Chapter Eighteen
Li Nan was shocked and exclaimed in disbelief, "You've actually been through so much! Then why do you still keep shipping couples? I feel like shipping couples is just a process of tormenting yourself."
The happier you are when you're shipping them, the sadder you'll be when you find out the truth. I truly admire you. If I ever shipped a fraudulent couple, I would never ship another. I don't want to experience the same lesson twice.
Xu Weiwei smiled and said, "Yes, although I am a pessimistic person, I am very brave and not afraid of setbacks. I think that when I ship couples, it's not that I want them to have a bad ending, but reality often does, and there's nothing I can do about it."
It's not a matter of good or bad luck anymore; the key point is that almost no couple can truly be sweet from beginning to end. Do you think marriage guarantees it? Well, there are divorces too.
Is having a child the solution? No, there are countless cases of divorce after having children. Men and women are truly different. For example, many men are particularly fond of rescuing prostitutes, feeling that they've saved a woman and are incredibly noble—it's a form of personal heroism.
Women are unlikely to be interested in rescuing a male prostitute. After all, a man who uses his body as a bargaining chip for money is utterly shameless. Getting involved with such a person is usually a painful experience.
It's like even if you spend a lot of money to save this duck, the duck might not be grateful to you, but instead choose to run away with all your money.
I really hate it to be in contact with a guy who has absolutely no bottom line. I don't know what you're thinking, but I feel that there are some things that shouldn't be done no matter what.
If I were a man, I'd rather sell a kidney for money, risking my life to earn it, than engage in any kind of sex work. I think that kind of money is too dirty, and I really dislike it.
Not all money is fair game. I don't like dirty money. I come into this world clean and I must leave clean as well.
I believe that the fundamental difference between men and women, whether good or bad, lies in the nature of the person, not in the gender difference. Some say that everyone is bisexual, meaning your sexual orientation depends on the gender of the person you fall in love with, rather than being completely unchangeable.
Do I agree with this view? I do not. I think sexual orientation should be clearly defined. Although lust and love are two different things, they still have something in common.
If you are a girl and you feel a strong connection when watching videos featuring male sexuality, but feel nothing when watching videos featuring female sexuality, then I think you are heterosexual.
If you feel nothing in the former case and something in the latter, then you are a lesbian. Yes, the vast majority of lesbians are actually misogynistic, just like gay men are misogynistic.
It's just that a small minority of normal homosexuals don't engage in sexism. But most homosexuals are abnormal in this way; not only are their private lives chaotic, but their interpersonal relationships are also chaotic.
However, the biggest joke I've ever heard is about a female lesbian who, on her first day in college, was terrified of one of her roommates. The roommate felt that she was at a disadvantage by sharing a dorm room with her, and that this lesbian was taking advantage of her, even though she was straight.
This girl was speechless and decided to rent a place off-campus. She was too lazy to explain to her roommate, who was a bit mentally challenged. After all, she was really ugly, and her standards were always very high; she would never be interested in a girl like that.
Just like heterosexuals, they will look for good partners and choose carefully. They won't just rush into a relationship because it's a woman. They're not that desperate. Lesbians are human too, not some monsters who are indiscriminate in their desires.
However, she didn't take the misunderstanding to heart. After all, she wasn't familiar with the person. Perhaps she had encountered some very bad lesbians and formed a negative stereotype. Such a situation is possible.
So this t didn't really blame her roommate. On the contrary, she felt it was good to be honest and say those words. Otherwise, if she really moved into the dormitory, there would definitely be no peace.
She still moved around back then, but moving was complicated, unlike now, where it's so convenient and you only need to move once.
In fact, based on my observations, many people who are clear about their sexual orientation and dare to reveal their true sexual orientation are mostly individuals with some personality and some financial resources.
Even if my family objects, I am capable and can earn some money. I am not the kind of parasite who only knows how to rely on others to survive.
People who are completely incapable are probably too afraid to openly reveal their true sexual orientation. Moreover, they may not even understand themselves properly.
