8. Tanhualang
◎It's a dream.◎
As the end of the year approached, the academy had a full month's holiday, allowing Ci Ying to focus on taking care of his wife. Fortunately, his wife survived the winter.
Aunt Yusheng, who was by the lady's side, always liked to tell her rumors about the outside world when the lady was asleep.
For example, the general from the northwest returned to the court with 100,000 soldiers and horses. The young emperor wanted to marry his sister, Princess Qingyun, to the general, but was rejected by General Wei, causing an ugly scene in the court.
For example, it started snowing in Jiangnan earlier than in Chang'an, but the snow was light and soft, not as thick and heavy as in Chang'an. If you go to Jiangnan in December, you can see a snowy scene like rime, and the snow will break up with a gentle step.
Aunt Yusheng began to cry as she spoke, and no longer called the lady "Madam", but "Miss". Aunt Yusheng's tears began to flow from her eyes, flowing across her face which was still young at forty, flowing through the corners of her lips which were dry from crying for many days, and flowing into her thick winter clothes.
The incense in Madam's room was always burning thick, sometimes making Ciying feel drowsy. One day, Madam woke up and Ciying was pouring tea with her back turned when Madam suddenly called her. In a trance, Ciying actually heard her own name. When she came to her senses, Madam called her "A Su" again.
Ci Ying finally felt relieved and stepped forward to support the lady, but the lady lifted up her heavy winter sleeves. Ci Ying wanted to hide, but was still lifted up by the lady.
Half a month had passed since Mammy had last hit someone with a bamboo stick, but Ciying's body was still severely bruised. The room was filled with fragrant mist. Madam lowered her eyes and asked softly, "Did Ah Su fall?"
Ci Ying agreed: "I fell a few days ago. I didn't think it was serious, but it turned out that there were bruises. I asked the maid to apply ointment for me when I got home." After that, Ci Ying added: "It doesn't hurt."
Fortunately, the Madam believed her story and gently lowered her sleeves for her. She called over Aunt Yusheng and brought her a tube of light green ointment. Aunt Yusheng pinched the bruise on her wrist, twisted the ointment, and whispered, "It's cold in winter. Madam, the charcoal fire here is warmer. Let me apply it to you, young lady."
Aunt Yusheng was ageless, her fingers gentle. Ciying held back her tears the entire time, afraid to reveal herself, and dared not turn around and look the mistress in the eye. Aunt Yusheng began to cry, too. Bewildered, Ciying offered a handkerchief, but Aunt Yusheng pushed it back. Yusheng's tears fell to the floor, quickly evaporating in the greenhouse, as if they had never been there.
Every time Ci Ying came out of his wife's room, he would be stunned for a moment.
It was so warm inside, and the incense burned year-round. The faint medicinal scent only became stronger the moment she pushed open the door. Every time Ci Ying came out, she would turn around and look. She couldn't see anything through the screen and the incense burner, but she would always turn around to check.
In the spring of February, the Xie family was very lively for a while.
Xie Huaijin, the eldest son of the Xie family, was personally chosen by the Emperor as the third place winner in the imperial examination, while the first place winner was awarded to another student who had been taking the exam for many years. It is said that when the young Emperor announced the rankings, the Grand Prince hesitated for a full hour. The top three places had already been determined, but the rankings were still uncertain.
The chief eunuch urged again and again, and Emperor Zhaoping finally said frankly that the eldest son of the Xie family was far more talented in literature than the other two, but among the three, only the eldest son of the Xie family was worthy of the title of Tanhualang.
Although it did not help Xie Huaijin to get the top three places in the imperial examination, it became a good story among the people.
When Xie Huaijin rode through the streets on horseback, Xie Ran dragged Ci Ying to see him. Ci Ying didn't dare go, as every inch of her bruises hurt. She refused again and again, until Xie Ran finally said, "Okay, I'll take Xie Wen along to see him." For some reason, Xie Ran and Xie Wen's relationship had improved over the past six months, just as Xie Wen gradually faded into obscurity.
Ci Ying didn't know why, perhaps she'd been curious, but since Xie Ran didn't explain, she didn't ask. Later, Xie Ran described the grand spectacle of that day: the streets were empty, and Xie Huaijin, dressed in a red robe, was riding a horse, his face like a banished immortal, his figure as graceful as a jade. There were clearly three people, but everyone could only see him.
As he was speaking, Xie Ran stood up and demonstrated the scene of that day.
Ci Ying looked up, but she didn't see Xie Ran. Instead, she saw Xie Huaijin, who was standing above the clouds. Xie Ran's voice lingered in her ears: "Almost all the girls threw their flowers on Xie Huaijin, and I threw one too. His body was covered in flower juice and dew, but miraculously, he didn't look embarrassed at all..."
After Xie Ran finished speaking, Ci Ying said stiffly, "Oh, so that's it."
Xie Ran shut up and calmed down. She noticed that Ci Ying seemed to be about to cry. Xie Ran didn't know why, but she felt that she shouldn't continue. But she stopped talking, and Ci Ying continued to cry. This was the first time she had seen Ci Ying like this. She carefully hugged Ci Ying and asked, "What's wrong?"
Ci Ying shook her head, and shook her head again. The wounds where Xie Ran had hugged her had already healed, but the pain seemed to be remembered by her body. She was not someone who was afraid of pain, but it still hurt so much that she could hardly breathe.
