After that day, my mother fell ill.

Dou Zhao was very worried and accompanied his mother every day.

Her mother touched her head and smiled: "Mom is fine, she will be fine soon. Go and have fun by yourself!" But her face became paler day by day.

Her father came to see her.

The mother took the initiative to hold the father's hand.

My father's fingers are long, white, with distinct joints, and as straight as bamboo shoots.

"I like the way you smile the most." Mother put her father's hand on her face. "Every time you look at me and smile, I wonder how someone can smile so happily and carefreely? It's like the sunshine in spring, which warms people's hearts."

"The doctor said your pulse is normal. You should rest well and you will be well soon." Father's eyes were red. "When you are well, I will smile to you every day."

"Silly boy!" His mother smiled, looking at him as if he were a naughty child, with a hint of pampering, "When two people are together, they laugh because they are happy. If you are not happy, you will naturally not be able to laugh. Don't force yourself."

The father was stunned.

My mother smiled and said, "I just want you to come and apologize to me, saying that I am not doing well after you left me."

My father was stunned, then smiled awkwardly: "I am not used to you ignoring me."

"You're just not used to me not being around you!" Mother teased her father with a smile, her eyes were very tolerant and peaceful, but her voice gradually became lower. "I thought you would only laugh so happily when I was around you. It turns out that other people can make you laugh as happily as I do..."

My father didn't hear clearly what my mother said. He leaned over the head of my mother's bed and asked her gently, "What did you say?"

"Nothing!" Mother smiled, "Just a little tired!"

"Then you should talk less." The father held the mother's hand, "I will stay here with you and wait until you fall asleep before leaving."

Mother nodded, closed her eyes, and soon fell asleep.

Dou Zhao, who was eavesdropping from the corner, ran out and smashed the small sandbag on the heated kang to the ground.

What is this?

Make peace?

The thought flashed through my mind, and I suddenly felt disappointed.

So what if it's not good?

She's still missing a younger brother!

But why did she feel a tightness in her chest, as if a pair of hands were gripping her heart?

Dou Zhao sat on the kang in a daze.

My father came out of the inner room and saw Dou Zhao. He paused, turned around and sat next to her: "Shou Gu, everyone praises you for your intelligence and says that you can speak long sentences in one breath now. Can you tell me a sentence?"

Dou Zhao glanced at his father and lowered his head to play with the sandbag in his hand.

The father smiled cheerfully and said, "This sandbag is very well made. Who helped you make it?"

Dou Zhao still ignored him.

The father did not take it as an offense, he laughed and hugged Dou Zhao: "Come on, Daddy will tell you to write!"

"I don't like writing." Dou Zhao said rebelliously, "I want to go swing!"

"Okay!" said the father with a smile, "Let's go swing."

The back garden is still full of vegetation.

Dou Zhao and his father swung on the swing for a while, and their mood gradually improved.

Maybe my mother was right.

Taking the initiative to lower your head and lock your father up in your own room... is better than continuing the cold war like this, with no way out.

She began to like her father better.

"Daddy, swing higher!"

"good!"

Her father swung her into the air.

She ran like the wind, and every blade of grass and tree in the Dou residence was enlarged and shrunk under her feet. She saw someone washing clothes by the well in the side yard, saw Aunt Ding standing under the eaves scolding the little maid, and saw that her mother's yard was quiet and empty... It was as if she was seeing everything around her. That feeling was very wonderful and interesting.

Dou Zhao's laughter was like pearls falling on a jade plate, clear and pleasant to the ears.

My father also raised his eyebrows and smiled.

Only Tuoniang jumped out stupidly and stood in front of Dou Shiying: "Seventh Master, it's too high, the fourth lady will fall down, please put her down quickly!"

Dou Shiying recognized Tuoniang and said with a smile, "I didn't expect you to be so loyal!" Instead of scolding her, he walked around her and pushed Dou Zhao, who was sitting on the swing, out again.

Tuo Niang was so anxious that she was sweating profusely.

Dou Shao enjoyed Tuoniang's care and smiled happily.

She saw Nanny Yu hurriedly running out of her mother's room, standing on the steps of the eaves and shouting. The maids and wives who had disappeared originally rushed over like a tide and fled in all directions, and the scene seemed a little chaotic.

What happened?

When the swing started swinging again, Dou Zhao stretched his neck and looked towards the main courtyard.

The maids were still in disarray, but Nanny Yu had disappeared.

Dou Zhao was puzzled and told his father: "Stop, stop."

The father pulled her towards the swing and said with a smile, "It turns out that our Shougu is a coward."

Dou Zhao did not argue with him. As soon as he landed on the ground, Nanny Yu ran over with a pale face and panting.

"Seventh Master," she said with tears in her eyes, looking like she was about to burst into tears, "Seventh Grandma, Seventh Grandma... hanged herself!"

"What did you say?" The father's eyes widened, and his smile froze on his face. "Who are you talking about? Who hanged himself?"

“Seventh Grandma, Seventh Grandma…” Nanny Yu cried, her legs went limp, and she knelt on the ground, “Seventh Grandma hanged herself…”

Dou Shiying looked around in confusion.

Seeing his daughter standing beside him motionless as if frozen in place, he finally began to feel a little more real.

"How could it be... I was fine just now..." he murmured, and his tall body suddenly became a few inches shorter. His face was pale, his lips turned pale, and he kept shaking.

