Mr. Insulator's self-transgressive provocation
The drug slowly began to take effect, like a cool mist, trying to cover the burning riot beneath the skin. The sharp pricking sensation gradually dulled, turning into a dull itchy and sensitive sensation that penetrated deeper into the bone marrow, as if every inch of skin was silently screaming.
Gu Yansheng closed his eyes and curled up on Jiang Lin's overly clean little bed, his body still trembling slightly due to the remaining discomfort.
Outside the window, the sound of raindrops was the only background noise. The dim bedside lamp cast a blurry shadow of the two people on the wall.
Jiang Lin lay sideways beside him, and through the soft cotton pajamas on Gu Yansheng's body, his large palm patted his back steadily and regularly, again and again, with a habitual rhythm that was almost engraved into his bones.
The touch through the clothes, with body warmth and a reassuring power, was Gu Yansheng's subconscious barrier against pain.
However, tonight seemed a little different.
Perhaps it was the large red rash that suddenly spread in the bathroom that stung Jiang Lin's eyes, or perhaps it was Gu Yansheng's confused and fragile eyes filled with tears when he opened the door that hit him, or perhaps... it was just the annoying, triggering sound of rain outside the window in the remote Shilong Town that disturbed his pride in calmness.
The hand that was originally only patting her soothingly through her pajamas, inexplicably changed its trajectory when it fell again.
The large, warm fingers with thin calluses did not fall on the clothes, but slid in along the hem of Gu Yansheng's pajamas with a cautious exploration that even Jiang Lin himself did not notice.
The hot and morbidly sensitive skin suddenly fell into the slightly cool and rough palm.
“Hmm…”
Gu Yansheng's body trembled violently, and a vague whimper escaped from his throat. It was hard to tell whether it was the sudden intensification of pain or some strange stimulation.
Jiang Lin's palm froze instantly! The sensation beneath his fingertips was astonishing. The skin was abnormally hot, delicate as the most fragile porcelain, yet covered in rashes and hypersensitive, every inch of it felt like a subtle tremor and tension. It was a touch so familiar that it felt strangely unfamiliar.
Without the barrier of clothing, Gu Yansheng's sensations were infinitely amplified. The friction from the rough fingertips was distorted and amplified on the extremely sensitive nerve endings, like countless tiny electric currents running through them.
Almost instinctively, he trembled and snuggled deeper and tighter into Jiang Lin's arms, his forehead resting on Jiang Lin's warm neck, his body curled up in a posture seeking shelter, like a wounded little animal that had found its only support.
Only one thought remained in his chaotic mind—it had been a long time since Jiang Lin had touched his back so intimately. He wanted to get closer to him, to grab that hand that only brought a mixture of comfort and pain, to let it stay, to let it cover all the clamoring skin more forcefully! The desire of his body completely overwhelmed his rational resistance.
Jiang Lin's breathing suddenly stopped!
The person in his arms was hot and trembling, carrying the lingering fruity scent of a bath and the delicate scent of her skin. Gu Yansheng's active closeness and dependence were like a red-hot iron, burning his heart hard and catching him off guard.
He could clearly feel every slight tremor in Gu Yansheng's body, and his rapid and hot breath on the side of his neck.
Confused thoughts grew like weeds.
How could he…how could he hide behind a bad guy? Why would he condone a wrongdoer who had crossed the line?! Gu Yansheng should have angrily pushed him away and yelled at him, instead of throwing herself unreservedly and vulnerablely into his arms like she was doing now!
A surge of self-loathing and a deeper, more unfamiliar restlessness rushed over him, burning his throat dry and tight.
"...Gu Yansheng,"
Jiang Lin's voice was very hoarse, as if it had been rubbed by sandpaper, and every word was squeezed out from between his teeth with difficulty.
"Are you comfortable?"
This question is more like a kind of torture to oneself, with an almost cruel verification, wanting to confirm whether this out-of-control behavior of mine has really brought relief or brought deeper harm.
The person in his arms was obviously still unconscious under the dual effects of medicine and illness. Gu Yansheng heard the voice and raised his head in a daze. His eyes, which were soaked with physiological tears, now had a pitiful and attractive blush at the corners.
