Mr. Good's "little hobby"
Gu Yansheng forwarded his senior's wedding invitation to Jiang Lin, then conveyed the other party's meaning, took a shower, and went into bed early to enjoy his personal time on Saturday - reading gay comics!
He discovered that he was gay in his second year of high school. Adolescent boys always liked to discuss the girls in the class, but he didn't like it. He even felt that those boys were disrespectful to others.
He told Jiang Lin about these things, but Jiang Lin did not give him any emotional value. Instead, he knocked on his head and told him to study hard and get into University B together. However, despite the high-intensity study pressure, Gu Yansheng was exposed to another new world - gay comics.
He was introduced to this by Jiang Xinchen, his good deskmate and one of the few high school classmates he is still in touch with.
…
On a sophomore afternoon, the air was thick with chalk dust and the restless atmosphere of adolescence. Gu Yansheng listened to the boys in the back row commenting on the figures of the girls in the next class in what he thought were subdued, but in reality, harsh tones. He felt a churning in his stomach, filled with indescribable irritation and disgust.
He frowned and buried his face in the open physics workbook, trying to block out the discussions that made him uncomfortable.
"Hey, Yansheng, what are you doing? Acting so reserved?" Jiang Xinchen, his deskmate, nudged him lightly with his elbow, a sly smile on his face. Jiang Xinchen was one of the few friends Gu Yansheng could chat with under the pressure of studying. He had a lively personality, a lively mind, and always had something new and interesting to say.
Gu Yansheng shook his head gloomily. "Nothing. I just think that what they did... is not good!"
Jiang Xinchen raised an eyebrow, moved closer, and lowered his voice, "Who cares about them... I'll show you something good... Look at this?" He carefully took out a comic book wrapped in an ordinary book cover from the inner layer of his schoolbag and stuffed it into Gu Yansheng's hand, his eyes gleaming with the excitement of sharing a secret. "I guarantee it will open the door to a new world!"
Gu Yansheng flipped open the book with suspicion. What greeted him was a scene of fluid lines and exquisite painting—two handsome young men beneath a cherry blossom tree, their eyes locked, so close they could almost feel each other's breath. The next page showed an even more intimate gesture, one forcefully pressing the other against the wall, their fingertips tracing the other's flushed cheek...
His heart skipped a beat, as if something was gripping him tightly. Blood rushed to his cheeks, and his ears burned. He slammed the book shut and threw it back to Jiang Xinchen as if he'd been burned. His voice was a little distorted. "You...you look at this?!"
Jiang Xinchen chuckled and took back the treasure. "Shh! Keep your voice down! How is it? Isn't it more interesting than listening to them talk about girls?"
Gu Yansheng didn't answer, his head buzzing. The image just now was etched on his retina like a brand, lingering. That throbbing sensation, that hidden attraction... was completely different from the polite admiration he occasionally felt when he glimpsed a beautiful girl!
A clear, panic-inducing realization emerged from the chaos—he seemed... to have more feelings for boys?
For the next few days, Gu Yansheng was completely distracted. Physics formulas and chemical equations faded into the background. He didn't dare look at Jiang Xinchen, let alone any of the attractive boys in the class.
A huge, unfamiliar panic gripped him. Was he "different"? Was this normal? Would he be spurned by everyone? He already had a strange mental illness, and now this… The world seemed to open up like an abyss beneath him.
A surge of anxiety and loneliness washed over him like an icy tide. He needed an anchor, a place that was completely safe and understood his panic. Only one name remained crystal clear in his mind: Jiang Lin.
On Saturday afternoon, Gu Yansheng almost broke down the door of Jiang Lin's house. At that moment, Jiang Lin was sitting at his desk doing competition questions. He frowned and looked up, but before he could scold him for being reckless, he was blocked by Gu Yansheng's pale face and red eyes.
"Jiang... Jiang Lin..." Gu Yansheng's voice was thick with nasal twang and an uncontrollable tremor, like a drowning man grasping at a last piece of driftwood. He rushed to Jiang Lin without hesitation, grasping Jiang Lin's arm tightly with both hands, his nails almost digging into it, his body still trembling slightly. "I... I feel like... I'm done..."
Jiang Lin froze at his sudden shock and overreaction, his brow furrowing even tighter. He didn't immediately push Gu Yansheng away, but he didn't try to appease him either. He simply scrutinized him with those deep, cold eyes, as if analyzing a complex fault code.
Gu Yansheng was incoherent. The huge sense of shame and fear made him almost cry, "I... I think... I seem to... like... boys..." The last few words were as light as the hum of a mosquito, but they took all his strength.
