Chapter 54
◎Preference. ◎
It was the following morning that Ci Ying heard about the fire in the ancestral hall. She frowned slightly and looked at Ling Yue, who had brought the news: "The fire is so big, are there any casualties?"
She arranged most matters within the mansion, but the ancestral hall was a special case. For centuries, the Xie family ancestral hall had been managed by the elders' hall. It was located extremely far from her courtyard, almost in two different directions.
Because of this, she did not hear about the huge fire late last night.
Ling Yue shook her head. "Master, don't worry. No one was hurt. Even the ancestral hall was completely burned. I took a look from afar this morning, and all that was left was ruins."
"Do you know how the fire started?" Ci Ying rubbed her forehead and asked Ling Shuang to extinguish the incense in the room. Although it was used to calm the mind, she still felt a little uncomfortable and her head was always dizzy.
Ling Yue continued, "The rumor in the mansion is that the guards neglected their duties and allowed willow catkins from outside to drift in, igniting the fire. The guards, fearing responsibility, fled overnight, and by the time anyone else discovered the fire, it was too late."
Ci Ying didn't ask any more questions, just rubbed her forehead.
The rain outside had clearly stopped for a day, but the air was still filled with the scent of rain. It was only early morning, and the sky was covered with wet fog. When Ciying went out, her brows furrowed again. She couldn't explain the feeling of boredom in her heart. In the distance, the wind pressed down the fog, and the weeping willows by the pond swayed stiffly in the wind.
Ci Ying still instructed Ling Yue to pay attention to the things happening in the ancestral hall. Although it had nothing to do with her, it was something that happened in the mansion after all, and as the mistress, she had to pay attention to it.
Lingshuang skillfully put clothes on Ciying and said softly, "Master, please go for a walk in the garden."
Ciying responded softly, and Lingshuang took a lamp and told the maid behind her to prepare some medicinal food for Ciying's return. Ciying wanted to say no, but Lingshuang held her hand and said, "The master has been frowning and looking weak these past two days. If you don't take care of yourself, I'm afraid you'll get sick again."
"I just didn't sleep well." Ci Ying said gently.
The two walked through the thick morning fog. The lantern in Lingshuang's hand could only illuminate the area in front of them. The light from the lantern melted into the mist, dispersing some of the fog around them. They arrived at the garden and rested in the pavilion. Ciying covered her chest, feeling a strange palpitation.
"It's going to rain again." Lingshuang leaned over and stroked Ciying's back, saying softly, "Master, you need to change to thicker bedding in the next two days. The thin blankets you used a few days ago will be too cold when the temperature drops further."
Ci Ying shook her head, frowning as she looked at the fog outside. "Tell someone to clean up the willow catkins in the mansion. There are too many open flames and books in the ancestral hall. It might be because of the fire. There are places like this in the mansion. Ask the people in charge to pay attention to it."
Ling Shuang agreed and said softly, "Master, don't worry. The weather isn't dry at all. I think the incident at the ancestral hall was just a coincidence. It won't happen again."
Ci Ying nodded and looked at the lantern that Ling Shuang had placed on the ground. The flame inside was jumping, as if it was her heart in her chest. After a while, she rubbed her forehead, feeling that she had not rested well in the past few days, and her heart was somehow very flustered.
"Go back." Ci Ying whispered.
The foggy weather lasted for several days and only dissipated on the day Zhu Guang returned. Raindrops fell down Zhu Guang's cheeks, and the wound on his ear had become a dark scar.
Zhu Guang placed the sword on the table and handed the object in his hand to Ci Ying with a smile.
Ci Ying took a look and saw a wooden cage with an emerald green bird inside. The bird looked very similar to Gao Xing, almost like a brother.
Zhu Guang smiled and said, "I saw it on the way there, and when I got back I found it was still there. I thought it was fate, so I caught it. It wasn't really a catch, it was just a coincidence, Ciying, I stretched out my hand, and the kingfisher landed in my palm."
Ci Ying looked down at the bird and smiled for the first time in the past few days: "Yeah, it's fate."
Zhu Guang handed the kingfisher to Ci Ying and said coquettishly, "Ci Ying, can you keep it for me for two days? I've never kept a bird before, and it would be shameful if I killed such a well-behaved little bird."
Seeing Ciying looking at him with a smile, Zhu Guang made a "please, please" gesture. Ciying naturally agreed and said softly, "Just pick me up when you have time."
Zhu Guang lay on Ci Ying, and some of the moisture also stained Ci Ying.
