Chapter 68 Youthful Innocence and Bitterness "That day you asked me if I was scared, and I really..."
The hottest and most unbearable time of year in Shengping has arrived. The air is so thick it feels like you could wring water out of it, and the cicadas' desperate chirping makes everyone restless and irritable.
The middle school entrance exam results were released around the end of July and beginning of August, around the same time as the college entrance exam results. In the three alleys, families with children taking the middle school exam or the college entrance exam were all praying, and a silent atmosphere of tension permeated every household.
The windows were wide open, hoping for a sliver of cool air, but instead, only scorching heat and an even more incessant chirping of cicadas rushed in. Even the old locust tree at the alley entrance, which was always lush and green, now had its leaves drooping listlessly.
The old fan in Li Leshan's house creaked and groaned as it spun around, but no air was blowing. There was a tiny bit of air, but the air it produced was hot.
Based on the difficulty of this year's exam questions and the enrollment plans of various schools, Li Leshan estimated that the admission score for Shishi High School this year would be around 620. Jiang Yueming and he spent a long time calculating the score together, their draft paper filled with calculations, although Li Leshan did most of the calculations.
“Grandma has been burning incense and praying to Buddha for you at home recently,” Li Leshan said in sign language.
Jiang Yueming felt he had done his best. He had written everything he could, and even filled in the blanks for the parabola problem at the end. There's an old saying: "Since you're here, make the best of it." "You reap what you sow."
"Grandma must have had such a hard time. I wish I could go back to 2008, I would study like crazy," Jiang Yueming sighed.
"It's not too late now. You'll have to study hard when you get to high school." Li Leshan rubbed his head.
However, no miracle occurred in the high school entrance exam.
Jiang Yueming was a full twenty points short of the cutoff score, which wasn't a big disappointment. At least he didn't lose points due to carelessness. Not getting into the top high school meant he could only attend a regular high school, missing out on the opportunity to attend a top-tier one.
Li Leshan's academic performance remained outstanding. He ranked first in the county and third in the city, an exceptionally high achievement that undoubtedly earned him a place in the Shigao Gaobei Class. The school celebrated this result with great fanfare, displaying banners and gongs. Wu Jinzhong remarked that they hadn't seen such excellent results in five years, ranking so high in the city; in previous years, even making it into the top ten was a significant achievement.
Xu Qing did well on the exam and performed to her expected standard. She finally entered the gates of Shishi High School as she had wished. Although she and Li Leshan were destined not to be in the same class, she was already very satisfied as long as they were in the same school.
Han Jiang's score was as expected; the cutoff was far above his own. However, he had already made up his mind to follow Xu Qing to the Shishi High School, the "Sino-Korean International Class" that cost tens of thousands of yuan to get into, and he said he didn't regret it. He even joked that he was now "international" himself.
On the day the results came out, Shengping experienced a long-awaited summer downpour. Large raindrops pounded against the roof, windows, and muddy ground, creating a misty spray.
The hotline for checking scores was practically overwhelmed with calls, constantly ringing with a busy signal. Wu Jinzhong finally reported the results, and he was overjoyed, feeling like he could jump for joy again, as if he were eighteen once more. He didn't know Jiang Yueming had applied to Shishi High School; he assumed he would go to No. 1 or No. 2 High School. But regardless of which high school it was, as long as it wasn't Shishi High School, Jiang Yueming's score meant he could easily choose any of them.
He congratulated Li Leshan on the phone, mainly addressing him. He went on and on, telling him to study hard, that there were plenty of scholarships at Shishi High School, and that getting into a 985 university would give him a stipend. Not to mention Tsinghua and Peking University; he even stuttered a bit when he mentioned them. In short, he kept painting a picture of an infinitely bright future.
Li Leshan couldn't speak, and Jiang Yueming finally hung up the phone. He just remained silent, glancing at the rain outside.
The room suddenly fell silent, with only the creaking of the fan and the patter of rain outside the window.
"What are you doing?" Jiang Yueming climbed onto the old wooden bed, which was older than them, sat cross-legged, and patted the empty space next to him. Li Leshan also silently sat down, the two of them side by side, legs touching.
"Were you scared by your score?" he joked. "I was scared too. The full score is only 730, dude! You got 700, that scared me to death."
Li Leshan turned his head, his eyes filled with a complex mix of emotions under the dim light. He raised his hand, his fingers slowly tracing lines in the air. "It's my fault."
Jiang Yueming was taken aback, finding his words strange. "Lele, don't say that. Without you, I wouldn't even be able to get 500 points. I'm getting 600 now. Do you know how much you've helped me improve?"
At least two hundred points. Jiang Yueming couldn't even imagine improving his high school entrance exam score by two hundred points. If word got out, countless educational institutions would be vying for him; he could get a job immediately and start earning money. He wondered what his life would be like now without Li Leshan.
“You’ve written so many answer sheets for me. You’ve written just as many as I have, even more than me. If you have to blame someone, blame me.” Jiang Yueming grabbed Li Leshan’s hand, turned it over, and pointed to the skin on his knuckles and the web of his hand that was noticeably thicker and covered with calluses than the rest of his body.
