Chapter 25 Humiliating the Green Tea Bitch
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While Lin Xihe was lost in thought, Qingwu ran over on the stone path and called out "Miss" from afar.
She turned around at the sound—a string of bright red candied hawthorns was being held high by Qingwu.
Her eyes naturally curved down: "You added sesame seeds?"
Qingwu exclaimed happily, "I added it! The vendor said I didn't know how to add sesame seeds and that it would ruin the sweetness and crispness of the candied hawthorn, so I had to go to the tavern and ask someone to sprinkle a handful of sesame seeds on it—it only cost one coin, wasn't that a good deal?"
"What does that vendor know? Only candied hawthorns with sesame seeds have soul!" Lin Xihe crunched down a hawthorn.
"Here, you can try some too." She handed it over.
"How can that be?" Qingwu quickly declined. How could a maidservant share her mistress's food?
Lin Xihe didn't insist. After walking down the bridge, there were still two bridges ahead. So she took Qingwu and strolled along the riverbank, eating as they went.
The two, one thin and one fat, master and servant, swayed leisurely in Wen Zhixu's sight. Every few steps the girl took, one of the red berries in her hand would disappear.
He watched as the five fruits fell into her stomach one after another, and suddenly, the delicate tea fragrance between her lips and teeth was invaded by a domineering sourness.
"What are you looking at again?" Xie Qi took a few steps forward, intending to peek down.
“A leopard.”
"A rabbit? Let me see." Xie Qi became interested and leaned half of his body out of the window.
Wen Zhixu kicked Xie Qi, who swayed and fell to the ground, screaming in agony. He hadn't seen anything, though he was honest.
Miss Zhao was turned away at Wen Zhixu's place and lost face, so she left the teahouse with her servants.
After walking a few steps, a young woman came into view.
When Miss Zhao stood in front of Lin Xihe, the latter still had sugar crumbs and sesame seeds stuck to the corners of her mouth.
"Oh, isn't this Miss Lin?" She looked Lin Xihe up and down.
The green grass, like a mountain collapsing, blocked Lin Xihe's way, in a posture of complete protection.
Lord Zhao's official rank was two levels lower than Lin Zhaoheng's, yet his entourage was several times larger. Qingwu glanced at the six servants behind Miss Zhao and swallowed hard: Was she going to take on all six of them?
Qingwu: "...Miss?"
"Hmm?" Lin Xihe rested her chin on Qingwu's shoulder and stared intently at Miss Zhao.
Qingwu lowered her voice: "This servant is dying, and I want a cedar coffin."
Lin Xihe: "..."
She immediately shoved Qingwu aside, telling her to "get out of the way," then raised an eyebrow at Miss Zhao, asking arrogantly, "And who are you?"
Miss Zhao scoffed, "You've even forgotten me? If you ask me, after suffering from dementia for so long, even if you wake up, how clear-headed can your mind really be?"
It seemed this Miss Zhao knew her. Lin Xihe had a sweet and sour hawthorn in her mouth. With such delicious food before her, she didn't want to spoil her appetite. She'd finish it first and then retaliate. Chewing, chewing, chewing, she munched away.
Qingwu retorted, "What nonsense are you spouting! My young lady has just recovered from a serious illness, and she's more astute than anyone else right now!"
Lin Xihe stopped chewing: It sounds like she's saying I "wasn't originally very bright".
The marriage between the Wen and Lin families was originally a topic of conversation among the noble ladies of Shengjing. The second young master of the Wen family was incredibly handsome, but fate played a cruel trick on him; his future wife was mentally challenged. This thought lingered in Miss Zhao's heart, causing her inexplicable resentment. Humiliating Lin Xihe became the most natural outlet for her frustration.
Miss Zhao brushed away the willow catkins that had drifted onto her sleeve: "Since Miss Lin is so clever, do you know where Young Master Wen is right now?"
Lin Xihe rolled her eyes to the sky: Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you! It's a waste of time to say a single word to this green tea b*tch.
