Chapter 63
In the cramped rented room, Zhou Chengze lay on a yellowed mattress in the corner, with empty wine bottles piled up on the floor beside him.
Half of his profile was hidden in the darkness, making it impossible to see his expression, but his dark circles under his eyes and his gaunt, almost unrecognizable jawline all highlighted the haggardness of the face's owner.
Ever since he dreamed of cheating on his wife, Zhou Chengze would vomit whenever he saw himself in the mirror. Later, it gradually evolved into him feeling nauseous whenever he saw anything reflective, like a mirror.
He also went to see a doctor, but the doctor said it might be a psychological problem and suggested that he make an appointment to see a psychiatrist.
However, after paying the registration fee, he did not go to see a doctor. Instead, he moved out of his dormitory and hid in this basement where there was no sunlight all day long.
After moving out of the dormitory, Zhou Chengze stopped attending classes and stopped going to the work-study programs he had previously found. He just spent his days drinking and wasting his time, living a decadent life like a stray dog.
However, whenever he closes his eyes, he has the same dream again, in which the image of his infidelity is like vines, tightly binding him.
Even he himself couldn't quite explain whether it was these dreams that wouldn't let him go, or whether he himself wouldn't let himself go.
He has been absent from classes for over a month, and even his counselor has given him an ultimatum, telling him that if he doesn't return to school soon, he will face suspension at the end of the semester.
However, after seeing the message, Zhou Chengze did not change anything; on the contrary, his drinking became even worse that day.
During those two months of depression, Zhou Xinyi also found out the location of his rented apartment from his roommate and came to visit him a few times.
But he always avoided seeing her until Zhou Xinyi knocked on the door all night, and the neighbors were so disturbed that they almost called the police, before he finally let her in.
When Zhou Xinyi came in and saw him so dejected, she burst into tears before she could even say anything.
However, Zhou Chengze was unmoved by her tears and simply asked her what she was doing here instead of attending class.
She reached out her hand to touch his cheek, but Zhou Chengze dodged it. Seeing that she still didn't explain her intentions, he repeated what he had just said.
What are you doing here instead of attending class?
Zhou Xinyi forced back her tears, deceiving herself that he had avoided her earlier because he didn't want anyone to touch him, not because he hated her.
She didn't understand what she had done wrong. Back in the hospital in Northern Europe, she had taken care of him tirelessly for two days and two nights, but when he woke up, he told Xiang Wan not to tell her that he had woken up.
Now he's moved out of the dorm without a word, and hasn't even told her where he's going. It was only after the counselor contacted her that she learned he was not only skipping classes, but had even moved off-campus.
Is it because he dislikes her? But what did she do wrong? She didn't do anything wrong, so why is he gradually distancing himself from her? And why is he being so cold and distant towards her?
Zhou Xinyi didn't understand, but she couldn't pretend to be stupid any longer: "Why do we have to move out of the dormitory?"
"Is it because you hate me?" she asked, as if she found it difficult to say, or as if her last bit of self-respect had been shattered. "Last time in Northern Europe, I heard you tell Xiang Wan, 'Don't tell me you've woken up.'"
"Did I do something that made you feel annoyed?" Zhou Xinyi asked, her voice trembling with tears.
The look in her eyes when she looked at Zhou Chengze even carried a hint of pleading, as if she was begging him not to ignore her, even though she didn't think she had done anything wrong.
Although she liked Zhou Chengze, she never confessed or expressed it. Moreover, she knew that her brother liked Xiang Wan, but she never interfered with him.
When Zhou Xinyi was ten years old, she learned that her brother had someone he liked, and she has been carefully hiding her feelings ever since.
Looking at his sister's swollen eyes from crying, Zhou Chengze across from her felt a pang of pain in his own eyes. He wanted to comfort her and explain that she hadn't done anything wrong; it was his own fault.
But looking at Zhou Xinyi's face, he couldn't help but recall the ambiguous text messages they exchanged in his dream.
A wave of nausea surged up, making him want to vomit again. He tried to hold it in and not vomit in front of her, but he couldn't stop the churning in his stomach.
Zhou Chengze rushed to the toilet and vomited into the toilet bowl. Zhou Xinyi, who was behind him, saw him vomit and was stunned for a moment before realizing that he was looking at her face, which was why he vomited.
Realizing that her brother really hated her, she seemed to suffer a huge psychological shock, and took a step back, almost unsteady on her feet.
