Chapter 123 The puppy misses you so much. Of all the lights in the world, not a single one is shining…
Tickets during the Chinese New Year period were incredibly difficult to buy. Back then, online ticketing wasn't widespread; everyone had to queue at the train station in advance to buy tickets. Everyone was trying to get home, and the waiting halls were often packed with people.
Jiang Yueming managed to buy a ticket for the early morning of the third day of the Lunar New Year, arriving at the train station at 1 a.m. He didn't care about the hard seat; he didn't care about hard seats or sleeper berths, even if it meant standing the whole way, he had to get back. But he hadn't secured a return ticket yet. He told Li Leshan they hadn't bought one, and they would just wait and see.
What he didn't tell Li Leshan was that he had spent an extra 80 yuan on a ticket back to Shengping through a scalper, and upon further inquiry, he found that there weren't even any scalpers available for tickets back to Guangdong on the eighth day of the Lunar New Year. During the Spring Festival, almost everyone across the country was returning home on the eighth day; missing even one day meant missing work or school. Especially for tickets back to Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou, the difficulty was comparable to the Chinese national football team qualifying for the World Cup.
Finally, someone answered the phone, but the price was 250. Jiang Yueming was furious. Who did they think he was? He would rather not go back, even if he was scolded by his homeroom teacher and missed a few days of classes, than pay 250 yuan for this waste.
February 19, 2013 was Lunar New Year's Eve.
The old locust trees lining both sides of the alley have long since lost all their leaves. On their bare branches, a few faded red lanterns have been hung, swaying forlornly in the cold wind.
In recent years, the outside world has changed at breakneck speed. Many young people have packed their bags and gone to factories in the south and universities in provincial capitals, single-mindedly striving for a different future. There's a sense of "a child leaves home with aspirations, vowing not to return until he achieves fame." The alleys that used to be filled with children playing and wisps of smoke rising from chimneys now appear desolate and empty during the year-end season, when they should be at their liveliest.
Han Jiang waited outside Li Leshan's house early in the morning. Even before the New Year's Eve dinner, he rushed over as if afraid Li Leshan would run away on foot, his breath steaming over his red, frostbitten nose. He even forgot that Li Leshan couldn't have actually run far.
"Leshan, let's go! Hurry up and pack your things, we're coming to my house for dinner. My mom has prepared a huge table of dishes, we're just waiting for you!" Han Jiang said hurriedly, dressed like a thick French bread roll.
A warm feeling welled up in Li Leshan's heart. Although he was very grateful to Han Jiang, he still shook his head and typed on his phone to show him, "Thank you and Uncle and Aunt, no need. I want to go see Grandma."
He paused, then added, "I want to talk to her."
He knew that this might have been Jiang Yueming's request, worried that he would feel too lonely and isolated on his own, or it might have been Han Jiang's own initiative. But no matter what, he was sincerely grateful.
Li Leshan wasn't suited to such lively occasions because he wasn't good at speaking. He was afraid his silence would make others feel awkward or uncomfortable, causing an awkward silence in the lively atmosphere. In the past, he would stay with his grandmother in the house, cooking two or three hot dishes and making some dumplings. Li Leshan was already very content with this kind of life.
He looked at Han Jiang and continued typing, "Don't tell Yueming. I'm afraid he'll be sad again if he thinks of his grandmother."
Han Jiang was stunned for a moment. He was a little sad at first, but after thinking about it carefully, he realized that he hadn't thought things through. It was the most important thing for Li Leshan to go and keep his grandmother company. He nodded vigorously, his face showing the solemnity of someone entrusted with a great responsibility. "Don't worry! I promise I won't let anything slip! But you have to keep an eye on things anytime, understand?" He was very simple-minded and didn't think much about it. He was easily persuaded by this reason.
After visiting his grandmother, Li Leshan returned home. He took out his key, opened the rusty iron gate, and found the house even colder than outside. The lights were off, and it was pitch black. Jiang Yueming's train ticket was for the 3rd, arriving at the train station at 1:00 AM. Li Leshan knew this date and time by heart. That's probably why he had asked Han Jiang to take him home for New Year's Eve dinner. Because Jiang Yueming was afraid of being alone.
For some reason, Li Leshan couldn't muster any interest in anything. He made himself a box of instant noodles, ate a couple of bites, and didn't even feel like doing his homework. He quickly lay back down on the hard wooden bed in his room.
He turned to his side, his shoulder pressed against the wooden bed through the thin mattress, a chill running through him, but he was fully conscious. It was the first year since he lost his grandmother, and he was spending New Year's Eve alone. Listening to the booming fireworks outside and watching the lights emanating from the buildings, Li Leshan curled up, suddenly realizing how cold it was.
Of all those lights in the house, not a single one was lit for him.
This realization pierced his heart like a fine needle.
Half asleep, his phone, which was under his pillow, suddenly vibrated. He opened it and saw that it was a message from Jiang Yueming.
Jiang Yueming: Isn't Han Jiang's mom's cooking pretty good? Have you eaten yet? Are you home now? You can't be doing practice problems on New Year's Eve. Take a break, Lele!
Li Leshan answered each question one by one. Although he had never tasted the food cooked by Han Jiang's mother, he imagined it must be delicious. He had heard Jiang Yueming mention before that the only edible food in Han Jiang's family was his mother's cooking. Han Jiang had once made it on a whim, and the whole family felt unwell for three days after eating it, almost to the point of needing to have their stomachs pumped.
