Chapter 108 The Wound of Oblivion
That night, I held a steamed bun and couldn't fall asleep, until I heard Cao Cao's footsteps enter the tent.
I looked up and watched him walk towards me.
"Why aren't you asleep yet, so late?" Cao Cao asked.
I didn't answer, and just kept looking at him.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Cao Cao sat down in front of me and asked softly.
"Do you... still remember An Ruo?" I asked, looking at him. Had he already realized that his memory was fading, which was why he was so eager to have such a collection of An Ruo's pieces, even at the cost of leaving me, who shared the same name as her?
"An Ruo?" Cao Cao raised his eyebrows, his expression completely unfamiliar.
"What about Xiaoxiao? Do you still remember her?" I asked again, rephrasing the question.
"Hehe, isn't that you, Xiaoxiao?" Cao Cao laughed.
He doesn't remember, he doesn't remember...
He didn't remember the woman named An Ruo... He didn't remember the woman for whom he had painstakingly collected the puzzle pieces...
That woman who shares my name, Xiaoxiao...
"What's wrong with you?" Cao Cao raised his eyebrows slightly as he touched my face with one hand.
I suddenly felt extremely tired, so I hugged the steamed bun and lay down, turned to my side, closed my eyes, and didn't want to talk.
For several days, I didn't dare to go see Guo Jia.
It wasn't until Hua Yingxiong came to me that he said Guo Jia had been refusing to take his medicine.
I had no choice but to obey and take the bowl of medicine to him.
When I arrived at his tent, he was engrossed in drawing something, so focused and careful that he didn't even notice me approaching.
The entire page depicts a woman, yet she is only sketched with a few simple strokes, leaving her face blank.
"Master, it's time to take your medicine," I called to him.
Guo Jia looked up at me with his usual smile, "Pei'er."
That smile was too beautiful for me to bear.
"Pei'er, I'm wondering if I'll be able to return to Xuchang alive and make the rouge cake one more time..."
"Drink your medicine." I shoved the bowl of medicine into his hands.
He still smiled and obediently drank it all down.
After finishing the drink, he stuck out his tongue slightly, frowned, and said, "It's so bitter."
So bitter? So bitter... Is it the medicine that's bitter, or his heart riddled with wounds?
"Pei'er, can you draw?" Guo Jia asked me.
"No," I said somewhat awkwardly.
"You still remember..." He frowned slightly, as if pondering, then relaxed again, "Ruo Ruo, it's Ruo Ruo, do you remember what Ruo Ruo looks like? Could you help me draw her?"
"I can't draw." I sighed softly, softening my tone.
“I’ll teach you,” Guo Jia smiled. “Those memories are getting more and more blurred, and I’m afraid I’ll completely forget… Ruoruo’s appearance.”
I couldn't refuse in the end, so I took the brush and, under his guidance, somewhat awkwardly sketched the woman's beautiful face stroke by stroke.
Having finally finished, before Guo Jia's slightly surprised expression had faded, the woman's face on the paper blurred again, transforming back into a blank page. (08)
Guo Jia paused for a moment, then smiled apologetically at me, "You've spent so much time drawing for nothing..."
What could I say? All I could say was, it's okay, it's okay...
"The first time I saw her was in Liangzhou. She was only about three years old, a pretty little girl, sitting alone at the door drinking meat soup and gnawing on a chicken leg," Guo Jia said softly with a slight hint of confusion in his voice. "I was very hungry then, so she shared half a chicken leg with me... She said she was a goddess..."
"The second time I saw her was by the moat outside Liangzhou City. Brother Mengde rescued a woman whose face was disfigured and who was on the verge of death. That was her... I treated her wounds according to the medical book... Later, I even opened a shop selling rouge cakes, which she loved to eat... And then, she entered the palace to save me..."
"The third time I saw her, she was disheveled, all alone, unable to return home..."
"The last time I saw her... she died... I brewed medicine for her, and she said, 'You stinking scholar, I'm about to die... please spare me...'"
Guo Jia smiled and slowly recalled each detail, "I have to tell myself this three times a day... afraid of forgetting..."
Thinking of Guo Jia, who was called a "genius," talking to himself like an idiot, I grinned, wanting to laugh, but found that I couldn't.
"What's so interesting about this? Have you ever heard a joke? I'll tell you a joke!" I raised my hand, patted my cheek, and said with a smile.
"joke?"
"Hmm!" I nodded and began to tell the story in one go: "A long, long time ago, there was a child who looked like a tomato. One day, he was walking along, and suddenly... he fell down! Hahahaha, so funny..."
Guo Jia smiled.
I was sweating bullets, but I continued, "Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to enter the palace, but he didn't want to become a eunuch. Guess what happened?"
Guo Jia smiled. "What's wrong?"
"...In the end, he still became a eunuch! Hahahaha..." I laughed loudly.
Guo Jia looked at me, still smiling.
My lips twitched a few times, and I decided to keep trying. But Hua Yingxiong, who was standing outside the door, couldn't stand it anymore and came in to drag me out.
"Please, can you please stop telling such lame jokes... they're freezing!" Hua Yingxiong looked at me, gritting his teeth.
"Is it cold?" I asked, puzzled.
"How about... I tell you one?" Hua Yingxiong rolled his eyes at me and said.
"Okay, okay," I nodded eagerly, looking quite interested.
“There was a polar bear sitting alone on the ice, bored out of its mind. So it started plucking its own fur to play with. One, two, three… until it had plucked out every last hair. Suddenly it yelled…” Hua Yingxiong paused and looked at me.
"What's his name?" I blinked, curious.
"It's so cold!!" Hua Yingxiong suddenly shouted.
"Huh? Hahahaha... It's so cold... Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter..." Holding my stomach, I started laughing out loud.
It was truly hilarious.
Hua Yingxiong initially stood aside, looking at me with disbelief. But as my laughter grew more exaggerated, louder, and more outrageous, he frowned and pulled me away. "Hey! Stop laughing! What's so funny!"
I bent over, head down, laughing incessantly, "Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter, it's so cold... He actually said it's so cold... Haha..."
"Hey... are you done yet... stop laughing!" Hua Yingxiong pulled me back.
I was bent over, still laughing, laughing uncontrollably.
"Pei Xiao! Stop laughing!" Hua Yingxiong finally hardened his expression and forcibly pulled me up, but when he saw my tear-streaked face, he was stunned. "Xiao Xiao..."
"Hehe...that's hilarious..." I said, grinning.
Reaching out to wipe away the tears on my face, Hua Yingxiong looked away and said, "Stop laughing."
"Heh, why aren't you laughing? It's really funny." I forced a smile, and tears finally streamed down my face uncontrollably. "Why... why won't you even leave him with his memories... that's all he has... why be so cruel..."
I can laugh hysterically at a joke that has absolutely no humor, because... I need to find a reason to laugh... to use laughter to soothe all wounds, even if it can't... covering them up is good too...
Hua Yingxiong hugged me and patted my back gently. "It's okay, it's okay, I know, don't cry."
"I didn't cry."
"Okay, you didn't cry."
"I didn't cry..."
"Yes, you didn't cry."
Sometimes I think, would things be better if Guo Jia could have a good cry?
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