But Zhu Guang was warm all over, so the smell of rain on him was somewhat different from that outside. Ci Ying wiped the raindrops from Zhu Guang's forehead with a handkerchief and asked softly, "How is it?"
Zhu Guang blinked his eyes. "I didn't find them. When I went to look for them, they said that family had died long ago. I don't remember clearly. I didn't have any obsession. So I didn't find them, so forget it. Family is like that..."
Zhu Guang said indifferently: "I don't need it."
Ci Ying touched Zhu Guang's head, and Zhu Guang buried his head in Ci Ying's shoulder and shouted, "More than that, I want to know when Mo Yu will pay attention to me. If I had known earlier, I wouldn't have used those methods in the book."
Ci Ying listened gently, and actually understood that Zhu Guang and Mo Yu were inseparable. Even though Zhu Guang kept telling her that it was okay if Mo Yu ignored her again, and complained, worried, and even angry, Zhu Guang knew in his heart that no matter how unpleasant the words between her and Mo Yu were, they were inseparable.
"Where did the book come from?" Ci Ying asked with a smile.
Zhu Guang put his mouth close to Ci Ying's ear and said, "Young Master saw it in the dark room."
Ci Ying was surprised and hesitated a little: "He would read a book like this?"
Zhu Guang lowered his voice: "No, it belongs to Xie Qingyu. Before Xie Qingyu became a monk, he gave the things to you and asked you to keep them well. You put them in a dark room."
Ci Ying heard Xie Qingyu's name again.
She whispered, "Is that so..."
Zhu Guang laughed again. "There are still many things, such as the love poems written by Xie Qingyu but not sent out, the manuscript of my own novel, the handkerchiefs given by other ladies, so many, they fill up half of the master's secret room. Sometimes when I make Mo Yu angry, I hide in the master's secret room, and Mo Yu won't go in."
Ci Ying listened to Zhu Guang quietly, and occasionally saw a different side of Xie Huaijin.
It was raining outside and it was still raining when Zhu Guang left.
Ci Ying escorted Zhu Guang to the corridor, watched him walk away, then returned to her study and sat down to deal with some matters. The palpitations in her chest subsided a little, but when she picked up her pen, she found ink dripping straight down. By the time she realized what was happening, most of the paper was already black.
It was covered with a black mass, and the originally written part could not be used. Ci Ying sighed lightly, crumpled up the letter paper and put it aside, rubbing her forehead.
There were two birds not far away. The one that Xiaowan brought over was chirping "Happy, Happy", while the one that Zhu Guang fostered with her stood on the pole motionless. After a long time, its eyes, which were as green as its feathers, blinked.
Ci Ying stood up and walked around again, refreshed herself a little, and then continued to deal with the affairs of the mansion.
......
After waiting for another two days, Zhu Guang still couldn't stand it any longer and went directly to find Xie Huaijin.
After not seeing him for half a month, Zhu Guang felt that the young man had become more difficult to approach. The young man's expression was so cold that Zhu Guang spoke cautiously: "Young Master, do you know where Mo Yu is?"
Xie Huaijin paused for a moment with the pen in his hand. Without looking at Zhu Guang, he just shook his head slightly.
Zhu Guang bit her lip lightly. She knew the young man in front of her was lying but she could do nothing about it, so she just exchanged pleasantries. How could she really ask this question? Zhu Guang sat down opposite Xie Huaijin in a flattering manner and lowered her head and said, "I know I was wrong. Young master, just tell me where Mo Yu is and I will go apologize to him. You can't be angry for so long. He has ignored me for a long time."
Zhu Guang pretended to feel wronged. In the past, Xie Huaijin would just look at him expressionlessly and point in a direction, but today, Xie Huaijin simply said, "Zhu Guang, you now have your own name."
Zhu Guang was stunned for a moment, not understanding what it meant.
She looked towards Xie Huaijin and saw that he was pale and sickly. There were some burn scars on his slender wrists. Zhu Guang frowned: "Are Zhu Yi and Zhu Er good-for-nothings? How did they get hurt again?"
Xie Huaijin looked at Zhu Guang calmly, his voice equally calm: "Zhu Guang, you are too willful."
Zhu Guang wanted to refute but didn't know where to start. She looked at Xie Huaijin with an indifferent expression and understood that the young master would not tell her where Mo Yu was today.
