Chapter Forty-Two
Lin Nan felt awkward and uncomfortable when Xu Weiwei ignored her. She wasn't a cold-blooded person. Although she liked gossip, she wouldn't chat with people casually.
The reason she talked so much with Xu Weiwei last time was because she had a certain liking for Xu Weiwei, and also because Xu Weiwei hadn't contacted her for so long, as if they had never met.
Now that they met again and it was the same, she really couldn't stand it anymore. She forced herself to endure it for three minutes before going up to find Xu Weiwei.
She questioned, "Xu Weiwei, what exactly do you mean? Although I'm not your friend, we still talked for quite a while last time."
Are we still strangers? Even strangers would greet each other. What about you? Are your eyes so high up in the sky? Can't you see me?
I figured you're not very tall either, and I'm a bit taller than you, so you can see me anyway, since you're not blind.
I'm a grown man, you couldn't possibly not have seen me walk in? I don't believe it. Since you saw me, why did you ignore me? Have I offended you?
To be honest, I harbor deep resentment towards you. Since our last parting, we haven't been in contact at all, and you've never reached out to me first.
As for me? I tried to contact you, but unfortunately I couldn't. After all, you're a very busy person, unlike me, who has so much free time. It's not that I expect you to be exceptionally kind to me.
But why are you being so cold? You're not mute, you were quite talkative in front of me last time, what are you trying to do by suddenly acting like this this time?
I'm not an unreasonable person; on the contrary, I'm very reasonable. But I have to tell you something: your way of dealing with people is problematic.
I don't know why you're acting this way. I want to say that passive-aggressive behavior is truly disgusting. You know what? There's a type of person who particularly enjoys emotional abuse, just like you.
Even though they clearly understand my needs and know what I want, and could give it to me, they choose not to. They just remain silent and give me the silent treatment.
I'm waiting for myself to adjust and find reasons for you. Later, I'll gradually stop having so many needs from you. But essentially, you're abusing me, while I want to build a good relationship with you.
Why are you acting like this? I thought you were a good person, or at least not a bad one. How could you completely ignore my existence?
We are indeed not friends, and I shouldn't have any expectations or demands of you, but feelings are uncontrollable, and I have developed expectations of you.
I'm not the kind of woman who's easy to talk to. I'm not the kind of woman who's happy to chat with just anyone and has a lot to talk about. But with you, I always have so much to say.
Even if we're just talking about trivial things, I'm happy. Yes, I'll be honest with you, ever since we broke up, I've been thinking about you all the time, remembering everything we said. I remember every single word you said to me clearly.
I can't remember anything I said myself, only what you said. Only now do I realize how much I value you.
You know what? This startled me. I'm not usually a person with a particularly good memory; I tend to forget things easily. But you're the only one I can't forget.
Don't misunderstand, this is a very pure liking, not love. I'm not a lesbian, so please don't overthink it. This is just friendship. I really need to explain.
I saw the look in your eyes, it was disgust and confusion. What are you disgusted about? Stop messing around, I really don't love women, I'm heterosexual, I love men, I'm straight.
I simply admire you. How did you even come to the conclusion that there's a romantic relationship between two women? I just want to say, can you please be a little more innocent? Don't overthink it.
Seriously, your attitude has made me angry time and time again. First of all, when we had been out of contact for a long time and couldn't see each other, I took the initiative to contact you, but you ignored me.
Secondly, I came in today full of anticipation and excitement, after all, I would see you again, but what did you do? You treated me like this. If you were me, I think you would want to stab me.
Finally, I was just expressing my appreciation for you, why did you twist it into "I love you"? How can two women even think about love?
You said you don't consider me a friend, but I want to be your friend now. It's one-sided. That's the kind of person I am—I won't turn back even if I hit a wall, I'll keep suffering more losses after I've been taken advantage of, and I'll keep doing the same thing even after I've learned my lesson.
I always believe that perseverance over the long term is meaningful, and that one day the storm will pass. Of course, I don't mean you want to be my friend in the future.
I'm just saying that I do what I want entirely based on my own will, without caring what others think, even if they don't approve of me or think what I'm doing is wrong.
I won't listen; I'll just stubbornly keep moving forward, unafraid of getting hurt. Even if scars leave marks on my body, I won't think about removing them.
After all, you know what? I'm not young anymore. Although I'm a female celebrity, I'm also an actress. I often act without makeup, not caring about my appearance. Even if I look ugly, as long as I act well, that's good.
No matter how beautiful an actress is, if her acting is poor, hollow, and she's not immersed in the role, it won't work. So, how do actors convey their emotions in a play?
It's body language, muscle activity, eye contact, and body language. Is deliberate practice useful? Yes, it is. It's not about using fixed templates, but about self-correction.