Unexpectedly, her cuffs tightened, revealing several chubby fingers, and a plump head emerged from under the cuffs, accompanied by a bright, silly grin.
It's undoubtedly her younger brother.
No need to guess, he skipped class.
Lin Pinyan squeezed next to Lin Xihe, blocking Miss Zhao's view, and his plump body suddenly became majestic: "Of course my sister knows! My future brother-in-law just brought her here. He drove the car himself, without even a driver. My sister even paid him a silver ingot for the fare. That's just how it is!"
Miss Zhao: "..."
These words silenced all the murmurs. The dignified and self-possessed Second Master Wen had actually humbled himself to act as a coachman, personally driving his future wife away?
Miss Zhao was humiliated. Just now, she had served Wen Zhixu tea and dried fruit snacks, but the waiter said that the greedy Xie had eaten them all.
Could it be that Wen Zhixu really has feelings for Lin Xihe? Is she a fool?! What is Wen Zhixu after?!
Lin Xihe looked towards the other end of the Floating Wave Bridge, where children surrounded the candied hawthorn vendor, and the red skewers on the rake were visibly decreasing.
She was in a state of turmoil and hadn't eaten her fill.
"Let's end this verbal sparring as soon as possible," Lin Xihe said to Zhao Lucha, "Oh right, I know exactly where Wen Zhixu is. He's about to go to the outhouse. Are you satisfied now?"
Miss Zhao felt a sudden tightness in her chest: "You... it's fine if you insult me... but you dare to insult the Second Young Master as well!"
Lin Xihe remained silent: I wasn't wrong, even emperors defecate and urinate.
The atmosphere instantly became tense. None of Miss Zhao's servants defended their mistress; everyone just wanted to see these two pampered young ladies tear each other apart on the spot.
Miss Zhao mustered all her strength: "You—"
Lin Xihe sighed, "Oh sister, your makeup is ruined."
"???"
“Well, let me give you a few pointers,” Lin Xihe, who knew a little about makeup in her previous life, blinked her eyelashes and examined Miss Zhao. “Your powder is too thick, your blush is too red, and your double eyelids don’t look natural.”
Miss Zhao stood there, stunned.
Lin Xihe: "Hold on a thread." Ancient people couldn't understand modern language.
Her eyes darted around, recalling Wen Zhixu's bird-like manner of speaking, and she imitated his archaic tone, saying, "Sister, your makeup is heavy, the powder is thick, and your neck and face are discolored. The rouge is so strong, it looks like a monkey's bottom. As for your eyelids..."
She suddenly moved closer to Miss Zhao and exclaimed, "Oh my, your eyeliner is truly exquisite, and your brushwork is so skillful. If Master Xie Yan saw it, he would probably be amazed that this line is even more powerful than his own brushstrokes!"
A few steps away, Xie Qi, the eldest grandson of calligraphy master Xie Yan, was already dumbfounded: "Wen Er, whose daughter is this? She has such a sharp tongue."
Without a moment's hesitation, Wen Zhixu walked straight toward Miss Zhao.
Seeing this, Xie Qi couldn't help but break out in a cold sweat for Lin Xihe. When Wen Zhixu gets angry, he doesn't care whether the other person is male or female. Although he, Xie Qi, can't call himself a gentleman, he still can't stand seeing a young lady being scolded by Wen Er.
"Girl, if you don't run now, when will you? Wen Er's mouth is much sharper than yours... Sigh, good luck to you." Xie Qi's chivalrous nature intensified.
The moment Wen Zhixu stood in front of Miss Zhao, it was like a divine general to the latter.
Miss Zhao's lips trembled violently—she was truly furious with Lin Xihe.
"Second Young Master," she said, tears streaming down her face, looking pleadingly at Wen Zhixu, "Miss Lin just publicly humiliated us."
Wen Zhixu turned around, glancing at Lin Xihe out of the corner of his eye: "You insulted her?"
