-1-
The Love Maintenance Department is very busy today.
Because M from the Horror Maintenance Department has been on a business trip for six days.
So they hadn't been beaten for six days.
-2-
…The employees of the Love Maintenance Department have always been arrogant and easily walk around in a dizzy state (and get beaten).
Just look at Miss U who asked Mr. P a question: other colleagues would not rashly ask questions that would pry into Angel's private life, and other colleagues all sympathize with him.
Angels have endured so much, we should be kind to them.jpg
Miss U is different. She has no mercy in her heart. As long as M is not around, she often follows Mr. P, harassing him left and right and pressing him step by step.
Because Miss U has the kind of mysterious confidence that "the angel won't get angry and hit me anyway, I'm so beautiful."
...It's not really "secret confidence". Miss U is a genuine beauty. She is recognized as the number one in the charm ranking in the system world and also the number one in the "most wanted to date" ranking.
Her job is to play the role of a heartthrob in each small world, balance the infatuation and pursuit of men, and protect the peace of those exaggerated love worlds.
——In other words, he is a super Aquaman who is very good at keeping things level.
-3-
"But the award for 'Most Lovely Maintenance Employee' goes to Miss M. Every year."
Mr. P, who occasionally passed by the tea room and overheard his colleagues' office gossip, was puzzled: "Miss M is the cutest woman in the maintenance department, right?"
Colleagues: ...No, the "Cuteest Employee" award was given to M because she herself said, "I'm the cutest, so this award is mine," and no one dared to raise any objections and snatch the award from her!
"P, you're new here, so you might not know... The rankings released by the Operations Department are quite accurate... M, she..."
"I know Miss M doesn't have a good relationship with the operations department." Mr. P shook his head. "And she wasn't even on the list. This shows that the list was unfair from the beginning."
Colleagues: Because no one is calling for M to be included in the attractiveness rankings! She has absolutely nothing to do with the public's voice! ... What kind of brave person would include M in a discussion of attractiveness with the opposite sex in the tea room?!
"Although, I don't deny that my colleagues in the operations department are fair when ranking men... I've consistently ranked last on every list... My friendship with my seniors doesn't even count towards my charm... Haha, that's to be expected. I'm just an ordinary newcomer... and a clerical worker... Popularity has nothing to do with me..."
Colleagues: No! No! It was the public's support that allowed you to overcome all odds and enter the list, and it was the public's fear that kept you at the bottom! Angel is clearly the default hidden number one!
Do you know how many female colleagues wanted to give you gifts on Valentine's Day, but were scared off by the smiling M sitting on your desk with his legs crossed?
Why is it that your boss always climbs onto your desk to show off on Valentine's Day? Do you know how many opportunities you've missed to find love because of her?
-4-
...The angel doesn't know.
Although Mr. P would find his boss climbing onto his desk every Valentine's Day, he would always walk around her, move the documents he had left on the desk, and consciously change his workspace to the sofa.
As a straight-laced worker who has been single for 49 years, Mr. P has no idea about "Valentine's Day" but only work.
He's the kind of guy who can honestly tell his boss, "I sent you my resume because I thought you were unexpectedly cute," and "Your physique has nothing to do with being weak, so please open the soda bottle cap yourself," at the same time.
If he wants it, he wants it. If he doesn't want it, he doesn't want it. Even if his boss's knife is about to fall on his head, Mr. P will express himself honestly.
-5-
Moreover, Mr. P never thinks about the reasons why his boss goes crazy. His thoughts should be reserved for more valuable things.
If you try to figure out the reason why a mentally ill person is having a seizure, even if it is P, your brain will be overwhelmed.
So, if when you—
You open your office door to find your boss crawling onto your desk;
When I opened the elevator door, I found my boss lying in the hallway pretending to be dead;
You open the door and find your boss lying on the sofa eating the new jelly you bought;
You open the bathroom door to find your superiors taking a bubble bath in your tub;
I opened the delivery box and found my boss curled up inside, chewing bubble gum and playing with building blocks.
Mr. P’s friendly reminder: at times like this, just keep smiling and ignore it.
Bosses are like this, growing everywhere.
Normal. Very normal.
-6-
Ah, back to Valentine's Day.
In recent years, Miss M has begun to actively ask for flowers, gifts and chocolates.
But she was just lying on the sofa flipping through the Valentine's Day special issue, and she started directly with "Xiao P, buy it for me" without any subtle hints.
So Mr. P, who is handling the situation, will say, "I just brought you chocolate cookies for afternoon tea ten minutes ago. Why did you buy chocolate again? Please stop browsing snacks and come over to handle the complaint you created."