Sometimes I wonder if love really has anything to do with age? Does love not exist for older people? Does that mean older people deserve to never experience true love? Isn't that incredibly unfair?
I think love is really irrational. Even if I become the richest person in the world, I think the person I love, who didn't love me when I was poor, still won't love me now that I'm rich.
Even if she's in love now, she doesn't love me as a person, but rather my money. Rich people like to pretend to be poor and don't like to spend money on their girlfriends. I've actually seen a super-rich second-generation pretend to be extremely poor and find a girlfriend.
He's too rich, so he wants to find someone who truly loves him, not someone who loves him only because of his money. So he pretends to be poor to test the waters.
The woman was indeed very good to him and didn't mind his poverty at all. However, after learning that he was pretending to be poor, she chose to leave because she didn't like her lover's distrust.
Besides, if someone who approaches her from the beginning is pretending and wearing a mask, then there are only more unrevealed pretenses, and she doesn't like such insincere people.
She gave her heart, and therefore hoped that the person she loved would reciprocate with the same love, not with deception and concealment. She felt this was incredibly unfair, and she couldn't accept such a relationship.
She couldn't convince herself to continue being together. Even if she did choose to continue living with him, she wouldn't love him the same way she did before; instead, she would have endless doubts and suspicions about him.
She simply doesn't believe this person can be so good to her, so loving. She is indeed very easy to fool, but if you overdraw her trust, she will never trust that person again, even if they are telling the truth, she will doubt them repeatedly.
Their love was destined never to return to its peak; instead, it would gradually fade away. No one can accept that their lover has absolutely no trust in them, only suspicion.
In this way, one cannot perceive love. And when one is in a romantic relationship without receiving love, one will feel anxious. Perhaps it is understandable that one initially feels guilty for concealing the truth.
But later, as time goes by, that understanding disappears. Human patience and tolerance are limited; no one can truly persist in loving someone who gives absolutely no positive feedback.
This relationship was destined to fail, so she chose to leave early to cut her losses. Leaving later would only have resulted in greater losses and caused more harm to others.
Moreover, if they break up later, she might become the one at fault. Now that she's leaving, she's the victim and in the right position, and she doesn't like turning what's right into what's wrong.
When things pile up, it takes time to resolve them, but if you set a final goal, you'll have endless motivation to achieve it.
The same applies to love. I can understand why most people who have been in love for so many years eventually break up. Every argument and reconciliation leaves the damage unrepaired.
The way to make up might start with one person apologizing, but this apology might not be very sincere. It's essentially about ending the cold war after an argument, rather than addressing the point of the argument itself.
I bowed my head and need your forgiveness. There are many people who say the most hurtful things when they are arguing. When emotions are running high, is there still love?
Has the other person already been treated as an enemy and is being killed? I think this kind of love is actually very sad. If we were strangers or ordinary friends, we probably wouldn't have such a big argument.
We love each other, yet we argue countless times. So what is our love, really? When you say the most hurtful things to me, can you honestly say that you still love me at that moment?
You wouldn't dare, just as I wouldn't. I, too, will sometimes soberly realize, in moments of overwhelming emotion, that I don't love you, which is why I can hurt you so recklessly.
Because I know you best, I know what you dislike hearing most, so I deliberately say things that you find most unacceptable. It's like how many murders are committed by acquaintances.
I know many people say that love precedes hate, but is hate really a good thing? I suddenly feel that hate is bad. If you love me, can you only love me and never hate me?
But I know you can't do it, just like I can't. Why should I expect others to do something I can't do? That's unfair, and I shouldn't make such an unreasonable request.
Demanding someone to love me forever seems like an incredibly difficult thing, but if it weren't challenging, why even begin? Life is about challenging things.
Things that are too simple can be done in a flash, without much effort required. It seems like anyone could do it, without needing to be selective.
This kind of gameplay is incredibly boring; I don't like it. I prefer games that offer a challenge. Life is full of uncertainties, and once I express my wishes, there's a possibility they could come true.
If you keep those thoughts buried deep in your heart, never daring to even think about them, they will never come true. Only by daring to dream, act, and strive can you embrace a brighter future.
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