Gradually, Yue Yun seemed to relax, and he talked about more and more things, which became more and more trivial. Sometimes Foyou couldn't help but feel a little surprised and a little suspicious - really, is he just talking nonsense to fool me? But it didn't matter, the stupid and dumb goose at most replaced his father's stick with a scolding, and her father knew about it as soon as she asked him, and replied that he didn't know.
Foyou knew that Yue Yun wanted to go to the battlefield the most, so that he could be like his father and return from the palace with a big banner across the Imperial Street.
She didn't have the feeling of "pitying the bones by the river, still the man in the spring boudoir's dream", nor could she "regret teaching her husband to seek a title". Foyou had seen too many bones and witnessed too many deaths. Shenyou turned nightmares into years of restraint and sensitivity, while she turned nightmares into hatred, engraved in her bones stroke by stroke. The eldest lady, Lady Jiang, the eldest sister... Each one is a blood mark in her bones.
In the autumn of the ninth year of Jianyan, Yu Shi was filled with gloom and murder. Dad left Beijing again to fight in person, and Yue Yun wrote to say that he would also follow his father to fight the Jin people.
Foyou replied, “That’s great.”
Tokyo soon became cold, and news from afar was coming to the palace in a mess. The eldest mother and the empress were not allowed to go out of the palace to play. If she didn't want to go, she didn't want to go. Foyou read the history of Emperor Guangwu and the biography of Guo Ziyi to Shenyou. Shenyou always hugged the hand warmer and slowly fell asleep to her voice. Then Foyou would ask the palace servants to bring candles to the table. She would read until late at night, and then pick out the parts she didn't understand, write a letter to ask her father, and then ask Yue Yun again.
The war was too busy, so he didn't reply often. The first letter was sent in the late autumn when the frost was heavy, and the second letter was sent after the New Year. It was the first time that Foyou received such a long letter. Yue Yun told her how he killed the enemy, and how the Jin people who blocked his way were ignorant when he handed over the troops to Damashao according to Zhang Tongzhi... Finally, he described to her in detail the divine power that overturned a city like thunder. Yue Yun wrote on the paper that they killed many Jin people and captured the families of Jin officials.
Foyou could no longer remember how she responded, but she remembered that when she finished writing, she suddenly realized that her eyes were so sore that she couldn't open them. She talked about the skinny big lady, the gentle lady Jiang, the aunts and sisters who died in despair, the corpses piled up on the road as she trudged along, and the vicious and bestial Jin men. She didn't know how much she had described, but the reply she received was very brief.
Ying Xiang said, I will help you get revenge and return straight to Yanjing.
She didn't ask about the situation of the noble lady in the north like the self-righteous people who thought she was ignorant, nor did they sympathize and comfort her as a "weak woman" who had suffered, nor did they sympathize and mourn for her like the noble ladies who returned to the south. Foyou felt happy. She wanted to cry and laugh at the letter. In the end, she found that she couldn't shed tears, but she was not sad and desperate.
After years of wandering in fear, Foyou finally felt at ease and relieved. Finally, someone saw those things as blood feuds that should be avenged, finally someone could let her talk about the horrifying days and nights in her memory, finally someone could let her speak freely without worrying about whether she would be hated, pitied, or whether the empress and the elder sister would be speculated with dirty and vulgar thoughts. Those who killed the empress finally experienced the fear and despair of the past, and finally someone could take her place and set foot on the old land of the north again as a conqueror.
She finally dared to tell the empress dowager happily when she dreamed of her: Daddy has come to take revenge, and Foyou has found a good man.
All these things are in the past. The year has started again, and I am reborn.
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