47 Chapter Forty-seven
◎Original wife.◎
A weak cough sounded from behind her, and Ci Ying felt almost overwhelmed by guilt.
Even with a calm heart, Ci Ying couldn't help but feel an indescribable feeling when she saw Xie Huaijin do something so outrageous. Her fingers trembled with anger, and her face flushed red from the scene just now.
One is shame, the other is guilt.
Mr. Li behind him seemed to be trying hard to suppress his cough. Ci Ying, with her back to him, didn't dare to think about what Xie Huaijin had done to Mr. Li. The girl's eyes trembled again and again, and drooped several times before she was brought back to her senses by Mr. Li's cough.
With trembling hands, she grabbed a cloak from a nearby shelf and covered Li Sheng with it. Another "I'm sorry" escaped Ci Ying's lips, her face flushing with shame, and she didn't dare look up at Li Sheng.
Li Sheng coughed, and the cloak was covered on him by the girl who leaned over. As Ci Ying bent down, a strand of black hair fell on his arm, and the red tip of her ear was as charming as candlelight.
"Nothing... cough, cough, cough, Ciying."
Ci Ying didn't dare face Li Sheng again, but she felt the need to apologize. Blushing, she said, "Xie Huaijin was the one who rudely offended you. Don't worry, I'll make sure he comes to apologize. I'll have a maid take you to the side room. You've been traveling so long, so get a good night's rest. Tomorrow I'll make sure Xie Huaijin comes to apologize."
After saying that, Ciying left in a hurry.
Looking at the door tightly closed by the girl, Li Sheng smiled and sighed softly. When did Ci Ying become so impatient? He didn't say a word.
...As for the matter of taking a concubine, I'm afraid it's just one-sided wishful thinking between him and Master Xie.
Mr. Li coughed and did not look up to take in the surroundings. After all, it was a woman's boudoir. If he had become her lover, it would have been fine. If not, it would have been impolite to look at her any further.
After walking out of the yard, Ci Ying's shame and guilt turned into anger. She clenched her hands tightly, and even when her knuckles turned blue and white, she did not loosen her grip at all. The maid wanted to follow her, but Ci Ying stopped her. She went all the way to Xie Huaijin's study without any obstruction.
Before entering the door, I could smell a strong scent of sandalwood.
Ci Ying pushed open the door, and in the dim light, a young man was sitting at a desk copying something. The strong scent of sandalwood hit Ci Ying's nose, and she felt like vomiting, but she held it back.
Hearing the sound, the young man raised his eyes, with a hint of surprise in his beautiful phoenix eyes.
The lights in the room were dim, but not very bright. Xie Huaijin didn't notice Ci Ying's expression at first. For some reason, his hand holding the brush stiffened for a moment. After thinking for a moment, he placed the brush on the pen holder.
When Xie Huaijin finished doing all this, he found that Ciying was still standing there.
The wind rushed into the room, and the strong sandalwood scent in the room had not dissipated much, and the incense in the censer was still burning slowly. Xie Huaijin walked forward and stood in front of Ci Ying. It was not until they were only one step away that the young man saw the strange look in the girl's eyes.
But the lights were dim, and he couldn't really see much. As if to prove something, his expression softened slightly: "Why did you come out?"
The anger that had been suppressed a little by the vomiting feeling brought by the sandalwood was rekindled. The hands under Ci Ying's sleeves were pinched blue and white, and the thin blue veins were beating bit by bit along with the pulse.
"I haven't said 'Happy Birthday' to you yet." The young man raised his eyes: "Happy birthday, Ciying, are you satisfied with the birthday gift I gave you? Why did he die so quickly..."
Ci Ying couldn't bear it any longer, clenched her fists tightly, then raised her right hand and slapped him.
“Snap—”
The young man's face was slapped to the side, and in the dark night, blood quietly flowed from the corner of his lips.
Xie Huaijin remained in the posture of being beaten for a long time, and Ci Ying confronted him with angry eyes. When he reached out to hit her again, the young man grabbed his hand. He spoke in a gentle voice, slowly turned his face to face Ci Ying, and the blood on his lips slowly flowed into his neck.
The young man had a gentle expression, seemingly gentle, but he firmly grasped Ciying's hand and said, "Madam, what happened?"
