hand.
Xiao Cong immediately became a little nervous. She had actually only been there for a short time and was not particularly familiar with the other members of the band. She quickly made a gesture from a distance.
In the pitch-black environment, no one knew how Lin Qun could see clearly, but the rhythm of the Hulusi sound suddenly accelerated.
The rules state that you can’t blow the whistle incorrectly, but they don’t say that you can’t blow it faster.
The one in charge of conducting would occasionally say that the tune could be more cheerful. After all, this was a happy cemetery, and happiness was the most important thing.
Lin Qun's Hulusi skills are pretty good. As he sped up, the one next to him was forced to speed up as well. A bunch of half-baked players playing the funeral music together made a mess, like a whistling train.
But if you fail to keep up or get the tune wrong, your hand might be in trouble, so everyone was on high alert. At this time, the coffin that had just crashed into the room was suddenly opened.
Pharaoh was eager to make a dazzling appearance, and shouted loudly: "What's wrong with Mike? Let your funeral procession come out to deal with the troublemakers. Those outsiders were so bold that they danced on my coffin. Are you going to do anything about it?!"
But amidst his angry complaints, he only saw pairs of eyes looking towards him leisurely.
Pharaoh's accusation was interrupted.
Wait, funeral music?
Pharaoh finally realized the consequences of having poor driving skills. There is an old saying in Happy Cemetery that the easiest people to bully here are the destination administrators, followed by those guys in the band who inexplicably hold their instruments every day.
The Graveyard Band is indeed not difficult to grasp, but you should never interrupt them when they are playing.
The Pharaoh retracted his ankles and wanted to escape back to his own sarcophagus, but it was too late.
Xiao Cong, who originally planned to take Qiao Song away first, obviously did not anticipate the changes that followed.
[Ding—It is detected that a complete opening funeral music has been played, and the number of players present has reached 5 or more, and a funeral will be held randomly. ]
The pitch-black room suddenly lit up. A few light blue and cyan lights circled the room like will-o'-the-wisp, and finally lit up a brazier on the ceiling.
A large area of small squares suddenly lit up at the top of the room. There were squares of three colors among them, and in the black area at the top, there were at least 10 small squares.
The most dense is the red area, followed by the white area.
A jumping hollow cursor is constantly moving across these small squares, as if it is ready to frame one of the lucky ones at any time.
[Random death character selection...]
[Ding——The target mission has been selected. Please hold a qualified funeral for her! ]
The cursor framed a tombstone in the red area. Qiao Song had actually already figured out that these small squares should be graves in different areas of the cemetery.
Hold a funeral?
Qiao Song felt the lights in front of him flicker, and finally the increasingly bright ghost lights drowned out everything.
When she could see clearly again, she was standing in a strange auditorium.
This place is strange because it is filled with a lot of game cartridges, action figures, and various small houses and props that are obviously handmade, and even a whole row of golden, tightly packed round badges.
Qiao Song remembered that the little witch Bai You and Annie, who liked to assemble handmade robots, had both told her about some otaku culture. Is this thing called Baji?
Are all these around me anime?
But when she saw other objects in the distance, she felt something was strange.
I saw a row of wreaths with very strange shapes, placed side by side, with black and white elegiac couplets on the left and right.
There were a lot of "deep condolences, rest in peace", but suddenly a few sentences similar to CP20 popped up in it.
"Let's go with the girl. I'll be a dog if I eat grain in my next life."
"Damn it, damn it, my eyes are blurry. Help me up, I can still put together some more burial objects!"
"Remember to delete your browser history. There's no need for cakes or rice on the altar. Fans, come to the North Pole for team building. Cook one of my products and start eating!"
The more Qiao Song looked, the more confused he became. He repeatedly looked around at the strange objects, and finally, following the peculiarly shaped circle, he saw a coffin submerged in flowers in the distance.
Oh no, it should be called a painful coffin.
There was a coffin completely different from a traditional coffin, inlaid with various patterns and two-dimensional portraits.
Qiao Song even saw a few cute girls who looked familiar to him on it.
There are also some life-size figures and related posters placed near the wreaths outside.
It was confirmed that this was actually a funeral.
Putting aside the strange style, where did all the guests go? Why was she the only one in such a large space?
Qiao Song took two steps forward and could only hear his own footsteps echoing in the hall.
Although the surrounding light is okay, the brightest spot is in the middle where the dead body is placed. There are basically only a few small lights in other areas.
A cold wind blew from behind, making the back of my neck feel a little cold.
A faint cold laugh came to Qiao Song's ears, which belonged to a very young girl.
But the other party obviously scared the wrong person.
Those two-dimensional-style creations are so conspicuous that this funeral doesn't look scary at all.
Qiao Song himself was neither human nor ghost, so how could he be afraid of these things? He walked up to the dead body in three or two steps.
