Chapter Twenty-Three
-Xiao Lan-
Xia Youjie, a master curse master, is dead.
She was killed by Teacher Wu.
That's how it appears on the surface.
...On the surface.
"...Why did we save him?!" Deng Xiqi clutched her head in frustration, while Xia Youjie stood beside her, arms crossed and a look of disdain on his face.
Incidentally, Xia Youjie is currently in a spirit state.
The Hyakki Yagyō (Night Parade of One Hundred Demons) in Shinjuku and Kyoto ended without a trace due to the forceful suppression of a group of sorcerers—actually, I think it was mainly thanks to Teacher Go. Meanwhile, the initiators of the Hyakki Yagyō, Natsuyuki and Yuta, fought fiercely at the Sorcery Academy, both severely injured. Struggling to teleport to the nearest alley, they were completely powerless to resist and were ultimately killed by Teacher Go, who had been waiting there.
One blow kills.
To be honest, discovering Xia Youjie's soul was an accident. Where I'm from, the soul automatically returns to the underworld after death. I'm not very clear about the situation here, but I guess it's similar to what we have.
The Night Parade of One Hundred Demons finally ended, but because of Panda's indiscriminate punch, my clothes are now completely unwearable.
...Perhaps it could be worn after washing, but I personally can't accept it.
“That’s perfect,” Shaohan said. “I’ve long been tired of complaining about your old-fashioned clothes. Anyway, we still have some money, let’s go buy some new clothes.”
"Hey!" I suddenly had an idea, "Let's call Old Deng and rip her off!"
Shaohan raised an eyebrow and immediately agreed with me: "Great idea!" She started typing rapidly and sent a message to Deng Xiqi: "Then I want to buy new clothes too."
I started giving Shaohan advice: "Don't tell her we're going shopping for clothes with her money, she definitely won't agree. Send her a message like this: 'We're all...'"
It's been so long since we officially met—not counting our accidental encounter at the Night Parade of One Hundred Demons—why don't we go out and have some fun, explore this beautiful world?
In the alleyway with trigonometric functions written on it—she still hadn't erased the messy arithmetic formulas she'd scribbled on the wall. Deng Xiqi angrily poked at her phone: "Look at this yourselves! Look at this yourselves! What did you tell me? 'Come out and have fun, explore this beautiful world.' I was deeply attracted by the sincerity in your words, but after coming out, I found out that all those sweet words were just to make me go shopping with you two? And you're even planning to spend my money on clothes?"
I blinked: "Isn't it fun?"
Shaohan and I chimed in, "How interesting!"
"No, no, no, it's meaningless, completely meaningless! You two should think about it carefully. If I had money, would I be living in an abandoned warehouse in an alley?"
"...I thought you just didn't want to reveal where you lived, so you casually tied Yi Gu to the abandoned warehouse." Shao Han was shocked. "So you lived there?"
"Okay, stop talking." Deng Xiqi covered her face. "I'm breaking down."
Overcome with her guard, Deng Xiqi decided to give us a serious introduction to just how wonderful her home is.
"Look!" She dragged us to her dilapidated warehouse. "This place provides shade in summer and shelter from the wind in winter. The cracks in the corner collect rainwater on rainy days—a gift of the spirit of heaven and earth!" Deng Xiqi squatted down and poked at the nearly moldy wood at the base of the wall, her face solemn. "And this pile of scrap wood—don't let its ordinary appearance fool you. At night, it makes an excellent campfire, enough to ward off any lurking shadows—"
Me: "...A spy in the shadows?"
Angela: "She's a thief. A thief is a thief, why make it sound so noble... But I guess the reason thieves don't come is because they're all richer than her."
Deng Xiqi straightened up instantly, looking like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. "No, no, no, what do thieves know? My place is full of rare and precious treasures! These ordinary people have no idea how powerful my various items are!"
"Okay, okay," I nodded perfunctorily. "What's in that cardboard box in the corner? Instant noodles on sale at the supermarket and compressed biscuits that are about to expire?"
"That's my 'super food supply box'!" Deng Xiqi hugged the box and hid it behind her back, her ears turning red. "As long as I finish the food inside, I'll be invincible!"
"Oh." Shaohan rummaged through the various things inside. "I wanted to say this last time, Stool, I suggest you finish the things in here quickly, because they seem to be about to expire."
"Oh, in that case, everything we need to buy today is decided!" I counted on my fingers. "I need to buy some fresh vegetables for the stool, and some rice balls that keep well. I also need to buy a new dress, and for Shaohan..."
"You probably don't have anything you want to buy, right?"
"If we have enough money, we'll buy it." Shaohan shrugged. "If we don't, then forget it."
I made the final decision: "Then we won't buy it."
"Wait, wait, wait!" Deng Xiqi began shaking her head frantically. "Let me make this clear beforehand, I don't have a single penny!"