You should handle the complaints you created yourself.
"Hey, I don't want it—this chocolate has a nice box—Xiao P, buy it for me."
“It would be a waste if I couldn’t eat it all…”
"I want to buy it! Xiao P buy it for me—buy it for me—"
"...Okay, I'll buy it for you. Please stop kicking your feet at the ceiling. How old are you?"
-7-
Then Valentine's Day passed, and the next year in the Horrible Maintenance Department continued as usual.
-8-
Even if Ms. M had directly said, “Buy me roses,” Mr. P would have focused on handling the complaint and would have nodded and handed her the card without even glancing at her.
...My boss generates so many complaints. Why are there so many? I'd never be able to handle them all even if the world ends.
-9-
"But since you're talking about the charm of the opposite sex, Miss M should be the cutest woman in the maintenance department... no, in the system world."
Looking at his colleagues in the tea room, who were looking at each other in bewilderment, Mr. P once again raised a sincere question: "Isn't she cute?"
"...P.S., this can't be generalized..."
And no one except you would associate that scary guy with "cute".
She always says things like "Ms. M is a lot like a cat" and "Cats are really cute" - if you're not careful, you'll be brainwashed by your magical comments - but a cat is cute only if it can only wave its pink paws to scratch people -
The guy M was waving a lot of different claws.
That’s a black shadow sickle weighing over 4,000 kilograms!
The pen in that woman's hand can be used to pierce the throat!
Mr. P, however, gave his evidence very seriously: "This has nothing to do with danger. The seniors were talking about 'charm', right? You know, almost every man would approach her without knowing she was an M. Every time Ms. M went shopping, there were always a bunch of people offering to buy her food and drinks. She never lacked dancing partners in nightclubs."
……Well.
This is impossible to refute.
All employees know that one of Mr. P’s daily tasks is to save the opposite sex who come to chat up M.
-10-
Because Miss M really likes to wear little skirts and jump around to show how cute she is.
But once someone comes to compliment her on her cuteness and chats with her, Miss M will lose interest and find it annoying and dirty.
She finds it annoying when the other person talks, she finds it dirty when the other person gets close to her, and she finds it greasy when the other person just gives her a look without saying a word. In short, she just doesn't like it and has no interest in it.
So picky.
——So, no matter where she is, no matter what she is doing, as long as someone hits on Miss M, Mr. P has to rush over to save the other person within five seconds, otherwise he will receive a lot of complaints.
-11-
Mr. P has been dealing with complaints of this nature originating from pickup lines for decades, and he is exhausted.
"Dangerous and beautiful, with unconventional personalities and mysterious origins... Being attracted to this type of opposite sex seems to be human instinct. Isn't this often seen in fictional works? The evil and mysterious villain is always more popular than the protagonist."
Mr. P reached out to pour coffee. "Seniors, there's no shame in admitting your instincts. Miss M is undoubtedly the cutest woman in the System World, and the most attractive. 'Admired from afar, not to be touched' is all that matters... but that doesn't conflict with 'Miss M is the cutest.' If you want to refute that, please look at the mountain of complaints on my desk categorized as 'tragedies after being approached.'"
"...P, you're indeed pitiful, but those of us who know M's identity will definitely not..."
"The seniors probably only found out after they encountered tragedy after flirting with me."
“…”
-12-
The tea room was awkward for a moment, with only the sound of the coffee machine.
After a while, a colleague broke the awkward silence.
"Well, P, it's not appropriate to argue here about which female colleague is the most attractive... Anyway, if you've met Miss U, you'll know. That beauty truly deserves to be number one on the attractiveness rankings."
Mr. P picked up the full coffee cup.
"Sorry." He looked up and said, his face bright and sunny. "I've been wanting to ask since the beginning."
"Ms. U, who is it?"
-13-
——From that moment on, Miss U from the Love Maintenance Department officially became enemies with Mr. P.
...Miss U made a one-sided enemy, and Mr. P still didn't know her very well.
You know, for Miss U, who is a natural charmer and a sea king who can balance eighteen bowls of water at the same time, hearing the question "Who is it" from the opposite sex is undoubtedly the greatest insult.
At that time, after hearing the tea room conversation, Ms. U immediately decided to take action and lure Mr. P into her own fishing pond.
She asked the rhetorical question "Who?" and compared her to an unspeakable monster like M... What an insult! What a shame!
-14-
But angels cannot be caught.
"There's a movie tonight..."
"I'm sorry, but I refuse."
"We can go together..."
"I'm sorry, but I refuse."
"Candlelight dinner also..."
"I'm sorry, but I refuse."
