Chapter 50 Park
It was already evening when I walked out of the police station.
The scorching sun finally turned into sunset, reducing a lot of heat, but it was still the dull dusk day after day.
Chen Wan carried the bag and walked on the road in silence.
When she was taking the statement just now, the police officer opposite handed her the bag and said it was her father's belongings.
A few old books, a few clothes, that's all.
He is so frivolous and heartless that he is just a passer-by in this world and will not stay for long.
She walked aimlessly along the sidewalk for a long time, letting her mind go blank.
It was rush hour, and when she passed the overpass, she merged into a surging crowd.
After wandering in the bustling streets for a while, I felt even more lost and lonely.
Finally I came to my senses and looked up at the sky. The clouds not far away that were connected to the building were already faintly blue.
That kind of blue, like Bruce blue, is used to express melancholy.
I looked around and found that it was a very familiar place, an old residential park.
They lived nearby before they moved into the alley.
Chen Wan understood the route she had unconsciously chosen. When she was in elementary school, her family of three often went to this park to play.
At the entrance stands an iron plate of unknown color with mottled paint on it. Vines and branches are entwined on the fence, revealing a sense of age.
But there were still people inside. An elderly man who was enjoying the cool air passed by her leisurely, fanning himself with a fan, bringing a small gust of warm breeze.
Walking past the towering camphor trees and stepping on scattered spots of light, we gradually approached the center of the park.
There is a shallow lake here, which ripples gently in the afterglow of the setting sun, adding a touch of charm to the ancient park.
The lake water is green, reflecting the dim lights and blurry figures.
Some children were lying on the lakeside with nets in their hands, watching the small fish and tadpoles that were barely visible under the dark green algae.
Chen Wan sat on the bench, lost in thought, recalling the time when he and his parents came here as a child.
My mother was still alive at that time. She was an illustrator and often went to the park with her sketchpad and paints to sketch.
Chen Wan and his father accompanied her, and the three of them could spend the whole day in the park.
As the sky darkened, the lake turned a deep, inky blue. The rippling water created shimmering halos of light, like fragments of the past.
She narrowed her eyes slightly and saw a white outline hidden by the shadows of a bunch of trees by the lake.
When I walked around, I saw a swan-shaped pedal boat. In the past, when there were many children on weekends, people in the park would rent boats for fun.
She remembered that she insisted that it was a white duck, but her mother said it was not a duck, but a swan.
Her father touched her head and said, "Yes, it's a big, fat white duck."
Standing on the shore, watching the swaying light and shadows reflected on the lake.
When she recalled the past, tenderness appeared in the corners of her eyes and eyebrows.
The last time she came here she was still a little kid, now she is a teenager.
She was the only one left in the family of three.
More and more people came to the park to enjoy the cool air, and there was less quiet space, so Chen Wan didn't plan to stay any longer.
Without calculating the time or considering the distance, he casually returned to the alley.
As I reached the corridor entrance, I saw a vague outline in the corner of the wall, immersed in darkness.
The light on the partition board gradually brightened with the sound of footsteps.
Chen Wan saw clearly that it was Lin Yu.
He didn't know how long he stood in the darkness. The moment he saw the light, he subconsciously raised his hands to cover his face.
Seeing the person standing on the steps looking at him, he slowly opened his eyes, a warm light falling in his dark pupils, "Chen Wan, you go..."
Seeing that Chen Wan was safe and sound, the second half of his sentence got stuck in his throat again.
It seems that I can't find a reason to care about someone all of a sudden, and I don't know how to maintain a good balance between each other.
The dim light gradually dimmed, just like his eyes.
Chen Wan thought about the series of events that happened during the day. He was so confused that he didn't know where to start. He pointed to the door and said, "I'm a little tired today. I want to go home and have a good sleep. You should go to bed early too."
Hearing this, Lin Yu looked up at her with a complex emotion in his eyes. After a long while, he whispered "Okay."