Dou Zhao had already lost the ability to speak, and his mind was filled with a constant rumbling sound as if thousands of horses were galloping.

Why did my mother have to die?

Didn’t Wang Yingxue become a concubine?

Even if she gave birth to a son, he would be a concubine's eldest son...

Why did my mother have to die?

So what's the point of her coming back?

Dou Zhao pursed his lips stubbornly and clenched his small hands into fists.

The spring sunshine was gentle and warm, shining quietly on the two clay-like figures, one big and one small. Only the swing was still swinging, attracting several colorful butterflies to dance around it, competing with each other for beauty.

※※※※※

Dou Zhao, wearing a coarse linen mourning robe, knelt before the coffin with a dull expression, and kowtowed woodenly in response to the singing and shouting.

My mother committed suicide by hanging herself, so she can't be considered to have a long and blessed life. And since there are elders around, we can only hold funeral ceremonies for 35 days at most.

There was no one in charge of the family, so my grandfather asked my third uncle and aunt to help with my mother's funeral. He even gave my mother the nanmu coffin he had prepared for himself.

People who came to pay their respects would burn incense and inevitably ask about the cause of death.

The Dou family members all claimed that he died of a sudden illness. Everyone who heard this cried: "…He was not even 20 years old!"

Dou Zhao's eyes started to turn red.

Yes, how could she forget that even though her mother was her mother, she was not yet twenty years old!

How can we expect our 20-year-old mother to understand something that she only understood when she was 30?

Some wounds are buried deep in the heart. Even if they are covered in blood and flesh, no trace can be seen on the surface.

Mother, you have never been truly relieved, and you have never been truly relieved, right?

Dou Zhao looked across.

The father, dressed in white, had a pale face, sunken eyes, and looked very haggard.

He was kneeling in front of the mourning basin, burning paper money for his mother one by one, with a serious and pious expression, as if he was holding a piece of talisman in his hand.

Wang Yingxue, with red eyes, came over. She knelt beside her father, silently picked up a stack of paper money from the side, tore it open one by one, and threw it into the mourning basin with her father.

"Seventh Master!" Her voice was hoarse and choked with sobs. "You have been kneeling here for a day and a night. If you continue like this, your body will collapse... I am counting on you to take care of my sister's funeral!"

The father said nothing, gently took the paper money from Wang Yingxue's hand, and continued to burn the paper money.

A trace of embarrassment flashed across Wang Yingxue's face. She knelt there for a long time, but her father didn't even look at her. Her eyes dimmed and she quietly retreated.

Uncle Six came over and took my father's arm: "Wanyuan, don't be like this. The dead are gone, and the living should take better care of themselves."

My father refused to get up.

In front of his good friend and cousin, he cried softly: "Gu Qiu and I agreed to have five boys and three girls... Now she is gone, but there is not even anyone to mourn her... Just let me burn a few more pieces of paper money for her... I feel really sad..."

Uncle Six stamped his feet, tears welling in his eyes: "Even if you are sad, now is not the right time!" He said, his voice getting deeper, "Rui Fu is back! He did not participate in the selection of Shujishi..."

Dou Zhao raised his head.

Ruifu is the courtesy name of her uncle Zhao Si.

"According to the time, he should be here soon." Sixth uncle said bitterly, "Have you thought about what to say when you meet Ruifu later? Third brother and the others are in uncle's study. We need to discuss this matter in advance..."

"Explanation? What explanation?" the father murmured, his mind obviously still wandering in Taixu, "It's all my fault... That time when Nanny Yu said she was going to hang herself, I thought she was trying to get me... It turns out she was really heartbroken and disappointed with me... But I knew nothing about it, and I was complacently thinking I had won... She said she was waiting for me to apologize to her, and that she wanted me to admit that she was not living well after I left..." He fell in front of his wife's spirit and burst into tears, "I didn't know it would be like this, I really didn't know it would be like this... I promised my uncle that I would take good care of Gu Qiu and treat Gu Qiu well for the rest of my life... I didn't keep my promise... She said I was dirty... She was absolutely right..."

"Ten thousand yuan, ten thousand yuan!" The sixth uncle wiped the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand and pulled his father up vigorously. "We'll talk about this later. The most urgent thing now is to give Ruifu an explanation. You can't act on impulse."

The father shook his head, feeling hopeless and said, "I am sorry to Gu Qiu. After I finish the funeral, he can do whatever he wants to me!"

The sixth uncle was furious. He called two servants in and carried my father to Heshou Hall.

Dou Zhao ran out.

Wang Yingxue was standing under the magnolia tree outside the mourning hall, staring in a daze at the receding backs of her father and sixth uncle.

Dou Zhao called her, "Auntie Wang!"

Wang Yingxue turned around, glanced at the maid outside the mourning hall, and walked over with a polite smile: "Shou Gu, what's the matter?" Her tone was gentle.

"You wanted to have a son, didn't you?" Dou Zhao raised his head, staring into her eyes with his dark eyes, and said in a voice that only the two of them could hear, "However, it's a pity that you gave birth to a daughter this time! After you finish mourning, when the new mistress comes home, I wonder if she will be as easy to talk to as my mother?"

"You..." Wang Yingxue was horrified and stepped back in fear, looking at her as if she saw a monster.

Dou Zhao was very satisfied.

He curled his lips coldly and walked past her as quietly as a pine tree.