Chapter 15 The fool takes the bait
A few years ago, when Jiang Ranxu just changed his job, Meng Weishen asked him to remove his second wisdom tooth.
On the day of his appointment for stitch removal, Meng Weishen worked late again, and the outpatient building had already closed. Jiang Ranxu spent some time working on his paper, and around eight o'clock that evening, the sound of Meng Weishen's hurried footsteps finally rang out in the corridor.
"Sorry, sorry, the product manager called us into a meeting last minute, and we started arguing again. It's only now coming to an end." Meng Weishen took off his shoulder bag but didn't dare sit down. He rubbed the hem of his clothes with the back of his hand. "I see everyone at the reception has left. Isn't it too late today? Can we still remove the stitches?"
Nonsense, you also know it’s too late? Working those stupid overtime shifts every day, and dying suddenly before spending all your salary. Jiang Ranxu cursed in his heart.
But Director Tan had taught him that when transitioning from a public hospital to a private one, one's work approach should also change, and a strong sense of service should be established. The most important thing was to maintain absolute patience with patients, to the point of making them feel a subtle sense of guilt. Then their wallets would be at your mercy.
So he patiently changed into a pair of plastic gloves and gestured for Meng Weishen to lie down on the dental chair. Sister Ni had already applied a disposable film to the dental chair before leaving work, and had sterilized the instruments, waiting for the last patient to arrive.
"It's okay. It's just a stitch removal. No anesthesia is needed. It won't take long."
Director Tan's trick was indeed effective. Meng Weishen quickly lay down on the dental chair, ready to be slaughtered.
The moment he turned on the operating light, the ceiling light in the clinic flickered several times before going out completely. The sound of the air conditioner also died down. The room seemed to be shrouded in a thick blanket, and everything fell into silent darkness.
Jiang Ranxu had just picked up the scissors for removing stitches, but he didn't dare move them. Once his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could make out the general outline, he put the sharp instrument back into the tray.
Meng Weishen half-propped himself up, opened his eyes and looked at him, his pupils glowing slightly in the darkness.
He felt it necessary to reassure the patient: "Perhaps someone accidentally flipped the switch in the hallway. Wait, the phone should ring soon."
"Even the front desk has gone off duty. I haven't seen anyone else since I arrived. Unless it's a ghost flipping the switch, no one has ever died in your dental clinic, right?" Meng Weishen looks like a staunch materialist, and he's not afraid to talk about ghosts and gods. "It's most likely the circuit breaker tripped. Our company had one a while ago, too much pressure on the air conditioner power supply. I'll go check it out."
Meng Weishen jumped off the dental chair easily, used the lighting function of his mobile phone to dispel a small section of darkness, and walked out of the clinic.
Although Meng Weishen didn't seem to need his reassurance, Jiang Ranxu hadn't forgotten Director Tan's teachings: personal service must be thorough and patients must never be left alone (mainly to prevent them from running away). He quickly removed his gloves and followed in his footsteps, entering the corridor one after the other.
There was indeed no one in sight in the corridor. Darkness enveloped the entire outpatient building, with only the emergency lights on the walls emitting a faint green glow.
Meng Weishen's voice came from the front: "Doctor Jiang, where is the power box?"
Jiang Ranxu had just started working there, so he could only try to recall: "It shouldn't be next to my clinic. I don't have any impression of it at all."
"Let me think about it." Meng Weishen pondered for a moment before an idea flashed through his mind. "Let's go to the CT room first. The main electrical equipment in the outpatient clinic is placed there. Logically, the power box should also be installed nearby."
Jiang Ranxu was a little surprised.
During the first few consultations, Meng Weishen was always very reserved, even making a joke of walking into the wrong clinic. It was as if cats and dogs had just transformed into human form and had not yet fully adapted to the rules of human society.
But the Meng Weishen before him seemed clear-minded and decisive. He even wondered if he was the same Meng Weishen in his memory.
Just as he lost consciousness, a sudden, loud bang pierced his eardrums, leaving a ripple of vibrations in his skull. His brain immediately triggered his survival instinct, trying to find the source of the noise, but the darkness narrowed his vision.
It was almost early autumn, and the air conditioning in the corridor seemed to be turned up too high. Jiang Ranxu suddenly pulled himself out of his thoughts and shuddered subconsciously.
