Those older generations who have lived long enough have all told of this: when a person is about to die, the soul will briefly look back on its life before leaving the body.
Xiao Nanhui never believed it.
I didn’t believe it when I was a child, and I still don’t believe it when I grow up.
She felt that human life was very long, how could it be over in just a moment?
She thought that the roads she had walked, the rivers she had crossed, and the wild bushes she had passed were all arranged there like a line, and it would take the same amount of time to walk through them again.
But she never thought that those scenes would be stacked up layer by layer like the spring rolls on Dujuan's stall.
And to penetrate these layers of cake, all you need is a hole.
A bottomless hole leading into the past.
She felt as if she was falling into darkness, as if she had fallen into a bottomless dry well, a ninety-nine-story ancient tower, or a sky without land.
Gradually, the surrounding scenery became clear.
She saw herself, at the age of three or four, walking across the Gobi Desert covered with yellow sand, with the gradually disappearing outline of the ancient city of Suyan behind her, the scorching sun as big as a plate above her head, and the hot and cracked earth under her feet.
She had walked a long way, her potato chips gone and her water bag empty. The blinding sun shone brightly above her head, and she saw flocks of vultures circling around her. Then, she heard the sound of horse hooves and saw a mounted general appear at the end of the sky.
Half of the general's face was hidden by his armor, but a pair of young and gentle eyes were revealed. She held his hand tightly and refused to let go until he picked her up from the ground and placed her on the high back of the horse.
Later, she saw her six-year-old self timidly following Xiao Jun into the Marquis' Mansion. Chen Si stood in front of the tall gate and nodded at her with a smile. Du Juan still had her hair in a girl's double bun. She turned sideways, revealing a table full of hot food behind her.
She stuffed the food into her mouth ravenously, looked up and saw Du Juan reaching out her hand. Thinking that she was going to scold her, she quickly stuffed another big mouthful. But Du Juan just wiped the corner of her mouth and put a porcelain spoon in her hand.
Later, she saw Xiao Zhun leading a "wild boy" with a round face and broad eyebrows to her house. As soon as the boy spoke, she realized he was a girl. As soon as Xiao Zhun left, the girl, who looked like a doll in a New Year's painting, suddenly changed her attitude and snatched away her fruit bowl and food. The next day, she used a grape as bait and caught her under a winnowing basket. The two of them rolled on the ground, punching and kicking each other.
As her gaze shifted, she had grown taller, while the girl with thick eyebrows remained the same height. The two of them, disguised as men, arrived at a building bathed in the warmth of lights and the aroma of wine, each embracing a beautiful woman and the other seducing a handsome man, a scene of unbridled joy. From the back window, she saw several eunuchs beating a servant in the backyard, so she jumped down and beat them up. The servant raised his head, revealing a pair of cunning little eyes, his first month's salary clutched tightly in his arms.
She saw her first battle, Pingxian chopping off half a bandit's head. Blood splattered her face, blinding her. The spear in her hand was so slippery she could barely hold it, so she wiped it carelessly on her horse's rump. Her dappled mount, mistaking her for a "fleeing order," broke into a gallop, not stopping until it was ten miles from the battlefield.
She saw herself transform from a flustered recruit who always needed protection from others to a calm and decisive natural warrior.
She saw herself go from being alone to having a partner and a family.
She was looking at her past self, and her past self was always looking at Xiao Zhun.
She has been growing up, and he has remained the same as when they first met, ten years later.
She saw herself running and chasing after him day after day, hoping that time would wait for her so that she could catch up with him.
She saw herself waiting and hoping under the corridor of the mansion night after night, hoping that time would pass quickly so that she could see him returning home as soon as she opened her eyes.
She saw that she shared his sorrow and hatred for his. While thinking about how to make achievements, she was secretly collecting clues about the Xiao family's extermination without telling anyone.
She saw herself on her twentieth birthday, walking through a sea of golden camellia flowers in full bloom, heading towards the main hall of Yongye Temple.
No, don't go over there.
Don't ask for that lot.
If you don't ask for that lot, how can those terrible things come true?
But the more she struggled, the deeper she sank.
She wanted to rush over to stop it, but in the end she was getting farther and farther away from the figure.
In the darkness, it seemed as if there were hands grabbing her tightly, holding her, and dragging her into the darkness.
"Xiao Nanhui, wake up. How long are you going to sleep?"
Who is it? Is it Dujuan?
If she opened her eyes now, she would see Dujuan's angry face and furrowed eyebrows.
She should cover her head with the quilt and pretend to be still asleep. Dujuan would open the small window in the room and say that the weather was very good today, and then rudely lift up her quilt.
She should tell her that she had a nightmare, in which terrible things happened and everyone left her, and Dujuan would soften her heart, pat her on the back and whisper to her.
She must have been in a hurry to get dressed and put on the wrong shoes and socks. She thought her lazy maid had done something wrong and ran out of the house, bumping into the old housekeeper who was serving spicy noodles.
The sun should still be rising, and she should still have a lot of time...
But why? Why did she know that everything that was supposed to happen naturally would not happen?
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