March is the day when the princess invites people to enjoy the flowers, and April is the anniversary of the lady's death.
Ci Ying had no idea what happened next. She knew she had done something wrong, and she hadn't found a way out. She had been on guard in the study, telling herself to stick to her heart, but she had forgotten that the Xie family had more than one master. She even felt smug about Xie Anyun's stupidity being punished. How could she not be stupid?
These days...isn't she another Xie Anyun?
Even though she was on guard, she was still too optimistic about power.
The person above blew a breath and her whole body was torn into pieces.
If she could go back to half a year ago, Ci Ying felt that she would be more cautious. The lady's happiness, the teacher's praise, and the change in the students' attitude in the academy made her lose her composure. She seemed to see the look of the scholars in her childhood again.
In the academy's assessment this month, Ciying did not get first place, but only got tenth place.
The Master said nothing, nor did he recite anyone else's writing. Ciying didn't show the scroll to the Madam. The Madam was already very ill and didn't need to see it anymore. Occasionally, Ciying thought about what had happened since the Madam left, and she privately sought help from Aunt Yusheng. Aunt Yusheng was exhausted by the Madam's affairs, but she still listened attentively.
She didn't cry when she said this, but Aunt Yusheng did. She confessed to Aunt Yusheng, but Aunt Yusheng held her in her arms, tenderness and tears falling together. Aunt Yusheng said, "Child, you are not wrong. What did you do wrong? It's not your fault that you were sold into the mansion as a slave at a young age. It's not your fault that you are smart and talented. It's them who are wrong, it's this world..."
Ci Ying heard Aunt Yu Sheng promise her again: "Don't worry, child. You will definitely have a good place to go after the madam leaves. Auntie promises you, don't be afraid of the old lady. Don't be afraid. If they treat you like that again, just tell me." At the end, Aunt Yu Sheng's eyes were full of sadness and anger.
Ci Ying didn't think that Yu Sheng, a nanny, could fight against the old lady who was the head of the family. It might even be that the old lady just made a casual remark, and the people below did it layer by layer, and when it fell on her, it became a board stained with pain, trembling her soul all the way.
She didn't ask for justice. When Xie Ran asked her why, why she wasn't being asked to return to the academy despite doing so poorly on the exam, Ci Ying replied, "That's just how it is. Master Xie had just been transferred from Qingzhou to Chang'an. You are his child, so there will always be some injustice. That's just the way the world is." Xie Ran was silent for a long time, then began to study diligently.
Ci Ying looked at Aunt Yusheng and felt that the young lady was surrounded by good people. Madam was good, Aunt Yusheng was good, and the young lady herself was even better. She shook her head: "Not now, not since that time. Please don't tell Madam, Madam."
After she finished speaking, Aunt Yusheng started crying again.
Ci Ying didn't dare to speak.
The sound of reading and the teacher's lectures filled the air in the academy. As time passed, it was March. A dozen days before the flower-viewing banquet invited by the princess, Ru Zhen suddenly came back.
After not seeing each other for a few months, Ci Ying felt that Ru Zhen, with whom she grew up, was a little strange.
Ru Zhen stopped laughing, came back and threw herself into her arms, and told her, "Sister, my father is dead."
Ci Ying was stunned as she heard Ru Zhen say in her arms, "Dad lost all the money in the family. He broke his leg and had no money to see a doctor. Then he developed a high fever that wouldn't go away. He recovered, but then he got sick again and again. He died just after winter."
Ci Ying really wanted to comfort Ru Zhen, but she didn't know why she couldn't say it. Ru Zhen had never truly believed her.
She continued, "You didn't have any money at that time so you could borrow from me. But it's too late to talk about this now, Ruzhen, don't cry..."
Ci Ying felt that nothing she did could comfort Ru Zhen. She didn't understand, because she was not like this when she was a child.
When she was little, she was thin and weak. When the young lady was not around, Ru Zhen would stand in front of her and kick away the children who bullied her. Ru Zhen was a house-born child, and those maids from outside did not dare to mess with her. Ru Zhen was like a little bully, hugging her like she was doing now, and saying, "Ci Ying, I will protect you!"
When she was sick, Ru Zhen and the young lady stayed by her side. When the young lady was taken away by the nanny to isolate the disease, Ru Zhen was also taken away. But in the middle of the night, Ru Zhen would sneak into her room. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she saw Ru Zhen with her eyes wide open, muttering: "I won't leave until the disease leaves, huh!"
Later...they grew up.
She and the young lady indulged Ruzhen's little faults because it was Ruzhen. They didn't think it was bad, but only thought it was cute. When did it start to change?
Ciying's thoughts were interrupted by Ruzhen. Ruzhen was still the same as before, touching her nose when she was about to lie. Under the flickering candlelight, Ruzhen touched her nose and asked softly: "Ciying, let's never separate again, okay?"
Ci Ying nodded.
Ru Zhen happily wiped her tears, snuggled into her arms, and whispered, "Ci Ying, let's go to sleep, just like before."
Ciying agreed.
She still wanted to give Ru Zhen a chance. At that time, Ci Ying felt that what she had was too little. She would give Ru Zhen whatever she wanted. What if... What if Ru Zhen was just as simple as when she was a child? Ci Ying offered her neck to Ru Zhen tenderly and numbly.
She was so tired that she had lost the energy to care.
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