Chapter 23 No Divorce
"From today on, we will play the role of a newly married same-sex couple, ready to deal with your mother's sudden attack at any time. In pursuit of true love, we will rebel against worldly views and feudal families."
"Huh? Oh, that seems to be the case, but what's with all the Romeo and Juliet plot going on afterwards?"
After three years of working at a major company, Meng Weishen had developed a high tolerance for caffeine. He downed another hot flat white with triple espresso, his heart rate pounding, his mind still not fully clear.
He felt like he was back in high school. The sky was barely brightening, a white silhouette of the moon still lingering on the horizon. He was shaking like a sieve in the cold wind, scribbling like a stray dog. But those around him were incredibly excited, shouting, "100 days to prepare for the X exam!"
...No, how come it has developed to the point where I have to prepare for the marriage exam for a hundred days?
Jiang Ranxu reminded him gently and timely: "I agreed to marry you last night. Now you have to find a way to deceive your mother. You said that your mother catches couples in premature love every day, so it's hard for her to be deceived."
Meng Weishen suspected that his work had drained his brain and nearly forgotten his original intention of marrying Jiang Ranxu. He nodded repeatedly: "Yes, yes, thanks for reminding me. So what should we do?"
"Of course, we're going to do things that only newlyweds would do," Jiang Ranxu said. "Don't worry, I've already made a to-do list. Just follow me."
"There's still a to-do list? Let me see."
Jiang Ranxu refused to show it to him. "There's nothing to see, and you don't need to prepare in advance. You'll know when it's your turn."
...You're too ambitious. You've already prepared a to-do list in just one night?
Meng Weishen muttered to himself. But he was used to this way of working. The product development team set the requirements, the leadership arranged the schedule, and he only had to follow through, no brainwork involved. He didn't ask further. "Sure. If you need me to do anything, just let me know a few days in advance."
"Most importantly, we must take photos to record the entire process. We'll scan the photos and send them to your mother later to ensure she's fully convinced."
Jiang Ranxu then took out a Polaroid camera from the central control storage space.
...Even the tools for committing the crime are ready!?
Meng Weishen was convinced first, and he decided to obey the other party's arrangements: "In that case, I guess you have already arranged today's itinerary. Where are we going now?"
"Get off the bus and walk about two hundred meters."
The Evil Mouse King waited where he was, and the two of them walked through a row of alleyway storefronts. In response to the city's appearance improvement policy, the storefronts had been uniformly repainted with a pewter-gray paint job, and even the signboards were custom-made, making them extremely unremarkable.
Tucked away deep in an alleyway, an exquisite Gothic church has been spared renovations, retaining its original appearance from a century ago. A few new signage depicting cartoon girls have been added to the entrance. While the traditional gray and white building is primarily a traditional building, the girls, dressed in bright yellow raincoats, appear a bit absurd at first glance.
If you learn that the girl is the official Jubilee mascot designated by the Vatican Church, the absurdity becomes even more pure. Modern people always experience various absurdities.
Jiang Ranxu said as a matter of course: "The marriage registration has been booked until the beginning of next month. We can hold the wedding ceremony in the church first."
"The foreigners destroyed the Qing Dynasty, and your family still believes in Catholicism. Aren't you a little ungrateful?" Meng Weishen finally raised a little suspicion, but when he thought about his historical knowledge, which was only at the level before the division of liberal arts and science, he stopped talking cautiously. "Well, it's not impossible. But I don't believe in religion. Can we still get married in a church?"
"Don't worry, the Foreigner Church is the China Merchants Bank of religions. They have excellent service. Many elderly people in the alleys come to the church every week to get eggs, even though they haven't finished reading the first page of the Bible yet."
From inside came the solemn singing of a choir; Sunday's mass had already begun. Jiang Ranxu touched Meng Weishen's lips with his fingertips, and Meng Weishen quickly used sign language to indicate that he would remain quiet. Then Jiang Ranxu led him into the church and sat down in the second-to-last row of black seats.
The last few rows of seats were quite crowded. Meng Weishen looked around and noticed that the elderly men and women who had risen early were in much better shape than the young people. They were all energetic, with bright eyes, and it was unclear whether they were filled with piety towards God or a desire for free eggs.
Regardless of religious belief, people share a common appreciation for art. The choir's voice, extended through the organ and the high dome, seems to reach heaven. While ordinary people may be far removed from the divine, their spirits are similarly purified by immersing themselves in the music.
As the Mass drew to a close, the faithful lined up to receive the Eucharistic wafers. Meng Weishen, who had not yet converted, naturally had no luck enjoying those small, thin white wafers. He could only follow the priest's example, cross his arms, and go up to the stage to receive the priest's blessing.
Jiang Ranxu didn't receive Holy Communion either. He waited until the ceremony was over before approaching the church staff with a reverent attitude, asking, "Hello, I'm looking for Father Smith. Just say I'm the son of Ms. Guan Ping, a believer. He baptized me when I was born, and now I'd like him to officiate my wedding."
After a while, an elderly priest came tremblingly, with white hair and a red robe. Wherever he went, believers would salute him.
Jiang Ranxu seemed to be very familiar with the old priest. Rich people always have extensive connections. "Uncle Shi, long time no see. You are still as young as you were ten years ago."
The old priest spoke in a standard Beijing accent: "Stop trying to be so friendly. Aren't you getting married? Where's your bride?"
Meng Weishen was dragged in front of the old priest and could only smile awkwardly.
