Chapter 311 Doubting Life
As the saying goes, "stealing half a day of leisure from a busy life," Gu Jingxi secluded himself at home for half a month to reflect on his mistakes. During this half month, he did nothing but accompany his wife or the couple to Shou'an Hall to visit his mother. Even when Qi Yunwen had a case to discuss with him, he directly refused to see him, saying that he needed to reflect at home and let the other party figure out the solution himself.
During these two weeks, Gu Jingxi and Meng Jinyao did indeed engage in the refined pursuits they had mentioned earlier: betting on books and spilling tea, brewing tea and discussing poetry, playing the zither and lute in harmony, playing chess, and painting. They lived a carefree life.
Although Meng Jinyao was not favored in her maternal family, the Meng family had been scholars for generations and had a library at home. As a daughter of the Meng family, she could go to the library to read books. She rarely went out and spent her time reading and practicing calligraphy.
She writes elegant and graceful small regular script. Although she can't be considered a talented woman, she has read a lot of books and is quite knowledgeable. When it comes to poetry and songs, she can keep up with the conversation and even exchange poems with Gu Jingxi.
She also knows how to play chess. She practiced on her own when she was still in her boudoir, and her chess skills are quite good.
She was not good at playing the zither or painting. Madam Sun did not hire a female tutor for her, so she was not knowledgeable in music and could only listen to Gu Jingxi play the zither and appreciate it.
She had never received any formal art instruction, but seeing how well Gu Jingxi painted, she suddenly became interested in painting and begged Gu Jingxi to teach her.
How could Gu Jingxi refuse such a small request?
One teaches, the other learns—what a delightful pleasure for a married couple!
But it was precisely because of this that he took on a problem student. He used to believe that "there are no unteachable students, only teachers who don't care. As long as the student studies hard, he can definitely teach them."
Now, because of the person in his arms, his understanding has been overturned. No matter how hard the teacher tries, he can't teach a student who has no talent. His little wife really has no talent and can only make the teacher so angry that he can't speak.
For example, if something doesn't look right in his drawing, his wife will say something that makes him question his life choices: "Husband, are you even capable? How come you can't even teach something so simple?"
This is a case of preferring to believe that he didn't teach well rather than believing that one lacks talent.
Gu Jingxi stared at the creature on the rice paper—a creature that resembled neither mandarin ducks, nor white geese, nor ducks, and even somewhat like a chicken—and fell silent. The painting was simply unbearable to look at, yet it was one of her better paintings.
As a husband, Gu Jingxi didn't want to admit that this was a student he had taught.
Gu Jingxi looked at her painting for a while before deciding to tentatively discuss it with her: "Ayao, how about I teach you to play the piano? It's really boring to be painting all day long. You should develop some hobbies."
Meng Jinyao put down her paintbrush. Although she felt defeated and was about to give up when she looked at her painting, she still wanted to try one more time. Hearing her husband's words, she gave up and reluctantly said, "Alright, playing the zither seems pretty good too."
Gu Jingxi finally breathed a sigh of relief. After glancing at her calligraphy again, risking angering her, he tentatively asked, "Ayao's embroidery skills are quite good. How did you draw those patterns?"
Upon hearing this, Meng Jinyao knew what he meant. She glanced at him with a strange expression and replied, "I can't draw the patterns myself, but don't I have maids? They draw them, and then I use the needle and thread. Isn't that still me embroidering?"
Gu Jingxi: "..."
However, Gu Jingxi didn't expect that just as he emerged from one big pit, he fell into another. He heard that familiar question that made him question his life again: "Husband, are you even capable of teaching?"
Clearly, his wife had no talent for playing the piano; her playing was like a demonic sound that pierced the ears and gave people a headache.
Meng Jinyao studied for a few days. At first, she thought Gu Jingxi was no good. Later, her own piano playing became too noisy for her ears. Gradually, she realized that she was no good at it and had absolutely no talent for playing the piano. After a few days of learning, she became less and less interested and preferred painting.
She looked at her own hands, then at the guqin in front of her. Such a fine instrument was being ruined by her own hands; it was a terrible waste, like a beautiful flower stuck in cow dung.
After a moment of silence, she slowly raised her head and looked at Gu Jingxi sitting opposite her.
Their eyes met, and Meng Jinyao's gaze revealed frustration and resentment, creating a slightly awkward atmosphere.
Gu Jingxi roughly understood her thoughts, and carefully considered his words, very tactfully offering her a way out: "Ayao, learning the piano is hard work. Over time, your fingers will develop calluses. Seeing you practice so hard makes me feel sorry for you. How about we stop learning?"
These words struck a chord with Meng Jinyao, but she still insisted, "One should finish what one starts; it's not good to give up halfway."
Gu Jingxi was very perceptive and continued to try to give her a way out: "This kind of thing is fine between husband and wife. If you want to hear it again in the future, I will play it for you."
Meng Jinyao pretended to ponder for a moment before reluctantly saying, "Alright then, since my husband feels sorry for me studying so hard, I'll stop studying for now. I don't want my husband to feel sorry for me either."
Gu Jingxi immediately changed the subject: "Ayao, let's go for a walk in the yard and relax."
Meng Jinyao didn't want to play the zither anymore, so she immediately agreed to his suggestion and went for a walk with him in the back garden.
After this incident, Gu Jingxi dared not easily try to teach her anything in the future. Otherwise, both the teacher and the student would doubt their existence. Sometimes, it's not enough for the teacher to teach diligently and the student to study diligently to learn well.
The weather was much warmer in February, and the snow had stopped, but there was a lot of rain, with continuous spring rain.
Springtime brings life back to everything, and the back garden is no longer as desolate as it was in winter. Everywhere you look, there is lush greenery, and many spring flowers are already blooming in profusion.
Meng Jinyao walked side by side with him and suddenly said, "Husband, I think scholars work very hard. Take Xiu Hong from my second sister-in-law's family, for example. When he gets home, he locks himself in his study and continues to study hard. Because he is going to participate in this year's imperial examination, he is working even harder. He is practically forgetting to eat and sleep."
Gu Jingxi nodded slightly: "Studying is indeed quite hard. The spring examination has already begun, and the provincial examination will end tomorrow. If there are no unexpected events, Xiu Hong should be able to get a ranking."
Meng Jinyao continued, "But I see that you are proficient in all kinds of arts, including music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, and prose. You also know about astronomy and geography. You used to have to study hard to take the imperial examinations. How did you have time to learn so many things?"
Gu Jingxi smiled and said, "Studying all day is boring. When I was young, I wasn't as mature as I am now. I would secretly run away from my parents to drink, hunt, and race horses with Mo Bai and the others. I couldn't stand such a boring life. When I was locked up at home, I would find something else to do to distract myself. I would spend half my time studying and the other half doing other things."
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