Chapter 45 "Coo me."
The two walked towards each other, one walking fast and the other walking slowly, until the wide snow curtain between them became a narrow gap.
Seeing Jiang Yao's flushed cheeks and nose, and his hazy eyes, Duan Zhuxian said, "I guessed you could drink, so why are you going home now?"
The snow was falling thinly between the two of them, like some kind of constant barrier. Jiang Yao turned his head slightly and looked over Duan Zhuxian's shoulder. Duan Zhuxian's car was temporarily parked next to the green belt a few dozen meters away.
Duan Zhuxian should be the one that returns specifically.
You've already left, why come back?
Did you suddenly remember that there is a partner left behind?
Jiang Yao looked at Duan Zhuxian steadily, and nodded after a while.
Seeing Jiang Yao's slight hesitation, Duan Zhuxian thought he was drunk and slow to react.
The two walked towards the car together.
Jiang Yao put out his cigarette, looked straight ahead, and asked nonchalantly, "I heard from your classmates that you left early?"
Duan Zhuxian said "hmm".
Jiang Yao lowered his head and stared at the two shadows on the ground, holding his breath and waiting for a long time, but he didn't get any follow-up explanation from Duan Zhuxian.
It's quite normal. Duan Zhuxian never gives him any explanation.
Whether it was his refusal to acknowledge their friendship back then, or his later change of college entrance examination choice.
There was no need for him to argue over such a small matter, but he suddenly couldn't help but care about it. An unknown emotion was stirring in his chest, expanding unhindered.
Jiang Yao glanced to the side with his eyes under his eyelids.
In the night, Duan Zhuxian showed little emotion, his profile was clear and cold, and the slightly high collar of his winter school uniform covered his motionless Adam's apple.
All of this was incredibly familiar. Jiang Yao suddenly realized something and focused his mind, but he still couldn't stop the surging memories from flooding back.
It was as if the whole world had gone back to ten years ago, to that night of breakup.
It was the same school uniform, the same heavy snow, the same cold air. The knife-like snowflakes and the biting north wind cut a scar in his heart that never healed.
In fact, although it is a crack, there is no bleeding, it is just cold. If you leave it without any treatment, it will gradually become painless and almost negligible.
But Duan Zhuxian insisted on appearing again, entering his world in the most forceful way, occupying his life, and reminding him of the existence of this wound all the time.
Then, he recalled the first winter snow after he went to college. He went to Q University to spend Christmas with Chen Tang. Under Duan Zhuxian's planning, he met Chen Tang's girlfriend. Duan Zhuxian came specially and watched him laugh while stirring his coffee.
Snow plus Duan Zhuxian will make him sad.
The three almost form an established equation.
Perhaps it was some kind of stress response, Jiang Yao's drowsy brain suddenly became alert, as if something bad was approaching.
When they reached the green belt, their premonition reached its peak, and Jiang Yao couldn't help but preemptively say, "You know what, Duan Zhuxian, every time it snows, the person I least want to see is you."
Duan Zhuxian was stunned for a moment and said, "Is it because it snowed the day we had the fight?"
Jiang Yao chuckled: "So you still remember these little things."
Duan Zhuxian unlocked the car, walked around to the passenger seat, and said helplessly, "I understand. You were angry at that time because I confiscated your love letter. That was indeed my fault—"
Jiang Yao interrupted her with the following words: "You don't understand!"
The hand that was opening the car door for Jiang Yao paused, and Duan Zhuxian turned around and found that Jiang Yao was still standing under the street light three meters away, bathed in warm yellow light, but his expression was as cold as the snow in the air.
"What's a love letter? I'm angry about your attitude. I told you at the time that confiscating my love letter was your duty, and I understand. I didn't say anything angry. I'm not that unreasonable."
Jiang Yao spoke too quickly and was choked by the wind. He took a deep breath and his voice became much lower.
"I was jokingly saying that we were somewhat acquainted, so we should at least be flexible. Anyone with a conscience wouldn't be so cold-hearted. But you, not only did you deny it, you even walked away without looking back. You couldn't even come up with some polite words to appease me. You knew..."
You know I'm a soft-hearted person.
I will forgive you as long as you say something nice to me.
Looking at Jiang Yao's hesitant expression and his finger bones that clenched and relaxed again, Duan Zhuxian felt as if his heart was being pulled and suddenly felt a pain.
Over the years, he had always believed that Jiang Yao had broken off their friendship because of the love letter. Something he had painstakingly written was taken away without a word before it could even reach his beloved. With Jiang Yao's strong personality, this was definitely unacceptable.
But he was also angry at the time. Jiang Yao, who had promised not to fall in love too early, suddenly fell in love with someone else and summarized their more than two years of getting along as a casual "a little friendship".
The young man's useless self-esteem and unwillingness made him choose to avoid talking about it that night, for fear that the first word he would say was "I like you".
I remained silent for many years.
However, at this point, no matter how many excuses he made, it was useless. Whether he liked her too much or was timid and running away, he had already made Jiang Yao sad, and he had been sad for so many years.
He didn't even dare to recall how Jiang Yao had faced him. Every aggressive look and every sharp word he said were mixed with so much resentment and loss, and perhaps even a hint of expectation that he would apologize for walking away at that time.
"It's snowing heavily, can you please get in the car first?"
Duan Zhuxian said in a gentle voice, and took a few steps towards Jiang Yao. After seeing the pair of misty but stubborn eyes under the wind-blown hair, his heart ached again.
Jiang Yao averted his gaze, lowered his head, stared at the tip of his shoes for a few seconds, and when he raised his eyes again, a smile appeared at the corner of his lips, as if he was mocking himself.
"Actually, that night, I stood in the snow for a long time, waiting for you to come back and apologize, but you didn't show up."
Duan Zhuxian paused, and his eyes were turbulent again.
After he left that day, he came back once again and was treated as the last customer on Valentine's Day by the florist, who gave him a bouquet of irises.
But when he turned back it was too late, Jiang Yao had already left in disappointment.
If he had overcome his vain pride earlier, had begged Jiang Yao not to push him away, had he still wanted to maintain their original relationship, even if it was just ordinary friends with only a little acquaintance, then wouldn't the years he and Jiang Yao had missed each other repeatedly have had a new story? A story that was less fragmented?
The wind howled louder and louder, sweeping up the snowflakes close to the ground and stirring all the fragments of the two people's memories of the past into the same vortex.
He wanted Jiang Yao to get in the car first so that he wouldn't get frozen standing in the wind.
But Jiang Yao stared at him without fail, the corners of his eyes reddened by the biting cold. He spoke again, "That day when we were coming home from the racetrack, I sold you information about Duan Feiyi's gambling. You still owe me a reward, remember?"
His voice calmed down, but it was a little hoarse, as if it would break in the next second.
Duan Zhuxian's throat tightened: "I remember."
Jiang Yao nodded and took two steps closer to the man in front of him: "Duan Zhuxian, I want you to coax me now, right now."
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