Chapter 51: I'm too old. The bloody taste melts between my lips and teeth, and the river surges...
The smell of blood spread between lips and teeth, and the feeling of river water rushing into mouth and nose seemed as if it were yesterday.
When Yunyang was six years old, she wanted to stay cool in the summer, so she ran to the nearby river to play in the water. As she played, she moved farther and farther away from the shore. By the time she realized something was wrong, she had choked on the water several times and her feet could not even reach the riverbed.
The air was filled with mist, and she bit down hard on that handsome, fair face and his hand around her waist in fear...
Yun Yang always thought that it was a god who saved him, because when he was conscious, he was already on the shore, and there was no one around him.
She lay on the river bank, sobbing weakly for a few times, then lay down again. She didn't know how long she lay there, but no one came to look for her. She looked around and saw that no one saw her, so she went home dejectedly.
As a child at the time, Yun Yang was afraid that his parents would find out and punish him, so he did not tell anyone about it.
But she has never forgotten the blurry yet clear eyebrows and the smell of blood in the mouth.
Seeing that the woman looked dazed, Lu Jie wanted to take the Yueqin back, but her hands were tightly gripping the neck of the guitar.
He cast a questioning look at her, "Miss Yun..."
Yun Yang's face turned pale. She struggled to remove her gaze from his palm and looked at him. "Master Lu, have you ever been to Youzhou?"
Lu Jie frowned, "...I've been there."
"Really? Then you, then you..." Yun Yang's mind was full of thoughts, and he didn't know how to start.
Seeing that earnest gaze, Lu Jie's dark eyes seemed to be suddenly covered with mist, surging with unspeakable emotions. He stared at her in a daze for a moment, his heart inexplicably in turmoil.
He only heard her voice tremble slightly, "Did you save a little girl from the Que River outside Youzhou City? Did you, was it because you saved this little girl that you were separated from your family?"
Lu Jie nodded blankly.
It was a hot summer day that year. He walked with his mother to the pavilion outside Youzhou City. While changing food and fodder, he went to the river and scooped up a handful of water to wash his face. The silver water was like silk, and in the middle of the silk, he could vaguely see a small face floating up and down, and the face was flushed red.
Lu Jie had been taught by great scholars since childhood, so when he saw someone in trouble, how could he not help them? Moreover, he could swim.
Without hesitation, he jumped into the river and pulled the little girl to the shore. However, the little girl seemed to be very frightened and bit his hand.
Lu Jie thought that it was almost time for his carriage to replace the food and fodder, so after confirming that the little girl was fine, he left in a hurry.
When his mother found out he was missing, she panicked and left the inn to look for him, thus missing him forever.
It has been twelve years since we last met.
In his dreams at midnight, when he was naked in the cold winter, when he had to eat coarse food and had stomach cramps, when he was bullied by bad neighbors and slandered by petty officials, he often felt that that scorching afternoon was just a dream. He never had an elegant father and a beautiful mother, no life of luxury, and no little girl drowning in the silky river.
But new granulation tissue grew in the gap at the base of his thumb, which was itchy and swollen, reminding him that everything was real.
Everything happened unexpectedly. The sound of music could be heard. The stage had been set up. The incense tower on the long table turned to ashes. A faint light flickered in its core and gradually dimmed.
Lu Jie looked at Yun Yang in a daze, and suddenly he realized something.
It turned out that he really saved a girl that summer.
It turned out that his twelve years of separation were not in vain.
"It's you," he said.
Yun Yang frowned, with a burning light in her eyes, and subconsciously held his hand, "It's me... Immortal Brother."
She always thought he was a god.
Just like what was sung in the opera, a passing immortal saved the woman who fell into the water, accumulated merits, and returned to the heaven.
But... she is not his blessing at all, she is simply his disaster.
If it weren't for saving her, he wouldn't have been separated from his family and wouldn't have ended up in poverty.
I don’t know how I got through these past ten years, how I ended up in Shangjing, became a Jinshi, and found the life I was supposed to have in the Golden Palace.
His fingers were rough, he was serious, and his clothes were all frayed. He had a cleanliness, seriousness, humility and diligence that were not possessed by the noble young men Yun Yang had met.
She wanted to repay him, but felt helpless because of the changes in the world.
Yunyang felt like crying.
"Lord Lu, I..." She choked up, "After all these years, I, I always remember that you saved me. I didn't realize that saving me caused you to be separated from your blood relatives. I'm sorry, it's me who has let you down."
Lu Jie had wondered countless times whether that little girl really existed, but when he actually saw the little girl with double buns and a flushed face in his memory transformed into her current youthful and bright appearance over thousands of years, the shock that surged in his heart was extraordinary and indescribable.
She survived and was no longer a fragile child.
When she grew up, she was still graceful and beautiful, with a kind of beauty that made people happy, and she was in no way inferior to any woman he had ever seen.
Lu Jie's fingers were wrapped in her warm and tender palm.
She tilted her head, rested her chin on his palm, closed her eyes slightly, and pressed her hand against the scar on his palm.
A surging tingling sensation ran from his fingers to his spine. Lu Jie frowned, his expression solemn, trying his best to sort out his chaotic thoughts.
"I'm sorry." Yun Yang sniffed and said with tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry, Master Lu."
What's the use of saying sorry so many times? She shouldn't have concealed the matter for fear of being punished by her parents. If she had told her parents, they would have taken her to find her benefactor. Perhaps he would not be left without support, and would not have been separated from his loved ones for so many years, and he would not have fallen into the quagmire and struggled to survive.
Regret and shame turned into endless tears, and she murmured helplessly: "You shouldn't have saved me..."
Lu Jie looked at her round head, enduring the tingling sensation in his palms. He spoke calmly, "If you see someone drowning, how can you not save them? Over the years, I have never regretted saving you."
