Chapter 147 Heart-wrenching Pain (Part 1)
"Madam!" Zhou Buyi rushed forward as soon as he saw me. "Madam, Madam, how are you?"
"Where's Baozi?" I asked Zhou Buyi, who could barely stand. I grabbed him and asked anxiously.
In the distance, a carriage sped towards us, driven by Cao Zhi. The carriage stopped in front of us, and Cao Zhi jumped off. "There is some dry food and some travel money in the carriage."
"Before Zihuan discovers this, you should leave Xuchang quickly. Once you're out of Xuchang, you'll be safe," Zhen Mi said.
“Madam, let me drive the carriage and take you to see the young master.” Yuan Zhi helped me up.
“Hua Yingxiong, he…” I looked at Zhen Mi.
Zhen Mi nodded, "I will give him a proper burial."
I nodded silently, and Zhou Buyi helped me into the carriage.
"Madam, please have something to eat first," said Zhou Buyi, who was driving the car in the front.
I responded, feeling as if my head was about to explode, as if I had a persistent fever...
"If there truly are gods and Buddhas in heaven, may they take my place, protect you, and stay with you... They don't know how wonderful you are; heaven has wronged you... You are the child who most deserves happiness..."
"If only I had met you 1,800 years ago..." He smiled at me, "I would have bought you the most beautiful dresses, taken you to see the movies I starred in, bought you delicious food, and then held your hand while we went shopping... I would have given you so much love, and I would never have left you alone..."
I sat in the carriage, which swayed gently along the way. It felt like I was back in my childhood. Looking at all the unfamiliar faces, I tried to smile, a sweet smile...
Daddy, Mommy... please adopt me, I'll be very, very good...
Daddy, Mommy...why don't you want me? Why don't you want me?
Why……
I lowered my head and buried my face deeply in my knees...
"Madam! Madam!" Zhou Buyi's voice rang in my ears, sounding somewhat alarmed. "Madam, wake up... Madam! What's wrong with you! Madam..."
"What's wrong with her?" a gentle voice, as warm as a spring breeze, asked.
A pair of slightly cool hands gently covered my forehead. "She has a fever."
Then I was pulled into a refreshing embrace. His clothes had a very pleasant scent that made me feel at ease.
I opened my eyes in a daze and saw a face that was breathtakingly beautiful.
"It seems Cao Cao didn't take good care of you." His voice was so deep and pleasant that I couldn't hear what he was saying at all.
My head was spinning, and I slowly closed my eyes again, then opened them again. "Where's Baozi?" I opened my mouth, but my throat was burning with pain.
"Mom." It was Baozi's voice.
Overjoyed, I struggled to get down, but my legs gave way and I knelt on the ground.
"Baozi..." With my eyes still a little blurry, I looked in the direction of Baozi.
Baozi walked up to me without me noticing, and touched my face with his little hand. "Mommy, you look even sicker than me..."
I laughed weakly, murmuring, "I hope... I'm sicker than you... I hope... you're alright..." Reaching out, I hugged the steamed bun and lost consciousness.
Slowly opening my eyes, what came into view was a pure white figure from behind.
I lay in bed and stirred slightly.
The figure turned to the side, wearing a pure white robe as white as snow, with intricate patterns embroidered on the wide sleeves, resembling flowers but not quite, carrying an indescribable allure. Long, black hair was casually tied up with a cotton handkerchief, making her look like a celestial being.
I blinked, momentarily stunned.
"Awake?" He walked to the bedside and placed his hand on my forehead. "Yes, the fever has gone down."
His sleeve brushed against my face, soft and with a very comfortable and pleasant scent.
It felt a little itchy, so I blinked.
"Why aren't you saying anything?" he asked with a gentle smile, as warm as a breeze and the bright moon.
I still feel like I'm in a dream.
Just a moment ago... I was holding Hua Yingxiong...
How did I end up here...?
Hua Yingxiong, he...
"Where did your energetic self go?" he said with a smile. "Cheer up, Baozi still needs your help."
The word "baozi" seemed to unlock my senses, and I sat up abruptly. "Where are the baozi? Where are they?" I asked anxiously.
“In the courtyard, Zijing stayed with him.”
"Zhou Gongjin?" I belatedly puffed out my cheeks and stared wide-eyed.
