Chapter Fourteen
Li Nan's eyes lit up, and she said, "You've made a great suggestion. I hadn't thought of it before. It's true that listening to others' opinions is the right thing to do."
If you immerse yourself in your own world and think that everyone else is wrong and is harming you, you will become stagnant. To make lasting progress, you need to constantly seek out and absorb the latest information.
We unconsciously integrate a lot of information, and we use that information when the time is right. I've been wondering, is it true that older people's minds are no longer functioning properly?
I'll continue to think about it, I think I still will. The difference is never age, but people. Have you ever played those kinds of competitive games?
Many people get frustrated when they make mistakes in this kind of game, but I don't. I find it very interesting and laugh. I don't get sad or angry when I fail because I feel that success is just so-so for me.
I'm probably one of those small groups who enjoy the process of playing games and don't care about the outcome at all. When I see someone swearing or using voice chat to swear, my first reaction is to mute or turn off the voice chat.
I prefer solo mode to teaming up with others. I find the happiest way to entertain myself. For example, I used to find it hard to understand why people who were optimistic, cheerful, and outgoing as children became withdrawn as adults.
Why do people who were very withdrawn as children become very sociable as adults? Then one day I suddenly understood.
I got along well with many people when I was a child and made many friends, but in reality, I always encountered some bad things. All the harm I suffered when I was a child was brought to me by these friends. Some of them did it intentionally, and some did it unintentionally.
As I grew up, whenever I thought back on these things, I felt a dull ache in my wounds, and I became reluctant to interact with people, preferring to be alone.
People who are withdrawn as children, always playing alone, yearn for the lively atmosphere of playing with friends. When they grow up and have the opportunity, they will bravely try to make friends.
They are all healing from the psychological trauma of their childhood. It can only be said that for every path one chooses in life, many people will feel that the opposite path would be better, but in reality, they are all the same, with both advantages and disadvantages.
I think even the most good-looking person won't always look good. For example, if they get a haircut that doesn't suit them or wear clothes that don't suit them at all, their appearance will plummet.
The unfair part is that if someone who is originally ugly performs a little better and becomes slightly more attractive, they will receive countless compliments.
If someone who is usually very handsome is not in good condition and looks less attractive, countless people will lose their temper and hurl insults, even though he looks great most of the time.
What's even more outrageous is that people who like ugly people still dare to say that handsome men are no good. If you like ugly people, then your taste is only at that level. How dare you keep talking nonsense?
You never dare to criticize your own ugly husband, only praise him, while other people's handsome husbands don't belong to you, yet you still complain and ridicule them. Little do you know, you are the most ridiculous person.
Just like a very kind person who has done countless good deeds, but stops doing good deeds because of their own reasons, they will be scolded and subjected to a lot of accusations and criticisms.
On the other hand, a very bad person who has done countless bad things will receive countless praises for doing one good thing. They will be considered to be exceptionally great, having turned from evil to good, and should be encouraged and supported.
We have such high expectations of kind people, but such low expectations of bad people. Those who have been helped in the past do not stand up to defend their benefactors, and no one knows the tears of the innocent people who have been hurt.
All evil is buried, as if bad people have turned good and their crimes should be forgiven without any consequences. This is the terrifying aspect of human nature.
Love is the same. If you are always good to someone, that person may not cherish your love, and even after breaking up, they may not miss you.
Love is about seeing each other clearly. I'm actually terrified of arguments in love; they're draining on a relationship. I really don't like arguing. I've witnessed my parents' incredibly harmonious and loving relationship; they've never even had a serious argument.
So when I see couples arguing heatedly in the street, I feel embarrassed for them. I think they will break up sooner or later.
In my opinion, morbid love is particularly abnormal. It's the kind of love where you can only be mine and I can only be yours, as if there's no friendship or family affection in life except for romantic love.
It's terrifying to feel like you have to be each other's only one. And then there's that inexplicable madness and jealousy—getting so angry seeing you talking to a strange man that they suddenly rush up and force a kiss on you.
Is this really love? I think this is sick. It's about not being able to control one's emotions, putting oneself above everyone else, and being unable to stand or tolerate just talking. How can one be so dramatic?
However, some girls like their boyfriends to be like this: they frantically choke them and kiss them until they can't breathe, their possessiveness is off the charts, as if they have truly become their boyfriend's possession.
I can't really say that this kind of morbid love is completely impossible; it can exist. It's just that I don't like it. I think it's too abnormal.
