Chapter Thirty-One
Li Nan nodded and said, "I agree that the essence of love is caring. For example, if my mom and I had a small cut on our hands, my dad would be very calm when he saw it. He would think that such a small injury would heal in no time. If he was worried, he could go to the hospital to get it checked out himself."
But when it was my mom, my dad couldn't stay calm. He lost control of his emotions, his face was full of anxiety, and his eyes were full of heartache. He had to find a band-aid to put on her wound as soon as possible and then take her to the hospital for treatment. In short, he took it extremely seriously.
Does my dad love me? I think he does, but sometimes I can clearly feel that he loves my mom much more than me.
After seeing it so many times, I got used to it. As long as there's love, that's enough. I'm not someone who likes to compete for attention. If I really have a serious health problem, my dad will take me to the hospital; he's not the type to completely ignore me.
Xu Weiwei looked shocked and said, "You can actually be so open-minded? Your attitude is so relaxed. If it were me, I absolutely couldn't. I would complain, I would hold a grudge, and I would think, since you gave birth to me, why didn't you love me properly?"
Li Nan smiled gently and said, "Relax, don't be upset. There's no need for people to stand up for me. I'm already very happy. I've enjoyed good family relationships."
Every family has its own way of getting along, and there is no right or wrong. If you insist on delving into it, you are destined to live a life of misery and find it difficult to escape.
At least my parents don't favor boys over girls and respect me as a person. We have an equal relationship, not one where either of us owes the other anything. Even when I was young and not yet able to take care of myself, my parents took great care of me. They didn't feel that I needed to remember this kindness, but rather that it was what parents should do, and that they didn't need my gratitude.
First of all, before they became my parents, they were a couple and had been in love for many years. They had many shared experiences and had a very good relationship. I think it's only right that my dad loves my mom more. On the contrary, it would be unfair to my mom if we gave her the same amount of love. So what does the extra time we spent together count for?
So there's really no need to think I have a good mindset; this is just my perspective on relationships as a person. I firmly believe that time is powerful, and the longer you're together, the stronger your relationship should become.
Xu Weiwei nodded and said, "That's exactly how it is. As an observer, not being directly involved means you can't truly empathize."
In the past, when I was shipping couples, I always liked to treat both parties as if they were completely isolated. For example, if I was shipping a gay couple, I couldn't stand it when I saw the top or bottom being close to other people, regardless of gender, and I thought they might develop a romantic relationship.
But if it were me, and I had a boyfriend, would I still hang out with other people? I think I would. If I'm really bored, I might just randomly find someone to hang out with to pass the time, without any romantic involvement.
To outsiders, my behavior might seem intimate and ambiguous, but I'm not the kind of person who falls in love with everyone I meet; I'm not that casual.
People sometimes need to kill time. It's boring to just space out all the time. When there's nothing else to do, you might play with other people. It's really just a way to pass the time, like watching short videos.
It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't even involve the topic of love. This mentality is just like if you are a lesbian, go to college, live in a dormitory, and your roommate knows you are a lesbian and feels that living with you is you taking advantage of her.
But in reality, how could one fall in love with just any woman? Many people may never meet their true love in their entire lives. Love doesn't happen so easily, and the so-called attraction is not something that can be taken lightly.
People are so easily fooled. The truth you see isn't necessarily real. I think some things, once missed, are very difficult to get back. Are there couples who get back together and have an exceptionally good relationship? I haven't seen any. Most relationships continue until they eventually break up.
My mindset is easily affected by my mood, and I think it's really stupid to always focus on other people's love lives.
Even knowing it's a bad relationship, they were still in a past romance. It just goes to show how women are; they especially love to study emotional relationships.
Even if others truly love each other for a lifetime, to be honest, as an observer, I myself would never have such a beautiful love story, so why would I want to ship them?
Aren't you jealous? I genuinely want to offer my blessings. Only now do I begin to understand why most people advise against separation in marital relationships. It's because few people truly enjoy seeing couples who were so loving before marriage break up afterward. People prefer a happy ending to a tragedy.
