End of Chapter 73 [Abuse of Ke] With Sincerity.
Ke Yanchen's condition was getting worse and worse, so Yan Congrong asked Ye Ren to take Ke Yanchen out for some fresh air.
Ye Ren took Ke Yanchen to a relatively quiet bar.
The blue light bathed Ke Yanchen's deep and handsome features. He lowered his eyelids and couldn't say a word to his old friend.
They remained silent.
Ye Ren's mouth was dry from talking, and Ke Yanchen just kept his head down and drank like there was no tomorrow.
Ye Ren grabbed Ke Yanchen's wrist and snatched the glass away. "Alright, stop drinking." He put a cigarette in Ke Yanchen's mouth, lit it with his hand, and said, "Have one, but don't drink."
Ke Yanchen's eyes drooped, and he instinctively reached for his lighter, only to remember that his favorite lighter was with her. After a few seconds of stiffness, his eyes suddenly welled up with tears, which he could hardly control.
Ye Ren looked bewildered, a hint of pity on his face. "Oh, you... it's just a breakup, you can just find someone else..."
Ke Yanchen threw the cigarette aside, lowered his head listlessly, and after a long while, uttered a nonsensical sentence.
"...I didn't understand at the time."
Courage and sincerity are non-renewable resources; only those who have loved deeply understand them.
At sixteen, he didn't understand responsibility, commitment, cherishing, or love.
He can't even empathize with himself from ten years ago.
He was unwilling to accept it.
...
Ye Ren helped the completely drunk Ke Yanchen home, his face full of apology.
Yan Congrong was a gentle and generous woman. She did not blame Ye Ren, but comforted him and told him to go home early.
After settling Ke Yanchen in, Yan Congrong went to the villa courtyard alone. In the silent night, she dialed Yu Wu's number, expressing her deep apologies and hoping that Yu Wu could comfort Ke Yanchen.
The surroundings were quiet. Yan Congrong hung up the phone and went to check on Ke Yanchen's situation with worry, sighing silently in her heart.
*
Yu Wu met Ke Yanchen at the coffee shop where they first went on a blind date.
A thin layer of mist condensed on the glass window, and outside, sycamore leaves swirled and fell.
The shop was warm and cozy, filled with the aroma of roasted coffee beans. A steady stream of heat flowed in from the overhead vents, warming her body. Yuwu then took off her red plaid scarf and placed it beside her.
She heard a faint sound in front of her, looked up, and saw that Ke Yanchen had arrived.
Warm light emanated from the vintage chandelier overhead, casting soft dappled patterns on the wooden tables and chairs. The air was filled with the hushed conversations of the neighboring guests, the gurgling of the coffee machine, and the clinking of cups and saucers.
Neither of them spoke, yet there was an eerie harmony between them.
Ke Yanchen remained listless, lacking his usual arrogant and roguish demeanor. His fair and handsome face appeared calm, but his dark, deep pupils suppressed his emotions, giving the impression that he had quietly gone mad.
Yu Wu lowered her head, holding the coffee cup in her hands. Her palms were warm and burning. She gently rubbed the cup with her fingertips and slowly spoke.
"I heard that things aren't going well for the Ke family lately?"
"It's nothing serious." Ke Yanchen raised his eyelids, glanced at her, and then subtly looked away. During their time apart, he had almost gone mad with longing for her. But now that he actually saw her, he couldn't bear to look at her. The pain of betraying his lover was like a stabbing wound, constantly reminding him of his selfishness and despicable nature.
Yu Wu nodded. "I believe you'll get through this. You have so many people supporting you; your parents and friends are your support. There's no obstacle you can't overcome."
Ke Yanchen's eyes suddenly reddened, and he raised his thin eyelids, "And what about you?"
Yu Wu asked, puzzled, "...What?"
Ke Yanchen's voice choked slightly: "How did you get through that time?"
There's a line in "To Kill a Mockingbird" that goes like this: "You can never truly understand a man unless you put on his shoes and walk around in his shoes and see things from his perspective. But once you've walked in his shoes, you can't even walk past him anymore. Sometimes what you see isn't the whole truth, and what you know is just the tip of the iceberg."
Even a grown man like him couldn't accept the heartbreaking betrayal of his closest loved one. How did she, with no family by her side, manage to get through that time?
Yu Wu smiled bitterly and lowered her head without saying a word.
Ke Yanchen's pupils welled up with moisture, his attitude was sincere, and his voice was hoarse and strained.
"I haven't received your forgiveness yet."
"I was young and ignorant back then, it was all my fault."
"I sincerely apologize to you, I'm sorry."
Yu Wu chuckled softly to herself, lowering her head to gently rub the inside of the cup with her fingertips. Wisps of steam rose slowly, dispersing between her brows. The autumn sunlight was serene and gentle, casting a soft glow on her cheeks. She blinked softly, causing the ends of her hair to brush against her fine eyelashes, her nostrils flaring slightly as she breathed.
"I will not forgive."
Yu Wu took a deep breath, her eyes indifferent yet gentle, and calmly looked at Ke Yanchen.
"There is no true empathy in this world. No matter how I try to make amends, I can never rebuild the courage and sincerity you took away."
“I can see that you are genuinely remorseful.”
"But I don't forgive."