He tried to focus, looking at Jiang Lin who was so close to him. His lips moved a few times, and the sound that came out was as light as a sigh, but it carried a childlike dependence and pleading that had spanned more than twenty years:
"Can I hold you? Jiang Lin..."
Exactly the same words.
When he was a child, the little boy who was red and swollen all over and short of breath due to allergies also huddled in his arms like this, begging in a sobbing, barely breathing voice, "Can I hold you? Jiang Lin..."
At that time, it was pure and unadulterated dependence and trust.
At this moment, the same plea came from the mouth of a grown man, with the fragility of illness and the haziness of awakening desire, like a huge rock thrown into a deep pool, instantly setting off a huge storm in Jiang Lin's heart!
Those forcibly suppressed and blurred boundaries, those accumulated indulgences and attentions, those possessive and protective desires that even he himself had never thoroughly explored... At this moment, they were completely ignited and detonated by these repeated words of the child!
What horrified him even more was his body's most direct and honest reaction—a surge of heat rushed uncontrollably to his lower abdomen...
This sudden and intense physiological reaction was like a basin of ice water mixed with boiling oil being poured onto Jiang Lin's mind! A huge sense of shame and self-loathing instantly overwhelmed him!
"hiss……"
Jiang Lin gasped suddenly, and the hand that had reached into Gu Yansheng's pajamas was instantly pulled out as if it had been electrocuted! The movement was so fast that it brought up a gust of wind.
He didn't even have time to think, and he sat up in bed in a panic! The huge movement made the bed creak under the heavy weight.
Gu Yansheng was shaken by his sudden movement, and looked blankly at his back as he suddenly withdrew. His body, without support, was exposed to the slightly cool air, and the discomfort on his skin seemed to become more obvious.
Jiang Lin had his back to him, his chest heaving violently. He didn't dare look back or look at Gu Yansheng's expression at the moment.
He grabbed the quilt from the bed and, with almost brutal force, quickly and tightly wrapped Gu Yansheng from head to toe, like an airtight cocoon! It was as if only this thick barrier could isolate his previous disgusting reaction.
The quilt was wrapped tightly, revealing only Gu Yansheng's face, which seemed a little dull due to the effects of the medicine and was now full of confusion and grievance.
He looked at Jiang Lin's stiff back blankly, as if he didn't understand why the support he had just felt suddenly disappeared, and why the warm touch turned into a cold restraint.
Although the dryness, itching and discomfort under the skin were blunted by the medication, they did not disappear.
Without Jiang Lin's direct touch, the emptiness and desire emerged again. He struggled to stretch out his arm covered with pink spots and rashes from the thick quilt. On his cold white skin, the red marks and the white gauze wrapped around his left arm looked particularly glaring and fragile under the dim light.
Like a lost child, he stubbornly, with the stubbornness that comes from illness, repeated the words to the figure that rejected him. His voice was even more unclear because it was muffled by the quilt, but it carried a deeper plea:
"Can I hold you? Jiang Lin... feels uncomfortable..."
The sound was like a thin needle, piercing Jiang Lin's extremely tense nerves.
Time seemed to stand still. The sound of rain outside the window seemed to have subsided.
Jiang Lin stood there stiffly, his back like a stone sculpture. After what felt like a century, he turned around very slowly, with a heavy gesture as if he were carrying a tremendous weight.
He didn't look at Yansheng's face, but his gaze fell on the arm covered with red rashes that was sticking out of the quilt. His eyes were as complicated as an abyss of cold water.
Finally, he sat back down silently and heavily on the edge of the bed, stretched out his arms through the two thick, all-isolating quilts, and with an extremely restrained and distanced posture, carefully answered his question with actions, wrapping Gu Yansheng, who was wrapped like a "cocoon", along with the thick barrier.
The quilt blocked the direct comfort that Gu Yansheng longed for, and also blocked all possibilities of Jiang Lin losing control.
In the darkness, Jiang Lin held the "patient" who was wrapped up by his own hands, his jaw line was tense, and there was a turbulent struggle in his eyes.
Gu Yansheng, under the influence of the drugs, finally couldn't resist the fatigue and the remaining comfort. Surrounded by the quilt and Jiang Lin's arms, his consciousness gradually sank into the chaotic darkness. Only his brows were still slightly furrowed, as if he was enduring the silent war under his skin even in his sleep.
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