Mr. P always refused with an angelic smile: "I'm busy with work. I'm really sorry, senior. I won't go to the Love Maintenance Department's team building."
Ms. U: So I told you this isn't a department team-building event! It's a date! A date!
——And what are you busy for? Unless you’re working overtime, you disappear from the office as soon as 5:30 p.m. and you can’t find you no matter how hard you look!
...And why do you have such a wide range of interests?! I've already filled four folders with background research and I'm still not done!
-15-
Halfway through the attack, the extremely angry Miss U decided to play hard to get.
She changed her ambiguous and clingy attitude and walked arm in arm with other male colleagues in front of Mr. P for three whole days, behaving in an extremely intimate manner.
Mr. P was busy dealing with Ms. M's complaint and didn't notice it at all.
...Miss U had no choice but to pull the male actor over, push away his documents, and show him the ring on her hand.
"Hey, P, I'm getting engaged—"
Mr. P, who was forcibly pulled out from a table full of complaints, blinked blankly.
Miss U: You’re going to be angry and jealous, right? Hehehe, if the woman who has been pestering you changes her target to another man, you’re definitely going to be unhappy and jealous!
The more resolute a man is in saying no, the easier it is to waver in his heart. I understand, I understand. This is a textbook example of tsundere. As long as he's jealous, he'll—
"Ah, congratulations, Senior, on your happy marriage. Now, could you please stop blocking my light?"
...It doesn't matter, he's just being stubborn! Just being stubborn! Just wait, he'll come back to me the next day -
-16-
Then the next day, Ms. U received a gift from Mr. P.
Offering with both hands is especially polite.
-17-
...Miss U deeply understood that the angel's rejection was a real rejection.
He will treat you sincerely, so he will also reject you sincerely.
Miss U angrily gave up playing hard to get and expanded the strategy research from four folders to seven folders.
So she continued to discover Mr. P's more numerous and richer hobbies, so rich that Miss U almost ran away when she was following him, and secretly cursed in her heart that this guy would never be able to find a girlfriend.
Even if he finds her, his girlfriend will definitely be a monster with extremely high fighting power.
...Compared to the calm and gentle impression he gives off in the office, this guy spends his private time in a completely different way...
So happy!
So energetic!
He was so energetic that Miss U, who was following behind him, was panting like a dog.
It feels like chasing a big golden retriever around the world that hasn't been walked for three months.
-18-
To be honest, she originally thought he was a nerd obsessed with coding.
A civil servant with a very good temper, treats people sincerely, has no popularity with women, and deals with code data all year round.
The guys with these labels combined together are the easiest type to deal with, and she can just snap her fingers to get them.
…But why! Why would someone, after working overtime for two days in a row, go bungee jumping instead of going home to catch up on some sleep?!
Why can you surf, skateboard, bungee jump, cook, arrange flowers, roller skate and rock climb in your after-get off work time?
Your working hours and the working hours of normal office workers are definitely not in the same dimension!
You actually have time to get a diving certification!
...You're so free, but you can't spare five minutes to go on a date with me?!
Can you spin hundreds of times in the ice valley by yourself but can’t squeeze out five minutes to date a beautiful colleague?
-19-
Following Mr. P after get off work shocked Ms. U's world view.
As time went by, she forgot all about seduction and fishing, and the only thing in her mind was "Oh my god".
…Honestly, this is definitely not how normal people spend their free time.
He's the one with the problem, right? The one with the problem is that blond, blue-eyed angel with the soothing smile. The guy who jumped down from the Empire O Building with that super soothing smile must have a problem.
After being brought up, he actually said to the panicked onlookers in a very cheerful manner, "Don't worry, I'm just decompressing after get off work"...
Ms. U: To relieve stress, just go and make instant noodles.
-20-
She doesn't understand.
It turns out that the employees in the horror maintenance department all have problems with their brains.
By the way, when Miss U was caught by Miss M during the fishing (investigation) process, her detailed investigation in seven folders saved her life more than once.
"Oh, so Xiao P likes to play this - thank you, it seems very interesting, I will go check it out -"
...Mr. P, who was happily enjoying his private time, was attacked by his boss again.
-twenty one-
"Please don't come out of my backpack, Ms. M. I'm climbing a cliff."
"It seems very interesting - Little P, Little P, the view up there is really nice! By the way, can I step on your hand?"
"Can't."
-twenty two-
...In short, Miss U has no mercy on angels.
Even though M started to persecute Angel even more severely after snatching the folder, she was too guilty to do a background check and had no mercy.
Um.
She just wanted to fish to get revenge on him. It was because this man was so unromantic and had no taste.
However, Miss U tried her best and spent decades...
Didn't catch him either.