Meng Weishen groped over and touched the back of his hand with his fingertips, which felt dry and warm.
"Don't be afraid, it must be the wind that blew down the green ivy." Meng Weishen shone the backlight of his mobile phone over, "You can come closer to me."
The other party's ability to read people's expressions hasn't changed, and is basically at the same level as a cat or dog.
Medical students might fear cockroaches, the director, and blind dates, but they certainly wouldn't be afraid of ghosts. He'd taken anatomy classes in undergraduate school, where he'd had the privilege of working closely with formalin-soaked human tissue, learning how to cut through wrinkled skin and observe the internal structures soaked in corpse oil. To prepare for his final exams, he'd even sneaked into the anatomy lab late at night and retrieved his cadaver instructor from a wall of mobile metal cabinets. Whenever a figure sat in one of those cabinets, the situation would shift from a final-year crisis to a biohazard.
But he wants to provide full emotional value to the patient: "Thank you, I feel much better because you are here."
Meng Weishen slipped behind him again and gently pushed his back: "Let's go to the CT room. You lead the way, I'll cover you."
Meng Weishen's reasoning was correct, and they indeed found the power box near the CT room.
The other person was tall enough to open the electrical box door by standing on tiptoe. He focused the cell phone beam on a row of crimson switches and tried the reset button and the main switch, but the situation didn't change.
"Can you do it yourself? Be careful of electric leakage..."
Jiang Ranxu's dissuasion was not timely; Meng Weishen had already begun pushing the disconnect switches one by one. With a series of crisp clicks, like a spell summoning light, the overhead fluorescent lights flickered, filling the corridor with light once again.
Meng Weishen's face lit up. "There's something wrong with the branch circuit at the front desk. I'll just turn off the branch circuit breaker and push the main circuit breaker. Let's let the property management know tomorrow and have them send someone to inspect it."
"Have you learned it?"
"Learning programming doesn't necessarily mean you know how to repair electrical boxes. Code and circuits are two different things," Meng Weishen said. "I learned this because I lived in an old residential complex when I was a kid. The circuits were old and the circuits were always tripping. I taught myself."
Jiang Ranxu praised: "I see, you are a genius."
Meng Weishen was a little embarrassed. "It's very simple. Just look for some guides online and you'll understand it at a glance."
"Since you can repair it, I don't need to understand it."
As long as there is light, wisdom tooth stitches can be removed in minutes.
After seeing Meng Weishen off, Jiang Ranxu was ready to leave work. While disinfecting the clinic, he belatedly realized that Meng Weishen had just touched the back of his hand.
To his surprise, he didn't feel the slightest bit of disgust.
Scholars and philosophers throughout history have defined love as something sublime and profound. In reality, love is simply a physiological reaction that increases one's heart rate, triggers the release of dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline, and can even help one overcome stubborn psychological barriers.
Just then, Meng Weishen sat beside his bed, carefully wiping the sweat from his forehead with a tissue. Far from resisting, Jiang Ranxu's mind instead conjured up even more intimate fantasies: skin pressed against skin, lips entwined. Amidst the intense heat of his forehead, everything seemed veiled in a dark red, frosted surface, impossible to imagine clearly. His heart, too, surged with a wave of water, a stirring of both itchiness and pain.
Meng Weishen discarded the fifth batch of sweat-soaked tissues, his brows knitted with worry. "If you have a fever again, you'll have to go to the hospital. You're covered in cold sweat."
"No, it's just a nightmare."
"What did you dream about?"
Jiang Ranxu didn't want to talk about the details of the dream and deliberately avoided the topic. "I'm fine. A fever won't kill you. You finally have a vacation, don't waste your time on me. Why don't you go on a blind date today?"
Having said that, when Meng Weishen covered his upper abdomen with the heated hot water bottle, Jiang Ranxu still took the opportunity to hold half of the other's arm.
"That requires someone to go on a blind date with me," Meng Weishen said distressedly. "Sister Yan is out of luck. The people who privately messaged me on Little Digu's blind date post are all of the same sex. After just a few words, they start posting pictures of their genitals. The key is that the pictures are all ugly."
Jiang Ranxu's heartbeat suddenly intensified, and he quickly cut off the relationship: "That's what gay men are like. They have no manners."
Meng Weishen was probably deeply affected by the thirsty gay men, and the arc of his nodding in agreement was enough to break his neck.
