-71- Question
Zhao Jinghuan had just helped Lu Kai open up his Ren and Du meridians when she received a message from Lu's mother: "Auntie's taking a taxi. You two can chat." Zhao Jinghuan looked up and realized that Lu's mother, who had just gone to the yard to pet the cat, had vanished in the blink of an eye. She and Lu Kai ran to the front desk to inquire, only to learn that Lu's mother had left with a smile twenty minutes ago. She couldn't even get a taxi now, and she might as well have reached the train station. Lu Kai sighed, unsure of what to say, and finally said, "Oh, that's my mother." Since there weren't many customers that afternoon, Lu Kai called his boss and asked for leave. Afterward, he realized, "This isn't right. I should quit." Deciding to wait until tomorrow, the battered Jetta parked in the backyard ran out of juice, and only started after connecting it to the electric bike's battery. Lu Kai loaded the electric bike into the trunk and drove Zhao Jinghuan back to Ji Anya's dorm. On the way back, the two sat alone in the car, feeling as uneasy as ever. Zhao Jinghuan initially thought it was inevitable that they'd been apart for over two months that they'd become a little distant. But the longer they sat in the car, the closer they got to Ji Anya's dorm, the more she felt something was amiss. They'd expressed their affection for each other more than once, yet their relationship remained stuck in the rudiments of socialism. Zhao Jinghuan offered many excuses, like the fact that this seemed like Lu Kai's first time in love, or that Wanfeng's departure had deeply traumatized him. But she still struggled to believe that this "feeling like we're in love, yet not quite close" situation between them was right. She played it lightheartedly and joked, "We seem a little different from everyone else." She meant they were different from other couples. But her explanation was unclear, and Lu Kai clearly didn't grasp it. He even asked her what the difference was. Zhao Jinghuan curled her lips and said nothing, but a sudden sour feeling welled up inside, believing Lu Kai still wasn't serious about the relationship. "But I can't blame him for that." Zhao Jinghuan frowned, wondering why she was making excuses for him again. It was already getting dark when the Jetta arrived at the dormitory building. Zhao Jinghuan got out and deliberately stood by the roadside for a while, giving Lu Kai some time and opportunity. However, Lu Kai got out of the car and simply said that he would resign the next morning and pick up his belongings from the cat cafe dormitory. He would come to Zhao Jinghuan in the afternoon to discuss reopening the studio. After saying this, he waved goodbye to Zhao Jinghuan. Zhao Jinghuan smiled helplessly and turned to leave, but Lu Kai stopped her and said, "Why do I feel...you don't seem very happy...
Zhao Jinghuan helped Lu Kai open up his Ren and Du meridians, but at this moment, she received a message from Lu's mother on her phone: "Auntie's leaving by taxi. You two can have a good chat."
When Zhao Jinghuan looked up, she found that Lu's mother, who had just run to the yard to pet the cat, had disappeared in the blink of an eye. She and Lu Kai ran to the front desk to ask, only to find out that Lu's mother had left with a smile twenty minutes ago. Now, let alone taking a taxi, she might have already reached the train station.
Lu Kai sighed, not knowing what to say, and finally said: "Alas, this is my mother."
Since there weren't many customers in the afternoon, Lu Kai called his boss and asked for leave. After asking for leave, he realized, "This is not right. I should resign."
After thinking about it, I decided to talk about it tomorrow. The broken Jetta parked in the backyard was out of power, and it only started after connecting it to the battery of the electric car.
Lu Kai loaded the electric bike into the trunk and drove Zhao Jinghuan back to Ji Anya's dorm. On the way back, the two of them sat alone in the car, feeling as uncomfortable as ever. Zhao Jinghuan initially thought it was natural to feel a little distant after not seeing each other for over two months, but the longer they sat in the car, the closer they got to Ji Anya's dorm, the more she felt something was amiss.
The two have expressed their love for each other more than once, but their relationship has always been in the primary stage of socialism. Zhao Jinghuan has found many reasons, such as Lu Kai seems to be in love for the first time, and Wanfeng's departure caused him great trauma.
But she still found it hard to believe that her and Lu Kai's "like being in love but not quite knowing each other" situation was correct. She pretended to be relaxed and made a joke: "We seem to be a little different from other people."
She meant that they were different from other people in love. But she didn't explain it clearly, and Lu Kai obviously didn't understand, and asked her what was different?
Zhao Jinghuan curled her lips and didn't respond, but she suddenly felt sour in her heart, thinking that Lu Kai still didn't put his heart into love.
"But you can't blame him for that."
Zhao Jinghuan frowned, wondering why he had started making excuses for him again.
When the Jetta drove to the dormitory building, it was already getting dark. After getting off the car, Zhao Jinghuan deliberately stood on the side of the road for a while to give Lu Kai some time and opportunity. However, Lu Kai got off the car and just said that he would resign tomorrow morning and take back the things he left in the cat cafe dormitory. He would come to Zhao Jinghuan in the afternoon to discuss reopening the studio.
After saying this, he waved goodbye to Zhao Jinghuan. Zhao Jinghuan smiled helplessly and turned to leave, but Lu Kai stopped her and said, "Why do I feel...you don't seem very happy."
Zhao Jinghuan shrugged and said she wasn't unhappy. Unexpectedly, Lu Kai continued, "We are indeed different from others... and others... If this is considered a relationship, I'm not saying we're not, I'm saying if you're willing to be in a relationship with me, if you..."
He became nervous and almost babbled. Zhao Jinghuan looked at him quietly, thinking:
It turns out he knew.
Zhao Jinghuan waved her hand and said it was okay: "With so much going on lately, you're not in a good mood. I understand. Anyway, take it slow..."