Ci Ying wanted to laugh when she heard this name. She said angrily, "Xie Huaijin, what did you promise me?" Her voice was so loud that Xie Huaijin couldn't keep his usual decent smile. Before he could say anything, Ci Ying had already broken free from his hand and slapped him again.
"I've already stayed by your side, why do you still want to touch the people around me, Xie Huaijin? I've done everything according to your wishes. What else do you want? Why are you mistreating me and others like this? Speak up!"
Ci Ying's hand was stopped again. She was so angry that she hit him with her other hand. When both of her hands were tightly grasped, she glared at Xie Huaijin with angry eyes.
The young man's lips were no longer bleeding; in the dim candlelight, only a faint trace of blood could be seen. He stared at Ci Ying for a long time, until tears welled up in her eyes. Then he whispered, "I agreed with Mr. Li that I didn't force him."
Ci Ying seemed to have heard the funniest joke in the world, and retorted sarcastically, "Of course you didn't force him. Just like Master Xie said to me last time, there's no need to force anyone to do what you want. Just a glance from you, and thousands of people will rush to do it for you."
Xie Huaijin became more serious: "I didn't."
Ci Ying angrily said, "Of course you didn't. You agreed with Li Sheng. Master Xie said such nice things. How could Li Sheng dare to disobey you? You let a gentleman wear such clothes and be naked in your wife's room late at night. Xie Huaijin, you are not humiliating him, what are you doing?"
"...I didn't." Xie Huaijin held Ci Ying's hand: "Calm down."
Ci Ying couldn't calm down: "Crazy, you are crazy, get out... don't touch me, get out, you——"
The words were drowned in the warm embrace. A string in Ci Ying's mind had broken. She cursed the person in front of her with the most vicious language in the world, but was kissed by the young man.
It turns out that the lips of cold and thin people are also soft...
Ci Ying's movement of pushing him away was slow for a moment, but when the blood touched between her lips and teeth, she was dazed for a moment before pushing him away.
She calmed down a little, and the strong sandalwood scent once again rushed into her nose, accompanied by a faint smell of blood. Ci Ying bent over and tried to vomit, but nothing came out, and she could only dry heave.
The young man half-knelt down and patted her. Ci Ying wanted to push him away but she had no strength. The moonlight reflected faintly on the two of them. Xie Huaijin whispered, "Why are you unhappy?"
There was a hint of doubt in the young man's words. Ci Ying looked up at Xie Huaijin, so angry that she couldn't say a word.
She shook off his supporting hand and stood up to leave. The young man stood behind her and looked at her back for a long time.
After turning a few corners, Ci Ying's rapid pace had drained her of most of her strength. She squatted against the wall, burying her head quietly in her arms. Under the pale moonlight, the girl's tears fell drop by drop. Nausea surged up, and she leaned over and retched again, again and again...
By the time her thoughts had returned to normal, Ci Ying was already sitting on the bluestone floor. She leaned against the wall, looking out at the dark night. It must have been three in the morning. She had grown another year older.
That night, she did not return to the dormitory. Although Li Sheng must have been taken to the side room by the maid, Ci Ying would remember the horrifying scene whenever she went there, so she went straight back to the study.
The bird tilted its head when it saw her: "Happy, happy!"
After Ci Ying looked into the bird's eyes, which were as big as green beans, for a while, she fell asleep silently on the soft couch. The strong sandalwood scent in her nostrils seemed to have not dissipated yet. Ci Ying held her breath, but the scent could not stop, and kept drilling into her bones.
Ci Ying thought that sooner or later she would become a lunatic.
......
Mo Yu's figure was like a ghost. When he emerged from the darkness, he followed Xie Huaijin silently. The young man lowered his eyes, and there was a clear palm print on his usually white jade face. His voice was very calm: "Follow him and send him back."
Mo Yu responded silently, “Yes.”
Xie Huaijin was the only one left in the study.
The young man knelt down, slowly poured himself a cup of tea, rinsed his mouth for a while, and then spat out all the blood foam in his mouth.
In the silence, the candlelight stretched the young man's shadow longer and longer.
The next day, Ci Ying woke up from the couch, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. Thinking of what she would have to face today, she collapsed. She had been so angry the day before that the hand she had used to slap Xie Huaijin still ached. Ci Ying climbed up from the couch and gazed at the rising sun.
