Chapter 6: The Number One Playboy of My Wife's Brother
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Just as Wen Zhixu was instructing his servant to fetch medicine, a shout suddenly came from behind the courtyard wall: "It's all that scoundrel Wen Zhixu's fault!"
The insults were so absurd that he paused, wondering if he was hallucinating.
"It's all his fault!" someone else chimed in.
It was immediately recognizable as Lin Xihe's voice.
The lazy, chubby maidservant beside her suddenly adopted a studious and inquisitive demeanor: "Miss, what does 'scoundrel' mean?"
"It means bastard."
“Bastard…” The maid pondered for a moment, then her voice suddenly lit up with excitement, “Miss, I get it! It’s that big turtle that’s crawling up from the pool to sunbathe!”
"Haha, you're quite quick to understand!" The girl's laughter echoed through the courtyard, a truly delightful sound.
Wen Zhixu's temple throbbed slightly, and he immediately turned and walked out. He couldn't stay here any longer. He would rather squeeze in with his grandfather than live here.
Hilarious, he lives next to Lin Xihe?
Unless he dies.
He'll move now!
The turtle in the pond glanced at Lin Xihe, then leaped into the pond with a thud and disappeared into the water plants.
Lin Xihe said apologetically, "I wasn't scolding you."
The small, dark figure was seen swimming leisurely along the waterway toward the boundary of the courtyard wall.
"Qingwu, did it go visiting other people's houses?"
It turns out that the ponds of the Lin and Wen residences are connected.
"Don't worry, Miss, it will come back when it's hungry."
"Does no one next door feed it?"
“When the Duchess of the Duke’s mansion was still alive, the fish and turtles in Tinghe Pavilion always loved to swim there. But later, Madam Wen…” Qingwu stopped speaking.
"What's wrong with her?" Lin Xihe held her breath as the conversation turned to Wen Zhixu's mother. If she obediently complied and married Wen Zhixu as her elders wished, wouldn't Madam Wen become her mother-in-law?
However, obedience was out of the question. The grudges between them deepened, and she and Wen Zhixu grew to loathe each other.
Seeing that her mistress had just recovered from her illness, Qingwu was afraid that she would overwork herself, so she did not mention the past of Madam Wen, but only told her the well-known rumors about the Wen family.
Since Madam Wen left the mansion, Wen Zhixu has been like a possessed child. The once studious young man has become increasingly melancholic and unpredictable. He spends his days playing with rare birds, even insisting on having exquisitely crafted birdcages; he also leads Lin Pinyan to places of cockfighting and dog racing, where he spends lavishly at cricket jars.
"Don't make excuses for Mei Qiang's miserable life. He's a third-generation official, living too comfortably. Once his family falls on hard times and he's so poor he has to eat cornbread every day, all his spoiled brat habits will be cured."
"Miss, what does 'beautiful, strong, and tragic' mean? And what is 'steamed corn bread'?"
"..." It's her fault for talking too much, and she accidentally spoke in modern language again. Mei Qiang Can couldn't explain it clearly. Lin Xihe only said that Wotou is a kind of steamed bun without filling.
Qingwu: "Similar to the steamed buns from the Imperial Academy? I've never eaten them."
Lin Xihe felt sorry for her "little assistant" and said generously, "Where can I buy it? I'll buy it for you."
"I heard that's food only available in the Imperial Academy's dining hall; it's not available outside." Qingwu's eyes welled up with tears; the young lady was so kind to her.
Lin Xihe, however, remembered that the gourd-shaped bun Wen Zhixu had given her was also called that, and couldn't help but scoff: "Tch, don't bother with that lousy bun. I'll make you a hamburger another day."
Qingwu blinked: A hamburger? What's that good stuff?
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Wen Qi knelt down and held the rosewood tray high: "Second Young Master, the Golden Wound Jade Powder has been brought."
A tasseled towel lay on the plate, upon which rested a delicate white jade medicine bottle—the medicine bestowed by the emperor.
Wen Qi said respectfully, "I will send it to Miss Lin right away."