She begged for peace: "Sir, is there anyone you want to kill recently? Any number is fine, or I can capture a few to make you happy. I really know I was wrong. I shouldn't have done those things. I really know I was wrong. I was a lie when I said I wouldn't be a secret guard. Haven't I always been by Ciying's side?"
Zhu Guang carefully said Ciying's name and prayed.
But this time, Xie Huaijin just said calmly: "It's useless, go back."
Zhu Guang pursed his lips and said softly, "Then I'll go find it myself. Sir, you've gone too far. I won't help you kill anyone within a month." After that, Zhu Guang ran away.
Xie Huaijin looked at the door that Zhu Guang had not closed tightly, and slowly lowered his eyes.
In the study room where incense was burning, the young man was dressed in plain white clothes, with only the jade crown on his head having a little green. The rest of his clothes were surprisingly white, which made his pale face look even paler, like the snow on the mountains. Besides the coldness, there was silence.
......
Three days later, Ci Ying hurried to the execution hall with her skirt lifted. This was the first time she saw Xie Huaijin since the last time she took the contraceptive medicine in the room. The young man's face was pale, with a thin bloodstain on his neck. He half-closed his eyes and looked coldly at Zhu Guang on the ground.
Zhu Guang was forced to kneel on the ground by Zhu Yi's foot. The soft sword he usually used broke into two pieces and fell to the ground. His fingers were covered in blood, and his eyes were red as he looked at Xie Huaijin on the high seat.
All the secret guards except Zhu Yi were guarding near the execution hall. Seeing Ci Ying lower her head, Ci Ying was not stopped, but her heart beat faster and faster when she met Xie Huaijin's eyes.
Under Xie Huaijin's indifferent gaze, she walked towards Zhu Guang step by step with trembling hands.
"Ciying, come here." Xie Huaijin said softly.
Ci Ying clutched the corner of her clothes and looked at Zhu Guang, but Zhu Guang didn't even look at her. Instead, he stared fiercely at Xie Huaijin on the throne with red eyes. When she was about to resist, Zhu Yiyi stepped on her and she knelt down. Ci Ying couldn't help but yell, "Xie Huaijin!"
"Come here." The young man said again.
Ci Ying clenched her hands, knelt down and helped Zhu Guang up. Seeing the blood on the corner of Zhu Guang's lips, she felt angry and looked at Xie Huaijin: "How could you do this to Zhu Guang?"
She reached out and pushed Zhu Yi away, but Zhu Yi didn't move at all. Zhu Guang shouted, "Ciying, this is none of your business. Go away."
Ci Ying couldn't leave, so she asked softly, "What happened?"
Not far away, the young man watched this scene quietly.
Ci Ying turned her back to him and protected Zhu Guang behind her in a protective posture.
Very familiar.
His wife is indiscriminate and always soft-hearted towards the outsider in the confrontation.
Xie Huaijin watched for a long time and finally felt a little bored.
Ci Ying whispered to Zhu Guang, and Zhu Guang's already red eyes turned even redder, and he finally burst into tears: "I can't find Mo Yu. I can't find him no matter what. This has never happened before. Something must have happened to Mo Yu. The last trace of Mo Yu I found was that he was carrying out a mission for the Wang family."
Ci Ying frowned and whispered, "Is the mission not yet completed?"
Zhu Guang shook his head. "That man is dead. I captured a member of the Wang family and interrogated him. He said they captured Mo Yu and buried him alive, and then let wild dogs eat his body."
Ci Ying's fingertips trembled, and Zhu Guang burst into tears. He wanted to break free from Zhu Yi's shackles and move forward, but he couldn't do it. "Xie Huaijin, I clearly told you that there was a mission for me, why did you let Mo Yu go? You knew Mo Yu was injured, and there were so many people in the Dark Guard Camp. I hate you, I hate you!"
Ci Ying understood the whole story. She turned around and looked at the person on the high seat with a complicated look, but Xie Huaijin didn't look at her.
The young man walked up to Zhu Guang and said calmly, "I told you that Mo Yu left Chang'an, but you didn't believe me."
Zhu Guang's eyes were red. "You're lying, you're lying. I saw Mo Yu's sword tassel in the darkroom yesterday. He never leaves his sword, and there's no way he'd go into the darkroom. There was blood on the sword tassel. It was you, it was you who took it in!"
Ci Ying's hand that was blocking Zhu Guang loosened for a moment, and she looked at Xie Huaijin along with Zhu Guang.
The young man still didn't look at her, but just said to Zhu Guang: "Zhu Guang, I don't need your letter."