She let go of his hand, raised her tear-filled eyes, looked at him helplessly, and squeezed out two unsteady words from her throat, "Really?"
Lu Jie said, "Really. Just like when the young lady covered up the damage to my zither strings just now."
Yun Yang looked at his calm gaze and felt even more ashamed. She said, "But you're not an actor. I misunderstood... And saving someone's life is different from covering up for them."
The young man had a tall and straight figure, as strong as a pine tree or a bamboo, just as she had imagined many times.
All the beautiful qualities described in poems and essays seem to appear in him.
He is a man in the clouds, a flower blooming in the mud, and the person she feels most sorry for in her life.
Lu Jie took in all her anxiety, frustration and regret, and the regret that had been pent up in his heart for twelve years suddenly became clear. He saved her, and she was alive and well, so his years of displacement were worth it.
But for some reason, he was not as rational and calm as he thought. Just like now, he didn't want to make her cry anymore. He wanted to reach out and wipe away the tears on her face and make her smile again.
Her name was Yunyang. The Xue family was a prestigious family with a history of hundreds of years and they were also a group of upright civil officials. She was the sister-in-law of Xue Yu and it was obvious that she had been brought up in a pampered environment. There was no trace of the hardship brought by the years between her eyebrows.
That's good.
After a while, he took out the handkerchief from his sleeve and handed it to her. "I don't regret saving you, nor do I blame you. Saving people is the moral obligation and bottom line that I should uphold as a human being and as taught by others."
She was still crying, crying silently, shedding tears silently, which made people's hearts writhe.
In fact, if anyone should cry, he should be the one crying the most, but she just keeps crying.
Lu Jie smiled. As he spoke, his Adam's apple rolled slightly, and the dim light outlined a cold and delicate curve. "Don't cry, I saved you because I wanted you to live well and have a good life. You did it, and that's good."
A figure moved over the tent, getting smaller and clearer as it got closer. Yun Yang took a look and saw that it was his brother-in-law Xue Yu, wearing a snow-white robe and a green jade crown to tie his hair.
"Brother-in-law?" Yun Yang raised her tearful eyes.
Following Yun Yang's gaze, Lu Jie saw a young man wearing a light fur coat and a loose belt, with an elegant demeanor. At first glance, he thought he was a young man from a noble family.
But Yun Yang called him brother-in-law, and he turned out to be Xue Yu, the head of the Xue family, the prince's tutor who came to the capital in an elegant manner.
Lu Jie watched as Xue Yu's expression turned cold after he saw Yun Yang's tears.
"Lord Lu, what do you mean?" Xue Yu walked straight to Yun Yang and protected her behind him, his face cold. "Lord Lu, are you bullying my sister-in-law?"
Yun Yang tugged at Xue Yu's sleeve and said, "No, no, brother-in-law, you misunderstood."
"Miss Yun and I were both in Youzhou. We were old acquaintances. I can't help but feel sad when I talk about the past." Lu Jie said lightly.
Yun Yang looked up at him and saw his eyes twitch slightly, knowing that he didn't want their past to be known to others. She immediately agreed with him and said, "Yes, brother-in-law, Lord Lu and I met in Youzhou. When he mentioned my parents, I felt a little sad."
Yun Yang's eyes were soft and shimmering as she looked at him pitifully. Xue Yu sighed and soothed him, "So that's how it is. I thought... Don't cry. My father-in-law has passed away, and my mother-in-law is still being searched for. It's not like she's truly lost."
Yun Yang nodded, forgetting to let go of Xue Yu's sleeve, and said to Lu Jie: "Master Lu, it's getting late, so my brother-in-law and I will leave first."
Xue Yu nodded and let Yunyang hold his hand, his eyes lightly passing over the young Hanlin.
The flower drums in front of the stage were beating loudly, and the actors and actresses were dressed up. Yun Yang followed Xue Yu through the stage, feeling as if he was in a trance of past and present lives.
Yun Yang was still immersed in the emotion of reuniting with Lu Jie. The faint red at the corners of her eyes had not faded, and she looked dazed. She didn't even notice Xue Yu was staring at her.
"Lu Jie is the newly promoted third place scholar. He's an upright man and quite favored by the emperor," Xue Yu said. "I know a little about his background. How is he related to Yang Yang?"
"We're not related, just old acquaintances," Yun Yang said perfunctorily, changing the subject. "Hey, brother-in-law, why are you here? Are you here to see the Fourth Madam as well?"
"Yun Yang." Xue Yu stopped walking. "You're just trying to fool me. You don't seem to want to talk to me anymore?"
"No, I, I just have something on my mind, I'm thinking about something." Yun Yang thought to himself, it's true that I'm thinking about something, but I can't tell you about it.
Lu Jie didn't allow it to be said, so there must be a reason for that.
The friendship between them was so deep because Lu Jie had saved her life when she was a child. He immediately became the most trustworthy person in Yun Yang's heart.
"How much does my brother-in-law know about little Lu Tanhua? Has he found his blood relative now? Is he the nephew of the fourth lady? Then he is from the family of Lord Lu, the Minister of the Honglu Temple in the south of the city?" In order to prevent Xue Yu from feeling that he was being perfunctory, Yun Yang simply asked for clarification.
Xue Yu smiled faintly, stared at her quietly, and did not answer.
"Brother-in-law, say something." Yun Yang said.
"Lu Jie is only a third place winner in the imperial examination. Your brother-in-law, I, was a top three scorer in the imperial examination. You are so interested in him, it must not be because of his official position or talent. Why is that? Because I am not as young or handsome as him? Yes, I am eight years older than Yangyang. I noticed fine lines at the corners of my eyes when I woke up this morning..."
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