"No need." Wen Zhixu snatched the medicine bottle and tucked it into his inner sleeve.
Wen Qi: "But Miss Lin's injury...?" She is the future young mistress, so the second young master must be concerned about her.
The sound of splashing water came from the backyard. Mo Hu dove into the pond and soon climbed ashore, wet and with something in his mouth.
Mo Hu placed the turtle he had caught at his master's feet, his tail swishing loudly.
Wen Zhixu lowered his eyes and stared at the tortoise shell, Lin Xihe's words "bastard" exploding in his ears.
His face suddenly darkened: "Let her suffer to death."
Wen Qi remained silent. What grudge could there be? Although the Second Young Master was usually capricious, he was by no means such a mean-spirited person.
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The next day, news of the fire at the Duke Wen's residence spread throughout Shengjing. Wen Hongyuan, as the current prime minister, was specifically asked by the emperor during the morning court session whether his residence was safe.
After the court session, Wen Hongyuan ordered a thorough investigation into the cause of the fire. According to a servant's recollection, he seemed to have heard several firecrackers before the fire started.
Firecrackers? Wen Zhixu squinted.
At this moment, the "culprit" is sitting in the classroom, yawning incessantly.
The teacher who was driven away by Lin Xihe has come to give a lesson today.
As soon as Wen Zhixu stepped into Lisu Academy, he heard the teacher call out in a deep voice: "Lin Pinyan".
Suddenly, the old man's voice changed abruptly: "What are you drawing?"
Lin Pinyan, whose name was called, looked around in a panic, and suddenly caught sight of Wen Zhixu outside the school.
His eyes lit up. Hey, a powerful backer has arrived!
The boy boldly took out a folding fan hidden under the table. On the plain white fan was a portrait of a person with a charred face, barely discernible as a woman from her hair bun.
"Hahahaha—" The room erupted in laughter.
The teacher, who had previously taken half a day off, once again bristled with anger: "Lin Pinyan! I asked you to copy down the aphorisms from 'The Biographies of Merchants,' and what did you do?! Is this how you read the classics?! What... what are you drawing?!"
"This is my elder sister." Lin Pinyan straightened her back, her tone carrying a hint of arrogance.
When the teacher saw the portrait, he was so angry that he felt a chill run down his spine—the rumors of the Lin family's female ghost coming back to life were rampant, and he had taken leave the other day because he was so angry with this Lin family girl! Now her dark face was painted on a fan, which was simply an open provocation to the school.
Wen Zhixu, standing outside the door, felt a sudden chill in his heart—Lin Pinyan was clearly shouting in his direction. He immediately sensed something was wrong and turned to leave.
The boy's voice rang out: "Second brother...brother-in-law!"
"Young Master Wen, please wait." The Master's voice rang out, filled with resentment. "Take your future brother-in-law away. My humble abode cannot accommodate such a great figure."
The school erupted in chaos, with children's voices rising and falling in unison.
"So, Young Master Wen is Lin Pinyan's brother-in-law!"
"He really dares to marry a female ghost? He's got guts!"
"Why is Sister Lin Pinyan's face black? Could she be the Black Impermanence? Young Master Wen's face is quite white..."
As soon as he finished speaking, several gazes turned toward Wen Zhixu.
The children suddenly realized: "So he's the White Impermanence!"
"Black Impermanence and White Impermanence are a pair!"
Wen Zhixu, who was delighted to receive a nickname: "..."
Well, that's great now. In less than half a day, every disheveled child in Shengjing knew that he and Lin Xihe were dead.
The classroom was in an uproar and disorderly manner, so the teacher frowned and said, "Lin Pinyan, make a copy of 'Biographies of Merchants' fifty times."
Lin Pin-yan: "Fifty times...?!"
The gilded plaque of the Duke of Wen's mansion is magnificent.
"Brother-in-law—" The chubby boy ran forward, his fleshy body blocking Wen Zhixu's way home. He held the ugly fan in both hands and handed it over, saying in a drawn-out tone, "Second brother~ here's the fan for you."