...In the end, her relationship with Mr. P was elevated from "Who is that?" to an ordinary colleague who could play truth or dare during team-building.
Even M didn't catch her, and let her hook his own employees——
Miss U swore that she discovered the bad taste of "watching monkey shows" in the eyes of that terrifying devil.
-twenty three-
So Miss U began to give up on herself, gave up fishing and turned to harassment.
An angel anyway.
Anyway, the angel won’t hit me.
If I can't catch him, I'll just annoy him. Annoy him to death. Hahahaha!
...Angel wouldn't hit her, but he would complain after his boss came back from a business trip.
A complaints handling employee is also very good at complaints.
"Ms. M, Ms. U from the Love Maintenance Department tried to follow me to the bathroom again while you were away. I want to complain to you about workplace sexual harassment" -
-twenty four-
Then M will take action, and then nothing will happen.
-25-
At certain moments, Mr. P would never stop Ms. M. He said that sexual harassment in the workplace absolutely needs to be properly punished and stopped.
Even if the person who sexually harassed him was Miss M herself, Mr. P would still firmly express his refusal.
...But Miss U's punishment was a dark shadow and unspeakable terror behind her, while Miss M's punishment was just less peanut butter on her lunch toast.
Who knows.
-26-
So, every time after encountering M, Miss U would cry bitterly and say sorry to Mr. P.
But she still dares to do it next time.
They still follow him whenever they have time, and still chase him around and ask him about all kinds of details about his private life. Mr. P is so annoyed that he just smiles, nods, and walks around when he meets his colleagues from the Love Maintenance Department.
...There's nothing I can do. Although Miss U's behavior is annoying, it's not really a problem with her character.
This is generally the case for the employees in the Love Maintenance Department.
They all lack self-awareness and are overconfident in some subtle areas.
So it is easy to break down their defenses, and once they do, they will become unreasonable and their mental age seems to be only in the third grade of elementary school.
So Mr. P wouldn't do much besides complain... Although all his complaints were directly reviewed by Ms. M, he didn't need to do anything else...
-27-
Ms. M said in a meeting that the employees in the romance department had suffered so much damage to their brains and personalities that it could be considered a work-related injury.
In the system world, businesses related to the element of "love" always make employees feel dizzy.
...As for love, running this business to the extreme, being a heartthrob in every little world, and emitting hormones on a daily basis does not require employees to be confident all the time.
An employee who has been a heartthrob for centuries, living in the pursuit of the opposite sex and the envy of the same sex, the interpersonal relationships in his mind are nothing more than "the guy who has a crush on me" and "the guy who secretly has a crush on me"...
Such employees are a disaster in ordinary relationships with colleagues.
Especially some employees with outstanding performance are really charming and are easily sought after by their colleagues.
I can't tolerate even the slightest neglect from others.
You know, the Love Operations Department is recognized as the "most annoying department" in the system world, so the Love Maintenance Department's problem of being easily distracted is considered good.
-28-
Because the employees of the Love Maintenance Department are often beaten by M Repair (poison).
Although it is easy to feel dizzy, it is also easy to stay awake.
It was only after Ms. U suffered a setback with Mr. P that she gradually integrated into normal relationships with colleagues and learned to deal with daily life without being in love.
Oh, don't get me wrong, Miss M's daily repairs to the Love Maintenance Department are not due to Miss U's one-sided entanglement with Mr. P. Now every time Miss U comes to entangle Mr. P, M will just eat popcorn and watch the show. She is so happy.
Giggling with joy.
She laughed so hard that Mr. P was worried that she would spill the popcorn in his hand.
The reason why the Love Maintenance Department has become the place where Miss M goes to intimidate from time to time.
This is because there are also male employees in the Love Maintenance Department who are similar to Miss U.
These people are the famous men's group of the Love Club - three extremely handsome guys. It is said that when doing tasks, they can complete the quota just by showing their faces -
Mr. A, Mr. B, Mr. C.
They directly harassed Ms. M herself.
...The reasons for the harassment are similar to Mr. P’s questions, both of which are weird trains of thought like “Why don’t you think I’m attractive?”, “There’s something wrong with you?”, “I must pursue you”, “You really have a problem with your brain”, “If I can’t pursue you, I’ll annoy you to death”.
However, if some things happen to an angel with a very good temper, she will just laugh it off and will not get angry no matter how annoying it is. She may even help the stupid Miss U with a bad brain to integrate into normal colleague relationships.
But the same thing happened to Miss M...
-29-
That's the horror story.
-30-
ABC are recognized as the top 3 handsome male employees and a recognized hormonal men's group.