"Alright, alright, I know you're severely short on funds." Shaohan casually placed her hand on the chair's shoulder. "This purchase should be paid for by Xiao Lan, right?"
I rolled my eyes: "Let me make it clear beforehand that I can't afford to buy expensive vegetables. And with fruits and such being so expensive here, forget about it."
"Really?" Deng Xiqi's eyes widened in disbelief. "You're going to pay for me, Xiao Lan? You're so kind—"
"OK, OK, fine, fine." I tried hard to break free from Deng Xiqi's bear hug... but I couldn't. To prevent the tragedy of being held here by Deng Xiqi all day and unable to do anything else, I had no choice but to look to Shao Han for help. I should have guessed! That Yu Shao Han! She didn't offer to help at all! She was happily eating compressed biscuits—wait, didn't you say her compressed biscuits were about to expire? Why are you still eating them—standing to the side, arms crossed, watching the show.
There was no other way; relying on others was less reliable than relying on myself. I could only pat Deng Xiqi's arm reassuringly, signaling her to let go of me: "Dengzi, I have to tell you something seriously. If you don't let go of me and we don't leave, both the shopping mall and the supermarket will close down."
Deng Xiqi: "..."
She gave an awkward laugh: "Okay, okay, let's go now. Hurry up, hurry up!"
Shaohan and I simultaneously bared our shark teeth: "...What's the rush! You were the one who was dawdling the most just now!"
Finally, after some playful bickering, we left Deng Xiqi's house (the abandoned warehouse, cross that). Yu Shaohan volunteered, saying that she, a super directionally challenged person, had evolved into a weak, directionally challenged one, and could lead us back the way we came through the alley. Being with my good friend, I was in a good mood and didn't want to spoil her fun. Thinking that Dengzi and I were already here, how far could we possibly get lost? So, I readily agreed to Shaohan's offer to lead the way.
...Of course, I have already paid a heavy price for this hasty decision. If I could have foreseen the future...I swear—I would never have believed a single word Shaohan uttered regarding guiding me!
"Don't you think this place looks familiar?" After passing by the dilapidated wall with a pig's head drawn in colored crayons for the fifth time, I finally couldn't hold back anymore. "Don't you think we've passed this place several times already?"
"How would I know!" Yu Shaohan blatantly shifted the blame. "Don't you think all these alleys look the same? This isn't my problem at all!"
"You can't even turn back the way you came? How bad is your sense of direction? Don't just take your phone and navigate eastwards and then, despite the navigation robot's 'route error' warning, head west without looking back!"
"Only an old ghost would do that! If I had GPS, I certainly wouldn't wander off blindly; I would obediently follow the GPS!"
"Huh?! Do you think I'll still believe you after being fooled so many times?"
"Did I ask you to believe me? Get out of here! Believe it or not, it's up to you!"
"Stool!" Yu Shaohan and I were arguing, each of us insisting we were right, and neither could win. Finally, almost losing our tempers, we both asked Deng Xiqi, the judge, to be our witness, "Tell me, who's right and who's wrong!" / "Tell me, isn't it her fault?"
The upright official remained silent.
"Stool! Speak up! Whose side are you on!"
The upright official remained silent.
Yu Shaohan and I frowned at the same time and briefly reached a consensus—let's put aside the question of whether Yu Shaohan would get lost on her own with the navigation in hand, and first unite against this dog who doesn't answer her questions!
"Why aren't you answering when I call you?" I noticed that the stool was staring blankly at one spot, so I leaned over and squinted to follow Gou Dan's gaze. "What are you looking at? Is there something there?"
"There's nothing there." Shaohan put her arm around the chair's shoulder and asked suspiciously, "Could it be that you just don't want to talk to us?"
"It shouldn't be, right? Dengzi isn't that kind of person." I picked up on Shaohan's words very naturally. "But something's a bit strange—on the surface there's nothing there, but I inexplicably smell a disgusting odor, like a rag that's been used to wipe vomit... Xia Youjie?"
Angela: "Holy crap, the Monkey King? The Monkey King is here?"
Deng Xiqi: "No, no, no, how did you know?"
Shao Han understood everything from Deng Xiqi's behavior. "Oh." Her eyebrows suddenly rose high, a smile on her face. "It seems the Monkey King really is here."
"You still haven't told me how you knew Xia Youjie was here." Deng Xiqi looked at me, then at Xia Youjie, her tone full of disbelief. "Isn't he dead? Is he a ghost? You shouldn't be able to see him without my help, right?"
“It has nothing to do with whether you can see it or not,” I said. “Xia Youjie has a disgusting smell about him, can’t you smell it?”
Deng Xiqi: "...But he's in soul form right now."
Shaohan was quite accepting: "Oh, then it seems to have been marinated well."
"But I have to say, your sense of smell is really off the charts. You spent money on in-game purchases, didn't you? You definitely spent money! When are we going to ban players who spend money on in-game purchases from participating?!"
—From Shaohan, who is completely obsessed with playing games.
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