Chapter Thirty-Nine
Li Nan frowned, shook her head, and her face was full of disapproval when she saw the message Xu Weiwei sent.
I think your idea is too extreme. There are people in this world who are relatively indifferent to emotions. I am the kind of person you are talking about, someone who can be very rational even in love.
I can suppress my emotions. I am a person who is particularly prone to internal conflict and reflection. I often summarize and review.
I put a lot of pressure on myself. If I start a romantic relationship, I will be very serious about it. I think that my relationship can last.
I am well aware that romantic relationships require effort and adjustment. Many problems will arise during the process of getting to know each other, and I will not ignore these problems and will resolve them one by one.
In order to solve the problem, I must first not let my emotions control me. I must have my own clear thinking, suppress my overflowing emotions, and focus on solving the problem.
All unresolved problems will turn into tiny holes. When there are too many holes to count, all the water will leak out and the house will be unable to hold any more water. And that's when our love will end.
I don't want things to be like this, which is why I go to great lengths to solve every problem. It's not that I don't have emotions, I just suppress them because I really want to have a future with my lover, to love them for a very long time, until the day we die.
If we're not rational and let our emotions get the better of us, how can we possibly solve problems properly? I really don't think that solving problems in an ideal way is a sign of lacking love; on the contrary, it's a sign of great love.
Besides, do you think being completely controlled by emotions is a good thing? It's like someone driving with road rage; they'll yell at drivers, pedestrians, and other drivers if they're driving faster than them. The whole driving process is just about venting their frustrations and emotions. I wouldn't dare ride in a car driven by someone like that; I find it terrifying.
Xu Weiwei saw the reply, her expression full of disapproval.
I don't agree with your point of view. Emotions cannot be truly suppressed. If they can be suppressed, it means that you don't love them that much. Just like if it's a toy you really love, you definitely won't want to share it with others. But if you don't love it that much, it's just a toy you like. For various reasons, you will eventually decide to share it.
Looking back from the outcome, the difference between loving and not loving is not so much love, it's just that it's optional. I can date you, or I can choose not to date you.
As for me, I don't like this kind of relationship at all. I can only accept love that is very, very intense, a love where losing the other person would be a dead end, a living corpse, a life worse than death.
Just like a child who is not favored at home, even though the parents provide food and clothing, the child is very clear about their situation and knows that they are the one who is favored.
There are three children in the family. She is the second daughter. When her parents buy things, they will ask her older sister and younger brother for their opinions first. They ask with a smile. If they both say no, she will be asked to give them something.
Her parents would ask her if she wanted anything with a cold face, and it was the same with meals. They would ask her last, and their attitude would be the worst. Every time they argued, even if it was her sister or brother deliberately picking a fight, she was always the one at fault. She was always the one who got hit and scolded, while her sister or brother was always right and would never be scolded or beaten.
But to say that you don't love them at all wouldn't be accurate. At least they have given you some things; they haven't given you nothing at all, just very little.
Would you want to be such an unloved child? No, I don't want to be stuck in this middle. Either you get nothing, or you get everything.
To me, someone who is very rational when arguing with me is just like a pair of parents who don't favor their own children and have this terrible attitude—it makes me feel disgusted, uncomfortable, and nauseous. I simply can't stand it.
However, I know I can't convince you to agree with my point of view. I respect your views on love, but I know we can't form an alliance on this. I'm destined not to agree with your views.
Why must we be rational in solving problems? That's unreasonable. If I were truly that rational, I wouldn't have chosen to enter into a romantic relationship.
I know that the probability of a relationship failing is 99.99999999%, and only a very few lucky people will not fail. So why am I one of those lucky ones?
Do I have that confidence? No. Even if I've been in a relationship, I've never felt that it can truly last a lifetime.
My choice to be together was driven by my emotions. Would you carefully consider and fall in love with someone who is exceptionally well-chosen? No.
The person you fall in love with is unknown. The so-called ideal type is a false concept. The person you truly fall in love with may be completely different from your ideal type, even the opposite. But what can you do? You just fall in love.
Ideally, one would choose to be with their ideal type, but is there a choice in who one falls in love with? Absolutely not; it's all about emotion.
