My name is Fang Huai
Home, a traditional place of refuge, is so close yet so far away in Fang Huai.
He initially felt uncomfortable spending time with his adoptive parents, but over time, he gradually got used to it. The house, which He Lijun described as cold and indifferent, has also undergone many changes, with brightly colored woolen fabrics now appearing under the chairs and fruit bowls.
He Lijun's yarn balls would randomly appear on the sofa and coffee table, and Fang Sijie's chess pieces would appear in every inconspicuous gap. There was only quarreling, not raging arguments. Fang Huai watched his adoptive parents bicker from time to time, and his heart was at peace.
They began to integrate into Fang Huai's world imperceptibly. The peace and tranquility were mixed with a hint of uneasiness. Fang Huai looked at the two elders who were busy with work and was lost in thought.
Everything is like a mirage seen in the desert, which cannot withstand any scrutiny.
The old couple tidied the house very neatly. When they felt like it, they would buy a few paper maps and take Fang Huai, who stayed at home, out for a walk.
They really sat at the dining table harmoniously to eat like a family, and after dinner they chatted side by side and went out for a walk.
The arrival of his adoptive parents diverted most of Fang Huai's attention, at least preventing him from focusing solely on waiting for news from the hospital.
But gradually, their topics began to change. His adoptive mother began to ask about his ideal type, and when he went out for a walk, he would meet some enthusiastic aunties who would pull him aside to introduce him to friends.
Fang Huai decisively refused and emphasized in front of everyone: "Sorry, I have no plans in this regard."
He Lijun and Fang Sijie stood opposite him, their faces darkening immediately.
But the adoptive parents didn't seem to take Fang Huai's words to heart. The topics at the dinner table were the future, partners, and girlfriends.
The peace they maintain between them is like a loft in the air, held together by only a silk thread that could break at any time. If it tilts or shakes even slightly, the image of a harmonious family in the mouths of their parents' new friends will collapse and shatter, buried by the wreckage of the disguised illusion.
Chen Mian still came, holding a gift in her hand, still wearing the black long dress she wore on the day they first met, with light makeup on her face, and gave him an impeccable smile.
"Fang Huai, we meet again."
Chen Mian extended her hand and smiled politely at him. Fang Huai stood up and loosely grasped half of her hand. "Long time no see."
Seeing that the two young people were getting along well, He Lijun and Fang Sijie made an excuse to go out and asked Fang Huai to treat the girl well.
After the people left, the two looked at each other. Chen Mian calmly took a sip of tea, and Fang Huai stood up to pour her some tea.
Chen Mian put down the teacup and looked at Fang Huai with a half-smile: "Mr. Fang likes Sophora japonica flowers very much?"
She glanced meaningfully at the door and slowly said, "Or does the gentleman who keeps messaging you like it?"
Fang Huai's phone kept vibrating. He knew without a doubt that it was a message from Kong Lingyu. Fang Huai turned his head and smiled politely, "Sorry."
He quickly typed a few words on the screen. There was no more movement from the other end. Fang Huai put the phone aside and said, "I like it."
Chen Mian raised an eyebrow, tucked the black hair behind her ear, and said calmly, "Do you know what your parents mean?"
"Know."
The woman frowned. "I mean, they took the initiative to ask me out, under your name."
Fang Huai froze for a moment, and the smile on his face disappeared. "I'm sorry, I didn't know about this, Miss Chen. I don't have such intentions."
"Me too." Chen Mian was cold and straightforward. "Since neither of us has any intention in this regard, if the elders ask about it later, just say: It's not appropriate."
"I have no plans to date or get married. I only agreed to Auntie's invitation out of respect for my elders. Of course, I also know that you have no plans in this regard, and your orientation is not here."
Fang Huai agreed. He didn't understand what Chen Mian meant. "This time was an accident, but there will be no future."
He calmly poured Chen Mian another cup of tea and said, "Miss Chen, don't worry."
......
Chen Mian finished his tea and left. After a while, He Lijun and Fang Sijie also came back.
"How was your chat?" Fang Sijie put the vegetables he had just bought into the refrigerator and couldn't help but turn around to inquire about the two of them. He Lijun was sitting on the sofa and saw the cleaned cups on the coffee table. She lowered her head, not knowing what she was thinking, and wrinkles at the corners of her eyes were slightly raised.
"How was your conversation with Chen Mian?" He Lijun asked, glancing at the locust flowers on the table.
"Mom, we're not suitable."
Fang Huai looked at the reflection in the teacup. The reflection of his adoptive mother gradually distorted as he raised his head.
He Lijun suddenly stood up and swept the vase on the table to the ground. The vase shattered instantly when it hit the ground, and the water and locust flowers inside splashed all over the carpet. The off-white flowers fell and stood on the carpet, which was an eyesore no matter how you looked at it.
Under Fang Huai's shocked gaze, He Lijun walked over and swept all the locust flowers into the trash can.
"Why is it inappropriate?" Fang Sijie asked, sitting next to his wife.
Fang Huai sat across from the two of them, raised his eyes to look at his adoptive parents, shook his head, and said stubbornly, "It's not appropriate, no matter what."
He Lijun's chest heaved. After seeing the text message from Chen Mian, she pointed at the message on her phone and said, "You all said it's not appropriate."
"What's inappropriate about it? She's a high school teacher, she's beautiful, has a good personality, and knows everything about her. What's inappropriate about it? Does she have to be a man to be suitable?"
Fang Huai looked at the reflection in the teacup, his eyes dead.
They knew, but they kept testing him, testing his bottom line.