Reality isn't fiction; it doesn't need to be so dramatic and absurd. Sometimes, reckless behavior can lead to unpredictable consequences. Don't wait until the outcome is terrible to regret it; by then, it's too late.
I really dislike love that's so unhealthy it can even harm another person's body. I believe the essence of true love is compassion; if you truly love someone, you absolutely cannot bear to see them hurt.
But since you personally caused harm to it, it means that you may not love it as much as you appear to; your love is just a performance.
Sometimes, after acting for a long time, I feel that the line between reality and fiction is not so clear, it's almost indistinguishable. Even variety shows have scripts.
In the variety shows I've participated in recording, some of the guests' lines are pre-designed. For example, even with a very boring game, you have to edit it to make it fun.
Then you'll react more, even abnormally. Even when you laugh, you'll laugh loudly. You're not really happy, but you'll act like you're extremely happy.
Sometimes I feel like idols dance and sing on stage, actors act in dramas, and they also engage in public relations activities off-screen. How can I accept my boyfriend or girlfriend having intimate interactions with other people?
I can understand why most celebrities choose to be with their agents, because they see too many good-looking people in real life, and if they are actors, they will also have romantic relationships with many good-looking people in their roles.
Both boy groups and girl groups often engage in "bromance" (or "flirting" or "bromance"). Generally, there are at least several good-looking members in a group who promote each other's idols and flirt with beautiful women. It's also quite common for handsome male idols and beautiful female idols to hold blind dates at sports meets.
When you talk to and have many attractive people, you no longer feel that love is really that important. Just like an emperor, who has so many beautiful wives and countless children in his harem, what is most important to him? It is imperial power.
Anything that could threaten his throne was something he could discard. For an emperor, love was utterly unimportant. When people have too much, they truly stop appreciating it.
The relationship between an agent and the celebrity they represent is very close. The agent knows all the celebrity's scandals and spends the most time with the celebrity, always traveling together by plane and staying in hotels.
Such a long-term relationship is much closer than a so-called girlfriend. After all, as a celebrity, even if you are in a relationship, if you are not married, you cannot openly reveal it to the outside world. Showing affection is very low-key.
Do agents really want their stars to have girlfriends? They might think that a girlfriend would affect their career, and they might secretly say bad things about her.
Many relationships end this way. Basically, very few people genuinely want their star to be completely involved with his girlfriend, because as a female manager, she's also afraid that his girlfriend will get jealous and ruin her job.
So, instead of striking first, it's better to get rid of this girlfriend. Besides, the better the career of the stars the agent manages, the more money she earns; by destroying the relationship, she's also trying to make more money.
Xu Weiwei nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly, "That's true, but there's nothing we can do about it. Some people, if they truly belong to you, will stay no matter what you do. But those who don't belong to you, no matter how much you do, will still leave when it's time for them to go."
Are people really that bad? To be honest, I don't really believe in true friendship between men and women. If my boyfriend were a celebrity and he had a female manager who had been with him for a long time, I would definitely be very bothered by that.
I might have my husband hire this agent after we got married, but actually my suspicions and guesses were wrong. That's what love is like—such straightforward jealousy.
I wish my boyfriend and I were truly in a vacuum, free from family and friendships. Perhaps it's because my parents didn't love me very much, and I didn't have a lot of family affection, that I don't miss it.
As for friendship, I've basically had no friends growing up. It wasn't until I became a live streamer and joined the company that I became someone I could get along with fairly well with my boss.
But I know my boss has many friends, and she also has her own best friend, unlike me, who only has her as a friend. So, I don't really care much about my friendship with my boss.
If it ends, I won't regret it. Even if I have a boyfriend and he wants me to give up this friendship, I'm willing to.
Although my job recording this variety show was given to me by my boss, I think I'm the kind of person who values love more than friendship.
I can accept my lover's possessiveness towards me. I want to be my lover's one and only. I am the kind of person you know who likes to be forced to love by my lover.
If my partner engages in intimate behavior out of jealousy that causes some physical harm, I don't mind, and I can forgive my partner for doing so to me.
I'm not saying I enjoy being abused; I just feel that if I strongly influence his emotions, then he must love me, and I like being loved intensely by him.
Just like if I see a stranger being intimate with someone I don't know, I'm completely unaffected; even if they did it right in front of me, I probably wouldn't feel a thing.
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