Ke Yanchen remained silent, his emotions surging more and more intensely. He pressed his lips tightly together, suppressing a sob. As if he could no longer hold back, he forced a low growl: "I've practically died once! Why do you keep dwelling on the past? I just don't want hatred to forever separate us. I was the one who met you first, and you were the one who fell in love with me first—"
“Because I once loved you,” Yu Wu replied softly, her eyelashes lowered, and she exhaled gently.
Love can be intense, and so can hate; one cannot be magnanimous.
...
At that moment, Ke Yanchen almost couldn't hold back his tears. He took deep breaths and tried to control himself.
Yu Wu's fine eyelashes trembled slightly, and the warm breeze above her head ruffled the strands of hair on her forehead. She pursed her lips, brushing her hair aside as she looked out the window.
Do you know when I decided to take revenge?
"It wasn't you who said you didn't know me in public at the basketball court, nor was it you who spread rumors behind my back calling me a slut, nor was it because I saw you and Xia Tingxue's sweet interactions time and time again."
"Those things will make my heart, which is already broken beyond recognition, bleed again, but they still can't stop my secret longing for you."
"I know you're a jerk, but I can't help myself."
"...When we first went on a blind date, I realized you had completely forgotten me."
"I suddenly realized that you really have no conscience at all."
"If you feel even a little bit of guilt, you will never completely forget me."
Before Ke Yanchen could react, she calmly added, "You owe me."
......
Yu Wu turned her face and stared at him intently without reservation.
Everything I have today is something you owe me.
Every word pierces the heart.
Guilt completely consumed him, and the desires in his heart were an insatiable bottomless pit.
Ke Yanchen swallowed the stinging pain in his throat and turned his face away, not daring to look at her.
“So I want to make it up to you,” he said in a hoarse voice.
"How can someone like you give me happiness? Are you sure you've really grown up?"
Ke Yanchen could no longer contain his surging emotions. Two tears rolled uncontrollably down the corners of his eyes. He stubbornly wiped them away, holding them back tightly. The linear arc of his eyes connected to his wet, fragile eyelashes. More and more tears gathered. He silently swallowed, then wiped them away fiercely again.
They were once so close to love.
—He destroyed all of this with his own hands.
Ke Yanchen turned his head to look at her, his eyes red and brimming with tears, his dark pupils fixed intently on her. He reached out a trembling hand, tentatively and gently covering her misty eyes. The moment their hands touched, his heart trembled.
"Give me a chance to make amends."
How will you be compensated?
Ke Yanchen's dark pupils were sincere and moist, and his voice trembled with a sob at the end.
"Can I use my true heart?"
......
Yu Wu met his gaze indifferently.
Even when he sat in front of her, breaking down in tears, she showed no empathy whatsoever.
He would never know the bitter tears she had shed over the past ten years, soaking her pillow with them.
Yu Wu slowly withdrew her hand, draped the red plaid scarf over her arm, and stood up.
“Ke Yanchen, as of now, I don’t want to get involved in anything related to you.”
"Your aunt asked me to come and talk to you today. Whether you can get through this or not depends on yourself."
"I don't forgive you, nor do I hate you—"
"How could you not hate me!" Ke Yanchen smashed the glass on the table with a loud bang. He stood there, panting, letting out a desperate roar: "How could you not hate me!"
The loud noise attracted the attention of the surrounding guests, but Ke Yanchen remained obstinate, staring intently at Yu Wu, with a stubbornness that would not give up until death.
"...Don't make me feel like you're a mollusk with your spine removed."
Ke Yanchen's face was contorted, his eyes were red, and he gritted his teeth, refusing to utter a single sob.
"If I were to die now, would you remember my determination to love you for the rest of your life?"
Yu Wu simply gazed at him quietly, like a silent and indifferent reply.
She left.
Ke Yanchen sat back down, utterly dejected and desperate, closing his eyes and repeating in a low, sobbing voice, "...How could you not hate me?"
*
Yu Wu walked out of the coffee shop alone, wearing a red plaid scarf, her hands in her pockets, walking along the sycamore-lined avenue in late autumn, her feet making a crisp rustling sound.
I felt lighter than ever before, and the gloomy emotions of the past gradually left my body.
Just walk slowly, without thinking or being anxious.
The streets were quiet, and the breeze carried just the right amount of coolness, brushing against my cheeks and ruffling my hair.
She brushed her hair aside, squatted down, picked up a sycamore leaf, and slowly revealed a smile.
It turns out that autumn is almost over.
She used to hate autumn the most.
I've only just realized that autumn is actually the best season of the year.
For Yu Wu, Ke Yanchen's existence was like a mandala.
After ten years of arduous love, he held an inseparable place in her life.
She couldn't bear to part with him, but she calmly and peacefully severed the relationship, and at the same time felt a sense of relief at letting go of this deep-seated hatred.
Reason triumphed over emotion—that's the feeling.
Those shackles and constraints that I thought I could never escape in my youth, now seem insignificant.
-----------------------
The author says: "You can never truly understand a person unless you put yourself in their shoes and walk around in their shoes, and try to see things from their perspective. But once you've walked their path, even passing by becomes painful. Sometimes what you see is not the truth; what you know is merely the tip of the iceberg." (From *To Kill a Mockingbird*)
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