His nails dug deep into his palms, and the stinging brought Fang Huai a moment of clarity. He looked up at his adoptive parents. His lower lip was bleeding from being bitten, and his mouth was filled with the taste of blood. He opened and closed his lips, squeezing out a word: "Yes."
"It just won't work."
"You!——" He Lijun stood up, her body swaying. Her husband quickly supported her and urged Fang Huai with his eyes: "Do you still want to make your mother angry?"
Fang Huai sat there without any movement. He watched the couple singing in unison, a hint of confusion flashing in his eyes.
He Lijun was irritated by Fang Huai's silence. She blurted out, "I'm sorry for you. I'm not worthy of being your mother. It's me who led you astray. You don't like good girls, but you like men. Fang Huai, you hate me, don't you?"
"Are you taking revenge on me?"
"I didn't teach you well, so you're taking revenge on me like this?" He Lijun cried and rushed to Fang Huai: "Fang Huai, I regret it, I've regretted it countless times, I regret adopting you, I regret adopting you and not..."
Fang Huai sat there in a daze, with a roar in his ears. He only heard He Lijun's first words: They regretted it, regretted adopting him, she regretted it.
They all regretted taking him out of the orphanage. Fang Huai looked up at He Lijun and shook his head: "I know, you regret it."
He frowned, his eyes reddened, but he raised his face and smiled and said, "Mom, thank you for telling me that you regret it."
He Lijun saw Fang Huai's smile and grabbed his arm tightly, her sharp nails digging deep into his flesh. She looked into Fang Huai's eyes and asked with tears in her eyes, "What did you call me?"
"Mother?"
He Lijun's eyes suddenly felt hot, and she suddenly laughed, "Fang Huai, am I still your mother?"
He Lijun pushed her husband away and looked at the blood on her nails. The scarlet color reminded her of the vague and chaotic days. She hadn't heard Fang Huai's "Mom" since she last heard her.
Mom? Is she Fang Huai's mother?
She suddenly pushed Fang Huai away and said in a hoarse voice, "No, I'm not your mother."
"Fang Huai, I'm not your mother." He Lijun looked at Fang Huai and said with a wry smile, "Fang Huai, I'm not your mother."
She reached out and stroked Fang Huai's face, and through those sad eyes she saw the little Fang Huai, the Fang Huai who stood timidly at the door of the welfare home, hiding behind the director, secretly looking at them.
At that time, Fang Huai was not called Fang Huai, but "Maimai".
He Lijun and her husband had been married for many years but had not been able to conceive. They went to the hospital for a check-up but no problems were found. After discussing for a long time, they decided to go to another place to adopt a child and raise him as their own.
The little boy who timidly came forward to greet them met all the couple's expectations of a child.
Cute, well-behaved and polite.
On the day she adopted Fang Huai, she had never been so happy. The little guy carefully held her fingers, and a warm current flowed through her body along the fingertips.
Fang Sijie stood by and watched her, moved to tears. The big locust tree beside her dropped its flowers one after another. "Maimai's surname will be Fang from now on."
"My name is Fang Huai."
He Lijun loved this child, this child whose heart and eyes were filled with her, but - when did they change? She changed, and Fang Huai also changed.
The child whose eyes were always filled with longing and attachment had changed. He became gloomy and cautious. Whenever he met her, he would immediately cover his head and hide in a corner. He Lijun's head felt like it was about to explode. In her mind, her mother's wrinkled lips opened and closed, "Daughter, Fang Huai hates us."
"Hate me, hate you, hate everyone."
Hate? He Lijun held Fang Huai's face, forced him to look directly into her eyes, and asked over and over again: "You hate me, don't you? You hate why I adopted you but didn't love you..."
He Lijun almost choked as she squeezed out the words with such conviction. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her voice was sharp and filled with despair. Just like when she was experiencing postpartum depression, she cornered Fang Huai and stared at him with a ferocious expression, "Why?"
"Why aren't you listening? Why aren't you listening, Fang Huai?"
He Lijun grabbed Fang Huai's shoulders and shook him like crazy, raising her hands high. "Pa!"
Fang Huai huddled in the corner of the sofa with a dead heart, closed his eyes, turned his head, and his fair face immediately swelled up.
He Lijun stood there in a daze, staring at her palm numbly. Fang Sijie quickly stepped forward and pulled his wife away, "Fang Huai!"
"You have to listen!" Fang Sijie pulled his wife, who was losing control of her emotions, behind him and acted as a peacemaker. He said to Fang Huai, "Correct your mistakes and have a good talk with Chen Mian later."
He Lijun's hands were still shaking. They were crazy. Everyone was crazy.
She clearly... After she knew that Fang Huai was in trouble, she was full of worry and anxiety.
She didn't come here to quarrel with Fang Huai. She just wanted Fang Huai to be obedient, to teach Fang Huai well, and to get him back on the right track. How could things turn out like this?
"I'm sorry." Fang Huai's mouth cracked, and he closed his eyes in despair. "I can't change."
"There is no habit in the world that cannot be changed. You just don't hang out with girls... Don't let your mother down." Fang Sijie advised earnestly, but Fang Huai got up and walked upstairs.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you."
"It's impossible for me to fall in love with a girl, let alone marry her. I can't be as sensible as you want me to be, and I can't be the good boy in your hearts." Fang Huai's shoulders slanted down slightly, and his thin back almost blended into the darkness.
His voice came from the darkness: "I'm sorry."
He Lijun suddenly collapsed to the ground. She looked at Fang Huai's back and asked, "Was it Li Xuan who led you astray? Or was it He Nian's boss?"
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