Jiang Ranxu had concealed his feelings successfully, but he didn't feel relieved. The issue that had once tormented him was once again before him—the question of Meng Weishen's sexual orientation.
Reasonably, as long as the other party doesn't say it explicitly, he should assume that the other party is straight. Rather than forcing the other party to say it explicitly, it is better for him to give up on his own.
But there is always a trace of obsession in his heart.
Jiang Ranxu treated it as a casual chat and said casually, "Meng Weishen, can't you accept homosexuality? Not at all?"
Meng Wei was bewildered and asked, "Why are you asking this?"
There was a brief silence in the room.
His heart sank, a dull pain in his stomach. Jiang Ranxu didn't want to ask any more futile questions, so he slowly let go of the other person's arm and was about to think of a way to smooth things over, but Meng Weishen had already thought about it and replied, "It's not impossible at all..."
"So we can still try?" Jiang Ranxu became anxious and interrupted the other party with a follow-up question.
Meng Weishen finally uttered a complete sentence: "If there is someone of the same sex as you, I would probably be willing to give it a try."
"What do you mean by like me?"
Meng Weishen's language skills were really lacking, and he was struggling to find an adjective: "Just... you definitely won't send me a picture of your lower body."
That only meant he had the basic qualities of an internet user. Jiang Ranxu was a little disappointed: "That's it."
"And you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen in real life." Meng Weishen spoke faster than he could think, and quickly explained, "I was talking about your face, not your lower body."
"that's all?"
"A lot. You're very professional and patient with every patient. You're also very considerate of me, often praising me. I feel very comfortable around you." Meng Weishen had already revealed a long string of shameless sincerity before he slowly realized the atmosphere was off and began to stutter. "Doctor Jiang, don't mind me. I don't mean anything else. I mean... you're perfect, and I want to be as perfect as you."
In this mundane and boring world, Meng Weishen always managed to surprise him. Surprises could mean shocks, or they could mean delightful surprises. Either way, it was better than a stagnant state. Thus began his obsession.
Jiang Ranxu clung to his remaining obsession. He and Meng Weishen confirmed repeatedly, "You said this. You're not drunk or feverish now, so I'll take what you said as true."
——
"There were many times when I wanted to give up. Being single for the rest of my life isn't a big deal. I've already prepared myself mentally."
Jiang Ranxu had half a bottle of Peat Monster left on New Year's Eve, which his friend Asher had saved for him. But he didn't want to experience the pain of a hangover again, so today he chose hot Butterbeer, which has an alcohol content of less than 5%.
Spring Festival is peak dating season, and Asher's matchmaking business is booming even more than the bar scene. Eight customer service representatives lined up with their phones, their hands illusory as they replied to his messages. They could only manage a perfunctory response: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, just give up. Your lover is handsome, but he has a straight-man vibe. You gay men are all being victimized by straight men."
"you?"
"You guys. I never mess with straight guys."
Jiang Ranxu's lips touched the foam floating on the surface of the wine. The sweet and light taste teased his tongue. "But he said that if there was someone of the same sex as me, he would be willing to give it a try. Moreover, I have tried to have physical contact with him many times, and he never resisted."
Asher scoffed, quite disdainfully. "What a clichéd gay-straight-love storyline. Next time, the straight guy should say, 'I wish you were a girl.' How old are you? And you're still so gullible."
Jiang Ranxu suddenly put down his glass, opened his arms, and confiscated Asher's eight customer service phones at once. The phones piled up like a mountain beside him, forcing Asher to divert his attention.
"Zhou Xian, go find out if he's straight." Jiang Ranxu called the man by his real name and ordered solemnly, "You can try to introduce him to a same-sex blind date, but don't reveal that I asked you to go."
"Is the blind date you're introducing you yourself?" Asher's face was filled with panic, like Benbo Ba being singled out to eliminate Tang Sanzang and his disciples. "Jiang Ranxu, listen to my advice. You should stay single for the rest of your life. It's better than getting involved with straight men!"
Jiang Ranxu should really listen to the advice.
Previous generations have shared countless failed experiences of confessing to straight men, and the outcomes are nothing more than the following:
The first type is being treated as a pervert by homophobic straight men and posted on social platforms, where they are widely ridiculed and criticized.