Zhou Xinyi resisted the urge to rush out the door, and slowly walked to the bathroom door. Leaning against the wall, she mechanically asked, "Brother, are you alright?"
After vomiting, Zhou Chengze calmed down. He leaned on the sink, looking somewhat pained, and said, "Xinyi, it wasn't because of you that I vomited."
Outside the door, Zhou Xinyi let her body slide slowly down the wall, silently shedding tears.
The two siblings were separated by a door, neither able to see the other's expression, but both were somewhat relaxed because they had enough space to breathe.
Zhou Xinyi spoke first, asking, "So why did you move out?"
"Because of my own problems."
"Is it because she rejected you?"
Both of them knew who "she" referred to. Zhou Chengze was silent for a while, but he didn't want to lie: "She did reject me, but not because of this."
Are you very sad?
Zhou Chengze's voice was a little hoarse: "A little."
Zhou Xinyi understood his sadness, because at that moment she also felt a dull ache in her heart: "Will you still talk to me in the future?"
“We’re siblings, how could I ignore you? I just…” He paused, “...needs some time.”
"Okay." Zhou Xinyi closed her eyes, letting the tears slide down her cheeks, but her mood was much brighter than before. 'As long as he still cares about her, that's enough.'
The two stayed together silently for a while longer, until Zhou Xinyi's legs went numb from squatting. She stood up and said to the door, "Brother, I'll be going now."
"Okay, be careful on the road."
Zhou Xinyi had already reached the door, but she was still a little worried: "Drink less alcohol, I'll come see you again next month."
"good."
"By the way, bro, my counselor told me that if you don't go to class soon, you'll face suspension."
"Yes, I know, I'll see how it goes."
"good."
After Zhou Xinyi left, Zhou Chengze came out of the bathroom and lay motionless on the mattress for several hours.
He hadn't slept for almost a day; he was very tired but just couldn't fall asleep.
Because the rented room was in a basement, it was always dark inside, day or night, unless the lights were on. Zhou Chengze glanced at the time and realized it was already 1 a.m.
There was no mirror in the rented room, which others might find shabby, but he liked it very much. He simply washed up and went out.
It was 2 a.m. when he went out, and there was no one else on the street except him.
Zhou Chengze was wearing a black coat, and he seemed to blend into the street. Unlike his previous eye-catching appearance, he now looked more like a walking corpse, and even hoped that no one would notice him.
He walked along the familiar streets, following the same route he took every day, until he reached an apartment building. He squatted down in a corner where no one noticed him and began to smoke.
He had almost used up his savings from working part-time to pay his tuition. The reason he moved out was because the basement he was renting was very close to Xiang Guan's apartment.
After learning about the heinous things he had done in his past life, Zhou Chengze was so guilty that he couldn't sleep day or night. He could only feel at ease when he was close to Xiang Wan.
But he was also afraid that Xiang Wan would hate him even more if she saw him, so he only dared to come here late at night when everyone was asleep.
At 3 a.m., when everyone was fast asleep, Zhou Chengze squatted on the steps in the corner, smoking one cigarette after another.
He smoked a cigarette and stared blankly into space. These were a few rare hours of relaxation for him during the day. Although he couldn't see Xiang Wan, he could relax as long as he knew she was close to him.
Only when the cigarette butt burned his index and middle fingers did he hurriedly shake it off and then stomp it out completely with the sole of his shoe.
Zhou Chengze only felt somewhat sleepy after finishing the entire pack of cigarettes he had brought.
Instead of getting up and going back to his rented room, he wrapped his coat tighter around himself and leaned against the steps behind him, looking at the dark night sky.
Only here could he escape the nightmares. The weather was much colder at night than during the day. He put on his coat hood and drifted off to sleep.
But because the wind made him a little cold, he didn't sleep very well and would wake up intermittently.
Half-asleep, Zhou Chengze was awakened by the smell of smoke. Startled awake, he leaned against the stone steps behind him, his head still a little dizzy, until he felt the smoke around him getting stronger and stronger, at which point he staggered to his feet.
He frowned as he looked at the rising black smoke, still trying to find where the fire was. Because of his constant drinking and smoking, coupled with insomnia, he had difficulty focusing his gaze on one spot.
Therefore, he could only look closely, carefully checking every window of the apartment building, and found that the black smoke seemed to be coming from the stairwell on Xiang Guan's floor.
