Chapter 68 Special
The warmth from the side of his cheek almost made Chen Luan instantly flash back to the dim light in the living room last night.
He suddenly jumped back as if in stress, his pupils trembling.
As if it wasn't a kiss,
But a red-hot iron.
With some difficulty, he squeezed out a hoarse voice from his throat: "...Jiang Xun."
The young man in front of him sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes as clear as glass looking at Chen Luan: "Yes, I'm here."
Then he handed the warm water to me, his voice calm and composed, "Are you feeling unwell? You seem to have drunk too much yesterday."
Chen Luan took the glass of water in a daze, his fingers pinching the warm wall of the cup, and his fingertips turned white due to the pressure.
He narrowed his eyes: "Last night..."
A slight sound of fabric rubbing against each other echoed in the somewhat stagnant air. Jiang Xun rested his palm on the cup, leaned forward, and tilted his head harmlessly, "We kissed last night, brother."
The pair of calm eyes drooped slightly, and the light-colored lips opened and closed slightly: "And——"
"...Shut up." Chen Luan's fingers suddenly curled up and wrinkled the corner of the quilt. He turned his head away from Jiang Xun's gaze and said, "Stop talking."
The tangled heartbeat wrapped around his chest like a vine, and Chen Luan felt a little breathless.
A burning red suddenly appeared behind his ears.
The touch of thinly calloused fingers caressing my body makes my scalp tingle when I recall it.
Chen Luan pinched his palms for a long time before he found his voice again. He looked up at Jiang Xun and said, "This is not right, Jiang Xun. I am your brother."
"You're the only one who thinks so."
Jiang Xun moved a little closer, so much so that Chen Luan could almost smell Jiang Xun's breath.
Those eyes drooped and swept across Chen Luan's lips: "Besides, you obviously don't hate it, right?"
“…”
Chen Luan's throat rolled over, but he couldn't utter a word.
After a moment, he pinched his brows in a headache. "Is it because I was too indulgent with you that your teenage hormones became so lost, Jiang Xun?"
At least don't...
This is too much.
"Do you think it's a loss of youth?"
The young alpha raised the corner of his lips and chuckled: "What about you? You obviously reacted too."
Chen Luan simply pushed Jiang Xun's shoulders away, got out of bed with warm water in his mouth and put on his shoes: "I am a healthy, normal adult male. That's just..."
He paused, the cup in his hand clattering onto the bedside table. Chen Luan turned back to look at Jiang Xun, steadying his heartbeat and voice. "It's just a normal physiological reaction. It doesn't mean anything."
As if trying to convince himself.
The bedroom window was opened by Chen Luan, and the damp chill of the early winter morning sneaked in through the curtains.
Chen Luan didn't look at Jiang Xun again, and was about to go out on his own. However, before his fingers could touch the handle, a warm hand grabbed his wrist.
A force pulled him backwards, as if trying to pull him into its arms.
Just the next second, a heavy muffled sound suddenly rang out in the air.
The hand that was holding Chen Luan's wrist was freed by Chen Luan, who flexibly twisted his forearm and pulled and swung it, causing his vision to blur.
The room fell silent.
Jiang Xun's arms were twisted behind his back by Chen Luan, and his whole body was restrained against the door, unable to move.
Chen Luan did not hold back his strength, so Jiang Xun's shoulder hit the cold, hard wood, causing a dull pain.
Chen Luan's voice, a bit chilly, came from behind: "I thought you would be more rational than that little bastard Jiang Ling."
Then the hand let go.
Jiang Xun turned around silently.
Chen Luan was standing in front of him, rubbing his wrist, glaring at him with half-closed eyes: "Jiang Xun, I'm your brother, you can't-"
"I tried."
His unfinished words were interrupted, and Jiang Xun looked at Chen Luan with misty eyes: "I tried to restrain myself, brother."
"I can't do that."
There was no accusation or pleading in those clear eyes, only an almost frank exhaustion, and a kind of confusing, incomprehensible, heavy emotion that had nowhere to go.
The room was so quiet that you could hear the faint sound of wind outside the window.
Jiang Xun just stared at Chen Luan with his rain-soaked eyes, like a trapped animal, and his voice was so soft that it seemed to be blown away by the wind:
"I've tried so hard to be just your brother like before. I tried."
He tilted his face slightly, lowered his moistened eyelashes, and twitched the corner of his mouth, as if trying to smile, but only a bitter arc of laughter dissipated in vain: "I thought I could... just accompany you, watch you, that would be enough. No matter what, as long as you are still by my side, it's fine."
The young man in front of me lowered his head, like a lost cub, who was so confused that he had no way to retreat and finally ran into the thorns.