In May, Chang'an was constantly hot and cold. It was still morning, but Ci Ying was already having trouble breathing. Her back and waist ached as she tried to get up. She called in the maidservant from outside to wash and dress, but even after she was done, she couldn't get up for a long time.
The maid whispered in her ear, "Madam, please have your meal first."
Ci Ying had no intention of eating, so she declined and said softly, "Come with me to Zezhiyuan."
She had to ask Xie Huaijin to apologize to Mr. Li.
When they arrived at Zezhi Courtyard, Ciying saw Mo Yu after a long absence. She asked softly, "Is he in there?"
Mo Yu leaned forward and said respectfully, "Madam, I'm here."
After saying that, Mo Yu didn't go in to report, but opened the door directly. Ci Ying walked in and pushed open the inner door herself. The young man's face looked like he had no medicine applied, and it was already red and swollen.
Ci Ying naturally felt no guilt, and her anger had not even subsided at all.
When Mo Yu called "Madam" outside, Xie Huaijin naturally knew that Ci Ying had come in.
But until the footsteps stopped beside him, Xie Huaijin did not raise his eyes, and continued to sit upright and copy the Buddhist scriptures.
The strong smell of sandalwood made Ci Ying feel uncomfortable. She suppressed her anger and looked at the person in front of her. It was hard to describe how Xie Huaijin seemed to be angry with her.
She reached out and grabbed Xie Huaijin's brush, and immediately, the young man's eyes stopped.
Ci Ying said coldly: "Come with me to apologize."
The young man smiled gently, but there was no warmth in his words. He raised his eyes and looked at Ci Ying indifferently without saying a word.
Ci Ying gritted her teeth, suppressed her anger, and softened her voice: "We both need to apologize for offending Mr. Li. Xie Huaijin, you can't treat others like this even if you have to use your power to oppress them."
Xie Huaijin let go of the brush, crumpled the half-copied Buddhist scripture into a ball, and lit it under the candlelight.
The smell of ashes spread across the young man's fingertips. Just before the flame was about to lick his fingers, the young man slowly let go. A faint flame appeared and disappeared between the two of them, and Ci Ying was able to see Xie Huaijin's eyes clearly.
Compared to yesterday, it was a little colder.
"I did what Madam wished, so why am I the one who offended and insulted me?"
Ci Ying didn't understand a word he said. She suppressed her anger and said, "What do you mean by 'according to my wishes'? Did I ask you to capture Li Sheng from Jiangnan, dress him up like that, and put him on my bed?"
Xie Huaijin wiped his slender fingers with a handkerchief, and after a while he said, "Well, it's not what Madam wants."
Facing Ci Ying's wide eyes, the young man smiled gently: "I should ask to leave the palace and make room for Master Li. Master Li will be the principal and I will be the concubine. Then Madam will be satisfied."
Xie Huaijin grabbed Ci Ying's hand as she tried to shake it off. Ci Ying struggled angrily, but the young man leaned closer to her: "It's still not enough. I want to be with Master Li for the rest of my life, even if it's like what's written in love poems, 'You are the bright moon and I am the cloud...'"
Ci Ying's face turned red with anger, and her eyes also turned red.
The smile on the young man's face completely turned cold, and his eyes were icy. "Madam, your heart changes so quickly. You send a love poem to everyone. You sent it to me before, and now to Li Sheng. Who will you send it to tomorrow?"
"Nothing, I'm not jealous. Li is weak and can't take good care of Madam. Having more people will help..."
Ci Ying couldn't help it anymore. The etiquette taught by her young lady since she was a child was broken at this moment. She kicked Xie Huaijin's left leg very hard, but Xie Huaijin's expression didn't change at all.
He just looked at Ciying's legs slowly, and the moment Ciying realized something was wrong and turned to leave, he grabbed Ciying's hand, leaned over and pressed it on the desk.
"Let me go." Ci Ying gritted her teeth.
"So, are you going to look for your Li Lang?" Xie Huaijin picked out the things that happened on Ci Ying and Li Sheng's way of escaping. "Holding Li Sheng's arm, telling the waiter and the little beggar that Li Sheng was your illegitimate husband. Hmm... what a perfect match. How could I let Li Sheng follow you without any status? Madam likes Sickly Girl, so I reluctantly took Sickly Girl into my family. Master Li would definitely prefer a formal status to a concubine."