The second type is having a one-night stand with a closeted straight man, only to find upon waking up that their contact information has been blocked.
The third option is to be politely rejected by a married straight man. There is a chance that a hidden plot will be unlocked where the straight man and his girlfriend complain that gay men are disgusting.
He was determined to escape his fateful loneliness, but he had to think of a smarter way than confessing.
Jiang Ranxu continued his strategic deployment: "Don't introduce me first, that's too deliberate. You should do this: introduce a few ugly ones first, and then wait until he's desperate after blind dates, and then introduce me last."
"Why is that?"
"Haven't you seen Flirting Scholar? Qiuxiang's appearance is just like that. Her beauty mainly depends on the background."
"You're fucking sick! You're hooking up with a straight guy and you think you're the star of a movie." Asher couldn't help but scold him. "Go and torture other matchmakers. I have basic professional ethics, which is not to mess with straight men."
Asher snatched the eight cell phones and kicked a chair as he stood up, making a sharp noise. He found a quiet corner and continued his matchmaking career.
Jiang Ranxu was as persistent as a ghost. He wandered over, leaned close to the other person's ear, and whispered a string of bewitching demonic whispers:
"I just remembered that our hospital has a long-term medical device supplier. The company has applied for hundreds of patents and is considering listing on the A-share market. If you can help me get it done, I will definitely try to get you a connection."
Judging from Asher's awful appearance, he really looks more like a vagrant and a swindler than the elites of the three middle and one Chinese investment banks.
Due to the economic situation, Asher's main investment banking business had been closed for six months, and he was skeptical of the olive branch he extended: "Is this a fabrication?"
"If you don't believe it, forget it."
Jiang Ranxu pretended to pay the bill and leave.
"...I'll go, isn't it okay for me to go?" Asher quickly grabbed him and said, "Let's get down to business. Considering our friendship, I'll waive the referral fee. But if the straight guy calls me a pervert, you have to pay me at least 30,000 yuan in compensation for emotional distress."
——
Jiang Ranxu had been trying to figure out how to find Meng Weishen's "Little Digu" account. Unexpectedly, the app's content recommendation mechanism was quite advanced. As soon as he downloaded the app, a dating post with over a thousand comments popped up on the homepage, featuring Meng Weishen's photo.
Jiang Ranxu pushed it to Asher.
Asher had two SIM cards in each of his phones, each registered with a small Digu account. Sixteen accounts in total took turns sending same-sex dating ads to Meng Weishen's private messages. To counter Meng Weishen's stereotype of gay men, the ads used pure love rhetoric like "together day and night, together until old age."
Jiang Ranxu has prepared himself mentally for a long-term battle. He wants to use the blind date as an opportunity to slowly influence the straight man's heart in a subtle way.
Things progressed much faster than he had imagined.
The Spring Festival holiday had just ended, and Meng Weishen replied to the one with the most followers among Asher's sixteen accounts.
It was obvious that Meng Weishen was completely captivated by the matchmaker's artistically crafted language. The next day, they met in person for a detailed chat.
Meng Weishen did not resist same-sex blind dates, proving that his bet was correct.
That night, the bedroom air seemed to be filled with buttery foam, spawning countless sweet and intoxicating fantasies. Jiang Ranxu was immersed in the ecstasy of a successful gamble, floating on the foam, but because he couldn't find his footing, he felt a sense of anxiety. He was completely sleepless and got up to turn on the shower. The heat wave clouded his vision through the frosted glass, and his fantasies became more and more rampant, and he released them in the heat.
I just kept my eyes open until the agreed time the next day.
Jiang Ranxu kept a close eye on Asher's phone. Following their plan, Asher found an excuse to leave and called him, but his tone sounded frantic:
"Jiang Ranxu, you have to pay me for mental damages! At least fifty thousand yuan!"
"Why, is Meng Weishen really a straight man?"
"It's hard to say. After chatting for a long time, I still don't understand whether he is straight or not. I just know that he has a bizarre blind date request."
Jiang Ranxu remained calm for the moment, "What's your request? Tell me."
"The requirement is to find a man and marry him as soon as possible, the sooner the better! This isn't a marriage with a marriage certificate, this is a fake marriage played out with family, at least six months, at most a year. Holy crap, is his family an LGBT pioneer family? Should heterosexuals be expelled from the family tree and must find male wives to cover up their sexual orientation?"
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