Unexpectedly, although the Second Young Master Wen rejected her, he was willing to stand up for her. Miss Zhao was moved. She raised her chin, and her affected, pitiful demeanor was replaced by a confident one.
Lin Xihe rolled her eyes halfway before fixing them on Wen Zhixu's sharp profile: "You cursed... didn't you?"
She cursed very politely.
A note from the author:
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The next chapter will be available for purchase (VIP).
My next book is titled "The Imperial Seal Has Abandoned Its Duty".
The female protagonist's soul transmigrates into the Imperial Seal, and the dog emperor fights his way from ancient times to the modern era... a silly romance?
Here's the pre-order synopsis. If you like it, please add it to your collection!
Just as blogger Yunyi stepped out of the stationery exhibition, she bumped into a mad Taoist priest.
The other party spouted nonsense: "Auspicious purple energy is coming from the east, you possess the aura of a dragon, you were born to be an emperor."
Yun Yi: "Me, the second Wu Zetian? Then I'll go to bed early tonight."
Anyway, anything can happen in dreams.
The Taoist priest pulled out a book with yellow talismans: "For just 666 yuan, I can make your dream of becoming an emperor come true."
"Damn, bro." Yun Yi tugged at his Taoist robe with her left hand and pointed to the cultural and creative products scattered all over the ground with her right hand, "Pay up!"
After that, she would dream of a man wearing a dragon robe every time she fell asleep.
The dream was continuous, like an American TV series.
Season 1: The Imperial Study.
Yun Yi remained expressionless and motionless. The dog emperor slapped her on the buttocks, and Yun Yi fell to the ground.
Season 2: The Eastern Empress Dowager and the Western Empress Dowager quarrel, and the Emperor's attempts to reconcile them fail, so he has no choice but to issue an imperial edict.
Yun Yi wiggled her bottom and sat down reluctantly.
She was so tired, covered in sticky mud, and wanted to take a bath…
Season 3: The prime minister's backyard is in turmoil. His wife, concubines, and mistresses team up to beat him up, and the old man claims to be ill and stays at home.
The emperor was furious: "I hereby issue an edict! Execute that old man's entire family!"
Yun Yi rubbed her sore bottom, thinking, "That bloodsucking feudal father!"
Even the most hardworking 996 workers aren't as tired as she is!
Since it was all just a dream, she quit and gave up.
The newly enthroned emperor finished writing the imperial edict but could not find his imperial seal.
His imperial seal has disappeared...?
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Xiao Zhi's lifelong wish was not to become emperor.
The present era is not bad. We don't need thousands of troops to fight wars. There are big birds flying in the sky, dogs with steel bones, and they can even wiggle their butts.
However, the dark-skinned foreigner in front of me spoke a language that was completely foreign.
"I—uh!"
Yun Yi quickly covered his mouth and said to the foreign teacher, "My husband ruined his brain playing an emperor game."
She smoothed Xiao Zhi's long hair and reasoned with him, "The one-on-one IELTS lessons cost me 40,000 yuan. Please, let's study hard, okay?"
Xiao Zhi closed the Heavenly Book: "Abandon, change your studies."
"No way, I'm a learning blogger! If you don't learn, how are we going to earn money?!" Yun Yi calmed him down, appealing to his emotions, "Those three and a half people outside... how are we going to support them?"
Outside the classroom, three pairs of bright, piercing eyes.
A guard addicted to ninjas, a eunuch who's become a bottom, and a palace maid with a bulging belly.
Short timeframe, heavy workload, and we need to make money!
Xiao Zhi: "My tomb is in the XXX direction. Shall we go dig it up tonight? The burial goods are quite rich."
Yun Yi said coldly, "I'll enroll you in another class to learn law."
"I am the law!"
"...If you keep doing this, the mental hospital will come and evict you!"
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The word "嚵獠" in this chapter means "gluttonous ghost." It is quoted from Huang Tingjian's poem "On Xu Juyu" from the Song Dynasty: "It only makes gluttonous ghosts drool."
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