Because many people in real life have a hard life and have suffered a lot, human nature is ugly. Only when we occasionally see the beauty of human nature do we yearn for the light rather than the darkness.
I think the issue is that people don't only have romantic love, but also friendship. If someone is kind to me and I don't dislike that person, then these small acts of kindness touch me, and I might remember them for a lifetime.
In that case, I feel I can't reciprocate in kind; if I treat him the same way, it won't offset his kindness. Sometimes I wish love were just one-on-one, without involving anyone else, but that's just a beautiful wishful thinking on my part.
Reality isn't a fairy tale; it's very real. No matter how much you love someone, there will be times when you have a major emotional breakdown. I used to find it very hard to understand why some people can admit defeat in front of others, but refuse to admit defeat in front of their loved ones. They have to win every argument, even if they're wrong.
Later I realized that when we argued, what I needed first wasn't to know who was right or wrong, but to see how much you truly loved me. Why are people who refuse to express their love but do so many loving things so conflicted?
Is it wrong to be honest about your feelings? I don't think so. So why be so secretive? Can't you just be honest and face your true feelings openly?
I don't really believe that someone can love someone a million times in their heart but only show three times, or love someone only one time but show a million times.
What's the point? It's that you can play all sorts of ambiguous games with people you don't really love, but with the person you love most, you'd be too shy to even look them in the eye, and there's absolutely no physical contact.
Some people are genuinely unwilling to take risks in love. Even if they love someone deeply, they are even more afraid of getting hurt. Therefore, they always need a sufficient sense of security before daring to take the initiative. Without that security, they will remain passively waiting and will not make a move.
Li Nan frowned and said, "I understand, avoidant personality."
Xu Weiwei continued, "People who can manage a romantic relationship well and maintain it in the long term are very capable. I think I'm very likely not able to do it; I don't have that ability."
I think the best relationship between people is no relationship at all, where you are meeting each other for the first time and are not familiar with each other. This creates a strong sense of boundaries, and you think before you speak and are considerate of other people's feelings.
But once you get to know them, things change. They start saying whatever comes to mind, hurtful things just slip out of their mouths, and their attitude is terrible. They don't consider the other person's feelings at all, they only care about themselves, and they are incredibly selfish.
I can understand why so many couples who were once so in love eventually break up. That's just how it is. People are always like this. They think that because the other person loves them so much, they can tolerate them without limits and vent their emotions recklessly, being incredibly willful.
They have hurt their loved ones countless times, yet they show no remorse and continue to make the same mistakes. They even deliberately stab their loved ones in the back, for example, if you have an umbrella, you give it to your friend but not to your loved one.
Thinking of my brother, I'll take care of her. Anyway, she's my lover, so even if I don't use an umbrella, she probably won't mind. We're already so familiar with each other, and our relationship is close enough.
Many couples who have been together for a long time have this mentality: they treat strangers much better than their partners. So what are the benefits of being with you?
Over time, anyone would start to have doubts. People can't avoid comparisons. Just thinking about how badly you treat me but how nice you are to others makes me realize that you do know how to treat people well, you just don't want to be nice to me.
Once you realize this, will anyone still be willing to continue to tolerate it? No, hearts will grow cold and numb, and eventually, as time goes by, hearts will change, and people will fall in love with someone else.
But in reality, it's just that the heart has been hurt too much and has stopped beating, so it mistakenly believes that it no longer loves. When the heart recovers, it will think back to its former lover, but the past is the past, and there is no chance to start over.
I've always felt that if you truly love someone, you should cherish them even more, treat them the best, give them your most sincere heart, and show them absolute favoritism.
Don't worry about spoiling your partner; they won't be spoiled. The more love a person receives, the better they will become. On the contrary, people who lack love tend to have strange tempers and poor discernment regarding love.
They mistakenly believe that love always comes with pain because that's how they've always been treated, they've become accustomed to it, and they've never experienced truly good love, making it impossible for them to develop a correct understanding of love.
Li Nan wholeheartedly agreed, saying, "You're absolutely right. That's exactly how my parents are. They dote on each other the most, but they're never spoiled. This is real evidence; I've seen it with my own eyes."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com