That pile of test papers and workbooks could cover half a wall; the pen refills kept running out and being replaced.
In fact, he had a premonition before the exam. Taking the exam for Shishi High School was like thousands of troops crossing a single-plank bridge. He was squeezed in the surging crowd, and it would be a miracle if he didn't fall off. He didn't dare to hope that he could squeeze to the other side.
“You really… helped me a lot.” Jiang Yueming said, his voice filled with an almost choked sincerity. He slowly took Li Leshan’s hand. “I’m actually pretty good, right? If Yin Guiying knew this, she’d probably think I stole the exam paper.”
The two lay side by side on the old wooden bed. The bed made a familiar, slight creaking sound. After so many years, it remained steadfast, supporting not only them but also the heavy burdens in the hearts of the two boys.
"Lele." Jiang Yueming turned her head and looked at Li Leshan's profile, which was particularly clear in the light and shadow, with a high nose bridge and tightly pursed lips.
He took a deep breath, as if using all his strength, before finally saying what had been weighing on his mind: "Whether I go to Shishi High School or not, I don't care. Really, it doesn't matter to me whether I go to Shishi High School or No. 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 High Schools."
“It’s just because you’re there.” He paused, then continued, “That day you asked me if I was scared, and I really wasn’t. I don’t regret it at all; I just can’t bear to leave you.”
These words were like a pebble thrown into a calm lake, creating subtle ripples. Li Leshan's eyelashes trembled almost imperceptibly.
Jiang Yueming's voice grew softer and softer, as if she were speaking to Li Leshan, but because her voice was so soft, it no longer seemed like she was speaking to Li Leshan. The last few words were almost inaudible, secretive yet surging.
Li Leshan turned to look at Jiang Yueming. In the dim light, his gaze was deep and focused. He touched Jiang Yueming's hair, his lips moving very slowly and slightly.
He felt that Li Leshan was saying something, and Jiang Yueming tried hard to decipher Li Leshan's words from lip reading alone, but because only one desk lamp was on, he could not see very clearly.
Li Leshan repeated it again.
Jiang Yueming saw it clearly, and he muttered to himself, repeating it once.
Li Leshan said, "I can't bear to part with you either."
boom--!
An indescribable surge of heat suddenly exploded in his heart, stirring up a sweltering heat in the summer night. Jiang Yueming looked into Li Leshan's eyes, feeling his heart pounding wildly. He swallowed hard. "Lele, I understand what you're saying."
“I saw it clearly, not a single word was wrong. So… you can’t cheat.”
Li Leshan's gaze met his in the dim light, his eyes churning with emotions Jiang Yueming couldn't decipher.
Jiang Yueming decided to take some lip-reading lessons another day. Sign language alone is no longer enough.
What exactly was this feeling? A strange and intense throbbing, unlike anything he had ever experienced before, swept over him, leaving him numb and helpless.
Jiang Yueming felt extremely strange, as if he had been possessed. He didn't dare to openly stare into Li Leshan's eyes, only daring to steal a glance.
As his mind grew hazy, he felt like a small boat that had finally found its harbor, and his body unconsciously and gently leaned against the warm and solid "embankment" beside him—Li Leshan's shoulder.
Li Leshan remained motionless in his original position. The weight and warmth on his shoulder slowly relaxed his tense body. He turned his head slightly, looking at Jiang Yueming's unguarded profile as he slept soundly. The boy's thick eyelashes cast quiet shadows under his eyes, and his brows seemed to be slightly furrowed even in his sleep.
He gently and carefully rested his head on the top of Jiang Yueming's head.
I felt not sleepy at all.
For some reason, the scene of that "night raid" on the iron tower inexplicably surfaced in his mind. The bottomless, menacing crack that stretched between him and the cold base of the tower seemed to be right in front of him, silently opening its gaping maw in the darkness.
"It's my fault," Li Leshan thought to himself.
If he had tried a little harder, if he had been a little more meticulous, if he had been able to speak more clearly...
If only I had walked around the Eiffel Tower three times back then...
"It's my fault." Li Leshan closed his eyes.
The rain outside gradually stopped. The room was quiet except for the soft sound of breathing.
Two fifteen- or sixteen-year-old boys, on a rainy night after experiencing their first major life decision, lay side by side on this old wooden bed that had witnessed countless drops of sweat and companionship. Their bodies were so close that they could feel each other's body heat and hear each other's heartbeats.
Jiang Yueming's head rested on Li Leshan's shoulder, and Li Leshan's head rested on the top of Jiang Yueming's head, as if their hearts were separated only by a thin layer of clothing.
On this humid and sweltering summer night, no one could have imagined that this parting was just the beginning. The warmth and reluctance of this moment will be recalled again and again in the endless years to come, carrying with them the bittersweetness of youth.
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Author's Note: Something's going to happen in the next chapter (scratching hands)
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