It's truly a case of enemies meeting, their eyes blazing with hatred.
"Long time no see." Zhou Gongjin smiled warmly. "Do you look any better?"
I grind my teeth, and it's not just that I'm energetic; I could practically kill someone. I talk about it day and night.
"I'll take you to see the steamed buns." Zhou Gongjin effortlessly deflected the question.
My anger immediately subsided, and I remembered Zhou Buyi mentioning that Baozi was sick. "What's wrong with Baozi?"
Zhou Gongjin's smile faded slightly. "Are you alright?"
My heart skipped a beat. He was asking if I had the capacity to know about Baozi's condition.
I took a deep breath, forced a smile, and said, "It's alright."
I'm not alone. I still have Baozi, I still have Baozi... I'm Baozi's mother, so I can't fall before him...
“I’ll take you to see him.” Zhou Gongjin bent down to help me up.
Zhou Gongjin helped me out of the room. Baozi was sitting in the courtyard playing chess with Lu Su, while Zhou Buyi sat to the side watching them play.
"Yuanzhi, what should we do next?" Lu Su turned to look at Zhou Buyi.
Baozi shook his head. "My mother said, 'A true gentleman observes a game of chess without speaking.'"
Lu Su hung his head dejectedly, "Are you even a child...?"
Baozi smiled and said, "Yes, it's me. My ninth birthday is in five days."
Five more days...my ninth birthday?
The thirteenth year of Jian'an...
So... if we can survive these five days, and survive the thirteenth year of Jian'an... can Baozi escape Cao Chong's fate?
As I looked at the steamed buns, a string in my heart was taut. I knew I couldn't live without steamed buns; without them... I would go crazy...
"Uncle Lu, you lost!" Baozi laughed, his pale little face full of pride.
Lu Su was annoyed, "Ah..."
"You have to keep this a secret from Mom," Baozi whispered, "You're not allowed to tell Mom about my illness..."
Baozi was sitting with his back to me, but Lu Su was sitting in a position where he could see me perfectly. He was slightly taken aback.
"You want to back out?" Baozi said with a smile.
Lu Su looked at me, speechless.
Baozi chuckled twice, then gently patted his sleeve, from which two chirping sounds came from.
Lu Su's expression changed slightly.
Baozi smiled, shook his sleeve, and a fluffy little creature peeked out from it. "Come on, squeak, greet Uncle Lu..."
I remember Zhou Yu saying... Lu Su was most afraid of rats...
Sure enough, Lu Su's hair stood on end.
I tilted my head slightly to look at Zhou Yu, who seemed suspicious of my attitude when I asked about Baozi's illness earlier. "You didn't lose to Baozi in chess too, did you?"
Zhou Yu touched his nose somewhat guiltily.
I laughed, but then a wave of sadness washed over me.
That silly child... how long can he keep it a secret?
I turned around and went back to my room.
Zhou Yu was slightly taken aback. "Aren't you going to see him?"
"If he doesn't want me to know, then I'll just pretend I don't know."
Back in my room, I sat down and stared at Zhou Yu.
"Why is my wife looking at me like this?" Zhou Yu asked with a smile.
"What illness does Baozi have?" I asked.
Zhou Yu chuckled, "I promised him I wouldn't tell you."
"When have you ever kept your word?" I raised my eyebrows. I've always remembered how you tricked me out of Danyang and led me into Cao Cao's trap.
Zhou Yu covered his mouth and coughed lightly.
“Intestinal-strangulating gauze,” he said slowly, looking at me. “When I met Rouge on the road, Baozi was having an attack, so I called the local doctor to come and see him. He said it was intestinal-strangulating gauze.”
I have no concept of pathology. "Is it serious?"
"Yes," Zhou Yu nodded, "His body was already weak, and it seems he had been poisoned before, so his blood and qi were imbalanced, leading to his terminal illness..."
He was poisoned...
I clenched my fist slightly.
Where is this?
"It's a small town outside Danyang City. Because Baozi is weak and not suited for the long journey, he can't return to Danyang for the time being."
I nodded, then looked at him with a puzzled expression. "What are you doing here?"
Zhou Yu looked at me but didn't say anything.
Suddenly, I understood. "You arranged for Rouge to go to Xuchang? Is she one of your people?"
Zhou Yu smiled wryly, "She's your woman."