Zhou Chengze was stunned for a moment. His brain was still a beat slow due to insomnia, but his body had already reacted and ran towards the apartment building.
However, because his legs went numb from squatting for too long, he tripped and fell while going up the steps, and his face was cut by the broken marble, causing blood to flow continuously.
But he seemed completely oblivious to the pain, and ran towards the 15th floor where Xiang Wan was.
The higher he went, the thicker the black smoke became. The stairs were filled with residents who had been woken up by the fire alarm and were rushing downstairs. Everyone was hurrying downstairs, but Zhou Chengze went against the flow of people.
The man coming downstairs complained that he was in the way, blocking the stairs, and kept cursing at him.
"Where did this idiot come from? The building is on fire, aren't you going downstairs to your death?"
"Honey, don't pay attention to him. Talk less, or you'll inhale the smoke."
"It's all because that guy in the black hat is in the way."
More and more residents were awakened by the fire and came downstairs. The smoke grew thicker and thicker, and the crowd became increasingly noisy, pushing and shoving each other, all wanting to get downstairs first.
Zhou Chengze ignored the man's insults, simply plugged his nose with his right elbow, and resolutely went upstairs.
He noticed that the lights on Xiang Wan's floor were off while he was smoking, and he didn't see her in the crowd that had just come downstairs, although he figured that Xiang Wan would definitely have heard such a commotion.
But he was still afraid, afraid of that one in a thousand chance, after all, they had encountered something as rare as an avalanche while they were abroad.
The higher he climbed, the more thick the smoke he inhaled, and his steps became unsteady, but he still persisted in climbing.
Zhou Chengze had already climbed to the 15th floor. He kicked open the fire door and banged hard on Xiang Wan's security door.
He knocked for a long time, knocking hard for about a minute, but there was still no answer. The sirens of fire trucks were already sounding outside, but he didn't dare to gamble on whether Xiang Wan was not home or simply hadn't heard him.
He kicked the security door with all his might, but due to prolonged insomnia and the smoke he had inhaled while climbing the stairs, he didn't have much strength left.
Fortunately, the security door was already somewhat brittle from the fire, so Zhou Chengze kicked it open and rushed inside.
He called her name throughout the room, but received no response, until he kicked open the bedroom door and met Xiang Wan's eyes, who was lying on the bed with a frown.
Xiang Wan was almost unconscious at this point. She had a fever last night, so she took antipyretics and went to sleep.
However, because the pills contained sedative ingredients, she became somewhat drowsy. She didn't even hear the fire alarm downstairs and was only awakened by the noise of Zhou Chengze kicking down the door.
Xiang Wan was still somewhat disoriented, and she forced her eyelids open to watch Zhou Chengze carry her out of the building.
"Zhou Chengze? What are you doing?" Her voice sounded weak because of the fever. She wanted to question him but noticed the thick, frightening smoke in the stairwell.
She was about to ask what was going on when Zhou Chengze put her on the ground and covered her mouth and nose with a wet towel: "Xiang Wan, cover it up."
After giving him his instructions, he picked her up and carried her from the 15th floor downstairs. She only came to her senses after he carefully placed her on the ground.
The surrounding crowd was noisy, discussing how the fire started.
Xiang Wan stared blankly at another fire truck that had sounded its siren to arrive as reinforcements not far away.
Although the fire was quite large, it was quickly extinguished after three fire trucks arrived. The fire chief and property management staff were gathered together, and the two leading firefighters said they would come back tomorrow to inspect the source of the fire and check for any potential fire hazards.
Soon after, several fire trucks drove away. Xiang Wan, wrapped in the coat Zhou Chengze had draped over her shoulders, glanced at him. He was looking at her too, and their eyes met.
The two emerged from the inferno, their faces and bodies covered in soot. Seeing each other's disheveled appearance, they couldn't help but chuckle.
Xiang Wan's gaze swept across the crowd, then fell on Zhou Chengze. Ever since she slapped him at the Shanshui Manor, she hadn't seen him at school.
Looking at Zhou Chengze, who had saved her for the third time, she raised an eyebrow, her voice sounding somewhat languid in the darkness: "Let's go, it's almost dawn, let's go get a cup of coffee somewhere."
Zhou Chengze smiled slightly upon hearing this and said, "Okay."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com