The moment she closed the door, she saw Lin Yu's figure merge into the darkness again.
But she was already busy with her own affairs.
Zhang Jinzhi's words and Lin Yu's concealment forced her to think about what role she played in this incident.
If it weren't for the entanglement between her and Zhang Jinzhi, Lin Yu wouldn't be in danger today.
When he was forced to drop his gun and raise his hands to show weakness, Chen Wan felt extremely guilty.
He should have been a man of high spirits, but he had to bow down and compromise with people he hated.
The feeling of powerlessness made her particularly uneasy. Since they met, she had always been taken care of by him, but she rarely did anything meaningful for him.
So now she had no idea what to say to Lin Yu, and a thank you seemed particularly insignificant.
Taking Chen Shan's belongings out of the bag, she saw a photo on the title page of a book.
It is a small family portrait. Even the faces are zoomed in so that they can hardly be seen clearly, but you can still feel the joy of taking the photo.
It was exactly the same as the one that had been taken down from the bedroom.
After rummaging through it again, I found a bank card and a voice recorder.
She took two deep breaths and pressed the off button. A moment later, she heard Chen Shan's voice after a long time.
"Wanwan, when you hear this recording, maybe we've met, or maybe not. I hope it's the former." He seemed to be smiling, but he was actually very sad. He paused, "I didn't go home after I was released from prison because I was worried it would affect your mood for the college entrance exam. Dad doesn't want to be a burden to you anymore, letting others point fingers at you."
"I was very happy to see you in the hospital that day because you have grown taller and more mature."
In the days without him, she grew up to be a kind and gentle child.
"I'm not a good father. My lack of care for you has caused you to worry about me a lot, and it has also allowed you to see my dark side."
"These are things that can't be made up for by an apology, but I really didn't know how to deal with it, so I ran away, thinking if you couldn't see me, it would be better."
When he said this, he took a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was much deeper.
Like a dead leaf soaked in water, wet and broken.
"I've never hated you, and I know you feel remorse and guilt, but child, you're not wrong. It's Dad who's wrong, and he should bear the consequences."
"As a father, I am very fortunate that my daughter is an honest and kind person."
Chen Wan gripped the recorder tightly, pressing his thumb on a part of the sound hole.
Chen Shan's voice became increasingly blurred, just like her field of vision.
Adults are always so self-righteous and make the so-called best choices for her.
He said he left to protect her, but in fact he was just running away from himself.
Zhang Jinzhi said that he was not a good father and she was not a good daughter either.
After hearing the recording, she had to admit that she was indeed not a good daughter.
Because he was afraid that her heart would be hurt, Chen Shan took on all the sorrow alone.
If I were braver, cared about him more, and wasn't so childish, maybe I could become his spiritual support.
The recording continues to play.
"Finally, Dad did something he can feel guilty about..."
Chen Wan recalled that when she was taking her statement, the officer opposite her told her, "The clues your father, Chen Shan, provided to our police force were very important. If it weren't for him, it would have been difficult to apprehend the rest of the gang. Your father is a very righteous and kind person."
He is a good man who made a mistake.
He is also a bad guy who atones for his sins with his life.
......
Lin Yu stood at the door for a long time, looking at the closed door of Chen Wan's house, and sighed silently.
Suddenly I remembered that Chen Wan might not have eaten yet, so I decided to buy her something to eat.
They went to a restaurant they often went to and packed up several portions of Chen Wan's favorite dishes.
When I passed by Lawson, I was attracted by the desserts in the freezer window.
This seemed to be not the first time that he had used food to comfort Chen Wan.
He remembered that the last time she went to the hospital to see Chen Shan, she was also depressed when she came back.
He took her to Wangyouju for dinner, and she said the almond tofu soup was delicious.
Lin Yu thought about it and called Zhang Mo. "Is your signature almond tofu soup still available?"
"It's already half past ten. The chef is off duty, so there's definitely nothing to eat."
Lin Yu said, "I remember you can do it?"