This kid is good at manipulating people's hearts; he bets on Wen Zhixu's soft heart.
Wen Zhixu indeed stopped, his eyes catching glimpses of the boy's severed arm and the poorly painted fan.
"My sister's portrait should be reserved for the person she loves," Lin Pinyan said emphatically.
Wen Zhixu immediately interrupted her: "Who is her sweetheart!"
"You're not going to be my brother-in-law anymore?" Lin Pinyan's lips twitched, and a sour feeling welled up in her nose. "Second brother, I like you the most. Only you are willing to play with me."
That's true. Of the ten times Lin Pinyan skipped class, at least six were because Wen Zhixu took him to play games, and the remaining four were because the chubby boy insisted on coming along.
"That day you said your second sister told you to light the firecrackers?" Wen Zhixu suddenly changed the subject.
Although Lin Pinyan's mother was no pushover, Wen Zhixu knew him well—this kid was all bark and no bite. He was too shrewd to come up with such a scheme.
"Huh?" The chubby boy looked up and nodded hurriedly. "My eldest sister died, and my second sister was overjoyed. She said she could marry you in place of my eldest sister. I didn't want to set off firecrackers, but my second sister said that once she marries into the Wen family, I can live in your house with her. You two will take me to play every day."
Preface to the text: "..."
"Second brother, are you still willing to be my brother-in-law?" Lin Pinyan said, then stuffed the fan into Wen Zhixu's sleeve.
The fan ribs collided with the jade bottle, making a crisp sound. Wen Zhixu instinctively gripped the fan handle.
"What?" His eyebrows drooped slightly. He was much taller than the child, and his shadow fell on the childish face. "If I don't become this 'brother-in-law,' you won't live anymore?"
Lin Pin-yen: "There are many ways to live life."
A teenager spouting platitudes.
“Having a brother-in-law is one way of life, not having one is another.” His eyes sparkled. “Of course, life with a brother-in-law is the most fun!”
This kid, he wasn't spoiled for nothing. Wen Zhixu's lips curled slightly: "What is interesting?"
"Don't you think my older sister is hilarious?" Lin Pinyan beamed at the mention of "Lin Xihe," as if Lin Xihe could tickle his funny bone from afar. "She used to be a dullard, not funny at all. She's different now!"
Wen Zhixu pictured the disheveled yet comical face in the artificial cave and thought to himself: Last night's scene was indeed hilarious.
“Brother-in-law,” Lin Pinyan tugged at his sleeve, “could you help me copy it thirty times?” He would figure out the remaining twenty times himself.
Wen Zhixu slapped away the brat's chubby hand, threw down the words "Let your interesting older sister copy it for you," and turned and went back home.
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Upon returning to the manor, the steward questioned each of the servants in the courtyard.
Within an hour, the suspect was identified—this person was the cook responsible for boiling water in the bathhouse.
According to the cook's confession, he was momentarily confused and bribed by the second young lady of the Lin family to add special spices to Wen Zhixu's bath.
“Absolutely no poison! Miss Lin said this is a rare product sold by a Persian merchant, exactly the same as the spices she uses... She, she is in love with the Second Young Master.”
Wen Zhixu nearly rolled his eyes to the heavens! Are you making cured meat here? Who wants to taste the same as that fat woman?
"Where did those firecrackers come from?"
"Second Young Master, please forgive me!" The cook prostrated himself on the ground, trembling. "Miss Lin said there were extra firecrackers, and she wanted to give them to my unruly child..."
While he was on duty, the firecracker fell from his arms. In his panic, he tried to extinguish the fuse but instead kicked over the candlestick, causing a major disaster.
The root of all evil ultimately points to Lin Pinyan's beloved older sister, Lin Zhirou, who shares the same parents.
People with the surname Lin are practically everywhere, they're all a nuisance.
Wen Zhixu made up his mind that his engagement with Lin Xihe had to be called off. Even if the engagement was called off, the marriage would not fall to Lin Zhirou.
How could he possibly have an entanglement with a woman surnamed Lin in this lifetime!
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