Chen Luan's throat suddenly felt a little blocked, as if there was a ball of wet cotton wool blocking it.
"Jiang Xun, this is not right."
"But brother."
Jiang Xun looked at Chen Luan again, the mist in his eyes seemed to be even heavier, as if it would condense into steam in the next second. "You didn't hate me last night, did you? When I kissed you, you clearly didn't refuse."
Chen Luan's fingertips curled up unconsciously.
The feeling of the drunken, soft touch falling on him in the dim light resurfaced in his memory, so clear that it made his heart skip a beat.
He immediately looked away as if escaping, his jawline tightening slightly.
He wanted to say that I was drunk and couldn't count.
But at the same time, he also knew clearly that he actually didn't hate Jiang Xun's kiss.
This is terrible.
Jiang Xun didn't wait for Chen Luan's answer.
He just stretched out his hand cautiously and tentatively, and lightly hooked his knuckles on the corner of Chen Luan's sleeve, causing a touch that was so subtle that it was almost imperceptible but clearly there.
"I don't expect you to accept anything right now."
The voice was low and soft, with a hint of wet grievance: "I don't want you to respond to me now."
"I just can't hold on any longer."
The young alpha lowered his head slightly, the soft strands of hair falling down in front of his forehead, brushing against his equally drooping eyelashes, and the shadow covering half of his eyes: "I just hope, please don't push me away again, okay? Let me stay by your side."
When I looked up again, all that was left was a wet prayer that had been shattered into millions of pieces:
"I need you, I...I can't live without you."
The tone fell lightly and shattered in the silence.
Chen Luan's heart contracted uncontrollably, and his complicated emotions flowed up to his throat along the flow of blood, choking him there.
Then the fingertip hooked on the corner of the sleeve moved up slightly, like a cautious and tentative little snake, and quietly touched the skin on Chen Luan's wrist.
Rub it up slowly, little by little, until a closed loop is formed in silence and slightly tightened.
"……elder brother?"
“…”
Chen Luan frowned, pulled his wrist away, suppressed his chaotic emotions, and opened the door and went out: "Let's eat first."
The breakfast was eaten in great silence, as if even the air was frozen by the chill of early winter.
Before going out, Chen Luan, who had just changed his clothes, had his sleeve suddenly tugged.
Jiang Xun came out of the bathroom, holding a piece of deep blue in his hand: "I forgot to wear my watch, brother."
Chen Luan touched his empty wrist and was stunned for a moment.
Yes, I was so emotionally confused when I was washing up this morning that I forgot about it.
"Let me put it on for you."
My wrist was pulled up by the boy in front of me who had changed into a student uniform, and his warm fingers rested on my palm.
The cool metal touch gathered on the wrist bone and fastened with a "click".
"alright."
Chen Luan was a little absent-minded the whole day.
Starting tomorrow, this batch of freshmen will begin taking practical mecha classes, and Chen Luan doesn't even know how to face them.
Before seven o'clock, the outline of the city had slowly merged into a thick indigo blue.
The street lights are connected in series to form a bright river at the foot of the steel forest. The clusters of lights extend a small area of illumination, but they are engulfed by the increasingly cold night and begin to struggle to shine.
When Wu Ning and Zhou Pei were called by Chen Luan and arrived at the bar confused, it was already completely dark.
In the dim, swaying light, a folk singer was humming in a low voice about how young people didn't understand feelings in a small spot cast by the spotlight. Chen Luan was huddled in a small corner where the light couldn't reach, his eyes fixed somewhat blankly on the halo beneath the singer's feet.
The young man, dressed in black and wearing a baseball cap, exuded a confused and depressed aura, curled up on the sofa with his knees hugged.
Like a messy cat with its soul sucked out and its fur blown out.
Wu Ninggen and Zhou Pei exchanged a glance, then walked over and bent over to check Chen Luan's expression. "What's wrong?"
He looked confused and overwhelmed, as if his hair had been rubbed against his will.
Chen Luan, who was holding the cup, blinked and came back to his senses, then swallowed the liquid he had been holding in his mouth for a long time.
He pursed his lips, and after a long while, he looked at Wu Ning and said:
"Sister Ning, I seem to be broken."
"?"
Wu Ning's expression froze for a moment: "...What do you mean, broken?"
After ordering the drinks, Zhou Pei came over, glanced at the back of Chen Luan's neck which was covered by the ends of his hair, and then numbly looked away.
Oh, I'm posting something again.
He handed Wu Ning's Long Island Iced Tea over, then clinked his glass against Chen Luan's. Then, feeling something was wrong, he leaned over to take a closer look. "...No. You came to the bar for orange juice?"
Chen Luan: “…”
Don’t worry about it. I just don’t want to drink.