Ciying was so angry that she couldn't utter a word.
Xie Huaijin's eyes were pale, and there was no smile on his face, but his tone was strangely gentle: "Everyone knows what it means to be a concubine. Being a concubine with you is humiliating and insulting. Do you want me, the original wife, to go and invite her in person? It's my fault that I didn't go to Jiangnan."
"You..." Ci Ying's lips turned white with anger after hearing the irrelevant and contradictory words. "I pretended to be a couple with him out of helplessness. I wanted to dispel the suspicion of the county magistrate and rescue Xie Ran safely."
"Really?" The young man smiled gently, without a trace of belief in his eyes.
Ci Ying reasoned, "He's not in good health, and the journey from Jiangnan to Chang'an was quite bumpy. And you treated him like this, Xie Huaijin. It's only right that you apologize to me."
She talked a lot, but when Xie Huaijin saw her, her tone became even colder: "Are you heartbroken?"
Ci Ying felt that Xie Huaijin was unreasonable. She was so angry that she said directly, "Yes, I feel bad. Can you go with me to apologize?"
The young man smiled faintly, "I won't go because my wife is worried about you, and I feel the same pain. It's not enough for my wife to go and coax your Li Lang, and she wants me to come along too. There's no such thing as that in the world."
Ci Ying clenched her hands: "What on earth do you want to do, Xie Huaijin?"
The young man smiled gently: "Of course I will be a generous first wife. Even if I seduce the concubine who is too weak for my wife to care about, I will not make it difficult for her at all."
For a moment, Ci Ying felt like an incompetent husband who couldn't balance the relationship between his original wife and his concubine. The problem was that she was not!
She was amazed that Xie Huaijin could come up with such an infuriating method.
She pulled Xie Huaijin's sleeve and said, "You have to go today, whether you want to or not."
The young man took two steps, then lost his mind. A nearby incense burner was burning with strong sandalwood, choking Ci Ying so much that she covered her mouth with her other hand. A gentle young man's voice came from behind her: "Can you get pregnant in one day?"
Ci Ying was so angry that she turned around and looked at Xie Huaijin in disbelief.
Her ears were buzzing because of the young man's words, and for a long time she could only hear white noise.
She felt that she was really mad and didn't want to pull Xie Huaijin to apologize anymore, so she slowly let go of Xie Huaijin's hand.
Today was a really hot and humid day. There was clearly wind outside, but all that was brought by the wind was the stuffiness. Ci Ying heard her own heartbeat for the first time in a long time. Her fingers straightened stiffly little by little, and her eyes stared at Xie Huaijin intently.
The young man also looked at her motionlessly. The lips that spat out harsh words still had scars from the beating yesterday, and the left side of his face was also red and swollen. But even so, he did not look embarrassed at all. Instead, every move he made revealed unparalleled dignity.
Ci Ying was a little tired, still angry, but angry to the point of being tired.
Just like she treated Xie Huaijin.
She really was too lazy to argue with him about many things anymore. Since returning from Jiangnan, she had restrained herself from piling up love and hate on him, and was walking on thin ice to maintain a balance between everyone.
But Xie Huaijin always has a way.
She had never treated anyone other than Xie Huaijin like this, and she had never seen Xie Huaijin be so mean to others.
They saw each other's ugliest faces.
She didn't know what a couple should be like, but it definitely wasn't like her and Xie Huaijin.
They don't love each other, nor do they even know each other, not even for a moment.
From the first moment she and Xie Huaijin were born into this world, from the sound of the baby's cry, she was born in a remote and backward village in Dingyang, with a fate that should have been foreseeable at a glance. He was born in a majestic, century-old family in Chang'an, and the glory of the eldest son began when his gender was differentiated.
They were separated by tens of millions of people from the beginning to the end. If it weren't for the countless accidents and misunderstandings, one after another, fate pushed and pulled them together, they wouldn't even appear in each other's lives.
Suspicion, scruples, different beds, but different dreams.
——They are truly the most tragic couple in the world.