Jiang Lin's eyes suddenly darkened, as if frozen. He offered no words of comfort, nor did he betray surprise or disdain. He simply stood up abruptly, his towering figure instantly creating a strong sense of oppression.
"Right now, immediately, put your bag down and take out your math test. You didn't get the last two questions right yesterday." Jiang Lin's voice was cold and hard, carrying an absolute command. He looked down at Gu Yansheng, his eyes as sharp as a knife, piercing straight into the other's confused eyes.
"Instead of thinking about useless things, it's better to solve a few more problems. What's your goal? B major. Now, do the problems!"
Gu Yansheng was completely stunned by his sudden dominance and indifference, his fear and desire to speak were abruptly suppressed. He looked at Jiang Lin's expressionless, unquestionable, cold face, and all his grievances and fear seemed to be temporarily frozen by this powerful aura.
Like a new recruit being scolded by the instructor, he subconsciously obeyed the order, hurriedly put down his schoolbag, took out the test paper, and picked up the pen, but his fingers were still shaking slightly and his mind was a mess.
Jiang Lin sat across from him, not leaving or speaking. He simply picked up his exercise book and continued working on the questions. The tip of his pen made a regular, cold, scratching sound as it scraped across the paper.
The only sounds in the small space were the rustling of pages and pens, along with a silent, overwhelming sense of oppression. Gu Yansheng forced himself to focus on the math problem in front of him, the complex formulas and graphs temporarily displacing the chaotic thoughts in his mind.
Jiang Lin's presence was like a silent mountain, unwaveringly pulling him back from the brink of his self-awareness panic and into the safe haven of "learning." This almost brutal, forced calmness strangely gave him a twisted sense of security—at least, the sky wasn't falling, because Jiang Lin was still helping him do his homework.
It was not until the driver called that Gu Yansheng returned home with a tired body and a still confused mind. He thought that the matter had come to an end with Jiang Lin's "doing the test" and "the cold face".
However, the next day after school, Jiang Lin appeared directly at Gu Yansheng's classroom door. He remained expressionless, though his eyes had grown more serious. He said nothing, simply motioning for Gu Yansheng to follow him.
The two of them arrived at a quiet, deserted grove behind the school. Jiang Lin stopped, turned, and stared at Gu Yansheng with a piercing gaze. He pulled out several densely printed A4 sheets from his washed-out canvas schoolbag and stuffed them into Gu Yansheng's hands.
Gu Yansheng glanced down and his breath hitched. On the paper were scientific explanations of sexual orientation, summaries of psychological research, and even brief introductions to relevant international rights organizations. Though the content was limited and a bit awkward, the handwriting was clear, clearly meticulously compiled.
"See clearly." Jiang Lin's voice was deep and powerful, with an unquestionable sense of authority. He leaned over slightly, approaching Gu Yansheng, and his powerful aura enveloped him. He said almost in an imperative tone: "First, this is not a disease. Second, it is not a sin. Third,"
He paused, his eyes fixed sharply on Gu Yansheng's evasive gaze, and spoke each word clearly, "It won't change who you are, and it shouldn't affect what you should do."
He stretched out his hand, not as a comforting hug, but as a gesture of control, he pressed Gu Yansheng's shoulder hard, so hard that Gu Yansheng staggered slightly.
"Stop reading those random comics and daydreaming." Jiang Lin's tone was cold and admonishing, like a stern brother. "Focus your energy on the right path. Big B, remember? Don't think about those random things."
He let go of her hand, a look of almost cold pragmatism flashing in his eyes, "Once you pass the exam and grow stronger, you will truly be in control of your own world..."
After saying this, he no longer looked at Gu Yansheng's reaction and turned to walk away. His back was straight and resolute, like a sharp blade unsheathed, splitting the chaotic fog in Gu Yansheng's heart. There was no warm comfort, only cold rational analysis and a strong goal-oriented approach.
He conveyed the most core message - "This is normal, no need to panic, but you must be strong" to himself who had just awakened to his sexual orientation. Gu Yansheng did not panic because of this afterwards, because he had received the most authoritative knowledge guidance found by Jiang Lin.
…
At night, the door of the house was opened, and Gao Dasheng walked in, having changed his slippers. He was holding food that smelled delicious. He looked at the dark living room, then put the food on the table and walked towards the master bedroom, which was the only source of light in the house.
Gu Yansheng was lying on his side on the light yellow quilt, with the cell phone still in his hand. His soft snoring told the other person that he was sleeping soundly. His light green pajamas made his skin look whiter, and the color of the veins in his hands was more prominent.
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