There is a psychological shadow.
Zhou Pei walked around to Chen Luan's sofa, put his elbows on the back of the sofa, looked at Chen Luan's calm and broken expression, and laughed: "Tell me, what did those two brats from the Jiang family do again?"
“…”
Chen Luan's fingers curled up and clenched the glass.
"Kiss."
"Oh." Zhou Pei nodded calmly: "Anything else?"
Judging from her expression, it doesn't look like they just kissed, otherwise she wouldn't have collapsed to this extent.
Chen Luan lowered his eyes silently and tapped the glass, as if he wanted to poke a hole in it.
"That means there is. If you don't want to tell me, then I won't ask." Zhou Pei took the half-empty cup from Chen Luan's hand and said, "Don't knock it."
He turned around and asked the waiter for a new cup.
"What does it mean if it's broken?"
Wu Ning came over and rubbed Chen Luan's hat: "Why is it broken?"
Chen Luan frowned slowly: "I don't think I like men. But I..."
I don't hate my brother's kiss.
This is not normal.
"Why are you so confused?" Wu Ning laughed. "Just try it and you'll know."
"?"
Chen Luan opened his mouth, a little confused: "Huh?"
Wu Ning placed the drink on the small table, raised his hand and grabbed Zhou Pei's collar and threw it in front of Chen Luan: "Here. Try it."
Chen Luan:?
What's going on?
Zhou Pei was the first to react. He looked at Wu Ning and smiled helplessly: "You really are—okay."
Looking at Chen Luan's somewhat confused eyes, Zhou Pei leaned closer.
The light scent of alpha's cologne wafted over.
The cold fingertips that had just held the wine fell on the back of Chen Luan's hand, then slowly moved up and pressed loosely on Chen Luan's forearm.
Warm breaths approaching.
Chen Luan frowned, and a sense of resistance slowly rose in his heart as the figure got closer and closer.
"stop."
Chen Luan raised his elbow, pressed against Zhou Pei's shoulder, and pressed the tip of his tongue against his teeth: "Don't come any closer."
Zhou Pei obediently stopped and stood up, shrugged at Wu Ning, and sat back on the sofa next to him.
The latter sipped his drink, raised his chin, and curled the corners of his lips towards Chen Luan: "What do you feel?"
"……dislike."
I can't accept it at all.
Wu Ning asked again: "What about them?"
Chen Luan was stunned.
The scene of a natural and intimate hug emerged in my mind again and again.
But he shook his head again: "Maybe, I'm just used to it?"
I'm used to close contact, so I don't reject their approach.
The brim of his hat was knocked. Chen Luan looked up and saw Wu Ning smiling in front of him: "Don't think about it. You are indeed special to them both."
Chen Luan frowned: "But——"
“There aren’t that many buts.”
Wu Ning interrupted Chen Luan: "Special doesn't mean anything, does it?"
She narrowed her eyes and looked at Chen Luan: "You remember what I said? Be nice to yourself and don't waste your energy on yourself."
"Does not rejecting something mean you like it? You don't have to force yourself to accept or reject something, right?"
A new glass of juice was handed over.
Chen Luan took it and took a sip.
Wu Ning clinked his glasses with Chen Luan and said, "However you want to handle this is entirely up to you."
She looked into Chen Luan's eyes and spread her hands: "It's okay if you don't deal with it."
Chen Luan blinked his confused eyes: "Not dealing with it?"
"Until you figure out your answer, the worst that can happen is that you just leave it alone. Set aside the dispute and maintain the status quo. Maybe it's just the excessive energy of adolescence that's causing this? It'll be fine after it passes."
Wu Ning swung his feet and ate some watermelon from the fruit bowl. "They're just two little brats. If they make you happy, I'll spoil them. If they make you unhappy, I'll beat you up. Brothers are very tough and can't be broken. Aren't you tired of thinking so much? The sky won't fall."
Then he handed a piece to Chen Luan as well: "Alright, stop worrying about it. It's not like you anymore. Have a watermelon?"
Chen Luan pinched the piece of watermelon, looked at Wu Ning who looked like "it's no big deal", and tightened his fingers.
After a moment, he shook his head, exhaled the foul breath that had been suppressed for a long time, and smiled with the corners of his lips curled up.
On the other side, the two Jiang brothers who were far away in the military academy and needed to live on campus had already returned to the dormitory.
When Jiang Ling came out after tidying up, she saw Jiang Xun silently looking at his phone screen with his eyes downcast.
The pheromones in the air are floating.
The clock on the table was approaching eleven.
"What's wrong?"
Jiang Xun raised his eyes: "Chen Luan didn't go home."
"? Where did you go?"
"bar."
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