"I'm at a party and don't have time to feed you. And I remember you don't like sweets. What's wrong?"
Lin Yu looked at a dessert advertisement at the entrance of the Lawson store and said, "If you love her, give her sweetness."
"Where are you attending the party?"
Zhang Mo gave an address, Lin Yu calculated the distance and found that it was not very far.
After walking into the store and selecting several desserts, he casually replied to Zhang Mo, "I want an almond tofu soup. It will be delivered to our alley within half an hour."
The tone was understated, but the attitude was unquestionable.
Before Zhang Mo could refute, the other side fell silent.
It wasn't until his phone screen went black, reflecting his own puzzled expression, that he uttered a chuckle, "If I remember correctly, I'm the real overbearing CEO, right? How come this guy is even more arrogant than me?"
Although he complained, he still went to the kitchen to find ingredients to meet Lin Yu's needs.
After hanging up the phone, he went to the snack area and selected various types of candies.
A big bag full of fruit candies, milk candies, and chocolates.
The cashier glanced at Lin Yu while scanning the code, and when their eyes met, he chuckled twice.
Lin Yu thought she might have misunderstood that he loved sweets, so he scratched his head and asked in a low voice, "Is it true that the advertisement at the door of your store says that eating these desserts will make you feel better?"
Of course, they couldn't destroy their own signboards. The shop assistant nodded repeatedly, "Yes, sweet foods can make people secrete dopamine, which makes them feel happy."
Lin Yu nodded, paid the money and took the things home.
Just as they reached the entrance of the alley, Zhang Mo called and said that someone had sent it over. Lin Yu glanced over and saw a car driving into the alley.
After confirming the license plate number, he politely took the item.
Zhang Mo continued to chatter, "I made this myself. I tell you, even the leaders of the country might not have the chance to eat it..."
Lin Yu said thank you perfunctorily and hung up the phone without mercy.
Zhang Mo's endless boasting was interrupted by a busy tone. It took him a while to catch his breath and muttered, "Okay, Mr. Lin, as long as you are happy."
Lin Yu carried a bunch of desserts and food upstairs, and a neighbor passing by teased him, "Officer Xiao Lin, are you buying New Year's goods?"
Lin Yu looked down and realized that he had indeed bought a lot, especially desserts. He almost emptied Lawson's freezer just now.
I hope Chen Wan will be happy after eating it.
Walking to the closed door, he took a deep breath, adjusted his mood, then freed his hand and knocked on the door.
I was thinking about the opening remarks in my mind.
After a while, Chen Wanlai opened the door. The light in the entrance was dim, with only a circle of gray-blue light on the white ceiling.
Her eyes were hidden in the semi-darkness, like a pool of dark water in the middle of the night.
"What's wrong?" Her voice was lower than usual, and her breath was fleeting.
Lin Yu's prepared words disappeared silently. He felt that the thing in his hand was particularly heavy, pulling his heart down.
Chen Wan's eyes fell on the large and small bags in his hands, and he was a little surprised. "Are you going to catch the Spring Festival travel rush?"
There was even a hint of sarcasm in her tone. Lin Yu's eyebrows raised a little, and he felt a slight sense of relief.
"You probably haven't eaten yet, so I brought you some of your favorite dishes. I happened to be passing by Lawson and saw that they had new desserts, so I bought some for you."
Chen Wan estimated the number and raised his eyebrows slightly.
Is this called a little bit?
As Lin Yu spoke, he was about to hand another big bag of desserts to Chen Wan.
But when he saw her thin wrist, he calmly retracted it and looked behind her. "Can I come in?"
Chen Wan saw that there was even a hint of pity in his eyes, and inexplicably thought of the eyes of the big golden retriever. In the moment of distraction, he involuntarily made way for Lin Yu.
"Thank you." He smiled and walked straight into the living room.
Chen Wan only turned on a floor lamp, and the turmeric-yellow light made the room even dimmer, as if a dark cloud was settling.