The old priest lifted his reading glasses, stared intently, and finally confirmed that both were male. He sternly refused, "We're a Catholic church, and we don't support same-sex marriage. If you want to hold your wedding, go to the Christian church next door."
Jiang Ranxu insisted, "I've done my homework in advance. Your Vatican headquarters has approved priests to provide blessings for same-sex couples under certain conditions."
"The Vatican has no say in Beijing. Anyway, I haven't done anything for anyone."
"Don't be like that, Uncle Shi. You always held me in your arms when I was little. Besides, my mom and grandma have paid so many indulgences to you. Just think of them as atonement for my sins."
"Nonsense, that's called free dedication!"
Jiang Ranxu continued to bargain with the other party: "I understand. I am also willing to make a free contribution. As long as you can help me say a few blessings and take a photo. Other rituals are waived."
"...Okay, okay." The good priest was also afraid of the gay man, so the other party finally relented. "But you are not allowed to divorce. Newlyweds who have received God's blessing are not allowed to divorce. Remember!"
Under the downcast eyes of the crucified Christ, Meng Weishen felt a surge of guilt. But Jiang Ranxu had already promised the priest, "Don't worry, we will never divorce."
——
The significance of a wedding lies in its publicity; the more people witness it, the more grand it appears. So half an hour later, Asher hurried to the church door. He had probably just struggled out of bed, and he looked even more sloppy than Meng Weishen himself.
"Jiang Ranxu, you're getting married so early in the morning! Who allowed you to move so quickly? Your father..."
Fortunately, the matchmaker's professionalism overcame his morning grumpiness. The moment he locked eyes with Meng Weishen, Asher immediately switched to work mode. "...I mean, you two are truly a match made in heaven. It's so quick to go from love at first sight to a lifelong commitment. Great! I've always felt like you two were meant to be together, haha."
Jiang Ranxu remained calm and handed over the Polaroid camera. "Thank you for your blessing, Teacher A. The ceremony will begin soon. Please take our picture."
Today, Sunday, the church had other activities scheduled. The choir and congregants had dispersed, leaving the church empty again. Only Asher and a few strangers who had joined in the fun occupied the front pews. The incense and sacred vessels from Mass had not yet been removed, and the stained-glass image of the Virgin Mary, scattering fragments of light and shadow on the ground, still retained a certain solemnity of the ceremony.
The old priest stood on the altar, opened the Bible, and announced the beginning of the ceremony:
"On this sacred occasion, the two of you may be wedded. If anyone objects to this marriage, please speak now or remain silent forever."
Those who opposed it didn't have time to arrive, so no one objected.
"Jiang Ranxu, Meng Weishen, have you come here wholeheartedly and voluntarily to enter into a marriage contract, without any coercion? Are you willing to love and be faithful to each other for the rest of your lives, until death? Are you willing to accept the children God has gifted you with... No, you must not accept this."
The two of them expressed their willingness many times and were not forced in any way.
"Now, please renew your marriage vows to one another before God and the Church. May the Lord, in His mercy, confirm the marriage vows you have made before the Church and bless you so that your marriage vows may be fulfilled. What God has joined together, no one can separate."
The old priest had closed the Bible, and the ceremony should have ended there. However, Jiang Ranxu tried to stop him, saying, "Wait a minute, Mr. Shi. We missed the ring exchange."
When these words came out, Meng Weishen was even more shocked than the old priest: "You even prepared the ring?"
"Of course, I'm very dedicated. Since I agreed to act with you, I have to act it out completely." Jiang Ranxu said seriously, "Teacher A, remember to take pictures for us. Take a few more, there will definitely be some waste."
Meng Weishen opened the black velvet box handed to him by the other party and saw the full appearance of the ring for the first time.
A pair of platinum men's wedding rings. The design is likely inspired by the Möbius strip, with irregular rings carved on the surface, connecting the starting point and the end point.
"May God bless these rings. Please exchange them as a token of your love and fidelity."
With the blessing of the priest, the ring size fits perfectly on both of their ring fingers.
Perhaps the coffee's effects hadn't worn off yet, but Meng Weishen's heart rate was extremely fast, and his mind was clouded by the rich incense. To remind himself to stay calm, he repeatedly bent his ring finger joint, feeling the cold, hard metal scraping against his skin, but his mind grew increasingly dizzy.
——
Facts have proven that Jiang Ranxu's efficiency is indeed terrifyingly high, even professional divorce lawyers have to admit defeat.
Just after the simple wedding, Meng Weishen received a call from Li Yingxuan:
"Wesley, your matchmaker gave me a general explanation of the situation last night, and I still advise you not to rush into marriage. I will ask Jiang Ranxu to provide proof of his personal circumstances, and then I will draw up a prenuptial agreement for you."
Meng Weishen opened his mouth and announced: "But we are already married."
The other party was obviously stunned: "... Already got the marriage certificate? Why didn't anyone tell me this important situation in advance?"
"We didn't get a marriage certificate. We held our wedding ceremony in a church. We listened to a blessing from the priest and exchanged rings."
Meng Weishen explained everything in detail.
This hastily arranged wedding ceremony involved too many irrelevant people, and he felt guilty. "As for Teacher A... he probably knew about the situation half an hour before you did. I'm sorry, this development was really too sudden."
A long silence fell on the other end of the line. Meng Weishen was prepared for a scolding, but the lawyer was calmer than he'd imagined. "You mean you didn't register with the Civil Affairs Bureau, right? Then there's still room for recovery. All of you wait for me at the church. I'll be right there."
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