Frank Mr. "Insulator"
Gu Yansheng's heart was still beating wildly because of the roar just now and Jiang Lin's absurd and self-deprecating laughter. The chaos brought by alcohol and drugs was shattered by the strong emotions.
He stared at Jiang Lin blankly, at the complex and difficult-to-interpret expression on his face, and at the embarrassment and deep fatigue that flashed across his eyes.
Jiang Lin took a deep breath, and that breath seemed to carry a thousand pounds of weight. He no longer paid attention to the sound of the eaves, but slowly sat back on the stool beside the bed.
The tall figure was slightly hunched, his hands clasped in his lap, his knuckles white from the strain. His gaze fell on his clenched hands, and his voice, deep as if coming from the depths of the earth, carried an unprecedented frankness and... vulnerability?
"Indeed, I'm not that honest with you." He paused, as if gathering his courage, and uttered each word clearly and heavily.
"You're right, Shengsheng."
Gu Yansheng's heart sank suddenly and he held his breath.
Jiang Lin raised his head, his gaze finally fixed on Gu Yansheng again. His eyes were deep and complex, containing too many emotions that Gu Yansheng couldn't understand. "I'm hypersensitive to your rainy weather... I have a stress reaction, a big one."
Gu Yansheng's eyes widened instantly and he looked at him in disbelief.
"Every time you have an attack," Jiang Lin's voice was almost cold and calm, as if he was analyzing a case, but the turmoil in his eyes betrayed him, "my heartbeat becomes extremely fast, so fast... I feel like it's going to jump out of my throat in the next second.
"My brain, it knows what to do, get the medicine, handle it, comfort you... the instructions are clear and it always responds 'correctly', but..."
He raised his slender, steady hands, which had saved lives countless times on the operating table, stretched them in front of Gu Yansheng and spread them slightly. Under the dim light, Gu Yansheng seemed to see the hands with distinct finger bones trembling extremely slightly and uncontrollably.
"Only I know that my hands... start shaking. From the moment you first show the symptoms, even if I see the weather forecast indicating rain, my fingertips start to go numb and my emotions fluctuate greatly."
He didn't continue, but the unfinished words weighed on Gu Yansheng's heart like a huge rock.
"I went to see a psychiatrist."
Jiang Lin pulled the corners of his mouth, revealing a very faint, bitter smile. "He said I was too paranoid. He said that when I was a child, I witnessed you having a seizure and almost died... So when I grew up, I magnified that stereotype infinitely, treating you like a fragile little snowman that could melt at any time."
"He told me to learn... to let go, to stop treating you as my responsibility, as a patient who needed my 24/7 close monitoring. He said that if I did that... I would be crushed."
Gu Yansheng was completely stunned. He opened his mouth but could not make any sound. The dizziness brought by the alcohol was completely wiped out by this huge piece of information, leaving only the suffocating feeling of his heart being tightly clenched.
He never knew! He had no idea! He had always thought Jiang Lin's calmness and professionalism were innate, a reflection of his inner strength. He had never imagined that every time he became ill, beneath his calm exterior, he was actually under such immense, almost self-destructive psychological pressure! His illness not only tortured him, but also silently tortured Jiang Lin!
A strong sense of bitterness instantly rushed into his nose, and his eyes were swollen and painful. He bit his lower lip tightly, but a hot tear could not be hidden after all. It broke out of his eye socket unexpectedly and fell heavily on the back of his cold hand, leaving a small dark wet mark.
Huge guilt and heartache overwhelmed him like a tide. He almost staggered over from the bed, stretched out his arms, and hugged Jiang Lin, who was sitting on the stool, tightly and firmly, burying his face deeply in his broad but obviously stiff chest.
"I'm sorry... Jiang Lin... I'm sorry..." Gu Yansheng's voice was choked and broken, with a thick crying tone, murmuring repeatedly, "I don't know... I really don't know... I'm sorry..."
Jiang Lin's body was as stiff as a rock the moment he hugged her. He didn't hug back, and didn't even move.
He just let Gu Yansheng hold him, feeling the slight trembling of the person in his arms and the hot tears soaking his clothes. After several seconds, he slowly raised his hands, but not to hug him back. Instead, he used both hands gently but with irresistible strength to support Gu Yansheng's tear-stained cheeks, forcing him to raise his head.
His palms were warm, his fingertips were covered with thin calluses, but his movements were extremely gentle. Under the dim light, Jiang Lin's eyes were unusually bright, like cold stars quenched by fire, looking straight into Gu Yansheng's misty and tearful eyes, which were filled with an extremely complex and strong emotion that Gu Yansheng had never seen before.
"Now, confess the second thing." Jiang Lin's voice was low and hoarse, with a strange magnetism. Every word struck Gu Yansheng's heart. "If you get scared later... remember to take a deep breath."
Gu Yansheng was stunned by his solemn tone and gaze. He subconsciously held his breath, forgetting even to shed tears. His mind was in a turmoil. The second thing? Was there anything more shocking than that confession?
Jiang Lin ignored his blank look, and didn't wait for his answer. He stared into Gu Yansheng's eyes, as if trying to imprint his soul into them, and then, in a clear and decisive tone, he said word by word:
"That night, when you drowsily said to me, 'Can I hold you, Jiang Lin?'..." He paused, his Adam's apple rolling violently, as if he was overcoming a huge obstacle, but his eyes became sharper and more determined, "...I reacted."
Gu Yansheng's pupils suddenly contracted, his brain buzzed, and everything went blank in an instant. He seemed not to understand the meaning of this sentence, or he couldn't believe his ears.
Jiang Lin did not give him time to digest, and continued to throw down thunderbolts one by one with that low and burning voice.
"Shengsheng, I have a feeling for you... that goes beyond childhood friendship. I don't know when it started... maybe even earlier. I only know that by the time I realized it, it was already too late."
"When I see you, I want to kiss you."
"I want to hold you tight."
"I want..." Jiang Lin's eyes became dark and dangerous, with an undisguised, intense desire that was almost predatory, "...I want to do something more intimate."
Boom——!!!
How could this be considered a confession? This was clearly... a confession! Jiang Lin was declaring his feelings in the most direct and explicit way possible!
Gu Yansheng was completely stunned. The huge shock and disbelief swept over him like a tsunami. He stared blankly at Jiang Lin's face, which was full of seriousness and burning enthusiasm. He felt that his heart was about to jump out of his chest. The blood in his body was rushing wildly, impacting his nerves that were already sensitive due to allergies and alcohol.
So... Jiang Lin likes him too? ! !
Then what was the real reason for all his pain, confusion, self-loathing, and desperate attempts to distance himself over the past two weeks?!
A huge ecstasy exploded in his heart like an explosion, instantly washing away all the grievances, bitterness and chaos. He was like a fool, suffering for so long in vain!
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