Chapter 135 Because of Differences, There's a Strangeness "In the next life, it'll be your turn to compete..."
"I'll come see you during the National Day holiday." Li Leshan came out of the library, his bag still slung over his shoulder, and texted Jiang Yueming with his head down.
Sister Qiuxin said she could manage and that he could go wherever he wanted, even if it was just to go home for a visit. The National Day holiday was seven days long. It's normal for college students to be homesick when they first arrive; she'd seen several young men cry their eyes out when they first came here. Someone as calm as Li Leshan was quite rare.
Do you miss home? Li Leshan didn't think much about it; he just missed Jiang Yueming.
Jiang Yueming didn't reply as quickly as he expected; quite a while passed. Perhaps she was indeed busy over there. But even in university, is she still that busy?
"Leshan, just came out of the library?" Xue Ang called out when he saw him from afar.
Li Leshan glanced at him and nodded.
"Want to go out for dinner together?" he continued.
Li Leshan was a little confused, because according to their facing directions, Xue Ang should be going to the library. They were going in completely different directions, so how could they be going the same way?
“Let’s go. I haven’t seen you since I woke up at nine in the morning. It’s noon now, time to go eat.” Xue Ang put his arm around Li Leshan’s shoulder familiarly and continued, “I flipped through a sign language book a couple of days ago, and it’s not as difficult as I thought. I think it’s quite simple. Maybe I can memorize all the basic vocabulary in the next couple of days.”
“Oh,” Li Leshan said calmly, “that’s impressive.”
He studied for many, many days, even though he didn't know who he was going to show it to. Looking back now, he realizes he never thought about who he was going to show sign language to. Even if he mastered it, what about others? They still wouldn't understand. But he couldn't care less; he needed a way to communicate with the world, even if the world couldn't hear him at all.
So, little by little, by looking in the mirror, he learned it too. It seems that Xue Ang is much better than he was back then.
"Praising me for being amazing?" Xue Ang understood what Li Leshan meant. He was amused and replied in sign language, "Thank you."
University cafeterias are indeed different from high school cafeterias. It just goes to show that the capital city is indeed the capital city; there is no such thing as regional discrimination. The variety, the food, and the bright atmosphere of this place are really different from those in Shengping. Everything about it is different.
"What do you want to eat? I'll order for you," Xue Ang said.
Li Leshan waved his hand, indicating that he didn't need to. He usually chose to eat when there were fewer people so as not to waste too much time for the students behind him, and he also didn't eat the kind of food that required him to pick and choose.
Li Leshan glanced at his phone again, but still no messages popped up. He had no choice but to put it away. It was noon now; Jiang Yueming probably hadn't woken up yet, right? That was very much in line with his style.
"You've checked your phone eight hundred times already, something's up?" Xue Ang, sitting opposite him, could see everything clearly and couldn't help but feel curious.
Li Leshan looked up to meet his gaze, then lowered his eyes again. "Is there?"
Has it happened that many times?
"Eight hundred is definitely out of the question, but eighty is a sure thing." Xue Ang grinned, his gossipy nature stirring. "What's up, something going on?"
"Are you curious?" Li Leshan asked him.
He felt it didn't matter whether he talked about it or not. If no one asked him, he wouldn't take the initiative to talk about it, just like when Liu Yang asked him, he answered.
"Just curious," Xue Ang said with a smile. "You're so handsome, your girlfriend must be very beautiful."
Although he hadn't answered yet, Xue Ang seemed to have confirmed that his situation was indeed that of the "object," even though it was.
"No." Li Leshan responded using sign language.
"Not your boyfriend?" Xue Ang raised an eyebrow.
He thought Li Leshan would tell him frankly, but was it really not true? Because Li Leshan did seem like a straightforward person, and it felt like there was nothing to hide.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Li Leshan replied.
These days, homosexuality is truly rare. In this era before the internet was fully developed, information was somewhat scarce. These three words were, to some extent, a taboo subject. Absolutely a "rare thing." Not in a positive sense; it's not a sexual orientation, but a "disease" that needs to be scorned and treated.
A few years ago, something happened in the Third Alley. So-and-so's son was gay and came out to his family. He was so upset that he wanted to jump off a building. Not only did he want to jump, but his whole family wanted to jump down and end it all.
In short, this kind of feeling, even in a legitimate romantic relationship, is shrouded in a different kind of emotion. Because it's different, it feels strange.
Li Leshan didn't know if his words would be met with suspicion, after all, coming out to his roommate so soon after the start of the semester was practically unheard of except for him. But Li Leshan didn't see anything wrong with it; he didn't think it was anything shameful or something he couldn't tell others. If they wanted to look at him differently, so be it; it wasn't like he hadn't been through it before.
"Huh?" Xue Ang paused for a moment, then laughed. "I didn't understand, haha."