Lin Yu went to the kitchen to get the dishes and set the table, then saw Chen Wan still standing in the shadow of the entrance.
He walked over slowly, stood in front of her, and said gently, "No matter what, you must eat well. You will be happy only when you have a full meal."
Chen Wan lowered his eyes and didn't look at him. He just nodded and said thank you in a low voice.
Lin Yu took two steps back, frowned, and looked at her silently.
In this obscure emotion, both of them fell into a long silence, as if they were making a silent confession.
Finally, it was Lin Yu who spoke first. He said, "I'm sorry, Chen Wan."
He also said sorry at the cemetery.
"If I had told you about your father's whereabouts earlier, perhaps you wouldn't be so unprepared. And you clearly told me about this, but I still chose to hide it. I'm sorry."
After he finished speaking, he felt like a sinking island, falling into an endless deep ocean.
The lingering fear from the day has now turned into a strong sense of guilt.
Because all this could have been avoided, but because of his concealment and self-righteousness, things developed into such a dangerous situation.
As much expectation as Chen Wan once had, he now feels as disappointed.
"It's not your fault. I didn't believe what Zhang Jinzhi said. I know you have your position as a police officer, so you did nothing wrong and don't need to apologize."
Lin Yu has always insisted on doing what he thinks is right. In this matter, he did nothing wrong, so there is no need to apologize.
"Thank you for protecting me today." Chen Wan slowly raised his face and gave him a faint smile. "But I can't even control my mood right now. Can you leave me alone for a while?"
Hearing this, Lin Yu retracted his gaze, nodded, and said, "Then you should have a good rest and remember to eat."
The moment he closed the door, his line of sight was directly facing the living room wall.
A new photo appeared on the originally empty white wall. It was a family portrait.
He remembered the damp mark and the rusty nail he had seen in the bedroom.
Death is uncontrollable, and so the grief it brings cannot be hidden.
He is not the only one who has fallen into the deep sea.
Lin Yu stood outside the door, closed his eyes heavily, then leaned against the wall and blended into the shadows again.
The violent weather during the day became exceptionally mild at night, with a faint sound of wind floating in the corridor.
Since returning to the team, he has been working non-stop and has not had a good sleep for three consecutive days.
Sometimes I just lie down at my workstation and sleep for about two hours.
Before he knew it, he was leaning against the wall, with his elbows resting on the corner to maintain his balance and fell asleep.
After an unknown amount of time, I heard a loud thunder and a flash of silver-white light streaked across the gloomy and dark night sky.
Lin Yu was awakened. Because he had been standing for too long, his knees became stiff and the pain continued to deepen, making him much more awake.
I looked at my watch and realized that I had been standing at the door for more than four hours. It was now past two in the morning and everything was quiet.
Judging from the lightning and thunder, it seems that there will be a rainstorm.
Lin Yu rubbed his knees and glanced at the old couplet on his door that was rustling in the wind.
After walking over and flattening it, he subconsciously took out his key, put it back, and went back to the opposite side.
It really started to rain soon after, and the only sound in my ears was the noisy patter of rain, which made the night even quieter.
No, there was also very soft sobbing.
Like another fitful rain.
Lin Yu was stunned for a moment, then leaned over and slowly approached the door of Chen Wan's house.
The source of the sound is behind the door.
After hearing it clearly, he clenched his palms, trying his best to calm his irregular breathing rhythm, trying to restrain the urge to push the door open.
Chen Wan only dared to cry when it rained, using the sound of rain to hide her sadness.
She is clearly still a little girl who needs protection, but she disguises herself as a calm adult.
The collapse of adults is always silent, and is only briefly released at a certain moment.
Lin Yu sat down slowly, his back against the door.
The secret crying sound penetrated the heavy steel, like an invisible wave, washing away his psychological defenses.
In the end, he still failed to protect Chen Wan.
She obviously missed Chen Shan so much, but because of her hesitation, the father and daughter didn't even get to see each other for the last time.
......
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