Li Leshan: Yes, I'm full. I'm home now, and I haven't done any homework yet. I'm not tired.
He also sent a message: Have you eaten yet? Please give my aunt and uncle a Happy New Year for me.
Jiang Yueming: I've eaten, and I'm watching the Spring Festival Gala now. I'll tell her that Shengping has a child who cares about her.
Li Leshan's lips curled into a slight smile as he replied to the message: I'm not a child anymore.
All things considered, at this age, he really shouldn't be called a child anymore. He's already an adult; it's not right for him to still be called a "child."
A little while later, Jiang Yueming sent another message: In her aunt's eyes, she is still...
Before Li Leshan could reply, new information came out.
Jiang Yueming: I can't talk to you anymore, we're one short for our mahjong game. It's very urgent, I need to win enough money for my trip home for the New Year.
That situation is indeed very urgent, you could say it's extremely critical.
Li Leshan replied with a "Okay," and then added: "How much money do you need? I'll give it to you when I get back."
Jiang Yueming replied almost instantly: Oh, I was just kidding.
Happy New Year, Lele.
A little dog misses you a lot. [Poor thing]
The moment he saw the message, Li Leshan felt a sudden pang of sadness. He hadn't felt his heart pounding so hard in a long time, and now it was pounding against his chest, so fast it felt like it was about to burst out of his chest. Along with this speed came a belated, sharp pain.
Li Leshan's hands trembled slightly as he typed, deleting and rewriting words in the chat box, such as "I miss you so much" and "I want you to come back." He wrote a line and then deleted it all. He held his phone tightly in his arms, as if he could touch Jiang Yueming that way. Tears slid down his cheeks and onto his pillow.
He seemed to have exhausted all his strength, forcefully pressing back those surging, almost bursting thoughts into his heart.
He ultimately sent only four words: Happy New Year.
Dry, weak, and insincere.
He was the one who first suggested staying away, afraid of becoming a burden to her. But he always wanted to get closer, always unable to control himself. Clearly, it would be better if Jiang Yueming were further and further away from him, but he just couldn't bear to... couldn't bear to. He longed for her, so much so, but he couldn't say it. He couldn't let Jiang Yueming take care of her family over there while also taking care of him here; she couldn't manage it all, it was too exhausting.
If he tells her, wouldn't he be too selfish? He's only thinking about his own attachment and reluctance to part, but he might be hindering the other person's progress towards a better future.
The screen lit up, and Jiang Yueming's smiling face gradually became clearer, then blurred again. Li Leshan reached out and gently touched his face through the screen, his Adam's apple bobbing with difficulty. He swallowed back all the surging longing, along with the uncontrollable sobs. Even though the process was as difficult as swallowing razor blades, dry and painful.
sorry.
Li Leshan gripped his phone tightly, his knuckles turning bluish-white from the excessive force. He silently repeated the words to himself over and over again.
This kind of pain can't be relieved by saying sorry countless times, and it can't be dispelled by saying sorry countless times.
Occasionally, fireworks illuminated the night sky, casting the image of a boy curled up on an old bed. The blue light emanating from his phone screen flickered on and off, eventually sinking into the long night along with the unspoken words.
At two o'clock in the morning, Li Leshan's alarm clock rang on time. Train tickets were released seven days in advance, at nine o'clock sharp in the morning. He got up, glanced at the time, and unusually wore a thick coat.
That's how it is these days; online ticketing isn't very developed yet, so you can only queue overnight and try your luck.
Even though it was the early morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, when he arrived there, there were already seven or eight people queuing at the ticket window. As the queue grew, more and more people joined, eventually forming a long line.
Li Leshan held a slip of paper in his hand, which read "Shengping West to Guangzhou South, sleeper berth" so he could hand it to the ticket seller later.
The train station was so cold in the early morning that people couldn't speak. At first, there were still some conversations, but as the temperature dropped lower and lower, even breathing would cause body heat to be lost, and gradually no one spoke.
Li Leshan also had a vocabulary notebook in his pocket, filled with frequently used words for the college entrance examination. When he took it out, a curious aunt next to him leaned over to take a look and said something like, "Kid, you're working so hard! I really want my child to see it." Li Leshan couldn't pay attention to her, so he could only smile at her apologetically. Fortunately, the aunt didn't say anything more.
The temperature started to drop from his feet, gradually fading until he was numb. Li Leshan's hands were red and frostbitten, and after losing all feeling, he would tremble even holding his vocabulary book. Some of the people waiting in line couldn't stay awake any longer and leaned against pillars to sleep, while the smart ones brought small stools or simply sat on the ground.
I don't know how I got through the time that followed.
At nine o'clock in the morning, the ticket window finally opened and began issuing tickets. His hands trembled violently as he handed over the slip of paper. After receiving the ticket, he made way for others and stood outside. Li Leshan took a moment to calm himself down; his legs and feet had been numb for a while and now felt as heavy as if they were filled with iron.
He glanced back and saw that the line was still more than twenty meters long.
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Author's Note: Dogs, rise up!!!
Lele isn't indifferent at all!!! He misses his puppy a lot too [poor face]
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