Everyone's mind is incredibly powerful, with a lot of potential. It can collect all kinds of information, and once the information is integrated, it will form one's own little talent.
Everyone can only be themselves. Sometimes I think, like two similar games, the one that becomes popular is essentially a copy of the one that doesn't. It just copied the core gameplay and then innovated on its own.
However, the initial idea didn't actually come from the developers of the second game; it was from the brainstorming of the developers of the first game.
Essentially, many stories are actually templates. Take Journey to the West, for example. It's so famous and has become a popular story. Many so-called classics, such as fantasy, magical, cultivation, and wizarding novels, have been influenced by Journey to the West.
And then there's Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which is a historical novel. Are the real historical figures exactly the same as those in the book? Of course not, there are differences.
The book contains some embellishment and distortion; it's not a factual account. After all, it's obvious that the author couldn't possibly know so many famous historical figures.
He simply constructed a rough outline of those historical figures in his mind through literature and his own meticulous research, adding his own insights. Just like every popular movie and TV series, every character, no matter how small, is irreplaceable.
The same applies to actors. If a role they played becomes a hit, others might be envious and say that the same result would have been achieved by someone else.
No, the magnetic field between people is inexplicable. Just like some people don't even understand themselves, I have actually met someone like that.
They spend their whole lives striving, obsessed with money, extremely materialistic, willing to sacrifice everything for money, feeling that as long as they can get money, they don't need to care about anything else.
But on the day he died, he realized that he wasn't as materialistic as he thought, and that he didn't love money that much. He regretted abandoning his first love for money.
His sacrifices, which he once considered necessary, now seem utterly unnecessary. He only realized this when he was on the verge of death, but by then it was too late.
Every sacrifice he made was accompanied by a bitter face and an extremely unpleasant expression. He was never happy, not even in his pursuit of what he wanted.
He mistakenly believed that he was such a realistic and cruel person, not realizing that he had been doing things against his conscience all along, no wonder he could never be happy.
Did you know that when people are truly doing what they want to do, their emotions are always very positive, and they won't feel sad, upset, or grief-stricken?
If you experience negative emotions, don't doubt it; it's because you're doing something you don't want to do. People can have desires and can make appropriate sacrifices.
But these desires and sacrifices cannot be said to be meaningless. At the very least, you should understand what you really want, not deceive yourself, and love yourself.
Of course, another point that confuses many people is that they can't find out what they like. It's simple: try more things, and you'll find the answer.
Never wait, never wait for a windfall. You have to take action yourself. Opportunities are earned through your own efforts. Of course, if possible, don't try to snatch them.
Snatching is so undignified. Besides, whether you win the snatching or lose, you're both losers; there are no winners.
Kind people might regret it later, feeling that they stole someone else's opportunity, and wonder if they are responsible for the other person's poor life.
You could say it exists, or you could say it doesn't. The guilt of a kind person is pure and beautiful, and deserves encouragement. If a person is too selfish, it's really quite boring.
Self-love is acceptable, self-preservation is acceptable, but excessive selfishness is truly unacceptable. A truly selfish person is one who would feel no remorse even if they burned down an entire building.
I've personally witnessed people like this. They play with fire at home, neglecting fire prevention, and burn down most of their houses, making them virtually impossible to repair. So they deliberately put oil in the fire and set it on fire, wanting to see everyone in the building suffer the same fate as them, not just be the one to suffer.
In the end, this kind of person certainly didn't get away with it and went to jail. However, she did implicate countless families and harm many innocent people, and she couldn't afford to compensate for these losses.
The victims have to swallow the bitter pill on their own; no one can stand up for their interests, and no one can compensate them for their losses.
It's like when you owe a small amount of money, the debtor says nice things to the creditor. But when you owe a huge sum of money, the creditor says nice things to the debtor, fearing that the debtor will run away and they'll be finished. They also pray that the debtor will be alright.
This is the same principle as the mutual generation of Yin and Yang. Isolated Yang or isolated Yin cannot last long; only when Yin and Yang interact can the Dao give birth to countless things. Sometimes, life is truly tenacious and beautiful, quite miraculous.
Do you know what? I've heard a story, or rather, a bit of a non-fiction story. It's about an animal that traveled tens of thousands of miles and met another animal—a female and a male—who were the only two animals of the same species on this planet.
They are the only ones left in their group. Logically speaking, they shouldn't have met, since they live extremely far apart and have never seen or known each other since birth.
But, quite strangely, for some reason, they chose to travel in both directions. This is truly amazing; unlike us humans, they can't communicate by phone or anything like that.
How do they manage to coordinate so perfectly from such a great distance? I really can't figure it out.
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