Chapter 69: Illness Must Be Treated
Meng Weishen abruptly dodged his touch, not even leaving him a single hair. Jiang Ranxu paused for a moment, until the other party grabbed the computer again and shoved the OCD self-assessment form into his arms.
"Do the questions." Meng Weishen ordered him.
"I've already admitted that I am, what else do you want?"
"What do I want...I want to take you to get treated!"
"I've done those tests countless times. Do you think I look better? Curing an illness isn't as easy as you think."
"No matter how complicated the problem is, it must be solved step by step. You do the questions first, and then I'll accompany you to see a psychiatrist."
"So you're imagining things too simply. The moment you stepped into the psychiatric clinic, you should have turned around and gone back to your divorce lawyer." Jiang Ranxu closed the laptop screen and pressed it against the edge of the table, making a soft sound. "It's okay, you can continue to imagine me as your favorite. I can also continue to cooperate with you. At least this way we can still live together."
Meng Weishen also fell down at the table, his head dropped into his arms, and his hair became messy again.
Meng Weishen's voice was foggy, muffled and low: "I don't know what you're talking about. Do you doubt that I don't like you enough? Or do you blame me for not knowing you well enough?"
"Neither. I'm telling you a fact: if you really want to understand me, you'll only find me troublesome and disgusting. Why do people have to make themselves unhappy?"
"I just want to solve your problem. If you're sick, you need to get treatment. Isn't that how problems should be solved?"
So stupid. So stupid that Jiang Ranxu wanted to laugh: "Some problems you can never solve, so it's better not to touch them."
"I'll try my best to find a solution. But you won't even give me a chance to try. Do you want me to keep playing dumb? I can't do that."
Meng Weishen raised his face, his nose wrinkled, his eyes red, and he was about to cry.
Jiang Ranxu felt pity for her and buried his fingers into the other's hairy temples. Sure enough, he felt a moist touch on his palm.
Meng Weishen dodged his touch again, stumbled to open the balcony window, and stood in the cold wind to dry his tears. He looked very depressed.
Meng Weishen stopped arguing with him and instead stuffed most of the croquette into his mouth, chewing the exploding crispy crust with difficulty.
Jiang Ranxu's gaze fixed on the other man's silhouette, a trace of regret already welling up in his mind. Perhaps he had been too harsh on Meng Weishen.
He never thought love was something noble; it was always tainted with narcissism and selfish desire. People were keen to seek benefits in intimate relationships, prove their sexual appeal, and project all sorts of romantic fantasies, yet it was difficult to truly understand what the object of their love was like.
He himself was no better. He had deceived Meng Weishen into a marriage bond with him, using him as a haven to alleviate his obsessive thoughts, and exploiting his tolerance to vent his possessiveness and dark tendencies... all shameful desires.
But he didn't see much narcissism or selfishness in Meng Weishen. He saw the world as a simple sketch: hungry, he ate; tired, he slept; exhausted, he played with his dog; sick, he took medicine. He had a very vague concept of self and others.
Under his watchful gaze, Meng Weishen finished a whole croquette, his hands full of crumbs that patted the window... Perhaps in Meng Weishen's world, love was as simple as eating croquettes together. It was only he who was overthinking and suspicious, causing both of them pain.
The next moment, Meng Weishen poked him: "There's still one croquette left, and I also ordered fried pork chop and foie gras rice."
His chaotic thoughts filled his chest and even his stomach. Jiang Ranxu lost his appetite. "I'm not hungry. Eat it yourself. Put the leftovers in the freezer."
Meng Weishen's disappointment was clearly written on his face. After a while, he got up and heated up the pork chops.
The hum of the microwaves was like a lullaby. Jiang Ranxu had suffered from insomnia for the past few days, and a feeling of drowsiness swept over him. He had originally wanted to lean against the table and close his eyes to rest, but in a trance, he fell into a deep sleep.
Dreams make one lose track of time. He seemed to be back at the shores of Shichahai in his childhood, walking on the frozen surface of the lake, taking a shortcut home from the other side.
The temperature should have dropped below zero, but the ice was particularly fragile, and the lake water flowing under the ice was faintly visible. With every step, there was a crackling sound from the soles of my shoes.
The thing he had feared most as a child had happened. The ice crackled and broke, and he was unable to maintain his balance and plummeted into the icy lake.
Darkness and cold simultaneously invaded his body, stifling his breathing and confining his limbs. Jiang Ranxu could not move, and could only watch his body sink to the bottom of the lake. The sounds from the lakeshore faded away, and he felt as if he were falling into a silent black hole.
A small, pitch-black object floated beside him. Jiang Ranxu instinctively reached over and felt a stiff, cold sensation in his hand—the same sensation as the stray cat's corpse he remembered. The cat had died with him at the bottom of the lake. Or perhaps it had been waiting for him there.
Fortunately, someone was shaking his shoulders desperately, and Jiang Ranxu quickly floated up and finally escaped from the nightmare lake.
Before he could muster up enough strength to open his eyes, Meng Weishen had already lifted his arms, supported his body, let him half lean on his arms, and put on his coat sleeves for him.
"Jiang Ranxu, don't sleep. You've been having nightmares, and you have a fever again."
"How long have I slept?"
"It's almost morning. Grab my hand and follow me. I'll take you to the nearest emergency room."
"I'm not going..."
"If you're sick, you have to treat it. I told you that."
Meng Weishen's attitude was particularly firm this time. He waved the online car-hailing interface in front of him, indicating that he should not try to escape this disaster.
Jiang Ranxu wanted to struggle again, but when he remembered his own bastard deeds, he let Meng Weishen torture him, just to make it even.