Zhu Guang screamed, and even though he was drugged, he still broke free from Zhu Yi's shackles, took out a dagger from his sleeve and pointed it at Xie Huaijin.
The sharp light of the dagger passed across Ci Ying's face and landed on the young man's pale face.
Xie Huaijin finally looked at Ci Ying and asked, "Zhu Guang seems to want to kill me."
Ci Ying's hand trembled, and she looked at the young man without saying anything for a long time.
So Xie Huaijin understood Ciying's choice, as always.
When Xie Huaijin was about to order the secret guards, Ci Ying said in a trembling voice, "She just wants to know about Mo Yu."
"So she can point the sword at me?" The young man's eyes were cold, as if he was meeting Ci Ying for the first time, or as if he finally got to know Ci Ying.
Ci Ying looked at Xie Huaijin, her heart trembling inexplicably, but Zhu Guang behind her was still sobbing. Her eyes were complicated as she said, "She just wants to know about Mo Yu."
Xie Huaijin suddenly chuckled, he raised his eyes, and his eyes were filled with the shadow of Ci Ying.
Ci Ying was looked at by him, and she did not beg like before, but just stood in front of Zhu Guang.
Only then did she discover that there was a faint bloodstain on the neck of the noble young man. When they talked, the blood flowed down in a thin line, making the young man's face look even paler.
But compared with Zhu Guang who was trampled on the ground in a miserable state, with his hands covered in wounds and blood, it seemed so minor.
Ci Ying didn't know why her heart was pounding. It was beating faster and faster, as if it was about to jump out of her body. At that moment when her heart was about to jump out of her body, the young man looked away. Ci Ying's heart suddenly stopped, and her eyes trembled.
Another low laugh was heard in the lobby. Xie Huaijin chuckled softly, his eyebrows and eyes filled with smiles. He raised his eyes and his eyelashes slowly lifted, looking straight at Ci Ying and Zhu Guang. His eyes crawled like a snake from Ci Ying's arm to the girl's straightforward and stiff lips, and finally to those eyes that suppressed anger and worry.
Xie Huaijin finally felt that he was wrong.
He always defines Ciying as soft-hearted or not soft-hearted.
But the moment he ordered the secret guard Ci Ying to subconsciously protect Zhu Guang, Xie Huaijin finally understood that this was not a sign of being soft-hearted. Ci Ying was just protecting the person he cared about, no matter what that person did, no matter whether that person was right or wrong.
She just didn't care about him.
So she stood in front of Ru Zhen, in front of Xiao Wan, chose Li Sheng on the boat, and now stood in front of Zhu Guang.
But Xie Huaijin didn't know why, but still wanted to give it a try.
So he looked straight into Ciying's eyes and said softly, "Ciying, come here."
Ci Ying heard it, but she frowned and said only one sentence: "Xie Huaijin, please explain it to Zhu Guang. I know there is a misunderstanding."
She knew there was a misunderstanding and that everything was just Zhu Guang's conjecture, but she still stood in front of Zhu Guang.
So Xie Huaijin thought again.
She really didn't care about him.
In fact, Xie Huaijin didn’t really need Ci Ying’s attention or anything. He didn’t need anyone standing in front of him. He was just confused.
Why?
His wife was a brilliant and intelligent woman, his wife had ideals and great ambitions. He gave her wings to fly, became the stone under her feet, and gave her everything he had like a river flowing into the sea, but she seemed to be unable to see it.
Compared to status, power and wealth, what she couldn't let go of was the useless tears of those people.
She could see all the noise in the world, and she felt pain even for the grass and trees by the roadside. She bent over and hugged a stranger child in her arms, but she could not see him, could not see his pain, and was reluctant to give him even a single preference and trust.
Why, Ciying.
Xie Huaijin raised his hand slightly and waved it towards Zhu Guang.
The surrounding secret guards immediately took action. Looking at the crowd of people surrounding them, Ci Ying seemed to have returned to the past. She shouted loudly: "Xie Huaijin!"
The secret guard's movements slowed down for a moment. Ci Ying glared at Xie Huaijin angrily, "You promised not to touch anyone around me, Xie Huaijin!"
The gentleness just now was like a mask, Ciying's voice became louder, and the emotions in her eyes gradually became more intense.
Xie Huaijin looked at her, analyzing her emotions, which seemed to be hatred and resentment. He looked at Ci Ying with indifferent eyes and said with a smile: "If only one of her and I could survive today, who would you choose?"