I do not understand.
"It's true that I sent Rouge to your side, but she didn't bring back any useful information for me. However, when Baozi got sick, she was the first person to come to me."
Rouge was carrying medicine when she pushed the door open and heard our conversation. She stood there stunned at the doorway, then lowered her head.
"Thank you." I felt a warm feeling in my heart.
Rouge smiled. "Drink your medicine, Madam."
I nodded and obediently drank the medicine, following her hand.
"Mom, you're awake!" Baozi walked in from outside the door. Seeing that I was awake, she happily went over and sat down next to me.
I patted his head.
“Mom, Uncle Lu said it’s about three more days’ journey from this town to Danyang. How about we go to Chunfeng Deyilou?” Baozi said with a smile, turning his head to the side.
"Let's wait a few days until Mom is feeling better before heading to Danyang." I remembered Zhou Yu saying that Baozi's health wasn't suited for long journeys.
"Mmm." Baozi nodded obediently.
That night, around midnight, Baozi suddenly fell ill.
“Madam, the young master…” Zhou Buyi hurriedly called to me.
I lay in bed with my eyes open the whole time. When I heard Zhou Buyi's voice, I rushed out the door barefoot without even having time to put on my outer robe.
Baozi was lying on the bed, curled up in a ball, like a little shrimp.
His forehead was covered in sweat, and his face was contorted in pain.
The doctor was taking the patient's pulse, writing a prescription, and instructing someone to take it to be decocted.
"Mother……"
Baozi groaned softly, but dared not make a sound.
I hurried forward.
"Mom...don't tell Mom..." I was about to hug him when I heard Baozi's low voice. My hand froze. I looked at Baozi, unsure of what expression to make.
“Okay, we won’t tell her, we won’t tell Mom…” I sat down on the edge of the bed, holding Baozi, and coaxed her softly, “Mommy doesn’t know… Mommy doesn’t know anything, Mommy doesn’t know Baozi is sick…”
I tried to comfort her softly, but it felt as if a huge gash was being slowly torn open in my heart, bleeding profusely and causing me unbearable pain.
"Hmm..." Baozi responded unconsciously.
After feeding Baozi his medicine and seeing that he gradually calmed down, I pulled the blanket up for him and left the room.
I sat alone on the steps, lost in thought. I had inexplicably arrived in this time and space, inexplicably become Lady Huan, and everything was so inexplicable…
Cao Chong, a historical figure, was actually my son.
My steamed buns...
That sensible little dumpling... my only family...
Zhou Yu sat down beside me. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, it's alright," I replied.
"Who exactly are you?" Zhou Yu suddenly asked.
I was slightly taken aback and turned to look at him. He was looking up at the moon in the sky, which was a full moon. He was dressed in a white shirt. I remember that every time I saw him, I couldn't help but be amazed by his appearance.
"Why do you ask that?" I asked calmly.
“You have no parents, no brothers or sisters. Apart from knowing that you are Cao Cao’s wife and Cao Chong’s mother, you don’t even have a place to come from,” Zhou Yu said without looking at me.
"You investigated me?" My voice carried a hint of anger.
"Who exactly are you?" Zhou Yu suddenly looked at me, a hint of confusion in his dark eyes.
Looking into his eyes, I paused for a moment, then turned my head away from him.
Who am I?
Who am I?
"I am a person from more than 1,800 years in the future. I am a person from the future. Do you believe me?" I smiled, just like him, looking up at the full moon in the sky.
I suddenly felt very depressed. Even Hua Yingxiong, the only person I could talk to freely, died because of me. I really wanted to talk to someone, even if I was treated like a monster and roasted on the fire, I didn't care.
Zhou Yu did not answer.
I looked at him, and he was looking at me too, his dark eyes filled with inquiry, clearly very surprised.
I suddenly laughed. "Actually, I don't even know who I am. Even in my own time, you might not be able to figure out who I am." A breeze blew by, lifting my hair and making my face a little itchy. "No parents, no brothers or sisters, not even a single relative... I'm an abandoned child... Do you know what an abandoned child is? It means that my parents may still be alive, but they don't want me."
Amidst the gentle breeze and bright moonlight, two people separated by over 1,800 years sat on the steps, barely a foot apart—a truly strange sight.
"Do you want to go back?" he suddenly asked.
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