He smiled at Xue Ang and continued eating with his head down. He was going to work at Qiu Xin's place that afternoon, so he said goodbye to Xue Ang and prepared to go to his part-time job. Thinking about it, he realized he hadn't yet explored the area around the school, although he wasn't particularly interested in such novel things.
As evening approached, Li Leshan loaded the last case of beer into the car and finally received a message from Jiang Yueming.
His hands were a little dirty, so Li Leshan casually patted them on his pants before opening the chat interface with him.
Jiang Yueming: What's so great about me? I'll come to Beijing to find you! I'm going there to have some fun anyway.
Actually, Li Leshan didn't really want him to run around. When he was choosing his major, he had already decided that if anyone needed to go looking for a job, he would do it himself and not bother Jiang Yueming.
Furthermore, he also wanted to visit his aunt and the others.
Jiang Yueming sent another message: It's a promise, I haven't been to Beijing yet.
Seeing how excited he was, Li Leshan had no choice but to give up the idea.
He thought for a moment, then continued texting: Okay, I'll book a hotel for you. Don't take the train, take a plane. I'll transfer the money to you.
Jiang Yueming: Stop.
He replied almost instantly.
Jiang Yueming sent a voice message: "What are you doing? It doesn't matter what you sit in. Can I buy a sleeper berth? If you give me money, then I won't come."
After listening to the voice message, Li Leshan could almost picture Jiang Yueming's expression on the other end. He typed: "Then I'll come find you."
"No, I still want to go to Beijing for fun. Can I get into your school? Can you show me around?" Jiang Yueming said.
Li Leshan: Sure, I don't want you to sit for so long, it's tiring.
"Oh dear, you're so worried about me." Jiang Yueming's voice was cheerful as he said with a smile, "Lele, I'm not tired. I just feel better as soon as I see you."
Upon seeing Li Leshan, he immediately regained his full energy. Actually, if he could fly, he really wanted to go—not just by airplane, but by rocket, ideally launched there. In truth, Jiang Yueming really couldn't bear to spend a few hundred yuan more on the round trip; anything was fine as long as he could see Li Leshan.
Li Leshan's lips curled up slightly. He played Jiang Yueming's voice message again and replied: Me too, I really want to see you too.
"Right away," Jiang Yueming felt a surge of desire when he said that, wanting to skip class and just leave, not caring what class it was. "What are you doing right now?"
Li Leshan glanced around and suddenly realized that he was still in the shop. He had been so focused on Jiang Yueming that he had forgotten about her for a moment, and he didn't want to hide it from her.
Li Leshan: I work part-time. The boss is a very nice person and takes good care of me. She's from near Shengping.
"Oh, working?" Jiang Yueming's voice came through the receiver, cautiously, "Are you tired? Are you busy? Will my presence bother you? Lele, if you need money, just tell me, okay?"
Li Leshan replied to him one by one: Not tired, not busy, not delayed.
He listened to the voice message and was a little stunned.
Li Leshan couldn't help but ask: "And what about you? Do you go do the work and then pay me?"
What's the difference? Just because it won't tire him out? Li Leshan couldn't accept this reason or this approach. Nobody's money comes from thin air. If Jiang Yueming had to work to earn money for him, then... he couldn't accept it, and he couldn't do that.
If he does that, he's being incredibly selfish. Won't Jiang Yueming get tired? Won't he be able to handle it? Can't he really ignore all of these things?
He continued, "I know you mean well and don't want me to be too tired. I'm really not tired. I can earn my own money. I don't want you to do this for me."
After a while, another voice came from the other end.
Jiang Yueming's tone lowered, with a hint of apology, "Okay—I was wrong, I won't say that anymore. Just know that, I really... really feel sorry for you."
The second half of the sentence was spoken very softly, but Li Leshan could still hear it. A warm feeling welled up inside him, and his heart started beating a little faster.
“I feel sorry for you too. I’ll be happy if you take better care of yourself,” Li Leshan texted.
“I know, Lele, you’re so kind to me,” Jiang Yueming said. “But if you ask for a little bit of what I give you, you can rely on me a little bit. I’m two months older than you, and as your older brother, it’s only right that I do this.”
They're the same age, yet Jiang Yueming calls him "brother" now. Back in the day, when she was being cute and playful, she called him that all the time.
"In the next life," Jiang Yueming sent another voice message before Li Leshan could object, "you can be the older brother, and you'll be two months older than me. Then I can rely on you more, okay?"
As Li Leshan listened to his voice, he could almost see Jiang Yueming standing in front of him, pitifully trying to persuade him. His throat tightened, and his heart tightened as well.
If there really is an afterlife, he doesn't want to be only two months older than Jiang Yueming. Just two months older, that's still too little, far too little. At least two years older, or even longer, three or five years, so he can give more, do more, and be a better "brother," a better boyfriend.
It's much, much better than it is now.
Li Leshan's hand lingered on the screen for a long time.
Slowly, he typed a line: "Okay, brother."
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