Ci Ying said nothing, but protected Zhu Guang even more closely behind her.
Xie Huaijin watched and knew the answer.
Xie Huaijin thought calmly that there should only be him and Ci Ying left in the world, leaving Ci Ying with no choice but to choose him forever and ever.
"Go down." The young man said lightly.
Zhu Yi paused for a moment, but when he met the young man's gaze, he retreated silently.
Zhu Guang bit his lips until they were raw, and clenched his fists as he looked hatefully at Xie Huaijin who was sitting on the high seat.
He was dressed in a pure white robe, untouched by dust, and the blood on his neck only added a touch of holiness. Zhu Guang said hatefully, "I won't kill you. I won't do anything Mo Yu doesn't want me to do. I only ask you to tell me where Mo Yu is."
Ci Ying lowered her hands a little, and she felt a little overwhelmed, but she knew that she couldn't faint at this moment, so she tried her best to hold on. She pinched her hands, but found that they were already full of pinch marks.
She looked at Xie Huaijin silently. After hearing what Zhu Guang said, the young man asked, "Really?"
The ferocious feeling just now passed away in an instant. Zhu Guang's lips trembled and he cried, "Yes, no matter what kind of mission you assigned to Mo Yu that led to his death, I will not do anything to you..."
She couldn't have attacked Xie Huaijin in the first place. The bloodstain on Xie Huaijin's neck was left accidentally. If she really wanted to attack Xie Huaijin, Xie Huaijin's pulse would have stopped beating before the secret guards stopped her.
She just...
Ci Ying patted Zhu Guang on the back. For some reason, her heart started beating faster and faster.
The young man looked at Zhu Guang with indifferent eyes and said for a long time: "Do you really know what Mo Yu wants?"
Zhu Guang cried and said, "He wanted you to be well and everything would go smoothly for you. For your sake, he was even willing to sacrifice his own life to assassinate Yuwen Shu."
Xie Huaijin looked at Zhu Guang.
no.
He even wanted to repeat Zhu Guang's words.
Xie Huaijin recalled the past. In the study, Mo Yu suddenly knelt down. Before he put down his pen, Mo Yu had already spoken: "I hope you can conceal the news of my death."
Xie Huaijin was stunned for a moment and asked, "Why?"
He actually asked why Mo Yu wanted to die, but Mo Yu said to him: "If Zhu Guang knew, he would die with me."
It was from that day that Xie Huaijin learned that the Xie family's secret guards would be given a kind of drug from the moment they entered the "Beast Theory". It was a medicine that was also a poison. It could make the secret guards' bodies healthier and more physically fit, but it would also end their lives at the age of thirty.
As for Mo Yu, who had suffered the punishment from the elders together with him in his early years, the medicine took effect even faster and was almost here.
The young man's hands trembled for a rare moment. He asked Mo Yu, the only person who had walked past him and stood behind him in his youth, "What if I can't hide it?"
Mo Yu was silent for a long time, and finally said, "Just do your best, sir."
......
It's raining heavily.
Zhu Guang knelt in disbelief before Mo Yu's grave. Although she had guessed it when she saw the blood-stained sword tassel, she still couldn't accept it when she actually saw it. She dug the soil bit by bit, and when her fingers were bloody and fleshy, she smiled at the empty grave. But the next moment, Xie Huaijin said calmly, "He was afraid you would insist on being buried with him, so he jumped off the cliff and died. This is a cenotaph."
Zhu Guang looked at Xie Huaijin blankly and blinked.
The young man also lowered his eyes: "You can choose not to believe it, but you'd better not believe it."
Zhu Guang burst into tears, but there was no sound. Ci Ying watched Zhu Guang hug the grave little by little and bury his head in the soil. The rain fell on the scar on the tip of Zhu Guang's ear.
A long time ago, Mo Yu looked at Zhu Guang. The girl's eyes were red because of the aggrievedness caused by his alienation.
Mo Yu really wanted to touch her head like he did when they were little, but in the end he didn't raise his hand.
What is freedom?
Freedom is a little bird in Mo Yu's palm. When Mo Yu opens his hands, the little bird will chirp and fly into his palm.
So Mo Yu couldn't open his hands.
Not only could he not open his hands, he also had to close his mouth, shut his eyes, and poke out his ears. In fact, there was no such thing. At the end of his life, he watched Zhu Guang fly through the woods. The leaves fell gently as Zhu Guang danced, and the light in the sky danced for him. She was a piece of light.
【Author’s words】
[Spreading hands]
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