Meng Weishen grabbed a plastic seat for him, wrapped the mask tightly around him, settled him down, and went to get a number, queue up, register, and pay.
As soon as the other party left, the feeling of drowning continued to haunt Jiang Ranxu. He was too tired, his whole body was cold, he felt dizzy and nauseous, and his eyelids were heavy as if tied with stones, but he couldn't fall asleep.
It was flu season, and the emergency room was crammed with coughing, unfortunate souls. Countless germs swirled in the air, ready to overwhelm his defenses at any moment. He had to be constantly on edge, wary of every stranger who passed him by. If anyone accidentally touched him, he'd rush to the bathroom and wash his hands until they broke his skin.
Jiang Ranxu exhausted his last bit of energy in alertness, but he was unwilling to lean against the wall of the emergency department. He would rather support his temples with his arms, his whole body shaky.
His vision was narrowed due to his illness, and he was anxiously looking for Meng Weishen's figure. Fortunately, the other party turned into a clever bee, circled around a few times, and flew back to him.
Meng Weishen brought back a bunch of white receipts and took him to get an IV.
The cold liquid flowed into his veins, and Jiang Ranxu couldn't stop shivering. Meng Weishen seemed to be unable to bear it and put his arm around his shoulders. The two of them temporarily stopped fighting.
Jiang Ranxu occupied the warmest spot in Meng Weishen's arms, treating him as a safe house in the nest of germs, and finally he could close his eyes in peace.
While he was resting, Meng Weishen wasn't idle either. He pulled his fingers apart, avoiding the needle, and applied burn ointment. The ointment was sticky and smelled like fragrant oil.
"It's very troublesome, right?" Jiang Ranxu asked abruptly.
"What?"
"Going to the hospital and taking care of the patients."
"If I don't bring you to the hospital, who can? It's nothing to bother with."
"Look at you, you've developed a stronger sense of responsibility since getting married." Jiang Ranxu fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. "If we were just in a romantic relationship, you should have broken up with me."
Meng Weishen didn't have the heart to slap his hand away, "Shut up. Go to sleep and you can go home when you wake up."
——
Before Jiang Ranxu formally filed for divorce from Meng Weishen, he actually made a lot of efforts, such as taking the initiative to go home and talk to his father about cancer.
Before leaving, he mentally prepared himself for a peaceful resolution. As long as his father promised to stay in the hospital and not cause trouble again, he would connect him with an oncologist and secure a valuable bed. Treatment costs could also be negotiated.
Jiang Ranxu stepped into the courtyard and found the door of his house ajar. It seemed that he would not come back empty-handed today.
He had just touched the doorknob when a desperate groan of pain suddenly scratched his eardrum. The alarm rang in his mind, and he immediately rushed in.
Inside, the two of them were twisted together on the sofa. Jiang Shao's hands were locked tightly around Guan Ping's slender neck. Her neck and cheeks were flushed red, a few strands of hair stuck between her lips, and even her whimpers for help gradually faded.
Past memories overlapped with the present scene, and all the blood in Jiang Ranxu's body rushed to his head, awakening the demon lurking deep within him. He lunged forward, grabbed Jiang Shao by the back of his neck, and pulled him away from his mother. Jiang Shao was much weaker than in his youth, and Jiang Ranxu easily pressed his head against the radiator, smashing it with a dull thud.
The bastard must have been hit in a painful spot in his mouth, and he screamed in agony. Jiang Ranxu's eardrums buzzed, but he finally regained some sense and stopped in time, but the radiator was already stained with dirty blood.
Jiang Ranxu went to the kitchen to wash his hands.
He couldn't remember how many times he had felt the urge to kill his biological father.
It sounds absurd that a patient with a psychological disorder like him who hates germs and is a potential criminal with many violent thoughts can successfully graduate from medical school and become a white angel who heals children.
His mother hunched over the sofa, still in shock, trembling, retching, and coughing. Jiang Ranxu grabbed her arm and dragged her out to the yard to bask in the sun.
The sun baked the neighbors' homemade bamboo shoots and dried eggplants, as well as my mother's sweaty long hair, and her breathing gradually calmed down.
Jiang Ranxu asked indifferently: "Tell me, what's wrong with your husband again?"
Guan Ping covered the red mark on her neck with her hand, her expression blank: "I stopped him from spraying the medicine. It was so painful that he couldn't help but do it."
"What medicine is he taking?"
"I don't know. His buddy brought it to him last week and hit him on the butt."
"…painkillers? Morphine?"
"I don't know. I've been busy preparing for Christmas events lately and haven't been able to take care of him. Anyway, that medication is very effective for pain relief, and he's become more and more addicted. He used to take it twice a day, but now he can't stop taking it in less than an hour... I figured pain relief alone wouldn't cure the disease, so I persuaded him to go to the hospital, and that's how he died."
The old wall tiles had very poor sound insulation. Jiang Shao yelled in the house, "Get lost! I'm not sick, why am I going to the hospital? I'm going on a trip!"
Guan Ping also tried to raise her voice, although it was still only a faint sound: "Your mouth is about to burst..."
"It's just a problem with my teeth! That precious son of yours is just a homosexual and won't treat my teeth. Can't I find medicine myself?"
"He's so scared of death that his brain is broken." Jiang Ranxu frowned and tried to persuade his mother for the umpteenth time, "I'll transfer some money to you. You should move out as soon as possible. Don't worry about him anymore."
Guan Ping lowered her head. "But, last weekend I took your father to pray, and he has already confessed his sins before God. Even God is willing to forgive him. If I abandon him to die, wouldn't that be just as sinful?"
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