Chapter 212 People Who Don’t Deserve Happiness
Shen Sangsang replied, and then she lay down on the bed again.
For some reason, houses in the countryside are always several degrees colder than those in the city. He wrapped her tightly with the thick quilt. After making sure that there was no draft, he watched over her until she fell asleep again, and then he quietly left the bed.
…
Shen Sangsang slept in bed for almost the entire morning. Of course, she took a cold medicine in the middle.
After taking the cold medicine, she broke out in a sweat and her fever went away.
At noon, Zhou Shiran brought in some food. She ate a lot and drank a lot of water. Only then did she feel a little more awake.
Zhou Shiran was worried that she was still feeling unwell, so he asked, "Would you like to eat anything else?"
The things he gave her just now were all things that were hard to get in this village. Shen Sangsang was very clear about his care for her. She didn't even expect that someone like him would be so delicate and considerate in caring for others.
Shen Sangsang thought for a long time before saying, "Why are you so nice to me?"
Zhou Shiran didn't expect her to ask such a question.
These words stumped Zhou Shiran. He was stunned for a few seconds after hearing her words. After a few seconds, he asked himself in his heart why he was so nice to her.
Liking her was the first factor, and the second was probably apology. As for why he felt sorry, he certainly wouldn't say it. He thought for a long, long time before replying, "You've been pampered in the Shen family and are willing to come with me. I swore I'd treat you well from now on."
"Yeah?"
Shen Sangsang raised her face at this moment and looked at him.
Her eyes were a little hazy, as if she was a little unsure.
Zhou Shiran said with a firm voice, as if swearing an oath: "Yes."
This time, Shen Sangsang stopped talking.
Zhou Shiran was worried that she would feel bored if she stayed in the room for too long, so he said, "The air outside is very fresh. Let me take you for a walk."
Although Shen Sangsang didn't look at him, she replied, "Okay."
After that, the two of them naturally walked out of the room together. When they walked outside, the air was indeed extremely fresh, and the scenery outside was beautiful.
Chen Sangsang and Zhou Shiran stood at the gate of the mud brick house, and she looked out at the pond in front of them.
In that pond, there is a pond of lush lotus flowers, which are very beautiful and bright.
Shen Sangsang stared at the lotus flowers in a daze, and Zhou Shiran followed her gaze.
As the two of them watched together, Shen Sangsang said softly: "Do you know? I am an orphan whose parents are dead."
After hearing her words, Zhou Shiran looked towards her. When he saw her profile, his heart suddenly felt sour again.
He whispered, "I know. I've heard it."
"I have lived in an orphanage since I was a child. I was the least popular one because I didn't like to talk or cry, so I was the least noticed. This lack of attention meant that I could only eat three meals a day."
When she said these words, Zhou Shiran's eyes were fixed on her face, not moving away at all, but his hands hanging at his sides were uncontrollably clenched into fists.
"Since I was little, my biggest wish has been to have enough food to eat all year round, even if it's not a full year, just half a year would be fine. However, this wish never came true until I was a teenager. At that time, I thought I would spend my whole life in hunger."
When she said this, there was even a hint of irony in her voice about the fickleness of fate.
But after hearing her sarcastic laugh, Zhou Shiran felt heartbroken.
Shen Sangsang continued, "Before I was a teenager, other kids my age were already of normal weight, but I was always skinny and on the verge of malnutrition. One day, I couldn't stand the hunger any longer. On an extremely hungry night, I secretly escaped from the orphanage. On that snowy night, I was running frantically on the road in thin clothes when I accidentally ran in front of a car."
"That expensive car came to a screeching halt when it was only half a meter away from me. At that moment, I was lying in the snow in a thin outfit, my mind blank under the glaring light. Thinking of that blankness now, I still feel terrified."
Recalling this, Shen Sangsang took a deep breath, and after a while, she slowly exhaled from her heart: "I never thought that my actions that day would actually change the trajectory of my life. It actually... allowed me to go from an orphan who couldn't even get enough food to live a life like a princess. I am very grateful to Old Madam Shen. If she hadn't gotten out of the car that day, saw my pitiful look, and took me back to the Shen family, I'm afraid I would have died on that snowy night. Actually, now that I think about it, I would have hoped that I had died that night. I was so young back then, and if I died, I would have been very happy."
Zhou Shiran didn't want to hear her say such things, so he grabbed her arm very hard. Shen Sangsang raised her head and looked at the people around her.
Zhou Shiran's face was filled with excitement: "What nonsense are you talking about?! Why do you think so?"
He asked why. Shen Sangsang actually thought quietly for a while under his gaze. After thinking for a long time, a faint smile appeared on the corner of her mouth: "If I had died on that snowy night, I wouldn't be living in the pain and self-condemnation now. In fact, I should be grateful to her, but I can't do it."
Although she didn't specify the "she" she was talking about, Zhou Shiran knew who she was talking about.
Zhou Shiran held her arm with increasing force.
Chen Sangsang continued to smile at him, her eyes bright and sad. "Chen Zhou's death troubled me, made me mentally ill, made me miserable, and kept me awake all night. At that time, I wondered, why? Why? I was so close to happiness, why would God play such a joke on me? God built my dream with his own hands, but then crushed it."
When Shen Sangsang said these words, her eyes were always on Zhou Shiran, and Zhou Shiran felt as if he had nowhere to hide under her gaze. He even felt a little uneasy standing under her gaze.
Just as he pursed his lips and remained silent in her sight.
Another tear fell from the corner of Shen Sangsang's eyes, but there was no sadness in her eyes. She said softly: "Perhaps I am a person abandoned by God. Perhaps I don't deserve happiness. So from that day on, I completely gave up on myself, wasted myself, and degraded myself. Until I used some trickery to marry Shen Yuehuai. I thought that perhaps the more pain I suffered, the more twisted happiness I gained."
Zhou Shiran didn't dare to listen to her telling all this. When he heard all this, he felt nothing but regret.
Because the pain of the person in front of him was all caused by him, he was the culprit.
Thinking of this, Zhou Shiran's eyebrows twitched, and his eyes were full of complicated expressions. Shen Sangsang asked him, "Do you also think I'm pitiful? And hateful?"
Zhou Shiran kept his lips tightly closed and did not answer her.
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