You're so emotional even when you fall in love, so why are you so rational when you argue? Do you really still love them? I don't think so. It's just habit at play. You've been together so long, you've gotten so many benefits, and you're reluctant to let go.
When Li Nan saw the latest message, her face tightened and looked terrible.
[It's just about solving a problem, why does it have to be related to love? Everyone loves in a different way. For example, some people don't cry at the funeral when their loved one dies, and they can still work normally. Does that mean they are heartless?]
No, when the pain becomes so intense that you become numb, you lose the ability to perceive the outside world. It's your body's defense mechanism that kicks in, and you only realize later that your life has become a complete mess and you can't accept it at all.
In a relationship, if one person does more and talks less, and the other talks more and does less, is there a difference in status or worth? No, they are actually the same.
Xu Weiwei wasn't very happy when she saw the reply.
Let's not talk about that now, let's talk about something else. I've always been particularly puzzled by this: many popular novels, like those featuring the "sister-in-law" type or melodramatic romance novels, are enjoyed by many people who find them very satisfying, but what exactly is the source of that satisfaction?
For example, the female lead and the second male lead are each other's first love. The second male lead is a jerk to the female lead and treats her badly. The female lead later gets together with the second male lead's uncle or brother. In other words, she is still related to her first love, the jerk. It's just that she later found a boyfriend who is of a higher generation and more successful.
I don't understand this kind of "satisfying moment" at all. It's like the male and female leads. The female lead has a "white moonlight" (ideal love interest) who is the male lead's rival in love. It turns out that the male lead's sister is engaged to this "white moonlight," and the male lead clearly knows that this "white moonlight" is his future brother-in-law and also his rival in love.
He even deliberately stabs the white moonlight (his ideal woman) in the back, saying how close he is to the female lead. What is he trying to do? To be honest, it's disgusting. I absolutely hate watching this kind of plot.
Later in the story, there are scenes where the male lead tries to stop his sister from getting married, but when he says harsh words, he doesn't seem to want his sister to marry; he's quite ruthless.
I think it's outrageous that the second male lead's uncle is dating his nephew's ex-girlfriend, and that he lets his own sister marry his love rival.
Many people find this kind of dramatic plot exciting and enjoyable, like in novels where the male protagonist is adopted by the wrong family and falls in love with his biological son, shamelessly taking advantage of him.
There are also stories where the protagonist is a child who was switched at birth. The child, disliked by everyone, is reborn into a beloved one. The child who was switched at birth enjoys a happy life that was not originally theirs and receives love that was not originally theirs.
It's perfectly reasonable for someone to take back their biological son, abandon you, and send you back to your biological parents. Why do you have to seek revenge on your former parents? A thief who steals someone else's happiness can become the protagonist, enjoying happiness without restraint.
To be honest, it's seriously unreasonable that the male protagonist could have such a good ending. I really can't stand it, but obviously many people think the male protagonist is right.
Like many original creators, they produce original videos, original games, and original copywriting—everything is their own creativity—but it doesn't become popular; only a few people see it.
As a result, it was copied by a famous person and became an instant hit. The original creator became the target of public criticism. The mindless fans of the famous person would say, "You're so obscure, while my idol is so popular. You're just trying to piggyback on their fame. We won't fall for it."
Original content is never popular, so there's no income or fans. You're fighting against many people all by yourself. You're broke and powerless. Even if you're on the right side, the price you have to pay to successfully protect your rights is too high. Most of the time, it ends inconclusively, leaving you heartbroken and forcing you to quit the internet and the community.
Because I was heartbroken and had lost all hope, justice delayed is justice denied, but the damage done over the years is real.
Many people are not that strong. If they cannot see hope for a long time, they will feel endless torment in their hearts, which will be extremely painful and they will not be able to bear this kind of harm.
I've seen too many people who couldn't handle such blows and simply gave up on themselves. I don't think such people are bad; on the contrary, I admire them. At least they were brave once.
Do you think people only have courage when they're young? As people get older and experience more, doesn't their heart grow cold? And they lose their courage?
Just like a first love where you're 100% invested, but the relationship ultimately fails, would you be willing to give 100% in a second relationship? I don't think so.
I certainly wouldn't. I believe that with love, the more effort you put in, the deeper your love becomes. I never start a relationship easily, for my own sake, because I don't want my first love to disappoint me.
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