Lu Kai shook his head and said it was not a matter of mood. He gritted his teeth and asked Zhao Jinghuan: "Jinghuan, do you like me?"
It was the first time Zhao Jinghuan was asked such a straightforward question by him. She felt a little embarrassed for a moment. She blushed and nodded, but Lu Kai asked again, "Why?"
Zhao Jinghuan was a little surprised: "Does liking... have to have a reason..."
Lu Kai shook his head and said no, no, no, then paused for a moment before saying, "I've always been a little scared, scared that you don't actually like me..."
Zhao Jinghuan said: "I just said, I like you."
Lu Kai shook his head: "No, maybe I didn't express it well. What I mean is...what if the person you like is not necessarily me? If someone else was in my position, you would like him too."
Zhao Jinghuan frowned slightly. She had never thought about such a question before, so she made a joke: "No, I don't like tomatoes."
Lu Kai grinned, but it looked a little forced. Zhao Jinghuan had never considered that Lu Kai's awkwardness around her wasn't due to his inexperience or the pain he was going through, but rather... he didn't seem as confident as he appeared.
Lu Kai said, "I just... often I can't quite understand why you like me. I might be good-looking, but first impressions are all I can make." He added, "I always say I've designed hit toys, but putting a "Squeak" on a dog is just a clever business move. I'm clearly not as artistically gifted as Dorasi..."
Zhao Jinghuan said: "There's no rule that only artists can fall in love."
Lu Kai nodded. "That's right, but... there must be something else worth liking. My studio isn't very successful, and I haven't been able to fulfill my promise to Fanqie and Wanfeng. Sister Zou also felt that there was no future in following me, so she ran away..."
Zhao Jinghuan corrected him and said, "Sister Zou is because of Tomato..."
Lu Kai interrupted him, "Freckles sold well, but I ultimately ruined it. I've been thinking for a while now that if someone else were in my position, maybe they could have found a way to stabilize Dorasi and Tomato, and the studio wouldn't have to disband. Also, I said I was going into seclusion, but in the end, it was you who came up with the idea of putting a chirp on the cat."
He said, “I seem to fail at everything I do…”
Zhao Jinghuan looked at him quietly. She had never thought that Lu Kai's opinion of him would be like this. For a moment, Zhao Jinghuan even seemed to see her own shadow in Lu Kai.
She thought about the time when she had just graduated, failed the civil service exam, couldn't find a suitable job, and stood on the street crying in between delivering food.
Lu Kai was startled when he saw her expression suddenly become serious, and quickly said, "I was just saying it casually. You don't need a reason to like someone, you can like them without a reason. You... don't stop liking me just because you can't think of a reason. I'm pretty good, and you already like me, so don't regret it!"
Zhao Jinghuan suddenly said, "Because of that backflip."
"Huh?" Lu Kai was stunned for a moment. "What backflip? You said you liked me because of that backflip?" He suddenly felt a little sad. "That backflip was so clownish..."
Zhao Jinghuan shook her head: "It's not because you did that backflip, but because..." She smiled, "Look, there are no scars on your face."
She said, "You didn't do your backflip well, you failed, but that's the norm in life." She thought for a moment and said something a little dejected, "It's the same for everyone. Failure is the norm in life."
"Take the people around us, for example. Tomato hasn't yet made his trendy toys a big hit, and Sister Zou spent a long time in an unhappy relationship. Dorasi also couldn't stay with the Doram people she recognized. Speaking of further afield, Boss Chen went south to Dongguan and worked hard for ten years, but was still squeezed back north by his peers in Shipai Town. Even Hu Mingyuan..."
Zhao Jinghuan said, "He went through so much trouble, trying so hard, saying he wanted to vent his anger, but did he actually release it? Even if he did, so what? His sales still couldn't match Little Freckles. No matter how you look at it, he's a failure."
"Maybe that's just how life is. We keep failing. But... you're healing well."
She smiled and said to Lu Kai: "You fell so badly that the blood almost flowed to my feet. I even thought you were dead, but look at you now, there is not even a scar on your face. I think I fell in love with you when I first saw you in the studio last year, because you healed so well, in many ways, not just physically..."
Zhao Jinghuan said, "If it were me, and I had lost such a big face at the graduation ceremony, I would definitely try to die on the spot. Even if I didn't die, I would never meet anyone who knew me back then again. Every time I meet someone, I will doubt whether they know about my past. But you obviously didn't think it was a big deal. You looked very happy. You have your own studio and a group of friends who can laugh and joke with you. Even when those embarrassing things in your past were dug up, you just laughed it off. In the end, you even made fun of yourself and helped us turn the tide."
Zhao Jinghuan said: "When I met you, I was in a very bad state and very unhappy. I think that's why I was attracted to you. You are braver and stronger than you look. And you are indeed such a person. Even though Wanfeng's death brought such a great shock to you, you were disheartened and disbanded the studio. But after a while, you still came to me and told me that you still like trendy toys and you want to try again."
“So, if we are a little more pessimistic, if we feel that failure is the most normal thing in life, then you have the most precious quality: you can heal well.”
Zhao Jinghuan said: "That's why I am willing to stay with you. When I am with you, I feel that I also have the ability to heal."
Lu Kai blushed at what she said. It was obviously what he wanted to ask, but at this moment he was extremely shy. However, despite his shyness, a little pride still rose in his heart.
"Hehe, that's exactly what I am." If he had a tail, it would probably be raised so high by now.
Zhao Jinghuan was amused by him. This seemed to be a very important reason. Lu Kai could always make her happy unconsciously.
She asked Lu Kai: "So what about me?"
"Hmm. What?"
Zhao Jinghuan said, "What do you like about me?"
Lu Kai was stunned.
"Well……"
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