If funerals can be related to games, there should at least be multiple-choice questions, right?
Qiao Song walked to the altar and saw a record player and a few round discs next to it.
[Ding——In the decoration phase, other special guests have made their choices. Now, please choose a suitable music.]
Qiao Song frowned and looked for a while. She was a little dizzy with the fancy decorations in front of her. Originally, the funeral was indeed held for her by others.
But this funeral is clearly more like the style of the tomb owner himself.
If you look at it this way, then you should choose music with a similar style to the one you just mentioned.
She looked through the four discs and the first one was more traditional, the classic music that most people would play in a real funeral home.
This one is directly passed. Logically speaking, this little girl probably wouldn't like such a rigid scene, after all, she has printed a two-dimensional doll on her coffin.
The second one confused Qiao Song a little, it was a red song about strong army.
It looks like a powerful ghost exorcist.
Qiao Song picked up the thing, looked at it, and put it into his pocket naturally.
The third one is very elegant piano music, a long piece of Beethoven and Mozart.
The fourth one was a long string of foreign language that she couldn’t understand, occasionally mixed with some words that would appear in the Shamatte sentences.
Qiao Song did not make a choice immediately. Instead, he took a look at the bottom of the coffin. There was a signboard with some life stories written on it.
[Pianist Qiu Yueqing, born on May 12, 1999, has won many awards...]
Qiao Song watched it again to make sure he was not mistaken.
You people in the second dimension really are lurking in all walks of life quietly, and you have all kinds of professions. If the funeral hadn't been so fancy, no one would have known that this guy is actually a pianist.
This biography seems to tell a person's entire life in just a few hundred words, including her interests and hobbies and all the achievements in her career.
[…I am an outgoing and cheerful person. I especially like horror movies and animations, but I am very timid and afraid of ghosts. After watching something that scares me, I will play red music all night long to give myself courage with the magnificent music.]
This information almost corresponds to the two different options above.
Qiao Song looked at it for a while and saw some medals, certificates and trophies nearby.
Finally, she went back to the place where she had to make a choice, and took the last one without hesitation, even though she couldn't see the scribbled name on it at all.
Other people's comments on the deceased, his appearance, or his honors are all external things. If those external decorations are what she wanted to appear at the funeral, then isn't this multiple-choice question an easy one?
Qiao Song took out the CD and put it directly into the player.
After pressing the play button, the electronic music that was once popular in the streets and alleys at some point suddenly resounded throughout the solemn auditorium.
Qiao Song listened to the peculiar singing voice that only virtual characters could have, and discovered that a group of phantoms suddenly appeared in a large open space in the distance, which seemed to be a band.
No need to think, that's the band.
The dedicated funeral band of Happy Cemetery seemed to be stumped by the music in front of them for the first time. Fortunately, the souls that could be recruited into the team were carefully selected. If they made a mistake, they would have a finger ate. Although the souls could be healed, they recovered slowly.
With this kind of training, you can play any song.
Soon, the electronic music on the music player stopped, and the live music on the other side immediately took over.
Qiao Song even saw Lin Qun among the group of musicians who suddenly appeared.
The other person's eyes were twitching and he kept winking at her to point her in a direction.
At the front of the band, there was a guy with a huge plastic bag on his head, a swallowtail vest on his body, and a pair of batons in his hands.
He was solemn and raised his hand slightly. A large number of folk musical instruments disappeared, and then a series of electronic music debugging equipment such as electric guitars and electronic drums appeared.
The air was quiet for a few seconds, and then a burst of cheerful and dynamic music sounded.
Qiao Song could feel that the atmosphere in the auditorium had completely changed. Suddenly, all kinds of phantoms appeared, some crying or laughing. Sometimes they would go to the front to talk, and some would run to the coffin and talk to the deceased without any fear.
Qiao Song also realized that the thing that had been blowing cool air on the back of her neck was gone.
A silver bell-like laughter appeared in the air.
This is a funeral that would never happen in the real world, but this choice makes a certain soul extremely happy.
Then the lights in the auditorium came on, and dimmed again after a while. She saw black in front of her eyes and found herself back at the place where she had appeared before.
[Ding—Congratulations on successfully attending a funeral! You have received unconditional support from a local resident! ]
Qiao Song saw that all the bands that had performed before appeared again, but everyone looked very tired, as if they had performed for many shows in a row.
But obviously the music had ended and everyone was free again. Qiao Song could see that the ghost closest to him was holding an erhu with many mouths in his hand.
The band members' instruments will not disappear after use, and Qiao Song does not want to engage in a war of attrition with them.
Before the other person turned around, Qiao Song directly pushed open the door in the direction that Lin Qun had winked at.
A bandage monster was screaming and crying out in pain about how his coffin had turned into such a horrible state not far from her.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