The image of them wearing masks of pain, wearing only flowered shorts, and hanging upside down on the door of the office building is one of the ten most famous scenes in the history of the maintenance department.
Just imagine the most handsome guy in the world.
Then imagine their facial features twisted into a ball in agony, being hung up like dried salted fish, with snot and blood dripping down their faces.
...Shocking, right?
That scene was shocking.
-31-
The reason for this famous scene is very simple, because the three handsome guys ABC were having a great time drinking in a nightclub. After that, they encouraged each other and invited the dancing Miss M to have a 4P with them.
...and then nothing happened.
And the angel who always saves everyone at the critical moment didn't even come to stop Miss M that time.
Three colleagues from ABC had the opportunity to experience the entire repair process of M.
She even swapped the crowbar for a bar stool midway through.
"I was peeling oranges in the corner and didn't notice them, so I missed the best time to rescue them and had to continue eating oranges," Angel explained to his colleagues with a smile.
...Who knows.
-32-
According to Ms. U who followed him, Mr. P was clearly standing next to Ms. M handing the peeled orange.
The screams and mosaics happened right in front of the tip of his shoes.
But he just continued to put on a healing smile and fed orange slices to his boss who was waving the bar stool.
-33-
...Well.
Can't blame the angels either.
It is indeed easy to concentrate on peeling an orange, and Miss M ate the orange but not the white beard. The angel who was busy picking out the white beard said that she didn't pay attention, so she definitely didn't pay attention.
-34
From then on, the three handsome guys ABC were terrified when they talked about M. Whenever they saw M's back, they would retreat eighty meters and cry and send messages to Mr. P for help, begging him to take M away.
Mr. P comes to their rescue every time. He is truly an angel.
-35-
From this we can see that work-related injuries are indeed a serious problem for employees.
Employees in the Love Maintenance Department can easily become love-obsessed, while employees in the Career Maintenance Department can easily become lonely and obsessed with their careers...
The Horror Maintenance Department does not have this problem at all.
Ms. M: "I have no interest in love or career. I just want to have fun~"
Mr. P: "Same here. As long as my boss is happy, I just hope there will be fewer complaints."
Ms. U, who came to interview the operations department that day: "..."
-36-
"Don't you think," she deadpanned, "that sometimes life needs a little romance?"
Ms. M: "Hahahahahaha... cough, hehe... ah cough cough... haha..."
Mr. P: "Ms. M, please be careful with your water. Even though your colleague's jokes are funny, you can't choke on them."
Ms. U: One of you two should have the love brain and win over the other completely.
-37-
...However, unfortunately, the Horror Maintenance Department does not have a love brain.
This department rejects love to the point of mysophobia.
Leaving aside the angel with a very good temper, he sometimes makes the single dog statement of "having a partner is probably not bad", and sometimes he makes the strange statement of "having a partner might make it easier to die" -
Miss M’s attitude towards love is “yue”.
Simply "yue".
So much so that, at this moment, on the sixth day after her business trip, all the employees of the Love Maintenance Department decided to go to the Love Operations Department next door for a party to celebrate.
When two annoying people get together, they can release hormones to each other freely.
When Mr. P arrived at work, he saw them happily unfurling a banner that read, "Celebrating the sixth day of M's business trip, hoping it will be six hundred years since M left the company."
Mr. P: “…”
-38-
Should I tell them that Miss M returned from a business trip last night and will come to work this morning?
She'll be at the door in about ten minutes, and she's currently taking a nap in my car, pulled up under a blanket.
-39-
While he was considering, Mr. B, who was directing his colleagues to hang banners, turned his head.
"Yes, P! Long time no see, are you coming to the social? Hahaha, just kidding, no woman would be interested in you with this handsome guy around, haha!"
With such confidence, it turned out that Miss M hadn't had her hair repaired for six days.
Mr. P nodded good-naturedly. "Of course. Good morning, Senior."
"This morning I was thinking about the past. Such a good day for socializing—" Mr. B sighed, "Do you remember, P? I invited that M to come play with us, but she was so short-sighted. Is she mentally ill or has poor eyesight…"
"Really? I don't remember clearly."
-40-
After a few pleasantries, Mr. P smiled and said goodbye to his colleagues who were busy preparing for the social gathering.
Well, no additional notice is necessary.
Miss M will come to work today, and everyone will definitely notice it at the first sight.
After all, the seniors have such good eyesight.
The author has something to say: Mr. P’s way of expressing “I care a little bit” is very simple.
Just let go of the hand that is holding M back.
You temporarily lost the protection of the angel.jpg
Mr. P (smiling): Anyway, the seniors have good eyesight. No need for me to remind them.
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