Ci Ying did not turn back to look at Xie Huaijin. She walked out with her body supported. She walked through one door, two doors, and three doors. Ci Ying refused the maid's support, straightened her body, and walked away from the study room step by step.
In the study, Xie Huaijin lowered his eyes, looked at the empty outer room, and stood there for a long time.
The strong sandalwood fragrance never stopped for a moment, and the light smoke wrapped around the young man's wrist, gently nibbling at the scar on the tiger's mouth, and drilling into it as thin as a silk thread, as if it wanted to merge into the young man's bones and blood, soaking the beautiful phoenix eyes under the long eyelashes.
Who can have intelligent love and hate.
It was a long time before Xie Huaijin sat back at his desk. He picked up the pen but couldn't write a single word. The wind blew open the window and blew the Buddhist scriptures on the table everywhere. Page after page of neatly copied Buddhist scriptures were scattered on the ground, piling up like the final shackles.
At the moment when the flying Buddhist scriptures fell to the ground, the young man briefly captured the trajectory of the wind.
When all the Buddhist scriptures fell, the sky outside suddenly changed. The sound of rain was accompanied by thunder and lightning. The sultry heat of the day continued to be carried by the rain, slowly seeping into the young man's brow.
......
After Ci Ying went back to pack up, she went to look for Li Sheng.
No matter how difficult it is to face it, I will eventually go to their door and apologize in person.
She asked the maid to stay outside and knocked on the door of the wing room. Li Sheng coughed and opened the door from the inside, saying gently, "You're here."
Ci Ying was really embarrassed and held the door open: "I am here to apologize to you on behalf of Xie Huaijin."
Li Sheng did not ask why Xie Huaijin did not come, but simply invited Ci Ying in: "How can I blame you and Master Xie?"
Ci Yingren walked in but did not close the door of the wing room. Li Sheng noticed this and his eyes drooped slightly.
Ci Ying sat down on a stool next to Li Sheng and whispered, "I didn't know Xie Huaijin would do such a ridiculous thing. Li Sheng, I'm sorry, are you okay?"
Li Sheng explained, "It's nothing. Miss Xie and I have been settled in Chang'an for over a month, and Master Xie has been calling doctors for me every day."
Ci Ying clenched her hands: "I'm still sorry, I know you don't want to come back to Chang'an."
Li Sheng coughed twice and smiled gently, "No, my family's misfortune was their own fault. I never felt that Chang'an was a place I couldn't leave, and it wouldn't bring back any sad memories. One can't always dwell on the past."
Li Sheng continued to explain, "I left Chang'an to avoid being hunted by some people. While you were away, several groups of people also went to Jiangnan. If it weren't for the guards, I might not have seen you today. I think they have already found my whereabouts. So, it seems that Chang'an may be safer than Jiangnan. Xie Ran also came to Chang'an with me. She said she wanted to come to see you two days ago, but she ran into her brother on the street, so she went back to take care of some things these days."
Ci Ying looked at Li Sheng worriedly, her fists clenched. "But Xie Huaijin still acted recklessly. Li Sheng, I don't need you to forgive him, but I'm really sorry."
Li Sheng hesitated for a moment, then said softly, "Ciying, I'm actually willing."
Ci Ying didn't understand what this meant at first. When she looked up, she saw Li Sheng looking at her gently. "I don't have any relatives in this world anymore. After meeting you, I've learned a lot. Ci Ying, it wasn't Master Xie who forced me to come to Chang'an. Back in Jiangnan, when Master Xie brought up the subject, I didn't refuse. It's just that I never found the opportunity to talk to you before. Now that I'm in Chang'an and after what happened yesterday, I can finally talk to you."
Ci Ying stood there in a daze, her brows slightly furrowed.
Li Sheng saw this and coughed softly: "Every doctor said they don't know how long I have left. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in the next moment. You know my body well, Ciying..."
Ci Ying was a little afraid that Li Sheng would say the following words. Facing Li Sheng's gentle and sickly eyes, she couldn't say "I'm sorry".
Li Sheng noticed Ci Ying's hesitation and silently swallowed the rest of his words. He looked at Ci Ying tenderly and said, "I don't have any other extravagant hopes in this life. Can we become family? I'm older than you, so you can call me brother in the future."
【Author’s words】
[Spreading hands] Original wife
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